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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 27 Feb 08 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 08 - 09:33 AM
Amos 28 Feb 08 - 09:57 AM
Acme 28 Feb 08 - 10:19 AM
Amos 28 Feb 08 - 10:58 AM
Acme 28 Feb 08 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 08 - 03:46 PM
Amos 28 Feb 08 - 04:10 PM
Amos 28 Feb 08 - 04:17 PM
Amos 28 Feb 08 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 08:51 AM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 12:45 PM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 03:51 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 05:50 PM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 07:43 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 07:45 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 07:46 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 09:10 PM
Amos 29 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 08 - 09:35 PM
Acme 29 Feb 08 - 10:59 PM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 10:46 AM
Acme 01 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 02:12 PM
Amos 01 Mar 08 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 08:32 PM
Peace 01 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 08 - 08:45 PM
Peace 01 Mar 08 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 09:51 PM
Janie 01 Mar 08 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 08 - 10:48 PM
Acme 02 Mar 08 - 01:03 AM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 11:02 AM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 11:05 AM
Acme 02 Mar 08 - 11:21 AM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 08 - 04:32 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 05:11 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 08 - 05:59 PM
Amos 02 Mar 08 - 06:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 08:33 PM

More to the point, what is a good-looking joint like that doing to a guy like me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 09:33 AM

This morning much of the swelling is down and I can walk, sort of, without a stick. But it still clicks and "rubs" inside. We'll see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 09:57 AM

What thoughts I havem you soon will see
Concerning you, and your poor knee.
The poor thing's tired, that is plain
Protesting, sad, and full of pain.
Consider all its work outstanding
In past times giving understanding
Supporting in foolish times or wise
Half of your weight, half of your sighs
Giving its all for half your jogging
Standing in service whilst you were snogging
Doing its best, or bent, or straight
To help you walk, or screw, or wait.
Now for all this, acknowledge well
Your knee has followed you through hell!
Thank it for service in bearing loads
In jungles, highways, hills and roads.
It has been valiant, do not doubt it--
Your understanding would fail, without it.
And on the ground, upon your face
Like some cheap substitute third base
You'd lie in endless apathy
Except for the works of your good knee.
Therefore be kind, kind words it tell
And it shall understand you well.
May it have healing, renovation,
Strength, support, and relaxation,
Until, itself well understood
It can return to doing good.


Alexandria Lyber Eri
Understanding Understanding Redux
Patella, Cartilege and Ligament, New Haven, 2007


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 10:19 AM

Sounds like that knee has had an exciting existence all on its own!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 10:58 AM

These damn browser specific codes annoy me. Up thread I posted a very clear reference to Raspaire's desideratum, ∞ - 1.   But when viewed in IE, it becomes a silly degree symbol.   

I suspect this is Microsoft's fault.   Between Microsoft and the Bush family we can account for 85% of the woes of Western civilization, no?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 11:09 AM

I saw that, but I knew what you meant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 03:46 PM

I don't want ∞ - 1. I want ∞ + 1 and if I don't get it I'll...I'll tell Mom, that's what I'll do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:10 PM

OK, OK, ?? + 1 -- you can have it!! All you have to do is write the very next post as soon as we reach ??.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:17 PM

Hey, Rapaire -- go for nine more posts and you can get 22322, a real Spinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 10:57 PM

Make it eight, Oh Righteous Keeper of All Data...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 08:51 AM

My knee hurts.

That's what I get for trying to play my trumpet before the doctor said I could, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:16 AM

Um---how does playing the trumpet impact your knee? Do you have your head in the wrong location when you essay this feat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 12:45 PM

I told you earlier I play it with my toes. How else would you push down the valves? With your fingers? Don't make me laugh! You need your fingers to play the clavichord!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 02:29 PM

Well, if you had a prehensile sphincter, I could offer a suggested solution which would even leave your lips free to kiss some donors in appropriate places...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 03:51 PM

Amos, that's how my brother plays the bagpipes! It leaves his lips free to play the trombone!

How did you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 05:50 PM

Taking a moment to visualize the musical dexterity described in the last few posts. . . [gag]

oh, sorry, I'll be back in a minute. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:43 PM

GRAB IT RAPAIRE!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! THE PERFECT SPIN NUMBER!!! GRAB IT MAN!!! ITS KARMA!!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:45 PM

what number?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:46 PM

;-D

I couldn't resist. Rap was probably soaking his poor knee in a hot tub or rolling on the Absorbine Jr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:10 PM

Actually, Rap was just getting home. But that's all right. I'm used to it by now. Rejection, I mean. Have I ever mentioned that I lack a navel because my mother rejected me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM

Aw, man, Rap, I yam tellin' youse, ya gotta get off this "Victimology kick, man. It's a dead end!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:35 PM

Truth is truth, Amos. They ARE out to get me. They keep trying to make me give up but I'm smarter than that. I believe what our President said, that if we quit now the terrorists win and also that the mission is accomplished and why isn't he on MOAB?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 10:59 PM

Bush turns up and I'm outta here--or else he gets the MartinGibson treatment until he vamooses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:46 AM

The world's longest and best thread brought instantly to a screeching, thundering, flatulent halt.


I can imagine it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM

Yeah. I prefer the MartinGibson treatment. Insult him. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 02:09 PM

Big George or Big Dick come 'round here I'm gonna let 'em know what I think of 'em, and I ain't a-gonna mince words neither. I'd display my erudition and vocabulary, but Big George wouldn't understand it and Big Dick would have a heart attack.

Did you ever notice the similarity of Big George to the The Joker in Batman and Big Dick to Lex Luthor in Superman?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 02:12 PM

Shhhh.....HE who must not be Named is he who must not be Named....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 03:24 PM

Funny you should mention that. I have noticed the similarity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:32 PM

Somehow though I can't picture Condi as Catwoman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM

I'm starting to worry about that fellow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM

Big Georgy-Porgy (as Condi calls him)? Amos? I've been worried about Amos for quite some time. Between you and me, I think he's, well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:45 PM

Nom de Dieu! Il s'avère que l'ennemi calomnieux a été conduit par le champ de la bataille par la puissance de la langue française. Périssez ainsi tous les tyrans!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:04 PM

Bon dieu, nom de plume!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:51 PM

Όνομα του Θεού ! Αποδεικνύεται ότι ο συκοφαντηκός εχθρός έχει οδηγηθεί από τον αγρό της μάχης από την τροφοδότηση της γαλλικής γλώσσας. Χαθείτε έτσι όλοι τύραννοι !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:19 PM

Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:48 PM

Oh, LH has slipped into French again. He does that periodically, or as he says at these times, "Tonnere de Brest, mais je suis une tete du merde! Ou est mon 'Les Aventures de Tintin'?" (I don't have a French keyboard, but you can get the idea.)

He'll come out of it eventually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:03 AM

As to the adventures of George and Dick, I have a wonderful poem on my office wall sent to me by a friend at Purdue. He won it in an auction of some sort and sent it as thanks for a favor. I should do more favors! It was written by Calvin Trillin and published in The New Yorker. This is the typed page and Trillin signed it.

I CAN'T APPEAR WITHOUT MY NANNY DICK
(George W. Bush explains the interview arrangements
he's made with the 9/11 commission)

When called upon to testify
I said I was a busy guy
So maybe we could do it on the phone.
They really want a face to face.
I said, OK, if that's the case,
I'm certainly not doing it alone.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
For Nanny Dick I've got a serious jones.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I love the way he cocks his head and drones.

Cartoonists show me as a dummy,*
With voice by Cheney (or by Rummy.)
I'm the butt of every late-night satirist.
But I just can't go solitaire.
I need the help that's due an heir.
I need a dad, and dad's a multilateralist

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
He brings along a gravitas I lack.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick --
The one who knows why we attacked Iraq.

Yes, Condi Rice is quite precise
With foreign policy advice
On who's Afghani and who's Pakistani.
I like to have her near in case
I just can't place some foreign face,
But Condoleezza Rice is not my nanny.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I wouldn't know which facts I should convey.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
It's Nanny Dick who tells me what to say.


*Though Charlie McCarthy's the dummy
Whose name has been most often heard,
Some folks who remember that act say
I'm closer to Mortimer Snerd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:02 AM

Nanny DIck!! Nanny Dick!!
There's a handle that should srick!!
A social label for the National Prick,
Nanny Dick.

Good morning, Mommy Dearest!!

Vote for Obaaaaama.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:05 AM

Rapaire, vous êtes un simpleton, un homme exempt d'esprit ou sagesse. Il est mon souhait que vous devriez être piétiné à la mort par un troupeau saccageant de porcs, et que votre cadavre mutilé devrait alors être dévoré par des hyènes. Vos chaussures sont laides. Votre manquent dans la discrimination. L'arrêt de votre existence malheureuse serait du grand avantage pour égaliser les habitants éloignés de Zanzibar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 11:21 AM

He hasn't even had his morning coffee yet, Little Hawk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:14 PM

Evidently, LH is still sucking n left over cocktails from last night. LH, speaking of weird alien characters, your French is full of them, not related to the language.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM

Well, LH is one of them....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 01:01 PM

Just so we are all clear about it here is what Babel says Little Hawk said to Rapaire:

"Rapaire, you êtes a simpleton, a man free from spirit or wisdom. It is my wish that you would owe être piétiné à death by a ransacking herd of pigs, and that your corpse mutilé would owe then être dévoré by hyenas. Your shoes are ugly. Your miss in discrimination. The arrêt of your unhappy existence would be great advantage for égaliser the inhabitants éloignés de Zanzibar."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 04:32 PM

Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can read what passes for French without artificial aids.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:11 PM

Well, his French i not exactly orthodox.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

Your ability to translate my French into coherent English, Amos, is about at the same level as your ability to resist the temptation to be unnecessarily verbose. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:33 PM

What I said, translated as best I can recall, was to this general effect:

Rapaire, you are a simpleton, a man free of either wit or wisdom. It is my wish that you might be trampled to death by a herd of rampaging pigs, and that your mutilated corpse might then be devoured by hyenas. Your shoes are ugly. You lack discrimination. The termination of your miserable existence would make even the inhabitants of distant Zanzibar more than happy.

(I'm paraphrasing, you understand, but that's the general sense of it...) Don't take it personally! I'm just practicing for the "insulting each other" thread. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:53 PM

Little Hawk,

I got your effing translation from the same place you did, pal. Be not disingenuous.   Because you chose to be as insulting as a a frothing, rapid street-dog, and further chose to d so under the thinly veiled of a foreign tongue, and then chose to find some cheap-ass robotic interface to do the translating for you...for all these reasons, sir, I spit on the casabah of your frontal forefather.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 05:59 PM

Have you been hitting the bottle today, Amos? Or did you write that last post first in English, then translate to French, then translate to Romanian, and then back to English again? You're getting a trifle incoherent. Furthermore, your post shows signs of emotional instability.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 06:30 PM

Pfui on your cheap psycho-babble shots, Leedle Hawk. My emotional stability is without pareil in all the known world.

Have you ever heard Townes van Zandt sing "Goodbye, Mommy Shrimp". It made me think of your French. At the end he says, "Wal, I reckon there's a difference between 'choked up' and 'gagged'."


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