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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM
Acme 22 Aug 11 - 07:02 PM
gnu 22 Aug 11 - 07:32 PM
Amos 22 Aug 11 - 08:28 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 11 - 11:12 PM
Acme 23 Aug 11 - 10:10 AM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 11 - 11:45 AM
gnu 23 Aug 11 - 01:44 PM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 02:44 PM
gnu 23 Aug 11 - 03:25 PM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 11 - 11:20 PM
Acme 24 Aug 11 - 11:40 AM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 25 Aug 11 - 07:43 AM
JennyO 25 Aug 11 - 08:31 AM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 09:23 AM
Acme 25 Aug 11 - 09:28 AM
MMario 25 Aug 11 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 11:05 AM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 11:47 AM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 11:58 AM
Acme 25 Aug 11 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 12:56 PM
MMario 25 Aug 11 - 01:45 PM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 01:58 PM
gnu 25 Aug 11 - 02:55 PM
Acme 25 Aug 11 - 04:17 PM
Bill D 25 Aug 11 - 05:16 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 05:42 PM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 09:33 PM
Kim C 25 Aug 11 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 10:23 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 25 Aug 11 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 10:49 PM
Amos 26 Aug 11 - 11:24 AM
Acme 26 Aug 11 - 12:52 PM
Eiseley 26 Aug 11 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 11 - 02:15 PM
gnu 26 Aug 11 - 02:42 PM
Acme 26 Aug 11 - 03:05 PM
gnu 26 Aug 11 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 11 - 05:05 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM

Oh, man, Gnu, they musta put sompn in the water up there. You are waxing lyrical of late!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 07:02 PM

That tornado that passed over Canada may have dropped something in the water on it's way past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 07:32 PM

20 to 22C on the morrow. Time to COOK!! I snagged 2 pounds a green beans and half pound a yella beans... picked today... and a smoked pork shoulder ($1.49 a pound... up 50p from spring but what the hell eh!). Fresh cabbage, carrots, spuds. We are talkin good eatin for four days for Mum and me, not to mention ham and eggs.

A healthy colon is a friendly colon I always say.

Of course, I will spell her off with some brilliant salmon. One does not pork it every day at 85.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 08:28 PM

Not to put my friends into a dry comma, but a partial colon is a semicolon, I allus useter say, back in the day. Them friends as I had back then --them as isn't dead or drugged beyond recognition or some such--will affirm I allus useter say that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 11:12 PM

Here I am on Puget Sound
With mold and mildew all around
The fog clogs up my eyes and nose
And I couldn't see the tide that rose
So my feet are wet, my hair is too
This is a day that I will rue
But tomorrow I will to Port Townsend go
And leave Neah Bay to Makahs and snow
By Thursday I'll in Tacoma be
Juan de Fuca I will no longer see
But I'll call the Deckman as I closer get
And perhaps we can our tonsils wet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:10 AM

I wish I were there! They've barely had summer this year and we've had way too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:58 AM

If thou should then the Deckman see,
Pray send him warm regards from me,
And send from yonder Stilly sweet,
Five gallons of that Texas heat.
From Little Hawk, send fantasy
From EIseley, lines of poetry.
From Man of Emms, an auroch steak
As long as you are on the make.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 11:45 AM

Ah. The fog has lifted and I can see the first step on the stairway!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 01:44 PM

To heaven?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 02:44 PM

Oh, dear Gawd, Rapparee is having an out-of-body experience!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 03:25 PM

I wish I could too. This one is pissing me off. Worked on a door selvedge a while ago and had a hard time getting up... and down... and up... and...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:18 PM

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure
one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them,
but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

                      Aristotle


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 11:20 PM

Yes, Aristotle (we called him "Ari") was thinking of me when he wrote that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 11:40 AM

MOM, did you see that we lost John Howard Davies? We've laughed at so many of his programs on the weekend evenings! I know you designed the kitchen and a couple of the bathrooms to be just like in Fawlty Towers, and the back yard is just like the seedy one in The Good Neighbors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM

RIP John and thanks for all the yuks... a true craftsman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM

Today is St. Bartholomew's Day. If you're French, take a Hugeonot to lunch and apologize.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM

If yer a Hugeonot, don't take any Cat'lics ta lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM

How to Watch the Tibdes
by Rapparee

1. Be somewhere where there are tides. The seacoast is good, but since the moon pulls on Earth's waters equally you can also use your bathtub, a bowl of water, or even the water coming out of your garden hose or, if youu can't find anything else, watch a toilet bowl.

2. The tide goes away ('out') ever 12 hours or so. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY! The tide will come back. If it doesn't we're all in a lot of trouble.

3. To measure the going in and out of the tide, measure it against a rock in the water or some similar thing. DO NOT use an island off int he distance, a boat, or a person wading in the water. If you are indoors and looking out don't use a speck on the window glass, because if the tide comes in that far you're going to drown.

4. Be patient. The tide may only rise a few inches, or it could rise many feet. Try not to be way, way out on the beach when the tide comes in, especially at places like Turnagain Arm or the Bay of Fundy.

5. Enjoy tide watching. Remember that fog can mess you up (see 4, above).

6. A hint: you can tell if the tide is in or out by looking at some boats. If you see an aircraft carrier or a supertank leaning on its side in the mud the tide is probably out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM

The Bay of Fundy tides are the highest in the world. Actually, that is not right. They are the lowest in the world. That's what sucks dumb humans into going out where they should NOT be at low tide. Then again, it thins the herd.

Speaking of tides... I can walk out over a km in front of my buddy Jim's cottage (less than 20m away) at low tide and swim in the warmest water north of the Carolinas. It's a nice spot... in summer. In the winter, ya want a Zodiak in the yard when the ice crashes against yer house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 06:44 PM

Oh! I SHOULD mention... his spot is NOT on the Bay of Fundy... it's on The Northumberland Straight. Next to Shediac, The Lobster Capital of The World. Better than that, it's the last spot on the coast west of Parlee Beach... world famous Parlee Beach.

Jim spent many hours lobbying and gaining support from the locals to have the local government approve and fund a wooden walkway from the shore right-of-way to the beach next to his property as Jim is a community minded citizen.

And, when ya sit on the edge of Jim's lawn with dark sunglasses on, ya really can't be called a perverted old man when ya watch the constant parade a yer beach bunnies in everly decreasing in size swimwear.

Yeah... I said it. I like looking at beach bunnies. Don't judge me. I would never even approach a bunny. But, if I win the lotto, their mother's might be in serious danger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM

Beach bunny such as gnu watches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 07:43 AM

Rapparee's on one end and I'm on the other. Georgia is hot and humid, but pleasant for all that. I didn't find the stairway to heaven or anywhere else, but yesterday I went out in the woods and found an old trail that seemed as if it hadn't been used for many years. There was a wild pear tree (not a peach), and many beautiful orb spiderwebs I tried to avoid. I took my cousin's dogs and they loved the ramble. Today we're off to see some Indian burial mounds.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 08:31 AM

Rapparee, I watched the tide come in, in my toilet bowl yesterday, and it never went out. A hasty trip to the hardware store and a lot of dislodging of sea monsters and other nasty things eventually made it go out.

This is the toilet further away from the bedroom, so again we may hear the flush of a distant toilet......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:23 AM

Hi, Mom. I spent six hours negotiating very heavy LA traffic yesterday, but I spent four hours having a great lunch and plan meeting with my brilliant webmeister son who isa wicked smart. That's why I haven't writ.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:28 AM

Sounds like a great walk, Eiseley. Watch out for those venomous snakes. Georgia will have some different sizes and colors than Idaho (but you know that!)

The rest of you, you need to feel pretty flush to tackle plumbing problems. They're invariably expensive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:45 AM

my hotel is booked for post-getaway week or relaxing and a trip to the MD ren-faire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:05 AM

I've registered for Getaway and have my plane reservations. Now, if Amos could give me a ride....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:47 AM

I will be visiting Gene and Sandrolin Thursday afternoon and evening. When do you land from your wild and wonderful personal altitude, and where, sirrah?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:58 AM

footle\FOOT-l\ , verb;
1.To act or talk in a foolish or silly way.noun:
1.Nonsense; silliness.

Quotes:
Sometimes, on a good day, I would go upstairs with my duster and footle around the parlor, adjusting paintings and straightening cushions, knocking them into shape with such military precision that even my mother would have saluted them.
-- Marion McGilvary, A Lost Wife's Tale: A Novel

I say, Charlie, for any sake do play up tomorrow, and don't footle.
-- Rose Macaulay, Abbots Verney: a novel

Origin:
Footle has an uncertain origin. One candidate is the French se foutre, to care nothing." Another possibility is the Dutch vochtig, "damp or musty."





Make up rhymes, jump in a puddle
Sing to the clouds and let us footle
Loud and wide, at top of lung,
Footle, footle while we're young!
Late in life, your brain's a muddle
And it grows dark, and hard to footle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 12:05 PM

You're all going to footle at the Getaway, I know it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 12:56 PM

Today, August 25, is the birthday of Ivan IV, a/k/a "the Terrible." Take a psychotic Russian sociopath to lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 01:45 PM

How is Ivan these days? Isn't he an honorary member of the Idaho Brigade?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 01:58 PM

It is also approximately the thirtieth anniversary of the release of the 8088-chipped IBM "Personal Computer" -- hard to believe it has only been 30 years!!

Rap, PM me with your flight details, or email me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 02:55 PM

"six hours negotiating very heavy LA traffic"

I don't even shovel snow that long. I think I prefer snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 04:17 PM

I KNOW I prefer snow to heavy LA traffic. If I have to drive through that area I try to time it so I'm going through town at about 3am. And am way far away by the time the traffic hits the road.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 05:16 PM

"You're all going to footle at the Getaway, I know it!"

I think the Methodists probably consider 'footling' almost as bad as *gasp* imbibing....it's no doubt in the fine print. We will have to footle syruptitiously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 05:42 PM

I'd be treacled pink to do that, Bill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:33 PM

It will be easier this year because there will be mo' laddies there, and also molasses.


And where is that PM, Rapp????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 10:15 PM

Lordy, I ain't been around here in ages, and lo and behold, this thread is still going on. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 10:23 PM

Yup. We jist keep a-pluggin' away, reaching for the stars. Ol' Mom's already self-aware.

Happy, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 10:39 PM

What a day, Mom. I visited some ancient Indian mounds, hiked through a humid forest (and ran into a huge spiderweb that was stretched across the path, ugh) and played in a Magic tournament with my cousins. Tomorrow we'll hike up to the top of Stone Mountain. I thought of you, Amos, because my aunt lives in a community called Tucker.

On a different note, Ann retired today. Good ol' Blood and Guts is no longer at the library. I'll miss her a lot. Wetly to SLC on Saturday p.m., Home on Sunday.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 10:49 PM

I urge everyone to raise a glass to Ann. She's a good, good person and deserves a great retirement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 11:24 AM

No glass here, but I picked up my coffee mug and sent a nod in the direction of Ol ' Blood and Guts, just for earning the moniker.

Call me when you're back on hallowed ground, Rapp.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 12:52 PM

Librarians who retire are most worthy of wonderful retirements! My dad went on to do what he really wanted to do - research and share folk music. Became a self-trained ethnomusicologist. The reference librarian background helped tremendously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 01:29 PM

And my father has gone on to enjoy a lively reputation as a 3-D photographer and backyard astronomer. Yep, retired librarians can do some fine things. We all know that Rapparee has been wrestling rattlesnakes.

Eiseley, still in Atlanta


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 02:15 PM

I've decided thatI'm moving on to the Professional Jell-O Wrestling Circuit. I think I can wrestle Jell-O to the ground, if there's nothing else in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 02:42 PM

I wrote a god damned letter (Canuck joke) to the editor of our local. I just got a call asking me if I really want them to print it(it more or less calls the newsapaper intentionally inaccurate by implying things about hurricane Irene that they could have easily known to be false so that they can sell more papers... it says they are greedy and I am disgusted and they should be ashamed of themselves for scaring the elderly... blah, blah, blah).

I said, "Roll the presses." I shall stay at cane's length from Mum if and when they print it.

If ya care... here it is...

I was extremely upset upon reading the following in your front page 2011.08.25 article re hurricane Irene. "Forecasters' predictions are changing daily, however, as hurricanes are notoriously fickle. On one thing they agree, and that is the possibility that Irene could grow into a Category 4 hurricane, meaning winds around 217 km/h (135 mph), and rain of an intensity that is rarely seen in New Brunswick - not to mention storm surges that have become all too common along coastal New Brunswick in recent years."

Several of my elderly friends interpreted this as saying we are to experience 217 kph winds and torrential rain. Before this article was written, the Canadian Hurricane Centre had predicted winds of less than half of those implied by the article and the prediction has been lessened since. Rainfall predictions are yet to come.

I attempted to allay their fears by printing the hurricane track map available on the Environment Canada website and giving it to them along with an explanation. Some are still worried as they trust your newspaper to provide them with accurate information.

Unfortunately, accurate reporting of readily accessible information regarding the weather appears to play second fiddle (on TV and radio as well) to sensationalizing the actual situation in order to sell newspapers (and advertising air time). Some may salute you for your business acumen. I think it's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Your financial gain in selling a few extra newspapers does not warrant this kind of greedy transgression in scaring people who trust the media to report accurately.

IF your goal is to educate people about emergency preparedness, perhaps you could do it without scaring the elderly? PLEASE??? You might be elderly some day. You may want to be treated with some respect by being told the truth instead of being "sensationalized to".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 03:05 PM

I have a couple of sets of friends who had ongoing arguments running on the Letter to the Editor pages in my hometown paper. It's quite a role to take on - a curmudgeon in public like that. More power to you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 03:20 PM

Thanks SRS. It's constantly on the TV... "we have a line of possible thundestorms moving through" at the top of the news hour. I get a call. I check the radar. They don't exist. They don't happen. And it's obvious they never were going to happen. But, when the ratings spike in real time, the ad person gets more money for the open spots they have saved. It's sickening... in real time.

Last summer, I sent an email to a TV station regarding that very instance. I addressed it to the weather terrorist on screen in the subject. I got an email back saying not all emails could be delivered to specific personnel because of blah, blah, blah, bullshit. But, it didn't happen again for nearly a month.

Greedy bastards!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 11 - 05:05 PM

Moncton, NB, August 26: Weather Canada has stated that an earthquake, measuring 10 or better on the Richter Scale, might occur "at any time". At the same time a supervolcano may erupt, the fissures resulting from both ripping New Brunswick from the rest of Canada and propelling it in the general direction of the Canary Islands. There is a 50% chance of these happening in the next week. The Coast Guards of the both the US and Canada are on alert.

Every word is true, even the 50% part. After all, it will happen or it won't....


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