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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 03 Apr 15 - 09:34 PM
Amos 04 Apr 15 - 02:11 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 15 - 08:22 PM
Amos 04 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM
Acme 04 Apr 15 - 11:29 PM
gnu 05 Apr 15 - 06:44 AM
Rapparee 05 Apr 15 - 09:42 AM
Amos 05 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM
Acme 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 PM
gnu 05 Apr 15 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 15 - 08:35 PM
GUEST,BWL still on the road 05 Apr 15 - 09:15 PM
Amos 05 Apr 15 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 15 - 10:47 PM
Ebbie 06 Apr 15 - 01:02 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Apr 15 - 01:08 AM
Acme 06 Apr 15 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 06 Apr 15 - 10:54 AM
Rapparee 06 Apr 15 - 08:16 PM
gnu 07 Apr 15 - 06:28 AM
Rapparee 07 Apr 15 - 09:51 AM
maeve 07 Apr 15 - 11:12 AM
gnu 07 Apr 15 - 11:24 AM
Amos 07 Apr 15 - 02:52 PM
Acme 07 Apr 15 - 03:34 PM
gnu 07 Apr 15 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 15 - 07:21 PM
gnu 08 Apr 15 - 06:23 AM
Ebbie 08 Apr 15 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 08 Apr 15 - 12:53 PM
gnu 08 Apr 15 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 15 - 06:24 PM
Amos 08 Apr 15 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 15 - 09:21 PM
GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll 08 Apr 15 - 10:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Apr 15 - 11:44 PM
Amos 09 Apr 15 - 01:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Apr 15 - 07:53 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 15 - 10:25 AM
gnu 09 Apr 15 - 11:25 AM
Amos 09 Apr 15 - 04:16 PM
gnu 09 Apr 15 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 15 - 06:05 PM
Acme 10 Apr 15 - 12:22 AM
MMario 10 Apr 15 - 08:24 AM
gnu 10 Apr 15 - 09:05 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 15 - 10:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Apr 15 - 11:01 AM
Acme 10 Apr 15 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 15 - 03:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 09:34 PM

Tomorrow I have to try to mow my back yard. I've tried four times now and still haven't managed to push a mower through all of the tall grass and weeds. Right now the grass is so tall that Chongo could go missing in it. My dogs could find him, but would probably go around him instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:11 AM

Just back from a wonderful evening listening to Martin Carthy, and his vibrant and charming daughter Eliza, performing a colorful and varied collection of great English folk songs. These two are a perfect treasure together. AMDS deserves applause for making San Diego the first stop on their American Tour.


Local folkie paper covers the story here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 08:22 PM

Amos, you're in deep trouble with Mom. Up carousing and who-knows-what until all hours of the night! You're gonna git grounded you're gonna git grounded nyah nyah nyah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM

Thirty-six long and colorful years have slipped away since I first invited my BBW to go diving to see the manatee at Crystal River, Florida. She says she had no idea at the time what a manatee was but she looked at me and said "Yes" anyway, from the bottom of her heart. Tonight she said it was "the rightest right choice she ever made". Melt my heart, darlin'! Happy anniversary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 11:29 PM

I can claim the same number of years friendship with a partner who I lived with for 20 years, married for 12 of those. The last 15 are better because we aren't married to each other - we are family even if we aren't. Whatever works! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 06:44 AM

Awwwwww... ain't love grand!

Yesterday morning, I put all my HD snow clearing clothing away. Guess what I just did. Oh well, at least it's light and fluffy. There wasn't a lot but it was windy so it drifted in front of Mum's back door and in front of the garages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 09:42 AM

Poor, poor Amos. Only 36 years. We're into our 42nd. She'll never ride the Meyer ferry 'cross the Mississippi again. (For one thing, it's shut down.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM

Well, see, unlike you I went out and practiced a couple of times so I would get the real thing right when the time came. Poor, poor Rapparree--trial by fire and green as a hickory whip. But you have to give him due credit for making it through without remedial training.

I am showcasing at the Trinitea Coffee House on Navajo Road on April 13th--y'all come on out and catch the show!

Yeehaw, and all that. If you do, I will take your requests! Don't know what I will do with them, but I will take 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 PM

Those "starter marriages" - quite a concept, awkward in execution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 06:56 PM

-16C tonight? You have GOT to be shitting me. Fuck you Old Man Winter! Callous prick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:35 PM

Please sing "The Bastard King of England" whether I'm there or not. It's a request I send out in honor of my brother, The Bastard King of England. If you can't sing that, please sing "Jesus Love Me" and/or "They're Moving Fathers Grave To Build a Sewer" and/or "The Drunkard's Child."

Thank you.

Is Strawberry Alarm Clock playing as well? Will John Lennon be there? How about Janis Joplin? Mama Cass? Homer Glinch? Or just you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,BWL still on the road
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 09:15 PM

Hi Mom. Know what I really don't like? Forks with flat tines. Fork times are supposed to be curved, not flat like someone stepped on them or smashed them with a sledge hammer. Yes, my aversion is probably a symptom of OCD, but so what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 10:40 PM

I think its an economy measure--they only have to stamp them once if they're flat,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 10:47 PM

A curved die could be used, Amos. Here's one with curved tines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Apr 15 - 01:02 AM

Love your fancy fork, Rap. What a visual- spreadin' them wide.

When BWL first wrote about forks, farm girl that I am, I thought of hay forks and that made me think of manure forks then of potato forks. Got to the table late.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Apr 15 - 01:08 AM

I see some of you folks was complainin' about me a coupla days back, complainin' about what I got to say, but you couldn't stop talkin' about me anyways, and I know why. You secretly want me around to put a little excitement into yer dull human lives. So I ain't been here for a bit. So what? I had other stuff to do, see? My life don't revolve around this here forum, I just come here when I got a little spare time. Yer damn lucky to EVER hear from me! So don't complain about it when ya do. It won't do ya no good anyways. Just have some ZALOXX in a nice cool drink and you'll feel better soon.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Apr 15 - 10:36 AM

At least when you post here we don't have to explain to readers who you are, Chongo. On facebook it sometimes gets a little confusing. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 15 - 10:54 AM

Penelope Whatall hasn't been around for awhile. Neither (I'll put it in code) has Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 15 - 08:16 PM

Saw the surgeon. He said that I'm coming along nicely and not to lift anything that might cause me to strain -- like a something heavier than a beer mug. Now if I can just shake this fatigue!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:28 AM

Glad to hear the good news, Rap. Hope you feel better soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 09:51 AM

Three months, two surgeries with general anesthesia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 11:12 AM

That's enough to make anyone feel fatigued!
Come watch eagles with us.
Maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 11:24 AM

Old Eagle Eyes Jessop from Sandy Ego could pick you up along the way. It's just a skip and a jump for his private jet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 02:52 PM

I wish to formally state for all who may be interested or concerned that:

1. I am not related to the JESSOP clan, who were expelled from our East Coast founding family for refusing to learn how to spell "Jessup" correctly. According to legend they ran off to the West and went into trade.

2. My ego is not sandy, and has not been sandy for several decades, since I became an enlightened spiritual being and was entrusted with command of the local Galactic Sector. In fact, far from being sandy, it is a well-polished, burnished and gleaming golden sort of ego, as such things go. But I must confess, I have not seen it for some time.

AHJ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 03:34 PM

The hardest part of surgery for me, before I knew to ask them to not use it, was the Versed. Nasty stuff used on all and sundry because it is probably cheap and because for many it knocks them out and apparently causes people to forget the surgery if they felt it. But it gives me the worst hangover imaginable. I was speaking to a nurse about the way I felt after a surgery and she told me it was the Versed and that I could ask them to use something else for the "relaxation" portion of the procedure. It makes me feel bad for days, like I'm wearing a heavy hat much too tight. The last time I had surgery without it I felt much better quite soon afterward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:00 PM

Good advice, SRS. However, it wouldn't work here as we have Medicare. Ya get what ya get. I am minded of a story... hmmm... better not tell that one. I'll just say that a nurse said something to me just as I went under and it was hilarious. I looked at an OR nurse I knew about a week later and I swear she had those same eyes I saw above the mask when I went under. I asked her if it WAS her and she said, "You'll never know." They way she smiled, I knew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:21 PM

And at two different hospitals. Both good, about 20 miles apart. Depends on which the surgeon prefers and where s/he has privileges, I guess. For me, much also depends upon the surgeon and I had confidence in both. Besides, how would I know? And if I did find out, how would I believe it (apart from the surgeon being defrocked or something)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 06:23 AM

https://www.ratemds.com


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 11:58 AM

52180- zip codes just slide off one's tongue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 12:53 PM

Dibs on 52225!!!

That's also the ZIP code for Elberon, Iowa. You probably didn't know that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 06:07 PM

No, I didn't. Nor do I care. I shall never have dibs on E1C 4L4 but without it, I would get mail very, very late.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 06:24 PM

Converting from hexadecimal to decimal, E1C is 3612. 4L4 is 1012. E1C4L4 is 57796. 57796 is not an assigned ZIP code. None of these is a prime number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 07:06 PM

WHen one lies buried under the avalanche of data for its own sake, one must run as fast as possible just to stay in the same place. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson knew this, Gautama knew this, even Harry Pa;mer knew this. But library-people just naturally drift with the cold smoke as it tumbles downslope around them, I guess--a hazard of the trade.

None of these things are a prime number, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 09:21 PM

I refer you, Amos, the "The Dialogue Above The City" passim.in Martin Buber's Daniel. Yes, it is an early work but quite interesting in itself. You see, as Pierce Butler, in his Introduction of Library Science points out, it is not the place of a librarian to interpret data, but rather to simply preserve and present it so that conclusions can be drawn from it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 10:42 PM

I 'eard you was tykin' me name in vain, Rapparee, you bloody pillock! Wot's yer problem then? Gettin' a bit tetchy, are we? You lot talk too much in my opinion. If you was livin' on MY street I'd set you all straight, I would! Bloody yanks!

- Olive Whatnoll


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 11:44 PM

Oh, I simply adore Mrs. Olive Whatnoll! Of all Little Hawk's manifestations of dissociative hysteria, she's the one I'd be least inclined to feed to an alligator if she were a real person and not a figment.

Well, actually, I wouldn't want to feed Penelope Rutledge to an alligator either. She might give the poor alligator indigestion. Better to just run her over with a steam roller.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 01:46 AM

Nice to see the colonials are carrying high the stern flame of British Civilized Conduct, yes indeed. Steam roller, indeed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 07:53 AM

Hi Mom! As you may have deduced, I have returned from the wilds of northeast Florida. In addition to participating in an art fair, my sisters an I spent two days clearing stuff out of my dad's house in preparation of selling it. (Dad's been in an assisted living facility for over a year now, and has finally admitted to himself that he's never moving back home and the house needs to be sold.) I brought home a bunch of guy stuff like tools, fishing rods, and guns*. Ironically, the one item in the household that I truly wanted to have was Dad's old pump action .22, but it could not be found. I suspect he took it outside to shoot a snake or armadillo and forgot to bring it back in. After two strokes, his memory is shot to hell. No point even asking him about it.


* The guns are not mine to keep. I'm supposed to sell them and transfer the money to Dad's bank account. If you're curious, they are a 12 ga Remington 1100 semi-automatic shotgun, a 12 ga Browning over-under, a 28 ga Browning over-under, and a S&W .38 Special revolver. I may keep the .38 to make up for the lost .22. The shotguns are pretty things, but I need them like a snake needs a walking stick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 10:25 AM

oh no not guns they are awful and the cause of all the violence and evil in the world because people are intrinsically good and nice and never did anything bad until guns came along except for that thing at montsegur and at acre and the english thing at agincourt and thessolaniki and constantinople and yangzhou and crow creek and kugluktuk and whangaroa and midianites and other things and oh no not guns they are awful


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 11:25 AM

I could tell ya a story about 20 ga Remington 1100s but I'll sum it up... rep gave 5 of em to Bro's skeet team. Started Friday eve. Saturday eve, they had enough parts to make one working gun. It may be still wrapped around a lamp post at the air base in Zweibrücken, Germany. That was back in the 60s. Yes, alcohol was involved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 04:16 PM

The Siege of Montségur refers to the nine-month siege of the Cathar-held Château de Montségur by French royal forces starting in May 1243.[1] After the Castle surrendered, about 210 perfecti and unrepentant credentes were burned in a bonfire on 16 March 1244.[Wikipedia]

The slaughter at Bloody Falls was in the 1770's, however and could easily have involved guns.

Anyway, those days are well past, and now everyone wears mittens and loves kittens and would never do anything wicked if it weren't for those terrible guns.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 05:58 PM

Session tonight! Maybe. Last one was with Amos in two Augusts past. I have lubricated. I am well oiled. I may even attempt to play an instrument or two. And even sing! I shall point out to my guest Amos' empty cigarette package and butts in the ashtray in the living room as proof that Amos actually played a house concert here. Thanks again, Amos and your cousin, for visiting. This time, it is a cousin of mine so I shant clean the house like I had to do for your fancy ass, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 06:05 PM

gnu, with those cigarette Amos left around you can do at least two things:

1. use the DNA in the saliva to clone Amos, and/or
2. do a crime (big one, worthwhile) and drop the butts at the scene so that the DNA evidence will point to Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 12:22 AM

Hey, MOM, I got more stuff planted in the garden this evening. And earlier I went for a job interview. This was the second one, a two-hour meeting with various folks. Keep your fingers crossed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 08:24 AM

Hi MOM! I haven't been around much to speak, but I have read through occasionally. Biggest thing in my life recently is that I have less then 540 days to retirement!

Not that I'm counting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 09:05 AM

Goy my fingers crossed, SRS! My eyes are kinda crossed as well this AM. Those who play must pay, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 10:03 AM

Don't, MMario. You'll be busier than ever AND you'll end up dealing with doctors, inhabiting hospitals, and trying to circumvent surgeons. Everyone will say, "Oh, he's retired so he isn't doing anything else" and even if you say NO!!! loudly and often you'll find that they are deaf.

Here's a better way: agree and make a botch of it. Then they won't ask you again and your life will be your own to do what needs to be done with the medical types (see above).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 11:01 AM

IMO, the best way to prevent the ills of retirement is to become a working artist and sell your work at art fairs. You get the advantages of retirement (basically nobody besides yourself [and your SO] telling you what to do and when to do it) and the advantages of work (basically not feeling like a useless piece of refuse). Plus, you get to travel, associate with interesting people, and play music behind your booth if business is slow. Please note that the last item only applies to those who play reasonably quiet instruments. Bagpipers and trumpeters need not apply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 12:23 PM

That's good, that you can refuse to see yourself as refuse.

Don't you love the English language?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 15 - 03:12 PM

Take refuge in the fact that you refuse to see yourself as refuse.

By the way, 52225 is mine. My parents long ago left it to me in their wills. We were poor and it was all they could leave me, their oldest and best looking and most intelligent child. My brothers got 52226 and 52227, respectively, and my sister was given 65556. So be aware that if I don't get 52225 my mommy and daddy will Wreak Havoc upon you.


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