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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 03 - 12:56 AM
CarolC 28 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM
CarolC 28 Dec 03 - 11:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM
Rustic Rebel 28 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM
Tweed 28 Dec 03 - 12:37 PM
khandu 28 Dec 03 - 12:14 AM
khandu 27 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM
catspaw49 27 Dec 03 - 09:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM
Tweed 27 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM
Amos 27 Dec 03 - 05:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM
khandu 27 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 03 - 06:20 PM
khandu 25 Dec 03 - 10:43 PM
GUEST,Walking Eagle 25 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM
Little Hawk 25 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM
Amos 25 Dec 03 - 12:30 AM
GUEST,Walking Eagle 24 Dec 03 - 11:55 PM
khandu 24 Dec 03 - 07:26 PM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 03 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 24 Dec 03 - 01:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 11:37 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 11:12 PM
khandu 23 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 10:31 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 08:40 PM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 08:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 08:02 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 11:32 AM
Tweed 23 Dec 03 - 11:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 10:15 AM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 23 Dec 03 - 06:55 AM
GUEST,William Shatner 23 Dec 03 - 12:39 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 03 - 11:45 PM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM
Amos 22 Dec 03 - 07:56 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 03 - 06:04 PM
Amos 21 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 08:52 AM

I also polish sausages. But not Vienna sausages. Those are disgusting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 12:56 AM

I hobnobbed once. Yes, indeed, I admit it. It was fun. Good, clean fun. I'd do it again, drunk or sober or somewhere in between. And I don't need no 12-step program, either.

As for your hermaphrodites -- I'm not one of the chromosonally challenged. I's XY and don't care who knows it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM

P.S. I bet it beats polishing sausages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:34 PM

Snails are hermaphrodites. There's a poem in a book of poems about nature. It's "dedicated to the lonely hermaphrodite". It goes simply:

Know Thyself


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:13 PM

Hi, folks! And starring in today's episode of "The Yet Another Example of Stupid Stuff We Haven't Talked About on the MOAB Show" (drum roll, please)....

HERMAPHRODITES!

Yes, that's right, folks! Hermaphrodites!

Why? Because "hermaphrodite" starts with the letter "H" and we haven't done "H" yet, you silly.

Oh! You mean why "hermaphrodite" instead of some other word beginning with "H". Because it's the word on the list. Duh.

Why is it on the list instead of some other "H" word? Aw, gimme a break willya? Jesus H. Christ! You guys are worse than friggin' children. Read my lips: I don't know why I picked "hermaphrodite" to be on the list. It was just the first "H" word that came into my mind. Okay?

Aw, screw this! If you guys want to have some posts about hermaphrodites, do 'em yourselves. I'm gonna go see if Joe Cartoon's put up anything new. His Christmas bit really sucked this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 01:41 PM

It is a certainty that I hob nob.
Amos has made it quite clear.
Depending on your definition,
sure, I likes me beer.
That's not all I like to consume, another fact known to all.
I like tequila, vodka and whiskey,
hell, just feed me alcohol.
When I'm hob-nobbing with my friends,
I am a jovial one indeed.
That's when the second definition results,
and ilk friends are in need.
So hob nob I does and hob-nobbing I do,
I will never deny my right.
A glass of beer, when friends are near,
I'm hob-nobbing again tonight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:37 PM

HAW BeeDub. The Ode to the Giant Sloth is a beautiful thing. I am weeping still and in my sixth reading of it. It should be a simple thing to set to music for a quartet of banjos I think....or even dulcimers. And no, Khandarz I am not a hobber of nobs....not that there's anything wrong with that of course. This is MOAB but we must remain summat PC you know. I'm certain there are plenty of nob hobbers who are just chock full of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:14 AM

A ROYAL INVITATION TO ALL MOABITES:

To honor the THIRD DUCK OF PELAHATCHIE, JOE OFFER:

WHERE? At "The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread "

WHEN?   At every opportunity!

WHY?    To show the Graciousness of the Inhabitants of MOAB!

RSVP

KING khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

But Spaw (I sense it when you are lurking! I get an erection at such times! A Massive one!!)...do you or do you not hob-nob?

Excellent idee, KOTROT Tweed! P'raps Max will be contacting us soon!!!
But Tweed...do you or do you not hob-nob??

The Exalted King khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:16 PM

Only rarely do I enjoy lurking a thread as much as posting to it, but this one has me by the balls. To see khandu's spiraling plunge into dementia is a thing to behold and I feel the nadir is but a few heartbeats away.

I also do worry about some of the rest of you when you ask stupid shit of the Stupid Shit.......like how to say MOAB. He's from Mississippi ferchrissakes!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

Oh, hell! I almost forgot. Today's entry into the "Stupid Stuff We Haven't Talked About on the MOAB" sweepstakes....

GIANT SLOTHS

Giant Sloths once roamed the plains
eating grass and other things.
Now their descendants live in trees
way up among the birds and bees.
Sloths are not giant any more.
They're sorta small and slow, for sure.

If giant sloths were still around
we could catch one and knock it down
and separate it from its skin
and bake it in a large oven.
Or chop it into litle bits
and make sloth stew. 'Twould be a hit.

Alas, they are around no more,
those Giant Sloths from days of yore,
and we will never know the taste
of Giant Sloth with bouillabaisse
or stuffed wontons served in a broth
made from leftover Giant Sloth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM

Khning Khnadnarz,
I submit and propose that this pile of crap become an entity unto itself (but within the safety of Mudcat..) and the name of this nameless entity be khnown az MOABKHAT.org. The time has come and a sorry state of mind it is developed into, nevertheless and neverthemore, this dung heap should have an address or a rural route number at the very least....

Where is Max on this issue? Can I get an amen from Joe-who-hates-birthday-threads Offer? And what haz become of KatLaughing? Why do these celebrated individuals never post here? It is because there is no address and they are unable to find their way!!

http://MOABKHAT.org!! The wave of the future where we can sit mindlessly gibbering out nonsense and the ultimate truth!

Yer servant,
Tweed, Duck of the Southern Peninsula


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 05:19 PM

I hobnob all the time, and when I hobnob, I hobnob with the best. Hobnobbing with the best is what I am about and why I come to the 'Cat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM

I've never hob-nobbed. Well, actually I have, but I didn't like it. In fact, I didn't even inhale.
Yeah, right! Sure ya didn't. I suppose you never... well... nevermind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM

Who among ye "hob-nob"? Have any the balls to admit to it?

Surely, among this group of Moabites there must be 2-3 hob-nobbers. Do not be ashamed, after all ye are already a Moabite...could being a hob-nobber be any worse?

Come...belly up & proclaim it to the world! Say it loud..."I AM A HOB-NOBBER!!" Now, go open your front door & shout it out to the neighborhood..." I'M A HOB-NOBBER & I AM DAMNED WELL PROUD OF IT!!!"

You will discover that your biggest fear was in admitting it to yourself. You will feel refreshed & renewed! To your amazement, you will also find yourself acceptable in the eyes of the Kingdom of MOAB!

YES! We Moabites are a very gracious & accepting bunch. Even the Hob-nobbers & their ilk are welcomed here!

So...Speak!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:20 PM

Christmas time for Moabites....

God help us, one and all...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:43 PM

Anyone who doesn't love it has gotta be not nuts! & who wants to hob-nob with sumboddy like that??




Well????????

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Walking Eagle
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

You gotta love this


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM

Sounds like a good advert jingle, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 12:30 AM

What will brother Joe grab?
How do those who know gab?
What makes a special show fab?
WHat deflects a low stab?
What causes excess dough flab?
MOaqb, MOab, MOab!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Walking Eagle
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 11:55 PM

Merry Christmas, MOTHER!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 07:26 PM

P'raps we should pro-ab more deeply the pronunciation of Mo-ab, but I shall not this Christmas Eve night, as I must dress for the Royal celebration! Hmmmm. . . which of my Royal ro-abs shall I wear?

A Merry one to you all, my Dear Friends!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 01:45 PM

Chongo agrees. MO-ab it is.

Go slow-AB in the MO-AB as you row-AB through the glow-AB.

MO-ab in glow-ab by the bonnie banks of Clyde
MO-ab in the glow-ab wi' ma lassie by ma side
When the sun goes doon tae rest
That's the time I love the best
Oh, it's grrreat to MO-ab in the glowwwww-ab!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 01:13 PM

MO-ab!! MO-ab!! Gotta have MO-ab!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

MOAB rhymes with Ahab
(the Captain, or the Arab).
It also rhymes with taxicab
and a Brylcreen user's little dab.

MOABites have the gift of gab
and wit that pierces with a stab.
Minds sharp and lean (no fat or flab)
that snap like pinchers on a crab.

With all these rhyming words to grab
any other way to say MOAB
would be offensive, dull and drab
and make us far less prone to blab.

Now if we pronounce MOAB "mobe"
and contemplate this lonely globe
while wearing nothing but a robe
(it's somewhat like the trials of Job).

We soon run out of words that rhyme
"mobe" just won't work most of the time.
To end the same on every line
you'll see that MOAB works just fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:37 PM

Kandu- could you please put Mo-ab to a rhyme so I can grasp your version of pronunciation. I am inclined to go the easy way out and probe the moab.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM

That was nasty, Amos.   I am gonna have to have Chongo contact some of the simian muscle-boys in your area and shake you down. No free bananas for you this Christmas, boyo!

Now I am turning this thing off and getting some sleep. Good night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:12 PM

Moe-Abh!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM

AHHHH! RR. Music to my Royal Ears! I thank thee!

She brings up a point. . . the pronunciation of MOAB! Rustic Rebel rhymed it with "probe" as though it is pronounced "Mobe".

I have ever pronounced it as "Mo-Ab".

How do the rest of you Moabites pronounce "Moab"?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:31 PM

Ps. Carol- it looks more like a camel wearing an eel shawl and doc marten boots went through your truck. Damn glad your all ok woman. You definitely had more damage than I did. I had a great outcome for my bird through window thing. I finally got some windows washed upstairs!

While I'm back here- I had to post to Tweed board the other night because I was feeling so overwhelmed with insight and inspiration and I couldn't get on the cafe for three days so thank you Tweed my bro for just being there. King Kantweedu- I did not forget to mention you while I was caught up in inspiration.the post went like this...

heard the ashes of this rebel thread, made a need inside if me to respond. I am at a loss right now, because I cannot post to the MOAB thread. So I 'll do it here because of need to be heard and it's inspirational(or not). And all I need is a choir to back me in case I become perspirational. (What the hell is that word?)
I admitt I think in terms of shit, every time I contemplate, and things are good , whenever I should... shit instead of constipate.
So where-ever I go I need to know that MOAB is a passion, and it doesn't matter how I dress, as long as it's in fashion (Ha-yeah I like that).
How-ever the time of love and joy, it is riding in the air- I'll remember the time I related my thoughts, while sitting at my computer bare.
It's funnier than hell as I proceed on this poem, that a need I have no desire to do. But it was asked, and I must respond to our faithfull King Khandu.
So I wish you a joyous Christmas day and I wish you a great holiday. I wish you great love and I wish you success and I wish you a roll in the hay.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.


ok so i was drunk again... tis the season...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM

'Tis the season to be smegma

Don't know what it means but it rhymes with zmegma. la la
'Tis the season to be jolly
grab your friends and smoke some holly. fa la
'Tis the season to be happy
I feel love, I'm feelin' sappy la fa
'Tis the season to get layed
unless your a dog that has been spayed. la la la

'Tis the season to be prancy
if your gay and you've changed your name to Nancy. fa fa
'Tis the season of the MOAB
freds have performed many a mind probe. fa la
'Tis the season for having fun
Did I tell you all I'm really a nun? Fa la la la la.....la la la la.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:40 PM

Sorry, LH, the "S" item on the list is "solar heating". Not nearly as provocative as smegma, I know. But, remember that the list is limited to things about which we've never chit-chatted here on the MOAB. With this crowd the chances of smegma not having been discussed somewhere in its 1700+ post history are pretty slim. (Sorry, but I'm not going to reread the entire thing to make certain.)
Anyway, even if we've never discussed smegma previously, now we have discussed it so it is disqualified.

Wasn't "Smegma" the name of the Gollum character in Harvard Lampoon's LOTR parody Bored of the Rings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM

Little Hawk:

In your case, it is too late.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:04 PM

So, when do we get to hear all about smegma?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:02 PM

Yes, folks! Once again it's time for our daily installment of "Bee-dubya's stupid list of crap we've never talked about on the MOAB"!

Today's installment:

FOOTWEAR

In the summer I wear cheap rubber flip-flops. The rest of the time I wear Doc Marten boots. I've been wearing Doc Martens for ten or twelve years and am only on my second pair. They aren't cheap, but they sure do last. Cheap rubber flip-flops, on the other hand, don't last for shit, but who cares when they only cost a buck a pair?

Only twenty more exciting episodes to go!


BTW, this list is going on its Christmas hiatus for three or four days.

Happy first MOAB Christmas! May there be many more to come.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:32 AM

Yeah? I've got a better link than that! Go to...

* * * THE COMPLEAT APE-ENGLISH DICTIONARY * * * at...

http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~stephan/Tarzan/tarzan.dict.html

Street-ape patios is a big feature in any Chongo Chimp story, and it's all here! Edgar Rice Burroughs is the one human being that all apes truly respect and revere, kind of like the Chinese feel about Norman Bethune (the Canadian doctor)...or the Apaches did about the army scout, Al Sieber.

George


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:20 AM

You habv showed grate restrante BDubz and shuld get a reward ob some sort or other. Tharfore I gibv undo you this link to the best danged Cajun and Zydeco station on the earth.

KBON RADIO FROM EUNICE, LOUISIANA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:15 AM

I'm not going to post an absolutely gratuitous, pointless, nothing-to-say message just to get to post #1700. Nope! Not gonna do it. Not me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:27 AM

Slashdot cubed? Go down three directories? WTFO??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 06:55 AM

/. /. /.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:39 AM

You realize that in just a few more posts I will chime in again, just to let you all know who is still really in charge here on the bridge of Starship "Get A Life"...

Actually...I don't have to now, do I? (grin)

Beam me up, Mr Scott. Our work here is done...at least until the next episode begins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 11:45 PM

Speaking of P.R., haven't heard from the poor dear in a few. Hope she didn't get her knickers in a wad. Wait! Let me rephrase that... Hope she didn't get her knickers in a bigger wad than the one they're usually in. There. That's better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM

Nailing an eel to a tree is a slippery proposition, not for the faint of heart, but I don't doubt that Penelope Rutledge would be capable of it if the eel gave significant offense to her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Without further ado....

EELS

Americans do not eat eels. Europeans do eat eels. Many Americans do eat catfish. I don't know if Europeans eat catfish or not. I imagine they do. Anybody that would voluntarilly eat an eel shouldn't have any problem with a catfish.

One of my favorite fiddle tunes is "Nail That Catfish to the Tree". I doubt it would have the same appeal if it was called "Nail That Eel to the Tree".

To fish for eels is to sniggle and a person who fishes for eels is a sniggler. This is good to know if you do a lot of crossword puzzles. It is also a seven-letter word in Scrabble which will get you an extra fifty points.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 07:56 PM

I always suspected Rapaire was a scopolapsist, and now he has confessed. That means he thinks the whole world is caused to exist by motion sickness. This philosophy is spreading rapidly because it touches a chord in many people, for some reason, but I do not trust it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 06:04 PM

Freshmeat, redmeat...it's all Linux to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM

Red Meat is a long-term rap by a really ellipsoidal mind. I love 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM

The Karen and Milkman Dan episodes may just be the sickest running joke routine in what is an amazingly sick comic strip, Khandu. Gotta love it, eh? :-) Bug-eyed Earl is pretty weird too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM

Heck,why not?? Here's another!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM

See! I was Right About the Manatee!!

& I will be proven right about the damned cats!!!!

Kk


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