Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Jun 03 - 10:29 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 03 - 07:33 PM
McGrath of Harlow 26 Jun 03 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 03 - 06:43 PM
Amos 26 Jun 03 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 03 - 10:32 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 03 - 09:39 PM
Tweed 25 Jun 03 - 07:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jun 03 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 03 - 05:37 PM
Tweed 24 Jun 03 - 10:53 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 03 - 08:47 PM
Amos 24 Jun 03 - 08:02 PM
catspaw49 24 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jun 03 - 07:23 PM
CarolC 24 Jun 03 - 07:19 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 03 - 06:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jun 03 - 06:19 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 03 - 05:39 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 03 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 03 - 04:00 PM
CarolC 24 Jun 03 - 10:11 AM
Amos 24 Jun 03 - 08:52 AM
MMario 24 Jun 03 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 03 - 08:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jun 03 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 03 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 03 - 03:19 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jun 03 - 10:53 AM
CarolC 23 Jun 03 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 03 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jun 03 - 02:53 AM
Amos 23 Jun 03 - 12:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jun 03 - 11:44 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 03 - 11:40 PM
CarolC 22 Jun 03 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 03 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 03 - 11:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 03 - 11:08 PM
Amos 21 Jun 03 - 11:29 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 03 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 21 Jun 03 - 10:00 AM
CarolC 21 Jun 03 - 09:19 AM
Amos 21 Jun 03 - 12:57 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 03 - 12:23 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 03 - 02:34 PM
MMario 20 Jun 03 - 11:02 AM
Amos 20 Jun 03 - 10:51 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 03 - 09:25 AM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 03 - 09:03 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 10:29 PM

Forget Heaven then, and Purgatory (beer'd probably be warm anyway), and Hell (probably only have Budweiser cold).

Is Valhalla still open for business? Or Tir nA nOg?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 07:33 PM

I sort of doubt that you can drink beer in purgatory. You can probably simulate doing so in the Astral, however. As for heaven, there are probably many different heavens, so maybe you can simulate it in some of them too. But why would you want to? (just joking...I happen not to like beer very much at all)

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 07:11 PM

In Heaven you are supposed to have a Glorified Body, which would mean Glorified Farts presumably. All part of the Heavenly Choir.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 06:43 PM

I'm sorry, I forgot a Basic Truth. There cannot be physical bodies in Heaven and LH is completely correct. For if music is Truth, then we must all become reconciled that in Heaven there is no beer, since beer would require physical bodies for its enjoyment.

Hmmm..."Heaven for the climate and Hell for the company." Limbo's out, but Purgatory is still in. LH, can you drink beer in purgatory?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 10:41 AM

"All the better Christian churches"???? What's that supposed to mean!!? Anyway, reconciling one's metaphysical beliefs with those taught in such places is an exercise in futility, for the most part. LH is quite entitled to invent his OWN religion.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 10:32 AM

"You can't fart in heaven because you don't have a physical body there,"

LH, how do you reconcile this with the doctrine (taught by all the better Christian churches) of the resurrection of the body?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 09:39 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake! You can't fart in heaven because you don't have a physical body there, and lack an intestinal tract there, ya goof! You can't fart in the Astral Worlds either...but I suppose you could simulate a fart there if you wanted to. There are probably mischievous souls who do just that, complete with horrendous sound effects. Just like teenage boys in libraries and study halls...

Now if Spaw went to hell...well, I hate to think what might happen! It might result in the biggest volcanic eruption of all time.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 07:48 PM

REFRESH,REFRESH,REFRESH!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 07:42 PM

Little Hawk! Sorry, bub, but you're dead wrong about the "you can't fart in heaven" thing! You can fart all you want to! The thing is nobody minds if you fart in heaven because heavenly farts don't stink! They smell like whatever you want them to! Roses, Grandma's apple pie, you name it. They just can't smell like anything stinky. Stink is not allowed in heaven. Farting, yes. Stinking, no. So, you get all the fun of farting without everybody knowing that you ate Chinese food for lunch.

I'm sure Spaw will enjoy the experience when the time comes. A fart that smells like the interior of a brand new 1956 MG would probably be fun.

Bruce


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 05:37 PM

Refresh. Oh God, please refresh!!! After what Spaw did, refresh!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 10:53 PM

Dammit that's a great fart Spaw. Brown letters and all...jeezus, light a match BeeDub willya?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:47 PM

He's got to make up for the time remaining...you can't fart in heaven!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:02 PM

Ya gotta love a guy who is always being so helpful. Just don't invite him to sleep in your bedroom -- you could wake up dead!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM

Just thought I'd drop by for a quick fart to help boost this thing along..........

BBBRRRAAAAWWWWMMMPPP

...........ahhhhh.....good one.........**whiff--whiff**......whoa!...

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 07:23 PM

But, Rap, it wuz you! Gawd! Watta buncha ˝-wits we iz! Fupped duck another milestone! Lessee if we kin do #700 th' right way! Okay?

Only 399 posts left 'til 1000!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 07:19 PM

Wadn't me.

So you're saying, Carol, that we should just enforce the laws we already have on the books?

Goodness, I certainly hope not. Or I might have to start an accordion civil-disobedience movement. And that might hurt.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 06:28 PM

And it ain't gonna be me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 06:19 PM

Well, it ain't gonna be me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 05:39 PM

Closer...closer...closer... (biting fingernails)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 05:35 PM

Lurching, staggering, and blathering, the Mother of all BS threads makes it way tenaciously toward 600!!!

Stay tuned for the magic moment! Who will make the 600th pointless posting?

Talk about suspense...

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 04:00 PM

So you're saying, Carol, that we should just enforce the laws we already have on the books?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 10:11 AM

In short, the PLLF will inspire such draconian laws as are now applied to banjos.

No, those laws were put into effect for accordions after Lawrence Welk single-handedly destroyed the social lives of 45 percent of adolescents in the US back in the 1950s and 1960s, when their parents forced them to learn to play the accordion just like him.

But I've been working hard to reverse that trend, rather insidiously if I do say so myself. A little semi-nakedness along with clever product placement can accomplish the near-impossible.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:52 AM

Practice, practice and more practice, MM. It's all in the wrist....


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:41 AM

accio socks!

Sorry - doesn't seem to have worked....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:38 AM

LH, for some reason I can't find the socks I was knocked out of.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 04:16 PM

Yes, the "What Price Truth?" thread has shocked and stunned my easilly shocked and stunned self by positing that Jesus may have been just a myth! First non-polka-playing-accordianinsts and now Jesus-was-only-a-myth! I feel my whole world view crumbling. The paradigms are shifting like the San Andreas fault would shift if someone were to pump a couple billion barrels of WD-40 into it.

Slippin' annuh slidin'....

BWL (Babbling Wigged-out Lunatic)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 03:21 PM

Actually, LH, I did check out the "What Price Truth?" thread.

The price of truth is exactly equal to Tunesmith's IQ, in Canadian dollars.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 03:19 PM

In short, the PLLF will inspire such draconian laws as are now applied to banjos.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 10:53 AM

Be alert, people! Some fool who goes by the moniker of "tunesmith" is inadvertently launching threads with even more humorous potential than this one, and he's apparently being dead serious when he does it! Check out "What Price the Truth!" for more shocking revelations that will simply knock you out of your socks or reduce you to helpless laughter...

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 10:26 AM

I thought accordions were only for playing waltzes, slow aires, and laments.

CarolC, NPPA (Non-Polka Playing Accordionista)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 09:41 AM

But...but...what will my Aunt Dorothy do? Will all of the polka lovers form guerilla bands? There will be an upswing in polka related violence as accordion players are kidnaped and forced to learn polkas. Once so brain-washed they will stay with the polka lovers (PLLF, pronounced as it sounds and an abbreviation for the Polka Lovers Liberation Front). Soon the PLLF will have a corner on the accordionist market and will turn them against decent folk. There will be polka suicides, where an accordionist will innocently enter a restaurant or school and then suddenly whip out an accordion and play a polka!

Accordion detectors will appear at the doors of every school and airport. A three century waiting period will be enacted for anyone wanting the purchase an accordion. Eventually all accordions will be confiscated by The Authorities, but they will still get into the hands of the PLLF. Crudely made ones, dangerous to use, will appear. People will sneak off to visit the back-alley accordionist. News of raids will appear in the paper: "Cops Bust PLLF Stonghold; Sieze Thousands Of Recordings."

Eventually we will go to war with Poland and Hungary so that we can tear out this terror by its roots. The mastermind behind the terror, the secretive Seldom Iz-Seen, will flee, hiding at wedding receptions across the American Middle West. He will finally be taken in either Minnesota or one of the Dakotas, unrepentant and clutching his prized recording of "Beer Barrel Polka." Sentenced to death ("...to be taken to the place of execution and there made to listen to The Blues until you are dead, and may God have mercy on your soul..."), his execution will trigger a new wave of PLLF violence.

And you, bee etc., will be personally responsible for plunging the world into a new age of terror.

Have a nice day!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 02:53 AM

Amos! You're an absolute genius for seeing the potential of the non-polka-playing-accordianist (NPPA) as a weapon of mass confusion! Just imagine! When Dumbya gets ready for his next pre-emptive strike, instead of a half-million troops he can send in a few dozen NPPA's. The citizenry of the invaded country will flock toward the NPPA's with the intention of stoning them to death for playing polkas. But they won't play polkas! So as the accordianists stroll through the countryside the crowds around them will get larger and larger. Sort of like the Pied Piper only the crowds aren't really attracted to the music - they're attracted to the bloodlust that will ensue when a polka gets played. But no polkas will be played! Before long every man, woman, child, soldier, shiek, cleric and despotic ruler will be following the NPPA's around just waiting for that polka. But finally, somewhere out in the desert, the crowds will come to the realization that no polkas are going to be played! They will realize that not all accordianists play polkas! Their worlds will be turned upside down! They will renounce militant Islam or Rabid Zionism or Snake-handling Christianity or Crass Materialism or whatever other insanity afflicts them and will all become accordian players. And they will not play polkas because you don't have to play polkas to play accordian! Wow! World peace through no polkas! So simple yet so elegant.

BWL (Currently an abbreviation for "Boy! Whatta Looney!")


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 12:08 AM

Why Carol -- you've established the non-polka as a weapon of mass confusion!! Well done!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jun 03 - 11:44 PM

WHAT??? NO POLKAS???

BUT YOU PLAY ACCORDIAN!


Accordian players widdout polkas iz like grits widdout eggs! It's like Mudcat widdout BS!

I repeat,

WHAT??? NO POLKAS???

I'm very confused! I think you've just fundamentally re-arranged my entire concept of reality. I'm going to go lie down now.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 03 - 11:40 PM

Larry Polka and his wife, Jan, used to live down the street from me when I was growing up. Used to play games with his son, Bill.

They were Irish, from Killorgan. The town was called that after an incident in the Cromwellian Wars, when the townspeople converted the church's instrument into a weapon of war. It would fire over a hundred projectiles at once by compressed air, and the rate of fire could be adjusted so that it would, at the same time, play Bach, hymns, or popular tunes of the day. Legend has it that it played Handel's "Water Music"* while it sank an entire fleet of Cromwell's that had been sent to circumvent the Irish forces. The weapon would have revolutionized warfare, but it failed because Organ Pumpers Local 386 AF of L/CIO went on strike for longer hours and lower pay, which permitted Cromwell's men to either burn the town of Killorgan and ravish the locals or vice-versa. In either case, arson or ravishment, the locals were closed and townspeople were deprived of Guinness.

This was considered the worst atrocity Cromwell's forces ever committed on Irish soil, and they did some pretty darn good ones.

I have their address somewhere if you'd like to write to them.



*Which hadn't been written yet. Some think that G. F. Handel might have heard the tune at this time.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Jun 03 - 10:56 PM

I don't know any Polkas.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 03 - 07:52 PM

No, no! This thread cannot be destined for the oblivion of no one posting to it in 24 hours! No, I say! It shall NOT be! Never will the name of the Great State of Arkansas be so slighted, so slandered, so mud-bedraggled! I say NO! And I know that all true blooded people will join me in saying NO! to those who would so profane the name of the Fair State of Arkansas! Wait...this is MOAB, not Arkansas. Forget that I said anything, okay?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 11:47 PM

My Aunt Dorothy used to love to dance like that -- we called her "Polka Dot."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 11:08 PM

Well, gee, CarolC! Sad to hear you won't be able to make the Thursday night session. Since you won't be there I'm not going to mention that, in addition to the usual jigs, reels and hornpipes we'll probably play a bunch of Irish POLKAS. And, since there will already be a couple of excellent squeezers there, I'm sure we won't miss you while we're playing all those POLKAS.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 11:29 AM

And in other ways, as well....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 10:48 AM

This sounds good, Carol, and I'm sure you will run into Bill somewhere. He's like mildew...omnipresent.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 10:00 AM

CarolC, I certainly hope you're charging them plenty to have their picture taken with you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: Circus Time!
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 09:19 AM

So we'll be taking the Polka Circus on the road soon. Circus season is upon us. It looks like we'll be in Bee-dubya-ell's neck o' the woods around the 4th of July (but probably not in time for the jam session on the beach).

Then we'll be headed up to Michigan for several weeks (Detroit area), with a (relatively) short trip to the Chicago/southern Wisconsin area sometime in early August, then back to Michigan. We'll be making several trips up into Ontario while we're in Michigan.

We'll be on the lookout for people like my new friends, Bill Shatner and Elvis, along the way. If we find any, I'll post the pictures here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 12:57 AM

LITTLE HAWK

THIS THREAD IS AN AUTHORITARIAN IDEOLOGICAL EMPIRE!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 12:23 AM

Got Milk? (obscure Liberty Meadows reference)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 03 - 02:34 PM

Ooooo...that's just tewwible! Don't even twy saying it.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 03 - 11:02 AM

And if Elmer Fudd were Announcing it it would be the Twain-TwittTwenton-Twitty-Twibute-Too-wa


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 03 - 10:51 AM

"The Twain-Tritt Trenton Twitty Tribute Tour."

You have entirely too much time on your hands!!! ROFLMAO!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 03 - 09:25 AM

Good morning!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 09:03 PM

Oh, He will, Tweed. He will.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 18 October 10:47 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.