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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Tweed 08 May 03 - 11:12 PM
CarolC 08 May 03 - 11:05 PM
Tweed 08 May 03 - 10:56 PM
khandu 08 May 03 - 10:22 PM
Amos 08 May 03 - 10:10 PM
khandu 08 May 03 - 09:53 PM
Amos 08 May 03 - 09:46 PM
khandu 08 May 03 - 09:10 PM
khandu 08 May 03 - 08:55 PM
catspaw49 08 May 03 - 08:04 PM
Tweed 08 May 03 - 07:54 PM
Joe Offer 08 May 03 - 07:42 PM
Tweed 08 May 03 - 05:07 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 08 May 03 - 05:03 PM
CarolC 08 May 03 - 03:25 PM
artbrooks 08 May 03 - 03:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 May 03 - 02:51 PM
Bill D 08 May 03 - 12:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 May 03 - 12:32 PM
Bill D 08 May 03 - 12:21 PM
CarolC 08 May 03 - 11:44 AM
MMario 08 May 03 - 08:38 AM
gnu 08 May 03 - 07:14 AM
catspaw49 07 May 03 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 07 May 03 - 11:25 PM
khandu 07 May 03 - 11:05 PM
khandu 07 May 03 - 10:53 PM
CarolC 07 May 03 - 10:52 PM
CarolC 07 May 03 - 10:50 PM
Bill D 07 May 03 - 10:34 PM
Little Hawk 07 May 03 - 10:34 PM
Rustic Rebel 07 May 03 - 10:23 PM
Rustic Rebel 07 May 03 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 May 03 - 10:17 PM
khandu 07 May 03 - 09:55 PM
khandu 07 May 03 - 09:48 PM
Rustic Rebel 07 May 03 - 09:44 PM
khandu 07 May 03 - 09:22 PM
Little Hawk 07 May 03 - 06:15 PM
Bill D 07 May 03 - 02:42 PM
MMario 07 May 03 - 01:36 PM
Little Hawk 07 May 03 - 01:24 PM
Tweed 07 May 03 - 10:18 AM
Little Hawk 07 May 03 - 09:53 AM
MMario 07 May 03 - 09:45 AM
artbrooks 07 May 03 - 09:37 AM
CarolC 07 May 03 - 09:33 AM
Liz the Squeak 07 May 03 - 04:38 AM
khandu 07 May 03 - 12:32 AM
khandu 07 May 03 - 12:18 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:12 PM

My Queen,
I habv destermined frum yore latest despondence thet it iz yore desire to acquire huge numbers of shoes. Thar fore I sail for Taiwan with the tide and will bring as much as the johnboat will hold.

I yam obv corse, at yore beck and call. Say the word an' we hide our armys in a thousand green outhouses and set them before the gates obv Mizippi. Khandu will be hard pressed to refuse a gift ob a thousand shithouses and bring them inside. Mizippi and all it's treasures will be yore's O Queen of Squeeze!

Yore servent,
Tweed
Coot desCootz


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:05 PM

Ohhhh... Tweed. You don't want to be my subject. I can't do the having subjects thing. I'll be too tempted by power, and you know what they say about power. It would be terrible, like Imelda Marcos of the accordions... imagine how horrible that would be! Please, if you are my friend, you won't put this temptation before me...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 May 03 - 10:56 PM

The accordian is the instrument of real royalty as everyone knows. In fact, Charlemagne was an avid accordianist as were all the Louis's I-XIV.

Enjoy this charade while you can khandu khing obv Mizippi. You pass out these worthless appointments like beads at Mardi Grass. I for one will follow the sweet sound of Queen CarolC in full ululation and wonder how others are able to resist her call.

Yerz,
Tweed
Duc d'Aujus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 May 03 - 10:22 PM

telecommute all you want, Minister Amos de la Jessup

Hear ye, all. By command of khandu, King of Mississippi, Amos shall henceforth be called the Royal Mississippi Minister of Golden Tongued Double Talk, and shall be awarded all honor and respect due his Royal Position.And, at any time, upon his entrance into the Kingdom of Mississippi, he shall be served by the Royal subjects to his need.

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 03 - 10:10 PM

Only if I can telecommute, your Marjesty....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:53 PM

You know, I don't know what the boy just said, but, by Gawd, he did say it quite eloquently!

Amos, would you like to be the Mississippi Minister of Double-talk, you smooth-mouthed wizard?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:46 PM

Right -- Joe Offer is not a green monster. Glad we got that cleared up. As to the many things that Khandu is not, do not let us begin, dear friends, for well begun would be half done, as the old wives would have it, and the wits of Khandu could not bear to be half-done, knitted as they are to a fare-thee-well.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:10 PM

I have been barraged with questions about the word "igmo". Many have asked, "So Joe Offer is no igmo; exactly what is it he isn't?"

I am happy to be of help to my fellow citizens of planet earth. However, you could have just as easily asked Little Hawk, I am certain he would have given you exactly the same info that I now offer.

"Igmo" is a word coined by the great, late Harry Lee Wigley (whom I knew personally!). He developed the use of the word to honor TV actor and strongman, Luther Igmo, who played as a strange green monster in a 1970's TV show.

The actual meaning of the word is "a dullard, one who is mentally sluggish, a stupid or bovine person."

Of course, Mr. Wigley was not using it in reference to Luther Igmo, instead he referred to the monster that Igmo played on TV.

Therefore, you now know exactly what it is Joe Offer isn't!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:55 PM

So much to handle...
I am agog...agog, I say, Carol the Sailor! Congrats to you, my RPITA! None could be more deserving.

Little Hawk, I fully understand and appreciate your position. I accept your fine refusal.

artbrooks, my apologies for having failed to put you on the candidate list. Consider yourself included! I hope to find a fitting position for you soon!

KNOWER OF THINGS...an excellent autobiography it is! It is quite exciting and extremely interesting. I was on the edge of my throne as I read it! It is a real page-turner!

Bill D...your last post is glorious BS, perhaps you shall gain position in my Royal Command!

MS Penelope Rutledge, who I am sure is really Tweed incognito, tell the Punch crew...tell everyone! After all, this is:

THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!!

Spaw, dear Spaw who worked so hard to save the King's sanity (and succedded grandly!!!), I would happily appoint you to an exalted position, however, there are some issues which must be resolved.

Tweed, you stinky Floridian turncoat...did you forget one major flaw in your Carol the Sailor???? She plays the accordian!!!! And she has been known to osculate, followed by sudden, uncontrolable ululation!

The King is joyful at the exceedingly grand responses to this thread! (sob...sniff sniff...) I am moved to tears by all of you who have helped this thread become the wonder it is today! Because of YOU this is truly living up to the name:

THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!!!!

To Joe Offer, who is no igmo, you need not worship at anyone's feet. You are a Duck. Ducks do not grovel! Lift your head high and say aloud, "I am Third Duck of Pelahatchie, Mississippi and I am Proud!...I am not an igmo!".

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:04 PM

Naw Joe, just hang out here with us on the Mother of BS or over at my non-birthday thread which has been determined to be the Father. As far as Hawk goes, just ignore the pissant little, fockin' broke-dick, Mamalucca. He can't even get a position in te Kingdom as Second Magnolia Copulator. Maybe khandu will give him the Third or Fourth......

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 May 03 - 07:54 PM

Joe Offer.....why in the hail wuld you worship at the feet obv Liddle Harg when Queen Carol the SailorGal iz the oblivous choice? Really...habv the insaniac khingkhandu polluted yore well ordered mind wif hiz smarming and mewling?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 May 03 - 07:42 PM

Thanks to Little Hawk, there is a special, dedicated thread for pusillanimous-PEW-sil-AN'-e-mus (click).

Does this mean I have to worship at the feet of Little Hawk, too?

-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 May 03 - 05:07 PM

O goddammit...Iz not Carol the Sailorgal the mos beeyutifull queen there culd be. I yam renouncin' all ties wif the corrupted Khingdom obv Mizippi and lay my miserable self at yore feet. O my Queen..which palace would you have me to begin wif? I wod dip them all clean wif a 2 lb coffee can ef it wudde please yore Majesty.

Yerz,
Tweedzrzz
1st Commodore Navy obv Orillia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 08 May 03 - 05:03 PM

It's odd that the lads from Punch the Horse haven't jumped all over this thread in absolute glee. I shall have to alert them. It's the kind of thing they simply can't resist.

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:25 PM

Bill D., it's an honourary key in much the same way that a key to the town hall, when presented to someone who is being honored, is an honorary key. But people who aren't awarded the keys to town halls and, in this case, the municipal porta-potty, can still get into them without the key during regular business hours.

BWL (etc. etc. etc.), I was awarded the title by virtue of being the first person ever to write a limerick about Orillia, the "Limerick Capitol of the World", and home of Stephen Leacock, the world renowned "Limerick King".

I went to Orillia on a month-and-a-half long McGillgrimage, where I was graciously hosted by some of Orilia's finest citizens who showed me a really good time, and then I was crowned Ms McGill, and presented with the key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:21 PM

Wa'ul shee'it, Bee-dubya-ell...if'n thet SOB ain't gonna make me sumkinna oskifer in his orginizashun, Ah'll be dam'd if'n Ah cares 'bout no dam Poit Lariet...go bek'n fil in the sex, drugs an drinkin' parts...on secund thot, leeve out the drugs...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 May 03 - 02:51 PM

Dear King khandu,

Ah jus' wanted Yer Lordship t' know that Ah hab revized ma autobiography t' reflect th' honorarities Yer Majesty habs so recently bestowed upon ma humbel self. It now reeds:

1951 - I'ze borned. Ah don' remember much 'bout it. Ah heared thet Ah wuz ugly and thet ma Daddy wanted t' pinch ma head off but ma Mamma hit him wid a skillet insted.

1952 -1970 - Ah were a chile. It were boring. Ah habs no ideal how thet chile grew up t' be me.

1971 - 2000 - Ah tried t' be a responsibal adult. Ah failed. Somewhere 'long in there Ah learned t' play th' geetar. Thet did not help much wid th' responsibal part.

2000 - Ah discobvered th' "Mudcat Cafe". Ma life started t' go downhill.

2003 - Khandu, King of All Mississippi habs named ma humbel self Royal Poet Lariat of Mississippi and Knower of Things. Duz this mean that if'n Ah dies tomorrow Ah'll die happy? No, but Ah will hab lived longer than Jerry Garcia did.

PS: T' hab room t' squeeze in th' last part Ah had t' take out th' stuff 'bout th' drugs n' alkihol n' sex n' stuff. Hope thet's OK.

Your Humbel Survent,

BWL-RPLOM-KOT


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 03 - 12:33 PM

....and, it doth bemuse me that the only post which is truly NOT BS, has been acclaimed pure BS! Have any of you looked up the dire situation of the Ogalalah aquifer?

oh...wait...perhaps the serendipitous juxtiposition of the competing claims to the position in the heirarchy of purity constitute a new category of META-BS! In which case I withdraw my admonition to ignore the original statement...(which probably negates the entire BS-ness of the exercise, which leaves our King in the position of having to wade through the strained logic of one of his non-subjects in order to rule on the status...or ignore it entirely...your call, your Majesty.)


HUH?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 May 03 - 12:32 PM

Wow RPIA! We are stunned, shocked and awed! Are those shots from thes swimsuit or evening gown competition? So, who got Miss Congeniality? Did you have to answer one of those tricky beauty pageant questions like, "If you were standing in shit up to your neck and somebody threw a bucket if puke at you, would you duck?"

BWL-RPLOM-KOT


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 03 - 12:21 PM

well! a great honor indeed!...but......I wasn't aware porta-potties NEEDED keys....pray tell, what happens to everyone without one?
Does only one person a year get a key? And is part of the honor standing guard to unlock the 'facility' for others? Enquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:44 AM

I've been waiting for just the right moment and context for posting this. It's taken more than two years, but yesterday, in a moment of epiphany, I realized that this is it! The moment I, and the rest of the Mudcat (*) have been waiting for since March of 2001. So without further fanfare, I give you:

Susie McGill crowns CarolC Ms. McGill 2001, and presents her with the key to the Orillia Municipal Porta-Potty

(*or maybe just a couple of you)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:38 AM

SEVEN WEEKS? LH? - they taught that at Cornell in one 15 minute lab!

The tough course was Chicken hypnotism!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 03 - 07:14 AM

HEY CC.... wakey wakey.... time to get up and post the big surprise. I think I know what it is and I can't wait to see if I'm right. C'mon c'mon... forget the OJ, spit it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 May 03 - 11:43 PM

Look LH, you got too much on your plate....and it's a damn small plate....so let me help you out so you can be appointed as Second Magnolia Copulator in the Kingdom. Here's what you do......

Have Winona Ryder go out and steal all of the frozen horse semen and then she and Shatner can ride off into space on the next Orillian Crop Circle making UFO that comes along on the hunt of Major Tom the psychotic astronaut so they can start a new race of Centaurs at Starbase Cuba Cubed.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 11:25 PM

I must implore, nay demand, that I not be appointed to any glorious post here. Why? Well, because I am too busy already, that's why. Being William Shatner's foremost North American proponent, for one thing, carries a lot of weight. Am I up to the task? Well, yes, but it's consuming a great deal of my time and energy. Then there's my pursuit (ongoing) of Winona Ryder, which is consuming almost as much. Then there's my attempt to qualify as a chicken sexer...it's a seven week course, and I'm in the 3rd week.

If I take on any more responsibilities at this point I am afraid that I may suffer a teleological breakdown and lapse into babbling, incoherent gibberish and be taken for a fool. This could derail my normal activities.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 11:05 PM

Carol the Sailor has been a Royal delight for my whole time at Mudcat. And now, she honors me with a surprise that she chooses to post on this thread! It is true that her position at the Polka Circus is one of Glorious Importance, and I can understand her humility in asking that I do not grant her Honor, which shows me that she is worthy of Royal Honor.
Oooooo, another announcement shall be made:

Hear Ye, all. Carol C the Sailor is hereby honored by khandu, King of Mississippi as the Royal Pain in the Arse. She shall posthaste and henceforth be given all honor and respect worthy of the title, by command of khandu, King of Mississippi.

As the creator of this thread, I, and I alone, am authorized to call business "BS" and/or BS "Business". Therefore, none shall be qualified to question my authority.

As an example, I deem Bill D's "aquafier" post to be pure, undefiled BS!

I do look forward to your (Carol C) posting tomorrow!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:53 PM

NONONO, LH! The question was asked in this thread! It remained unanswered in this thread I spoke only to those who ignored him in this thread...except for you, of course, since I was aware that you had already published the pronunciation in the other thread!

bee-dubya-ell-the KNOWER OF THINGS was the Excellent choice for his position. His magnanimity is befitting his position. He is worthy of honor!

Rustic Rebel, I appreciate the quick response to my request. I believe that I have made yet another fine chioce.

An important announcement shall follow:

Hear ye, all. Rustic Rebel has proven herself worthy of the King's notice and of his benediction and benefaction. She is hereby named, by khandu, King of Mississippi, the ROYAL POETESS-LARIAT of the KINGDOM of MISSISSIPPI an shall be given all honors and respect due her Royal Standing, by command of khandu, King of Mississippi.

To refresh memories, my chosen are:

Sir Tweed-Knight of the Realm of Tupelo, First Duck and Coote D'Jour
bee-dubya-ell-Royal Poet Lariat and KNOWER OF THINGS
Rustic Rebel-Royal Poetess-Lariat
Joe Offer-Third Duck of Pelahatchie

Candidates for future honors (in no particular order):
Allan C.
Little Hawk
Bobert

More can/will be added as they prove themselves worthy.

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:52 PM

P.S. I don't want any jobs please (thank you very much), but I will be posting a surprise tomorrow. It's a big surprise that I've been waiting two years to present to the people here in the Mudcat. And I'm going to do it on your thread.

But don't give me any jobs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:50 PM

I think the appointing of positions and jobs and sucking up to Joe Offer is not BS either, come to think of it, Bill D.

khandu, you have been conducting serious business in this thread. In fact, most of your posts to this thread have been serious business. I think there must be some sort of dereliction of duty or something that's going on here. We need an inquiry!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:34 PM

The Ogalalah aquifer is in big trouble......wait...that's NOT BS!

please ignore the above


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:34 PM

It so happens that I already had posted the pronunciation of pusillanimous on the thread devoted to that glorious word! I think King Khandu is becoming besotted with power and losing sight of the finer points here...

Hubris is a terrible thing.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:23 PM

Now that will show you how wise and wonderous Bee-dubya-ell Royal Poet Lariat of Mississippi is. He answered before I questioned. King Khandu you choose wisely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:18 PM

With great honor and only through permission from Bee-dubya-ell Royal Poet Lariat of Mississippi and Knower of Things, do I accept such a fine title as Poetess-Lariat. I await the word, oh, Knower of things, with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes and a bone in my nose-ho-ho


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:17 PM

Let all who praise khandu, King of all Mississippi benefit from his benevolence. And anybody that likes to dance at concerts is okay by me anyway. Boogie down, Rustic Rebel.

I'd do somethin' poetic, but I gotta go fix a light switch.

BWLRPLOM-KOT


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:55 PM

MY GAWD!!! I only wish I had a place for two Royal Poet-Lariats of Mississippi! Rustic Rebel, the dearie, has proven herself worthy of higher things with her wonderful poetic endeavor!

Hmmmm....maybe a Poetess-Lariat Why not? Heck, I am King! I can creat such an office if I choose. But first, I must consult with the worthy one, Rustic Rebel, and consider her wishes.

And, I must allow input by bee-dubya-ell...the KNOWER OF THINGS. Since he is the Royal Poet-Lariat, I shall consider his thoughts on the matter.

My ears are open to your responses, R.R. and the KNOWER OF THINGS!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:48 PM

None of you showed any respect to Joe Offer when he posted to this thread. He went completely ignored. I waited all this time to see if anyone would respond to him. Alas, you did not. I am saddened.

Don't know of what I speak? Let me refresh your short-term memories.


Yeah, but how do you pronounce "pusillanimous"?
Inquiring minds want to know.
-Joe Offer-


So, Joe, on behalf of these miscreants and plebians who have ignored you, I offer my heart-felt apologies. And, to atone for their peccadillo, I give you this:

pusillanimous-PEW-sil-AN'-e-mus

Many make the mistake of saying "PUSsy-LAN'-e-mus". Do not make this mistake. It will mark you as a igmo.

And Joe Offer, Sir, is NO IGMO!!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:44 PM

The mother of all threads, that's what King K. said,
trying hard to perpetuate a scene.
To behave, is simply a jesterly thing, and the situation close to obscene.
King K. proclaimed that the thread will be, nothing less than purlieu.
Start it and they will come, and leave as quickly when they read it through.
To come here with anything less than bullshit, would be a subject of a different matter,
This would be an outrage, an act of defiance, the King will have your head on a platter.
So listen to your head, and this bullshit thread,
and let the words flow from your hearts
King K's thread is here stay , and for ever a place for Spaws farts.
The End.
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:22 PM

One of the most bothersome things I know of is harrassing phone calls.
Ther is one that I can expect, regular as clockwork. Once a month, about this time of month, it comes. It came last evening.

Bob Dylan gets drunk, finds an old friend and calls me. This month, his old friend is Clint Eastwood. They were both sloppy, greass-grabbibg, ass-slapping drunk.

It is hard to understand Dylan's speech even when he is sober. When he is drunk, it is nearly impossible. It is hard to follow his train of thought when he is sober. He has none when he is drunk.

Clint is almost as bad.

Finally, after an hour, I understood what they were trying to say. They had written a new song and wanted my opinion.

It was "Call and Response". Dylan would "call", Clint would respond.

"Well, I'm gonna do something big and special"
"Go ahead, Make my day"
What it is, you'll never guessial"
(Yes, he rhymed "special" with "guess"!)
"Go ahead, Make my day"
"I think I'm gonna let the reins out"
"Go ahead, Make my day"
"I think I'm gonna blow my brains out"
"Go ahead, Make my day"


At this point, I was ready to blow his brains out, but I kept my cool until they passed out.

But it gets to be such a burden, month after month.

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 06:15 PM

We need Sister Flatulencia's word on this matter before reaching a final decision.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 07 May 03 - 02:42 PM

"OMNIA SPAWLIA EST DIVISA IN FARTES TRES"

"Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate"

"Pluritas non est ponenda, sine necessitate"

"Sibile, si ergo,
Fortibuses in ero,
O nobile, demis trux,
Vatis inem? Causan dux."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:36 PM

References to Shatner actually belong anyplace?

Don't worry about the lowly fart joke being hidden - Everyone knows the harder you try to hide a fart the more self-evident it is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:24 PM

The situation will definitely get worse. Solipsism will increase exponentially. The lowly fart joke will be buried under an avalanche of less predictable drivel. People's intelligence will be insulted. Their tolerance will be put to the test. William Shatner references will pop up in all kinds of places where they patently do not belong.

Those who were not alive to witness this exciting time will envy those of us who lived through it. These are the days of legend, the best of times and the worst of times. Thesa are the salad days. This is the cherry on the cake, the turd in the crapper.

Cherish it, ye heathen! (While yet ye may...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 07 May 03 - 10:18 AM

To Mr.Joe Offer:
I culd not help but notiss yore unabashed pandering to our khing's dillusions. Obv corse this is perspiring to yore footnote at the bottom ob this mother of all BS threads whar you declare allegenz to khandoo and even thet you worship at hiz feet. This behavior coming from a father figure like yoreself, will prolly only serve to amplicate hiz ego which iz obsculately out obv control.

The hole darned BS section is now aswarm wif BS threads like gnats on a cows ass in August. an' I kin only hope thet ef they iz enny serois minded folks left who ain't contaminated tharselfs by enterin' this snakepit thet they are happy and contentled, smog in the khnoledge thet we hav ben dribben into the abyss and ar no longer fit fer mingling wif intelligetn minded humans. I did not imagine thet my mind could be enny mor nummd than normal but you habv accompanied this wif handy proximity and ease wif this insecretion. Keep up the good work but keep one eye open when sleeping az the Khing obv Mizippi may try to maek a forced entry in order to vacuum yore rugs and put new oil cloth in the cupboards now that he seez you habv finally noticed him. It iz my opinion that the situation will only get worst from all this.

Yerz,
Tweedzrzz
Coot d'Fromage


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:53 AM

An apt question to ponder, methinks...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:45 AM

personally - I think that 'spaw's b'day thread is the Mother of all BS threads... which would be hard as it is younger then most of the BS threads, but older then many - yet it actually almost has a true purpose, which means it's not BS at all - but then again, what do I kow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:37 AM

OK, all you muthers...be happy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:33 AM

My dear King Khandu. I have taken your invitation to osculate with your hind-quarters into consideration. I feel that under the circumstances, what with me being married to a fine fellow like JtS and all, it would be unbefitting and a bit disrespectful of my hubby for me to accept. And if I were to ululate with Joy (which I wouldn't), that would be between me and Joy, now wouldn't it?

Are we going to have to wish this thread a happy Mother's Day or anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 03 - 04:38 AM

The scary thing is, I understand this one a lot better than I do the Henery 8th quiz and I read the book for that one!

Morty - G U Entwhistle sends his regards and can you bring him in the china fishslice when you come for your next session with Dr Spritzentitz.

If I'd known you wanted portapotties, I could have bought you two fine examples of the wedge shaped bed variety, one in vitreous blue glazed china and the other in a fresh white and dalmation effect enamel....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 12:32 AM

SEE!!! Just as I said in the introductory post of this thread, Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job easier.

I looked back on the introduction and, sure enough, Joe Offer has added to it! Look! Look for yourselves! Let your own eyes drink deeply of the khandu prophecy fulfilling itself! Be agog with wonder as you see with your own eyes that the word of khandu brings forth much BS!!!

Indeed! This is.....

THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!!!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 May 03 - 12:18 AM

I knew some mystical force guided my hand to start this thread! Now, it is all becoming clear! And, may I say (beaming with uninhibited pride) that my own Royal Poet-Lariat of Mississippi was the one to see beyond the riff-raff and read the real meaning of this thread!!!

Already, he steps into the annointed position and assumes the stance of "One Who Knows! I am amazed at the speed in which he has risen to the task!

bee-dubya-ell- Royal Poet-Lariat of Mississippi, you shall now be forevermore referred to as THE KNOWER OF THINGS!!!

If it were not improper, I, the King of Mississippi, would bow before you! Ooooo- an important announcement shall be spoken...

Hear Ye, Subjects of the King of Mississippi. Ye shall henceforth bow in the presence of the KNOWER OF THINGS, by Royal Command of the King of Mississippi, khandu.


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