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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Nov 13 - 05:45 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 11:46 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 10:22 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 03:39 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 02:05 PM
Acme 31 Oct 13 - 01:58 PM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 09:25 AM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM
Amos 30 Oct 13 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 13 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 13 - 06:44 PM
Amos 30 Oct 13 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 13 - 10:29 AM
MMario 30 Oct 13 - 05:34 AM
gnu 30 Oct 13 - 05:12 AM
Amos 30 Oct 13 - 02:25 AM
Acme 30 Oct 13 - 12:00 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 13 - 09:23 PM
gnu 29 Oct 13 - 07:27 PM
Amos 29 Oct 13 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 13 - 10:26 AM
gnu 29 Oct 13 - 07:19 AM
Ebbie 29 Oct 13 - 02:00 AM
Amos 28 Oct 13 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 13 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 13 - 09:39 PM
Bobert 28 Oct 13 - 06:52 PM
GUEST 28 Oct 13 - 06:34 PM
GUEST 28 Oct 13 - 04:25 PM
Amos 28 Oct 13 - 03:06 PM
gnu 28 Oct 13 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 13 - 09:46 AM
Acme 28 Oct 13 - 12:38 AM
gnu 27 Oct 13 - 11:44 PM
Amos 27 Oct 13 - 11:34 PM
Amos 27 Oct 13 - 11:32 PM
GUEST 27 Oct 13 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 13 - 03:02 PM
Acme 27 Oct 13 - 01:49 PM
Amos 27 Oct 13 - 10:24 AM
gnu 27 Oct 13 - 07:29 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 13 - 11:04 PM
gnu 26 Oct 13 - 04:58 PM
Amos 26 Oct 13 - 01:10 PM
gnu 26 Oct 13 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 13 - 11:13 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 05:45 AM

The only slinking in the whole affair is the long shuffle to get back in the US. It is a pathetic process. But I don't slink. I just stride very slowly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 11:46 PM

At least I had MY dental implants done in US of A...I didn't slink over the border to Mexico or someplace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 10:51 PM

Thank you so much for the kind over; although I know I am missing a great opportunity, after a fashion, or at least some sort of adventure, I fear I must pass. My mother (having just read Death in Venice ) cautioned me never to trust a man with bad teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 10:22 PM

If you but ask I can be your guide, your compass, your pole star. Just follow me...I'm not sure of the way, but if I get lost I'll have someone to talk to.

This morning, from 8:30 am to 12 noon, I was in the chair at the dentist's office have six (6) implants implanted. Well, actually two and a four-tooth bridge so there were only four screws. He also filled in two tiny spots of decay and repaired the nicks needed for my (now extinct!) partial plate. In January I will go back to the oral surgeon and have the foundations for another bridge installed and then back to the dentist for the bridge. You didn't ask, but my youngest brother grabbed my bicycle handlebars back in 1959 and sent me teeth-first onto the new blacktop of 16th Street -- and I've been missed permanent front teeth until today! By the way, I do not suggest that you give your mother your front teeth the Saturday before you're to start high school.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 04:02 PM

Indeed; the pathfinder's art is one I have studied long, and practiced, and always hope tog et better at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 03:39 PM

Stilly, you put weights on the bucket bottoms and the cacti stop growing.

Of course, Amos, but you must sort your way amongst the snares of verbiage and false paths.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 02:05 PM

Oh, no, Senor. All spirituality is not a trap. The labels and artifacts attached to it, for sure, are a form of entrapment, just as any map can ensnare he who wots not the territory. But the raw landscape itself is a field of joy and infinite discovery.

Even boojums can be un-ensnared, given a little of the right kind of communication; but there is an art and skill that force will never approach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 01:58 PM

You might have a pet ocotillo, but I doubt it is a pet boojam. (Looking for a good illustration I landed on this, which begs the question why the buckets on the top of the cactii?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM

MOAB. The only thread ya don't hafta trace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 11:50 AM

Snuffles likes to defriend people?

I could use a bit of morass meself. I love the bog country of Kent County, nb.ca.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 09:25 AM

ALL "spirituality" is a trap, Amos. The trick is to choose the right path through the morass...and each person has a unique path.

My pet boojum, Snuffles, is a pretty good pathfinder for me. Snuffles is pretty friendly too, as long as I say "Friend, Snuffles! Friend!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM

Warming up here. It's -3C this hour and that's half yesterday's low. I used my remote start yesterday morn. Not me... the truck. Arthritis precludes me from scraping THICK frost off the windows. The high for today will continue to increase overnight and soar to 17 tomorrow. Of course, it will be a great day for flying kites on the marshes if you have a full rain suit and gum bubber boots and weigh at least 100kg or are yourself tethered in some manner. I expect the roofers will have a busy weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 11:39 PM

See, that's what makes the differences between thee and me. I would never stoop to using a spiritual trap, having seen the brutality and harm they can bring about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 09:49 PM

I have a pet boojum, you see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 06:44 PM

I did not, intentionally, mention the more spiritual traps
in which you silently and softly vanish away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 05:33 PM

Your answer, dear sir, surpriseth me not; it strikes me that those who have been early overwhelmed by the machinery of brute force will tend to decorate their spiritual and mental centers with those mechanisms.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 10:29 AM

Amos, Amos, Amos. I do wish that you would "get with it." NOBODY depends on those old-fashioned things anymore.

I have a simple minefield, nothing fancy, just AP mines that will only blow your leg off up to the knee. This is backed with several rows of 175mm howitzer shells rigged to blow up vehicles, and this is backed by interlocked fire zones of various weapons up to and including Mark VII disintegrators. Of course, there is a force field of spherical shape completely surrounding the property so you can't even tunnel under. Should you actually make it into the house, DNA analyzers determine if you actually should be allowed there and if not you will disappear down my shredder/oubliette.

Why, you ask? Because I can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 05:34 AM

you can log in as gnu (assuming you are gnu, or gnu is you) on as many computers as you desire. But you can't login as multiple people on a single computer at the same time. (Well, you *CAN*, but I'm not telling how because that is just plain wrong and requires cheating and MOM says we shouldn't cheat.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 05:12 AM

SRS... why didn't you tell me that before? I just figured I couldn't log in as gnu on more than one PC at the same time. I shall do just that. If I remember, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 02:25 AM

On the subject of portcullises, drawbridges and moats, what state are yours usually in? Portcullis down or up? Drawbridge raised or lowered? Moat staffed with elves or dragons? What other devices do you keep in place around the Ramparts of Being? High-speed Rationalizers? Balanced Justification Generators? Category Analyzers? Wrongness Deflection Screens? Triple-gauge Denial-flingers? What?


And perhaps even more important, why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 12:00 AM

LH will certainly be pleased to read that.

Gnu, why don't you log on with your laptop like your desktop? I'm logged on by three computers, one doesn't knock off the cookies on the other two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 09:23 PM

WINONA RYDER FOUND IN CANADIAN LOVE NEST!

Orilla, ON, October 29: Winona Ryder was found by the OPP today cuddling with Little Hawk, a notorious sex maniac living in Orilla. "It's my birthday and I'll do what I wanna," the sexy starlet pouted, "And I just wanna be with Li'l Hawky."

The OPP discovered the tryst while answering a call screams coming from a house owned by Hawk. They discovered that these were screams of passion.

No charges were filed as no crime was committed. Mr. Hawk and Ms. Ryder were politely asked to "keep it down."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 07:27 PM

That's quite a reach around, A, eh?

Why is LH shirking his duties? Mom must be upset.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 03:06 PM

The vision of Rapparree roping fireflies using tiny #10 thread and taking the dally round his pinky just tickles the hell out of me. Not REAL tickles, you understand. Just test tickles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 10:26 AM

Ya oughta try ta rope 'em, cut 'em, and brand 'em. And keepin' 'em headed ta the home range after roundup ain't no piece a cake either. Last winter I lost prit near 2000 tails ta the weather. Damned near had ta git a loan til the next batch larvaed. Ain't easy being a firefly rancher, lemme tell ya. And if you think that arty facial insemination stuff is hard, you ever try ta get the OB chains on a egg?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 07:19 AM

Course ya can, Eb.

By hand, eh? He's pretty good at artifical insiuation, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 02:00 AM

"I breed millions of fireflies" Rapparee
"That must keep you busy." gnu

You don't know the half of it, guh (May I call you 'guh'?). Rap, being a cowboy country kind of guy, knows all about cattle breeding habits. He breeds every one of those firebugs by artificial insemination. By hand, so to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 10:56 PM

The rumors concerning Rapparree's legitimacy are completely true; his protestations be what they may, the Community will not be fooled.

SOmeone remind me what they were.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 10:06 PM

"Tis a cryin' shame LH hasn't been 'round lately, for tomorrow is Winona Ryder's birthday. Do you suppose he's celebrating with her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 09:39 PM

The 50,000th MOAB post belongs to GUEST Katlaughing.

But what I wanted to tell you all is that I've been going through old letters (WW2) of my father to my mother and contrary to what many people think, not only was I a desired child but I was also conceived AFTER my parents marriage! So that should scotch all those nasty rumors Amos has been spreading.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 06:52 PM

I have just checked with my people in Vegas and here's what they say...

Good news for Amos and bad news for the Catbox...

Chances that Mudcat will still be here to see this thread go to 50,000 is 7 to 3...

Chances are that if Mudcat makes it to 50,000 that the 50,000th post will be Amos's with opposite chances: 3 to 7...

Word on the street is that Amos has already hired an ebay sniping company to pull it off and a PR firm to handle his victory...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 06:34 PM

Guest was laptopgnu. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 04:25 PM

I have seen pics and the hat he wears certainly fits the pimp accusation... insinuation.. allegation... allusion... illusion...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 03:06 PM

HIM? Think of those poor overworked fireflies, condemned by his cruel domination to do their mating dance all evening whether they are in the mood or not! I say it is cruel and unusual punishment, a form of trans-species pimping. Oh, fir, fie, fie!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 10:04 AM

That must keep you busy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 09:46 AM

I don't use light bulbs. I breed millions of fireflies. Works great, except everything has a greenish-yellowish tinge and the neighbors think the house is haunted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 12:38 AM

I recycle all of the lightbulbs, and the ones that don't recycle I take to Lowes. They do something with them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 11:44 PM

Sorry... I seem to forget that laptopgnu isn't the real deal. But, hey! I was watchin three football games, typin at trolls and talkin trash with the guy that now owes me coin on football, AND readin the City of Moncton By-Law 406 regardin my garbage. Sue me if I messed up. BTW, you CAN put light bulbs in the blue bags. Jus sayin, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 11:34 PM

If you have not seen a NEtflix film called "Mao's Last Dancer" I cannot recommend it highly enough.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 11:32 PM

An ode to wax and hemp and flax
And other handy makings
That let you face chaotic times
With spirit never breaking.
To steel and oak and string and cream
To bleach and angostura!
WHen things are wrong in how they seem
These goodies reassureya!
To gas and plastic, stone and clay
And a hundred thoudand others;
We need the things of earth each day
More than we need our mothers.

Oddjob Stuffmeister, Materialist Ways, as published in the Journal of Hardcore Materialism, vol 6, issue ix, page 35, June 1987


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 09:30 PM

It rained today. Wax is good.

Loud, shrill noises? I don't think crows would be intimidated. Maybe my Hrans?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 03:02 PM

Or you can have the local electric company bore and trench for a new cable just outside your fence line, which is what's going on about 10 feet outside my fenceline.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 01:49 PM

I used to have grackles and starlings perch in the trees in my back yard and along the creek and at the neighbors. They have a collective memory and don't come over here any more. I have an old galvanized trash can and my method is simple but noisy - take the lid and and old golf club pole (the head is missing) and while holding the lid by the handle and walk close to the trees then break into a huge amount of banging on the lid. The birds do not like this. I might do it in the back then walk to the front and bang the lid near the across the street neighbors trees. Exit birds. They perch a couple of yards away or in the woods, but after a few evenings of lid-banging they just don't come into my range. And after a few years of lid bangings they don't come hang out in this neighborhood.

You have to be sneaky (get as close as you can) and bold and forceful when banging the lid, don't worry what the neighbors will think. If they ask what is that gawdawful racket, just tell them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 10:24 AM

You should prime those .22s and put them inside the holes on the golf course. That way when the golfs drop in the hole, the golfer hears a celebratory blam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 13 - 07:29 AM

CIL. Memories. Special Long Range Dynawad. Sigh. Now, the best we can buy is Winchester and such. From Walmart, no less. Of course, one's success in putting food on the table depends more upon knowledge and experience than the height of the brass. Why, I can tell you the price and quality of damn near any staple at the Coop, Sobeys, Superstore, Rinzler's and Costco week by week. Spuds? $2/10# at Superstore. Salt cod? $5/# at Sobeys. Marg? $2/# at the Coop. Omega3 eggs? $4.79/18 at Costco. Fishcakes and eggs for brekky!

Eatin em right now. Oh, yeah, tea? $8/240 somewhere. No matter. I paid $7 a few weeks back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 11:04 PM

That's why you use a pellet gun from inside the house. Whatever noise there is is contained in the house...and the neighbors can't see what you're doing. A "wrist rocket" slingshot is also good. But a load of #6 shot is best of all.

I have a box of .22LR C.I.L. ammo that's never been used, if you can figure a way to obtain it. Postal services don't like stuff like that to be mailed and it seems kinda silly to go through all the paperwork required to ship it legally. This is the genuine Canuck article, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 04:58 PM

Me too, A. How dare those dastardly crows eat the unborn young of Hbirds! If I lived outside the city limits, slingshot be damned! It would #6 shot and fire and explosions. Controlled, of course, and their carcasses left in the sun as a warning to others of their ilk to steer well clear. Unfortunately, one is required by law to refrain from the use of deadly loud force within city limits.

One dead Hbird = not enough dead crows. An empirical equation but valid in my analysis and opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 01:10 PM

My keyboard has stopped writing periods and commas Now it is refusing to write /s and brackets I am bound to the Apple Store (period)

I abhor the espousal of violence against life forms but in the case of crows I might make an exception because they are arrogant--like Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 12:31 PM

Rifle? No. Coat hanger, one a them there long elastics, roll of solder and the proper tools. Ya can put a dent in an aluminum storm door at over 60 feet. Of course, yer old man's shoe can subsequently put a dent in yer arse too. Silence. The only thing ya hear is a crow exclaim, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

They have been infesting the city over the past 6 years. I don't mind them so much even tho they caw incesantly at dawn. But, they have driven out the Ruby Throated Hummingbirds soooo, come spring, they shall fear the name of Garryowen in Glory. Nobirdy fucks with my Hbirds.

If anyone wants the plans and specs for the deadly weapon, lemmie know. Just make sure ya wear eye protection if ya use one. (Same goes for that cheap 22 ammo from Mexico. Got a breech blowback from a 94-22R years ago when a casing split and that required wearing my first seeing assistance device.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 11:13 AM

Get a good pellet rifle...shoot from inside the house so as not to alarm the neighbors and/or cops.


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