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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 30 Dec 12 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 12 - 12:29 PM
Acme 30 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM
Amos 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 12 - 08:25 AM
Acme 30 Dec 12 - 01:04 AM
Amos 30 Dec 12 - 12:24 AM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 12 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 07:38 PM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 02:44 PM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 12 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 12 - 09:27 AM
Amos 29 Dec 12 - 01:00 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 09:30 PM
gnu 28 Dec 12 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 03:44 PM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 03:15 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 02:12 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 02:10 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Dec 12 - 01:52 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 28 Dec 12 - 12:40 PM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 12:02 PM
Little Hawk 28 Dec 12 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 12 - 07:55 AM
Acme 28 Dec 12 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 10:29 PM
Amos 27 Dec 12 - 09:23 PM
gnu 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 04:06 PM
gnu 27 Dec 12 - 03:52 PM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 01:42 PM
Eiseley 27 Dec 12 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 09:25 AM
Acme 26 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 12 - 04:48 PM
Amos 26 Dec 12 - 10:01 AM
Amos 25 Dec 12 - 10:55 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 09:36 PM
gnu 25 Dec 12 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 06:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 02:37 PM

Matter of fact, Amos, Chongo and his friends in the Chicago Police force as well as many of his civilian primate buddies have been toasting the death of the late and unlamented Frankie Breeze in a celebratory fashion. No one seems to mourn his passing! I wonder why? ;-) You have indeed been restraining yourself on the Chinga stuff lately, and it is appreciated. I was just reminding you and Rap of the Golden Rule as regards other people's fictional characters. Nothing more than that. Keep Rap in mind. He is utterly shameless, and must be chided for it now and then or he might become even more incorrigible than he is already.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 12:29 PM

Amos has the rear-end loader at his place. Maybe Gluon used IT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM

Oh, look, someone filled the bird feeder, there are vultures hopping around the yard. Who found the roadkill bison? (Whoever must have had gluon pick it up and deliver it 'cause the front-end loader is still in the shop.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 09:53 AM

My condolences to Chongo on the passing of his long-time friend and mentor, Frankie "the Breeze", who passed away in Chicago recently. I am sure C. is all at sixes and sevens wondering which way to turn now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:25 AM

Now that I think about it, it WAS that redheaded bosun from HMS Higgs. She could drink any seven men and fourteen boys under the table and then go aboard dead sober, that Higgs Bosun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 01:04 AM

Some poor sod is going to Google "Higgs boson" one day and land on the MOAB and be confused as hell with those search results . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 12:24 AM

First of all, LH, the discontinuity in your idea is too silly to mention. The word you were looking for is Cabron, and there is no rhyme or reason to assume Gluon would have a sibling of any sort, being a subatomic particle sort of guy, let alone one with a Spanish name. Chinga, contrariwise, is a perfectly good street name, and resonates nicely with Chongo, and her desperate fall into houses of ill-repute is perfectly consistent with his into the dark underbelly of criminal types in Chicago. These things have to be done with style, see? It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing, as my pal Duke useter say.

Anyway, I already agreed to stop injecting Chinga's story into things, and here you are revving the whole thing up again!! Wassamaddah you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 09:46 PM

Hit him with the Triple Dog Dare, Rap! That gets 'em every time.

And be glad I don't start making up false tales about how Gluon sold his aging mother and his poor sister Pinche' Cavron into a life of slavery and sin on the streets of old Chihauhua. ;-) I'm just not that nasty, you see. I respect your fictional characters and I wish them well and would certainly not dream of meddling in their lives in so capricious and hurtful a manner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 07:38 PM

So? Sue me. I dare ya. I double dare ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 03:23 PM

I borrowed a tune, Sir, but you borrowed the engine and the whole switching yard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 02:44 PM

When I was a lad
And Guon was a pup
Over energy shells and mesons we'd stray
Just a boy and his dog
We were both full of fun
We grew up together that way

I remember the time at the old wormhole
When I would have gone beyond doubt
But Gluon was right there
To the rescue he came
He jumped in and then pulled me out

As the years fast did roll
Gluon didn't grow old
His eyes were fast glowing blue laser beams
And one day the physicist looked at me and said
I don't understand him at all.

With hands that were trembling
I picked up my positron gun
And aimed it at Gluon's virtual head
I just couldn't do it
I wanted to run
I wished they would shoot me instead

He came to my side
And looked up at me
And humped away at my leg
I yelled at the best friend that a man ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see

Gluon he has gone
Where duckdoggies go
And you never know when he'll come back
But if duckdogs have a heaven
There's one thing I know
Gluon is somewhere around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM

Once I had a duck-dog
Gluon named,
Strange as a dog could be!
He would leap dimensions
Past the moon
Every time he had to pee.

Gluon was a good dog,
In his day,
Loved to run and jump and play.
Every body loved him,
When he appeared,
In his special quantum way!

Say, do you remember
Gluon's style?
Zipping from Being into Not?
Say, do you remember?
What a smile!
Man that little dawg was hot!


He'd sidle up to bosons,
Lick their toes,
Slipping back to his secret home,
Glide around Arcturus
With his nose
Sniffing out that quantum foam.

Say, do you remember
Shades of Zen!
How his mass would go up and down?
Say, do you remember?
Now was Then!
When that duckdog came around!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:33 PM

I don't really care what the undertaker thinks when I die. It won't be my problem anymore, will it? I do have much anticipation regarding what comes next, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 09:27 AM

Because I ain't gonna pay his bill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 01:00 AM

What? Why? Because you sent him so much business? Because he thought you were irresistibly good-looking while alive? What were you THINKING?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 09:30 PM

Like Mark Twain, I want to live my life so that the undertaker is sorry when I die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 05:53 PM

Ahhh, gee, that's rough, Rap. My sympathies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 03:44 PM

I have some of Trader Joe's pfeffernuss next to me here as I await information regarding what we are doing for dinner.

My mother-in-law's condition is very, very bad. It would be a blessing to her if she were to join her late husband. I do not say things like that loosely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 03:15 PM

Not in the chocolate business any more, so I won't be making chocolate chip cookies again any time soon. But I have a loaf of bread rising to use for open face hot turkey and gravy sandwiches this evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM

You can insult me all ya want, buster, it don't change a thing. I am impervious to yer nasty remarks, see? You can't touch me.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:12 PM

Last night I whipped up a batch of the most delicious chocolate chip and chopped walnut cookies you have ever seen.

There are some virtues in the world that somehow manage to transcend all the ugliness, brutishness, and psychotic hatred the world can throw, and surely high among these virtues is the smell and taste of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:10 PM

My numbers may be mere math, old flea-bite, but they are several orders of magnitude realer than your hyperflatulent identity. Go suck a Colt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:52 PM

You oughta find somethin' real to focus on fer a change, Roscoe. The world don't give a hoot about yer 46 of K. Now if you was to invent a better mousetrap or find a way to cure male pattern baldness, then you'd be onto somethin' worth yammerin' about.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM

I am happy to announce that as a result of an extensive survey using the very best principles of social science research, it has been conclusively established that snow and freezing weather patterns are not actual things, but an urban myth invented by people in certain regions to entertain themselves and have something to post to Facebook about.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

Of Forty-Six of K and Eight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

Our Mom will not have long to wait
If posts continue at this rate
BEfore we pass the Milestone Gate...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:40 PM

I have spent many days wending my way through LA traffic. Although it is awfully dense, especially on the freeways during rush hour, the drivers on city streets are mostly very considerate and up tot he give-and-take necessary to make traffic possible. There are always a few rectal types to be found anywhere, but by and large it is easier than Rome by a long shot. I understand traffic in Vietnamese cities is absolutely terrifying.

Your phobias, good Hawk, are unfounded. And you don't have to wait until three AM to get through LA unscathed. If you avoid the big rush slots from 7 to 10 AM and from 3 to 7 pm, you'll get through fine even on the freeways.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:02 PM

I remember always getting snowed on in the Wasatch mountains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 11:57 AM

Oh? Why is that? Traffic heavy there? I was there once in the early 80s, but was just passing through on a bus. I don't remember anything much about the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 07:55 AM

Y'all oughta try driving in Salt Lake City anytime of the day or night. THAT will convert you to or from religion is anything will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:14 AM

I find I have to plan ahead if I have to drive through L.A. - find a place outside somewhere to stop, and then don't approach the city until 3am when you can drive straight through and out the other side and stop for the rest of the night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 11:43 PM

Just the thought of being anywhere near L.A. gives me the shivers! (And Las Vegas even moreso...but that's in Nevada.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 10:29 PM

"Shoveling" is what you do when the mudslides cover your lawn. Slipping and sliding in your car is what happens during an earthquake. Watching stuff float our of the sky is like watching the embers from the wildfires drift over your house and you hope the roof doesn't catch fire. "Snowmen" are those guys down at the latte joint who sell you nose candy. And "angels" are what the cougars make out of you when you go jogging.

All the joys of SoCal....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:23 PM

Really, I think you guys are BSing me agaoin. What is all this shoveling and freezing you speak of? I do not have these things in my life and see no reason to have them. Do they have some secret benefit? Why would one want them?

I'll stick with the floods of unrelenting sunshine, rainbows, surf, and the cleans mell of salt air. I got enough problems without pretending I never evolved fromt he North Pole.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM

LH... at that, when is the last time ya paid $6.99 a pound? These are "scallop pieces" so they vary in size but they taste just as good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM

The song of winter:

Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' aaaway
Ya know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 04:06 PM

It's been a long while since I had scallops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 03:52 PM

Scallops, scallops are devine. For a pound I pay 6 99, it's maaaaaagic!.

Urp. Bay of Fundy scallops. Mom would like em. I sure do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 01:42 PM

Amos misses such activities dreadfully. He also misses scraping ice off the windows of his car, struggling to open car doors that have frozen shut, making one's way carefully down ice-coated steps, bracing against the freezing winds, squinting one's eyes against the glare on the roads, and battling the dreaded rear-end shimmy as the car begins to lose control and fishtail its way into the guardrail.

It is because of being deprived of all these joys that Amos seeks solace in dens of iniquity such as Starbucks, there to sip morosely his Chai Latte' as he yearns for the distant pleasures of winter.

I'd send him some snowballs in the mail, but I'm afraid they would melt before they got there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 10:38 AM

Good morning! I just finished shoveling the walks and will soon stroll off to work. I'll bet you miss both of those activities, eh Amos?

At two o'clock today my oldest son will lose his smart mouth. All four wisdom teeth will be coming out. He's already looking forward to all the smoothies, but not to the pain and swelling.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:25 AM

Well, guess where I found her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM

I think she got tired of seeing just us around the house. It's good to get out every year or two (loitering at the bottom of the page doesn't count as "getting out.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:48 PM

Mom's over at the Mudcat Christmas Tavern, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 10:01 AM

Oh, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say. I meant to say Merry Xmas toMom. Sorry.

Merry Xmas, Mom!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:55 PM

Luring the semi-real Rapp into argumentation with the wholly unreal Chongo is like asking a bull to have a conversation with a red flag, ole weisenheimer. I recommend against that approach.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:32 PM

Rap, I don't know how this could be...but yer nose has got so damn long that the end of it is hangin' down to within an inch of the floor...and that's when yer standin' on a chair! Could it be you been tellin' a few lies? Maybe makin' up stuff about other folk's relatives? Or is it because yer ancestors was matin' with anteaters? Whatever it is, I think you better do somethin', get plastic surgery, lop off the end of it off with a sharp instrument, whatever will do the job. People should not have to look at a schnozz that big, know what I'm sayin'? It's disgustin'.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM

Chonga, you ain't got no family. Your only surviving relative, your sister Chinga, would as soon make you part of a building footing as blow a hole between your eyes large enough to drive a truck through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 09:36 PM

Good stuff, man. I woulda done the same.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 07:14 PM

This is INDEED a Merry Christmas.

Got through the whole works with only one glitch. The autistic lad didn't wanna eat a proper dinner because he wanted to fly his remote control chopper he was given. He wanted to go back downstairs and play with the wonderful toy he was given. Two adults (yeah, adults? fuck me!) chided him and told him with pursed lips and a SCOWL!... "No. It's impolite!" Why did they give it to him in the first place???

I said, "I gotta move around because my back is tightening up. Will you help me get down the stairs so I can stretch my back, Nick?" They don't fuck with the Chieftan when I make a call. They know they have been told.

I had a ball watching him fly that chopper. And, I brought him some grub... cookies and cakes and stuff when desert was served even tho he was denied it if he didn't eat his dinner. It's kissmeass!

Am I a bad guy or what? Hey, it's Kissmeass and I don't exercise my authority in the clan unless I feel I am right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 06:08 PM

Ein froulicher Weinnachtfest.


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