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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 15 Mar 11 - 11:21 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 11 - 10:49 PM
Donuel 15 Mar 11 - 10:45 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 11 - 10:42 PM
Amos 15 Mar 11 - 10:36 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 11 - 10:31 PM
Amos 15 Mar 11 - 10:13 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 11 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 11 - 07:46 PM
Amos 15 Mar 11 - 07:30 PM
Eiseley 15 Mar 11 - 07:27 PM
Donuel 15 Mar 11 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 11 - 04:15 PM
gnu 15 Mar 11 - 03:34 PM
Amos 15 Mar 11 - 02:13 PM
Acme 15 Mar 11 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 11 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 11 - 09:46 PM
Amos 14 Mar 11 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 11 - 06:25 PM
Amos 14 Mar 11 - 04:31 PM
Amos 14 Mar 11 - 04:26 PM
gnu 14 Mar 11 - 02:20 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 11 - 02:03 PM
Amos 14 Mar 11 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 11 - 10:29 AM
Amos 14 Mar 11 - 01:26 AM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 11 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 11 - 11:59 PM
Amos 13 Mar 11 - 11:10 PM
Acme 13 Mar 11 - 11:02 PM
Eiseley 13 Mar 11 - 10:10 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 08:59 PM
Charley Noble 13 Mar 11 - 08:45 PM
Bobert 13 Mar 11 - 08:34 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 08:34 PM
Eiseley 13 Mar 11 - 08:14 PM
Amos 13 Mar 11 - 08:14 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 07:59 PM
Acme 13 Mar 11 - 06:18 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 06:00 PM
gnu 13 Mar 11 - 04:26 PM
Amos 13 Mar 11 - 04:19 PM
gnu 13 Mar 11 - 04:03 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 03:36 PM
gnu 13 Mar 11 - 03:30 PM
Amos 13 Mar 11 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 11 - 01:18 PM
Acme 13 Mar 11 - 12:34 PM
Amos 13 Mar 11 - 11:29 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 11:21 PM

Before bending my brain around the succinct yet articulate definition of "whirling derivation," I thought I'd Google it. Just out of curiosity.

Whirling and stability of flywheel systems, part I: Derivation of combined and lumped parameter models

I came up with this from The Smithsonian/NASA Astrophysics Data System at this page.

Okay, so there's a little distance between them. But it is a great result!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:49 PM

Where did you get that info, Donuel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:45 PM

The heroic Japanese 50 were not long lived
They are now all gone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:42 PM

YES!!! You are the Master, Amos! No doubt about it.

I'll take that off the back burner and run with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:36 PM

That certainly sounds like a game-changer, a real paradigm shifter, Little Hawk. Could you run up a PowerPoint wall-talk on that for a few high foreheads from mahogany row? They'd be thrilled to hear your vision and it would totally revolutionize their idea of what is or is not low-hanging fruit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:31 PM

Shallow, derivative definitions are the specialty of The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary, Amos, given the fact that it is a dictionary about ridiculous, derivative speech habits practiced in corporate boardrooms (often with accompanying flow charts present to supplement the jargon and increase the inane sense of false importance given to the proceedings). I think, Amos, that with your stunning mastery of bafflegab and bilgeroar you could go far in such organizations. They would look at me, on the other hand, and realize in an instant that I am not "corporate material", after which I would vanish right off their radar screens. I would as be "yesterday's pizza". But I think you could fool them! You have both the urbane look and the bloated vocabulary. What I suggest is that you penetrate the innermost and hitherto impregnable sanctums (sancta?) of the corporate order and overwhelm them with your vibrant and irresistible blathertwaddle and blithermore. They will be rendered helpless in the face of it, and will soon propel you to the top of the $ySStem. You then deliver them over to the true revolutionaries, such as myself, Donuel, and Chongo Chimp, and we will handle it from there. The corporate order will be swept away!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:13 PM

That's a shallow, derivative definition. The word deserves much better and should have been coined long since. Some liberal arts major snuck into corporation-ville, man....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 09:30 PM

Whirling derivation, eh? Can we get a definition of that?

Here's the official definition of Jargonaut, straight from the pages of The Ridiculous Business Jaron Dictionary:

Jargonaut [n.]

A true master of ridiculous jargon, this individual has a 'robust' vocabulary, but none of it means anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 07:46 PM

No to both of you! Nyah, nyah, nyah!

I didn't make any noise at all. After all, there's a high school nearby and I most certainly wouldn't want to disturb the young scholars. No, I just mixed a few harmless liquids together and poured them on the ground. The bubbling and fizzing was very SCIENCE!!-y indeed.

By the way, the hole is about as deep as it is wide now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 07:30 PM

Rappare is such a rogue
Claiming science was the vogue
WHen his motive, now we've found,
Was just to make a banging sound!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 07:27 PM

So you lobbed a nitroglycerin-filled golf ball from your balcony, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 07:13 PM

Amos Too much of anything can always turn tragic


Never give up no matter how hopeless
No matter how painful no matter how long
A full year of burns in only an hour.
None of the 50 did cry out or cower

Onward strode the Magnificent 50
manning the pumps for family and city
through nuclear fire, and bosses who lie
Burned every hour til the last of them die.

They knew of the secrets, the money and danger
They did it for family but what made it stranger
Was the people who bombed them
gave them this gift.
Now they are buried
in a deep steaming rift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 04:15 PM

Okay, I tried SCIENCE!! Now there is a large hole in the middle of the third fairway; it's about 15 feet deep and 40 feet across. Smoke is still rising from it and there are a lot of cops and firefighters there.

SCIENCE!! is really neat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 03:34 PM

SRS... hahahahaaaa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 02:13 PM

I concur wholeheartedly, Still!! At least a jargonaut strives for new horizons. A whirling derivation just goes around in circles while claiming to be enlightened...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 11:55 AM

Amos, all I can conclude is better to be a jargonaut than a whirling derivation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 10:46 AM

All right, now. Every one stand back.


I'm going to try


SCIENCE!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 09:46 PM

Ah'm still a-shootin' at both sides, come the revolution. All I want is a good, solid, middle-of-the-road dictatorship with me as head of the secret police.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 08:45 PM

For all posterity I hereby place this link,
To tell the fascists all just what I think.
They may be white or not, or far or near,
They be overseas or working here.
But small or large their hanky panky
Russian, Arab, Deutsch or Yankee
Is no joyride for this taxi dancer
And so I record here my final answer.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 06:25 PM

Ah- Ha! Ha! Ha! Kee-rist!

Wonderful replies, Amos! You may be the greatest Jargonaut of the 21st century, my good fellow. If not, well, you've gotta be close...

One passage you wrote (or wrought?) worries me, though. This one:

"my thoughts, vibrant and irresistible, will penetrate your fevered cranium regardless"

It sounds pretty suggestive to me, but with a couple of key words changed, that's all. Have you been watching those "funny" videos again, after hours?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 04:31 PM

And I should pass on to you sir, the most acrid rejoinders on the part of SIr William Phrase-Merritt, who thinks your efforts to trivialize his noble accomplishments as the Designated Poet to the House of Lancaster and the world-renowned "man who bested McGonagle" are slovenly, ill-mannered, ill-bred and low-caste at best. HE is writing letters to all of your upper-crust zBritish creations suggesting that they refuse any further association.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 04:26 PM

The first ilk of a jargonaut (assuming you know the words you use) must be I suppose an argonaut. Perhaps a wordy argonaut. Guilty!

You may presume to disrespect my language, sir, but my thoughts, vibrant and irresistible, will penetrate your fevered cranium regardless, and you will ponder the error of your ways.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 02:20 PM

"Jargonaut"

Cooool.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 02:03 PM

I feel your pain, Amos. ;-) Indeed, it is tragic when the frivolous and meaningless pursuit of a tiny number of individuals (2 or 3 of them perhaps?) is derailed by the frivolous and meaningless pursuit of another individual...but not to the result those former individuals had planned on! Tragic. Disturbing. Unsettling.

The chronically pretentious intellectual type usually reacts to such an unsettling event by churning out a great deal of verbose and floridly dramatic poetry to discharge his ruffled feelings, poetry so dramatic, in fact, that it would probably cause even William Shatner to blush. (or....maybe not?...not much can embarrass William Shatner)

But I digress. Let us return to the mad scribbler, the unsettled poet who delivers forth a flood of perfervid rhymes in which he bemoans the fact that a "monkey" has stolen his thunder. Note that he refuses to own up to his own authorship of those verses, but instead hides behind a fictional name, a fictional title, and a fictional publishing house! Well, that's about what we have come to expect of a man who cannot even distinguish a monkey from an ape. ;-D

You, sir, are a Jargonaut of the first ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 01:33 PM

Life is often a confusion
Trials of force and loss and strife
And in such sorrows, some illusion
Can provide relief to life.
Just a bit of humorous magic
Lightens up a dreary scene
But too much, and it turns tragic;
You will soon see what I mean.

Five or ten of us together
Striving toward a distant line,
Carrying a ton of feathers
In a whirlwind of joint mind.
We were bowed, but all determined
We would have our Truth to say
Posting daily, for our teammates
Bound to reach that Forty Kay.

Near in sight our long sought candle!
As a team we struggled on!
Feeling sure we had a handle
On the prize we yearned to own.
Sure of step and with each other,
Bowed against the wind and time
Every man the next one's brother
Toward our goal we all did climb.

Then we felt the horrid shadow,
Then our blood did all run cold,
For we crossed a vein of fancy
Like the fairy tales of old.
There our wits were sore assaulted,
There our minds insulted flew
From some vile imagination
Crassest jeers and brickbats flew.

NOthing real was there to deal with
Just the vaporous world of fancy
Sour swearing, cut-rate cursing
Like some two-bit whorehouse nancy.
Like some slum kid in a frenzy
Torrents of not-much-to-say,
Mindless ranting, all imagined
Came between us and our Kay.

As we stood there, slimed and tired
Forty Kay was quickly snatched
By a scheming crackpot's dreaming
Of a frumious bandersnatch.
Conjured up a dirty monkey
Conjured up a low-life brat
Made them argue with each other
In a low-rent alley spat.

So, for all our composition
All our care and wit and style
All our insight, intuition
Friendly cheers and cheering smiles
All was wasted, turned to nothing
By this dingbat pixie dust
What was once a glorious triumph
He reduced to worthless dust.

But with grace, the prize was rendered
Let him have his dubious gain
With his worthless flea-bit monkey
And his boy with half a brain,
And his mindless has-been actor
And his hamster, and his Brits.
Who steals ouur Kay our hearts gains not, sir
Who steals our Kay inherits shit.



William Hearts Phrase-Merritt
Songs of Retribution and Exhaustion
Mileaux Traysch, Pub.
Flopping-on-Sand, Berks. 1893


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 10:29 AM

I've been compared to flowers many times. "Bloomin' idiot" is one such reference, as is "budding fool" and "skunk cabbage in the garden of life."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 01:26 AM

Eiseley left off one stage, which occurs when an Adult butterfly flitters near a reflecting pond and evolves into a Narcissist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 12:21 AM

Well put, Amos. Or...Rapparee? Well, either way, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 11:59 PM

Good Lord, I talked to Eiseley this evening as I was shuttling up from SLC and I talked about chrysalis and pupae. And I hadn't been on this thread since this morning.

There is only one, mind-shattering, explanation: I'm turning into Amos. No, that can't be because I created him. Hmmm...I'll have to think about this. Maybe I'll uncreate Amos...no, that wouldn't do because I am Kind and Merciful...well, I'll be home until the 17th now, so I have a couple of days (actually Eternities) to ponder on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 11:10 PM

May you all migrate happily from pupa to butterfly at the earliest opportunity. I know I will...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 11:02 PM

If he was 78 on March 22 '09 then Shatner must be 80 this year, no?

"The King of Overacting for no apparent reason." good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 10:10 PM

The LIFE-CYCLE OF A BUTTERFLY

Butterflies and moths undergo complete metamorphosis in which they go through four different life stages.

    * Egg - A butterfly starts its life as an egg.
    * Larva - The larva (caterpillar) hatches from an egg and eats leaves or flowers almost constantly. The caterpillar molts (loses its old skin) many times as it grows.
    * Pupa - It turns into a pupa (chrysalis); this is a resting stage.
    * Adult - A beautiful, flying adult emerges. There is no growth during this stage. This adult will continue the cycle and reproduce.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:59 PM

More of that wonderful stuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:45 PM

Drat! Iraq and the Japan earthquake/tsunami/meltdown distracted me from the important work of the world, the 40,000th post!

Whatever! I don't really care! What the f**k...

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:34 PM

Man, geeze oh pete, Amos!!!

You got beat out a friggin' monkey???

That is prolly worse than gettin' beat by yer own shadow... No matter, it's pathetic...

But I still love you, man...

Hey, there's always 5000000000 or so...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:34 PM

Pretty good Shatner imitations, Amos! ;-) Not as good as Kevin Pollack, maybe, but darned good. March 22nd is going to be a day to remember as millions of people join in talking like William Shatner (at least, they will attempt to...few can master the technique).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:14 PM

Oh the tales! I about laughed myself to pieces sometimes!

When I was visiting Amos a couple of months ago, I asked him to show me his new floor that I had read about seemingly only a few posts back. By then it was an OLD floor. The problem with reading MOAB so quickly is that it condenses time. It's a bit like meeting an author and saying something like "I loved what you said on page such and such." As if any author would remember page numbers!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 08:14 PM

I'm Declaring 3/22 "International Talk Like William Shatner Day"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fJOaqsBXAc

In honor of William Shatner's 78th birthday tomorrow, 3/22/09, I, Maurice LaMarche, am declaring March 22nd to be "International Talk Like William Shatner Day!" (Hey, we have "International Talk Like a Pirate Day", and Shatner inspired a helluva lot more kids to be like Captain James T. Kirk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 07:59 PM

Another one to remember is SPAWBDRASWW.

Look it up on the acronym thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 06:18 PM

TGTPOLHM

Another one to try to remember thousands of posts from now. I hope someone is keeping a list. Maybe Eiseley took a few notes on her pass through MOABland?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 06:00 PM

Few do have that kind of time, gnu. Penelope Rutledge has it, technically speaking, but she chooses to spend it in other ways...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 04:26 PM

To LH's mind? Ere ye daft man? I dunna have that kinda time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 04:19 PM

The Great Tea Party of Little Hawk's Mind, gnu. Pay attention, now...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 04:03 PM

"TGTPOLHM"

?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 03:36 PM

You protest too much, Amos. I know that my fantasies are a treasured highlight of your every day, and that you go online frequently just to find out what will happen next in TGTPOLHM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 03:30 PM

... to your heads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 03:11 PM

I dunno, LH--the Great Tea Party of Little Hawk's Mind gets a little raucous sometimes...the regulars just call it TGTPOLHM for short..it's known to get cramped with all the mock-ups clamoring for attention. Can't get the bartender's attention to save your life. And some of those jadrools fancy themselves as tough guys, and often drink more than they should. You wouldn't think imaginary alcohol would do any harm, but when you're an imaginary character it goes straight to your head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 01:18 PM

LOL!!! No, actually it's crowded around here for just 2 reasons...guitars and model kits.

I got word from Renata. Chongo is reasonably lucid today, due to her keeping an eye on things last night. This speaks volumes for Renata's capabilities! I think she's the one who should be running for president.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 12:34 PM

Like I said, it could get crowded around there at times!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 11 - 11:29 AM

I think a smart woman would soon discover his affections had to be widely shared with strange critters, a category into which she would not want to feel she was being forced ...


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