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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:14 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:11 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:10 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 02:08 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:41 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 13 Aug 10 - 01:40 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:26 PM
GUEST, Don McBride 13 Aug 10 - 01:14 PM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 10 - 01:01 PM
MMario 13 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 10 - 10:06 AM
Amos 13 Aug 10 - 09:47 AM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 11:31 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 08:52 PM
Acme 12 Aug 10 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 07:15 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Aug 10 - 07:07 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 03:34 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM
gnu 12 Aug 10 - 02:31 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 02:07 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Aug 10 - 01:47 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Aug 10 - 01:28 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 01:21 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 10 - 12:59 PM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 12:31 PM
Acme 12 Aug 10 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 10 - 11:52 AM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 10:12 AM
Amos 12 Aug 10 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 10 - 10:47 PM
Acme 11 Aug 10 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 10 - 10:37 PM
Amos 11 Aug 10 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 10 - 08:03 PM
Amos 11 Aug 10 - 07:41 PM
Eiseley 11 Aug 10 - 05:44 PM
Amos 11 Aug 10 - 03:28 PM
Amos 11 Aug 10 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 10 - 11:16 AM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 10 - 10:59 AM
Amos 11 Aug 10 - 10:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:14 PM

Fifteen! Fifteen! And round the top!
Now canter, prance, and thrust!
And singing high, as speeding by
We leave three-six as dust! (ouch!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM

Now sixteen more, 'til joy galore
Shall permeate our being!
And past the far horizon we
Tomorrow will be seeing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:11 PM

Nine eighty-three plus seventeen
Will round us past the Kay!
And we will see her fade astern,
With thelowering of the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:10 PM

With eighteen more, our day is won,
Come out, and lend your hand!
There never was a sterner crew,
Nor e'er more stalwart band!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:08 PM

Here's to the men and women here
As rare as any seen,
Who brought the countdown low so fast
That stands at scarce nineteen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM

that's really close, y'know, 21; i mean , we could probaby do it in an hour if we wanted to push MOM a little.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:41 PM

It's only twenty one, you know,
Before the next of Kay.
I've seen that many posts appear
In the arc of a single day!
And who will buy the funny hats?
And who provide the gin!
And who the vuvuzuela play
When that Kay comes rolling in?
Who'll beat the drum and choose the tunes?
Who'll dance upon the day?
When the last of 36 gives way
To Thirty Seven Kay?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:40 PM

Figgers it'd be flippin' Rapare. Them 2 been fightin' ever since I remember, eh?

Well, I ain't puttin' up with this. I am puttin' the word out to the people I know to find the little brother and my flippin' truck by 6:00 tonight. If that fails then I am gonna call the flippin' cops in on it. Officer Dana, I guess. She might take care of it quiet without need of goin' before the judge, eh? I need that truck. I hate to call the cops on a baby brother of mine, but he shoulda knowed better than to take my truck on a Friday night!

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:26 PM

Don:

It was Rapaire did it. Give 'im hell. But go armed. He has two, himself. Or seems to...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:14 PM

Okay, just what the flip is goin' on around here, eh? The little brother stoled $150 bucks outta my wallet while I was asleep, took the last 5 beer away too, and my car keys, and has took my truck and split to parts unknown! What the flip! Some bolthole on yer flippin' forum made this happen, and I know it. Jeezus flip! I needed that truck fer the weekend, eh? Hot date. Someone is gonna pay.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:04 PM

Oh, ah, my, the convoutions of justified thought! How intricate, how interlocked, how delicately balanced!

Be of good cheer, LH--you are highly qualified to operate a Terran identity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 01:01 PM

Yeah, and they're easier to open now than they were back then too. No way he's gonna be awake and sober!

Amos - Yes, I posted that link, but I was merely speculating as to how Shane might see Rapaire in his mind's eye. Note the question mark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM

Shane alive, awake and *sober*?

How are you going to accomplish that?

It hasn't occurred since he first found out how to open a beer bottle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:06 AM

Hey, Shame. I'm in Saginaw. It goes down this afternoon. So tonight or tomorrow we'll be "visiting" you. But we're nice guys so we're gonna give you a choice: when you go overboard do you want to be alive and awake and sober, or dead? Rocco likes the first choice and I told him since you were already dead from the forehead down it didn't matter, so we're leaving it up to you.

What's yer preference? And how about if you wear swimming trunks -- not that you're goin' to be swimming any!? Haw haw haw!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 09:47 AM

Forgive my bluntness, old puss. But I think thelink to Mrs Grundy was posted under your handle. Not to mention that is ijust a tad rude to make other people responsible for keeping track of the intersections and separations between your and your cast of thousands...it's not as if we don't have our own HR management problems to deal with! :D




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 11:31 PM

Oh, Shane and I "seem to share a deep current of ignorance", do we? Sure, Amos, it's okay for you to drop these kind of unsubtle verbal bombs on a (sob!) longtime friend and comrade who only thinks the best of you. Sure, you don't mind destroying what little (sniff!) pride and self-esteem I have left, and just trampling all over me with hobnailed boots, and comparing me to witless, unwashed hosers like Shane. You probably don't care at all that I have been reduced to tears and can barely see the keyboard now! You heartless bastard!

;-) (heh! heh!)

Look, I'm not saying that I see Rapaire as resembling Miss Grundy. I don't. I am saying that Shane probably sees Rapaire that way.

Capiche? Comprende? See? Get my drift? Savvy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 10:02 PM

You and SHane seem to share a deep current of ignorance, LH. That picture was not Rapaire by a LONG shot; it was his nemesis, his arch-enemy, his mortal foe, his Black Angel, a terrifying old woman named Mrs. Grundy. No-one knows her first name, and none care to either. She's a biblioterrorist and first-order Comstockian.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:52 PM

More like this. That's a picture of me at my new job!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:50 PM

Who knew? Shane does pro bono work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 07:15 PM

Sort of like this, Shane?

Rapaire at work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 07:07 PM

Yer bone is way too small to go pro, man. I am the only genuwine pro bone around this joint.

- Shane

p.s. I am real sorry (but not real surprized) to hear you got kicked out of yer liberry job. You probally didn't look that good with yer hair tied back in one of them liberrian buns and wearin' the long dress, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM

Nobody does that anymore, Amos. Eventually the leg bones fall apart and the rest floats. No, you wire 'em to an anchor and find a nice anchorage, preferably in deep, deep water. But since we'll be doing this "pro bone" so to speak we could do it the traditional way, I suppose. Or we could...no, that's too mean and even Shame doesn't deserve that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:56 PM

At least you won't have to take his old shoes off to put his concrete overshoes on.,..



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:34 PM

You're wrong, Shame. I'm not a librarian any more. I retired from that gig back in March. I'm working as a free-lancer for Certain Folks and I have a "job" to do in Saginaw soon. It won't take long and since we want to give the guy a "boat ride" in the North Channel I think me and Rocco might help the world by paying you a visit. Why, we'll even give you your first and last bath! Har Har Har! Of course we could get in trouble with the EPA and Environment Canada for that! Shucks, we won't even charge for the trouble of making sure you're securely anchored!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:15 PM

I am impressed with how succinctly Chongo completely avoided the issue. Clearly he is a highly developed dodger and evader.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 03:03 PM

It sounds like some sort of code to me, gnu. Kind of worrisome, actually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:31 PM

But, you heard him, LH. Echoing in a hollow chamber... hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:23 PM

Yeah? And yer an empty noise echoin' in a hollow chamber.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 02:07 PM

Chongo,

You are a flea-bitten anachronistic pod of simian improbability covered in a thick coat of complete irresponsibility. You may not be broken, but neither is a tuberculosis bacterium, yet somehow you both bring out the urge in people to do something about it. I know its not your fault you're an under-evolved species, but you don't have to dramatize it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:47 PM

Amos, ol' pal, there is one simple little rule that will keep you outta trouble in life:

"Don't try to fix what ain't broke."

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:28 PM

Hey Rap-POOP? You there? I know what yer problem is, man. You are all ate up with flippin' envy whenever you think of me, Shane McBride, cos I am everything you always wanted to be but you didn't have what it flippin' takes, eh? I am a livin' legend in his own mind and a majrly cool dude with a killer body and a repitation among the ladies that don't have no flippin' pier! I am the dog's bone, man.

And what are you?

A flippin' liberrian! Ha! Ha! Ha! How can a man even be a liberrian? Holy flip. Looser City, eh? I would pity you, but I can't flippin' be botttherd givin' someone like you none of my simpathy.

Too bad fer you. I would help you out, man, but I'm afeard that in yer case it is just too late, eh? You are beyond rendition. Hey, man, ajjust yer pointy glasses, go check out yer flippin' card catellog, and tell them rowdie boys in the corner to "SHHHHHHH!"

LOL! I am rollin' on the floor here!   

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 01:21 PM

The only episode I had with Chinga was to bring her sorry tale to the attention of the world, LH, in an effort to make Chongo face up to his responsibilities. I am sorry to say that in this case the task was more than even I could manage, so deeply ensconced were his profound commitments to complete irresponsibility and feckless narcissistic hedonism.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 12:59 PM

Aside from those sordid little episodes with Chinga....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 12:31 PM

Reckless assumption. I have lived a life rich in compliance, virtue, civil obedience, and highly moral behavior.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 12:13 PM

Can't say I do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 11:52 AM

Great big openin' goin' IN them prison gates, little tiny one goin' out.

But I assume that you know all about the inside of prisons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 10:12 AM

Thanks for the lyrics, Rapaire, and I have heard of the song. But I did want to take up that li'l opening you left for me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 10:10 AM

Sam says: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:47 PM

Here's the whole thing as sung by Harry Belafonte:

I don't want no bald headed woman,
She too mean, Lord, Lordy well she too mean
I don't want no bald headed woman,
She too mean, Lord, Lordy well she too mean

I don't want no sugar in my coffee,
Make me mean Lord, Lordy well it make me mean
I don't want no sugar in my coffee,
Make me mean Lord, Lordy well it make me mean

I got a bulldog he weigh five hundred
In my back yard Lord, Lordy in my back yard
When he bark he call like thunder,
In my back yard well, Lordy in my back yard

I don't want no cold iron shackles
'Round my legs, Lord, Lordy well a round my legs.
I don't want no cold iron shackles
'Round my legs, Lord, Lordy well a round my legs.

If you see my long haired woman,
Better bow your head, Lord, Lordy well a bow your head
If you see my long haired woman,
Better bow your head, Lord, Lordy well a bow your head.


Amos, you'd better memorize this because you never know when you'll end up in prison.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:47 PM

MOM, you'll be so pleased with the new tires on the truck. And this time I had them put the white writing on the outside (they're not quite whitewalls but the name is in white).

I need to get the boys out in the driveway one of these hot afternoons to hose down the truck. No soapy bucket, I don't want it drying on the paint, but they could get rags out of the rag bag and wipe down the wet truck and take off most of the dirt. It would also mean they got a much-needed cleanup--I could put some body wash in a squirt gun and shoot at them and the truck and clean up everyone. After they finish the inevitable water fight everyone and thing should be clean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:37 PM

For goodness sakes, Amos, don't you recognize an old prison song? Pete Seeger sang it:

Don't want me no bald-headed woman,
Make me mean, lord lordy, make me mean.

Don't want me no sugar in my coffee
Make me mean, lord lordy, make me mean....

The beat is in time with a sledge hammer breaking rocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:11 PM

You can stop praying now...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 08:03 PM

Don't want me no virtuous woman
Make me mean, Lord Lordy, make me mean....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 07:41 PM

The thing to know about our Eiseley
Is that she thinks and posts most wisely.
And even when not wise, precisely,
She has the grace to post most nicely,
Which show great virtue in our Eiseley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 05:44 PM

48. A lightweight carrying container or backpack for all of it.

Then make #47 carry it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 03:28 PM

You know, I guess, that forty-nine
Posts only want, along this line,
Before the single glorious day
When we will reach the next of Kay!

Now won't that be one happy hoot?
Think how much hot air had to shoot
From our fevered minds, that we could say
"We brought our Mom to the next of Kay!"

It's coming soon! Of that I'm sure!
I know each one of you has your
Keyboard primed with love and sin,
To bring the next Kay safely in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 12:40 PM

I choose to assume your words are kind, LH, and accordingly send my thanks for them.

Do let me know if I am mistaken, though!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 11:16 AM

Well, it was good while it lasted: a total lack of Shame. But he's back, old buddy-boy is back. The cancerous, running sore on the fair face of Ontario, the bad breath of Blind River, the man who put the "whore" in "Tim Horton's", the nasty know-nothing of the North Channel! Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to re-re-re-introduce the one, the only

SHAME MCBRIDE!!!

Poster child for the hoser industry, Shame has set records for the number of time he has been treated for STDs. He has some of the strangest crimes on record with the OPP. He is the ONLY person ever rejected by "Playboy" magazine for being ugly (it flew out of his grimy hands all on its own). Declared a Violation by the World Health Organization, he has spread more pestilence than all the wharf rats in the world. Let's give him a big round of something...applause, maybe....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:59 AM

You are an amazing phenomenon, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 10:07 AM

Night courses through the soul of day,
Warning the future of the past's betrayal.
While the moon, the queen of all things night
Condemns the sun in absentia.
How
Should we know in such a flux
That anything is true? One
True thing is all
A human needs, and here
In the house of Mom
A higher truth unfolds
In pure BS.


Gota Yannkerchane
Lines from under The Mountain
Yokohama, 1917


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