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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM
Acme 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:29 PM
Acme 20 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 06:30 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 05:26 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 02:56 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 10:06 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:01 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 10:33 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM
Janie 19 Aug 09 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 09:22 PM
Acme 19 Aug 09 - 08:07 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 04:47 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 03:24 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 01:19 PM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 12:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Aug 09 - 11:50 AM
MMario 19 Aug 09 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 11:21 AM
Amos 19 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM
Acme 19 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM
Amos 18 Aug 09 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM
Amos 18 Aug 09 - 11:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM

I WAS ABLE, WITH THE HELP OF PULLEYS, TO RAISE MY LEFT ARM STRAIGHT UP AT PT THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!

Four weeks and two days after surgery....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM

And not alone therein, good my Bookmaster!!


Well. Momm, we survived the perfect storm of technological ingenuity and creativity this week and got two patents filed by COB Friday. I don't mind saying I am glad this week is over.

Happy weekend. I am away for Dana Point on the morning tide (well, actually, I am going by I-5) but I shall endeavour to come a -calling by the end of Sunday. Pray, siblings, keep our mother well, and do not slight her, nor her false rumors tell as would affright her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM

Odd, that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM

In modern slang it has transliterated into "Meh" which kind of means "I barely acknowledge being in the presence of your question in any dimension."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM

MOM! Diane Rehm caught her heel in the hem of her pants yesterday and cracked her pelvis when she fell! She'll be away from her radio program for weeks! Oh, we will miss her so! I know this is MOM's favorite radio call in talk show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM

So "" is "mu", huh? I've heard of it, but never seen it written in Greek.

But it's a bit of serendipity that "mu" should arise just as the discussion has turned toward the theme of the MOAB. We are referring not to the Greek letter, but the Japanese word, best known to westerners via the Zen koan:

A monk asked Jsh: "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?"

Jsh answered: "Mu."


"Mu" is a negative answer, but it doesn't literally mean "No". It means something more like "Unask the question" or, in a more modern translation, "What the fuck?". What more appropriate answer to the question "What is the nature of the MOAB?" could there be?

And, of course, there's the added bonus of the fact that "Mu" is a homonym of "Moo", thus establishing a link between the bovine source of literal BS and the MOABic source of cosmic BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM

I think...

The Khandu Code

or perhaps

The Book of Revelations

or maybe

The Decline And Fall

or, if you prefer

The Necronomicon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM

The Unbearable Illumination of the Mother of All BS

Soaring with Mom

The Mother of Paths Not Taken

I Was a Teenage Mother of All BS


...

Catch me quick, I'm siiiinking.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM

Cool!


Now, what about a book title?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM

1, is used in engineering circles to symbolize the prefix micro.

2. The theme is the transcendent nature of high-quality BS in contrast with the dynamic fluctuation of quotidien reality in the common sandbox, the fact-based, agreed-upon, BS-free world which dampens the crerative spirit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM

What would the primary theme be? Playing the Dozens?

Notice I said "theme", and not "plot."

OK, ok, I'm a relative newcomer to the thread, and certainly not a major contributor (in terms of quantity or quality.) What I do suspect, however, is that stream of consciousness is generally much more interesting to the streamers than to the audience.

Then there is the problem of promotion. To promote said book, one must determine a genre - I mean - who is
our target market audience - ya' know?

SciFi? Trash Romance? Historical Novel? Fantasy? Adventure? Mythology? Psychological Thriller?





Wait.












I got an idea.










A flash of brilliance, actually.......









The first book in a new genre.....

















Ready?




































































































On second thought, nevermind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM

That's the Greek letter "mu". It's roughly equivalent to "r".

(Gad, but you should be glad I'm around.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM

Nor have we used "". In fact, we don't even know what it is. It may have meaning only to freds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM

I'm reasonably certain we haven't used the letter ﻍ yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM

The letter "e" has appeared in this thread 2,764,379 times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:29 PM

One novel? Hell, all of the knowledge that Humanity knows or will ever know is contained herein. Every novel ever written or to be written is here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM

Do you suppose, by now, there is some absolute classic in world fiction embedded in the pages and pages and pages of MOAB? We need to tease it out and get a copyright and publisher and get all of our names on it (broken down by percent of posts would be equitable, though some might argue that quality and quantity are not an equal exchange) and get some money and we can all retire.

Agreed? Anyone want to start looking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 06:30 PM

Ah, forgive me meinherr. I misunderstood you and have made a terrible mistake in aiming my withering sarcasm in your direction. I take it all back. I will send it all to Little Hawk when he shows up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 05:26 PM

Excuse me, please. By "this joint" I meant the Library, not MC and especially not MOAB, the classiest thread in the classy Cafe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:56 PM

Oh, no!! Did I say that in my out-loud voice??!!! Oh, god, now the class police will be looking for me...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:36 PM

Oh, well!! I didn't realize you were appointed as the Inducer of Class to the Mudcat, Mister Rapaire, Sir. Pardon me for not having treated you with all due respect all these many years. If I had but known you were the Source of Class, I would have walked much more carefully around your big, ferocious, class-emanating Self, you betcharoony!! I am sure Mom will sleep better knowing she gets her class from such a qualified source, especially now that you're done with your scheduled visits to the parole officer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:54 AM

But I snagged 30903, so neener, neener Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM

I have yet to understand why it is that I am expected to work AS WELL AS give this joint class.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:06 AM

And all for the love of a beautiful number, here's some cinnamon-flavored tea for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM

Hi, Mom!!

Guess WHAT????!!!! Another day at work!!


Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


Well, it beats starving.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:01 AM

That's why I suggested it.

A very sodden birthday, to you, to you
A very sodden birthday to you....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM

I am sure that would be well received. But it might be a kick to know she has all these weird friends wishing him well.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:33 PM

Oh, hell, just buy him a bottle of booze and let him celebrate in his own way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM

Happppppy BIRTHDAY, Mister JAAAAAANIEEEEE!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 09:42 PM

All together now in a chorus of "Happy Birthday" to my 85 year old Dad.



Best Dad in the whole wide world, he is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 09:22 PM

Golly. The Amazon search box right there next to Mom says, "No results for BS: The Mother of all BS threads". I don't think that's very mannerly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 08:07 PM

99 and the race is on. . . kinda. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 04:47 PM

Oh, my!!! My GOODNESS!! Would you look at that!!!! It was right there!! If it hadda been a rabid groundhog it woulda bit me!! Wow....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM

When is it due?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 04:44 PM

Who will be crass and greedy enough to grab the next hundred?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM

As we used to say


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 03:24 PM

As long as we are into the arts, it may be a comfort to know that not all statues have to be politically correct.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM

Great story, Rapaire! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 02:04 PM

Well, no, good Rapaire. I understand your thespian impulses. I have trod the boards myself for a while and have no jealousy in me. I have had lines which, compared to your ruffian grunts, would sound like actual English!! Lines like "Where's your tobacco?" from All My Sons and "Whither goest thou, Everyman!??" from Everyman, a morality play, and even a whole song I sang solo from the stage of the Carnegie Junior Music Hall (which as you may know is right around the corner from NYC's Carnegie Hall) playing the deathless role of Tom Sawyer's brother Sid. But those days are long behind me, reduced to mere fodder in the splintering brilliance of blazing beingness as it Is Now. So I have no regrets for what Was Then; it all serves in our Quest for Perfection, a quest in which we are but humble vessels....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 01:19 PM

Amos is jealous of my Top Billing in the Shaw play. There it was:

Cast In Order Of Appearance

A Lion


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 12:42 PM

Judging from their mutual affection for very shaggy dogs, they may be the same person. If this proves so, Little Hawk will be very disappointed to learn that Rapaire has stolen a march on him this way, a sort of narcissistic four-flush with a padded deck, so to speak.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 12:03 PM

To quote my lines from my greatest acting achievement:

ROWR! ROAR! ROWR!

                            --G. B. Shaw, Androcles and the Lion


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 11:50 AM

The recent revelation of Rapaire's Thespian tendencies leads one to ponder the inevitable question...



So, just exactly how closely IS Rapaire related to William Shatner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 11:39 AM

that hurts. badly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 11:21 AM

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe... as it
happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car
along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard.
Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car
skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no
avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her
head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob
knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road.
After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light,
which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and
knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob
immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife
Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been
seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My
master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may
have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist..
However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a
basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them
down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob
following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob
collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob
on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are
serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work
feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs
the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it
is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a
stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch
movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping
time to the haunting piano music.. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm
begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and
Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the
conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! ..... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM

Hooboy. Rapaire, wipe off thet greasepaint. MOM's coming!!!

I think it is eighteen days. With one error.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM

What's the count these days Amos? No backsliding, I hope.

MOM wants to go down to that thee-ay-ter and see what you boys are up to. She thinks you snuck in through an unlocked back door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 11:48 PM

At least, to swallow, as the actress told the bishop...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM

It's gonna be curtains for you if you keep making a scene. I've flat out admitted before to having trod the boards, as my father did before me and my nephew has since. 'Shaw, it's in my blood -- the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the groundlings. I'm a tough act to follow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 11:11 PM

Ah. Trying his wings so to speak!! How very fly.


A


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