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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 09 - 06:54 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 09 - 06:31 PM
Amos 06 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 09 - 05:54 PM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 05:41 PM
Donuel 06 Feb 09 - 05:37 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 05:35 PM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 05:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 09 - 05:00 PM
Acme 06 Feb 09 - 04:41 PM
MMario 06 Feb 09 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 04:10 PM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 03:46 PM
MMario 06 Feb 09 - 03:40 PM
Acme 06 Feb 09 - 03:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 09 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 02:57 PM
GUEST,freds 06 Feb 09 - 02:25 PM
Amos 06 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 12:23 PM
Acme 06 Feb 09 - 12:18 PM
Amos 06 Feb 09 - 11:27 AM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 09 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 09:31 AM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 09 - 09:02 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 07:43 AM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 09 - 12:28 AM
Amos 05 Feb 09 - 10:58 PM
Acme 05 Feb 09 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 10:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 09 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM
Little Hawk 05 Feb 09 - 08:24 PM
Amos 05 Feb 09 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 04:06 PM
Amos 05 Feb 09 - 03:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 09 - 03:39 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM
Donuel 05 Feb 09 - 01:23 PM
Amos 05 Feb 09 - 11:56 AM
Acme 05 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 05 Feb 09 - 11:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 06:54 PM

So tell me, Mom, have any of the other kids received a wonderful piece of junk mail from The Geocentric Bible Foundation?

The one that says, among other things:

"Astronomers have deliberately ignored fundamental experimental results of the 1870s and 1880s that showed the earth to be standing still."

and

"...the sun... is lierally (sic), physically moving, being carried daily around the earth by the revolving aether or firmament. The earth is abiding, it is stationary."

What I want to know is this: The Geocentric Bible Foundation is headquartered in Kansas. Where'd they get enough money to afford to do a large enough mass mailing that my address in Florida would be included? Is there a sufficient number of fools donating money to them to finance their propaganda campaign, or is there just one or two wealthy fools?

Their website.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 06:31 PM

That's an interesting concept, Amos. ;-) Gotta love that Chongo, eh? He's got substance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM

Actually, Little Hawk's imagination is measured in units of Shane (as the lowest common denominator). Chongo, for example, is only four feet tall, but he's a fifty-Shane figment!!
Shatner, contrariwise, comes over in deci-Shanes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:54 PM

Yes, Shane is one of my purported alteregos. But don't spread it around, okay? If Shane himself found out, he'd be quite upset.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

The crayons come in units of colour milked from the blood of denizens of the MOAB thread. They make excellent glaze for units of pottery too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:42 PM

Perhaps SRS can explain it to you. She's pretty good at explaining stuff like that.

So Stilly please tell... I must be doing something wrong


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:41 PM

As Lincoln said, answering a similar question, "Just enough to reach the ground."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:37 PM

How much alcohol should one drink before giving blood so it will be best preserved?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:35 PM

You must learn the Secret Mudcat Code, in which the last part of this post is written. Perhaps SRS can explain it to you. She's pretty good at explaining stuff like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:02 PM

probably old as old this little story

Jimmy kept coming back from kindergarten with all his pictures coloured with black crayon.

Day after day pictures in black.

Parents worried talk to the family doctor who refers family to child psychologist.

Psychologist does all sorts of tests decides to call social services thinking must be something wrong at home.

Social worker interviews parents and conducts more observational studies on child. Asks Jimmy "don't you like kindergarten?" He says loves it. Excitedly tells her all the fun things he gets to do at school. Another professional stumped.

Grandmother visits at Thanksgiving seeing the black pictures displayed on the fridge and various other places around the house. She asks little Jimmy why all the pictures he has coloured are only in black.

Because Grandma, when the crayon tin gets down to my end of the table that's the only colour left.

BTW I don't own the crayons I just made them up? Amos said I could.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 05:00 PM

Why yes, Mizz Maggie, I have been making units of pottery. I just put 24 units of everyday mug, 13 units of beer mug, and 4 units of crematory urn* in the kiln this morning. I have 12 units of decorated goblet and 15 units of hummingbird feeder waiting to go in the next load. I should go back to my studio and make a few units of salad bowl, but I think I'll take about 45 units of nap instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 04:41 PM

Then start knitting pictures, Leo, and you can own the yarn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 04:16 PM

How come Tam gets to OWN the good colour crayons?

Sharing just isn't the same as OWNING.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 04:11 PM

And by the way -- here's POSITIVE PROOF that San Diego is now and has long been the Promised Land Of The Republican Party:

SAN DIEGO -- Scientists have found a second mammoth tusk at the construction site for the new Thomas Jefferson School of Law in downtown San Diego's East Village, it was reported Friday.

The tusk, discovered Thursday, is the second of its kind to be found at the site this week, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported.

An 8-foot-long mammoth tusk was uncovered Wednesday about 20 feet below ground level by a backhoe operators, according to Chris Saunders, a spokesman for the law school.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 04:10 PM

Water isn't supposed to come out of lamps???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 03:49 PM

They let you have crayons in here? What if somebody puts his eye out? Do we eat the green ones?

I always preferred to colour outside the lines or better to draw the pictures and get someone else to colour them.

Passing out my picutres... here

a big egg scrambling a little man
a hot air balloon flying upside down little pilot hanging out sideways
water coming out of a lamp
a light bulb in a kitchen sink tap
man mowing his living room carpet....

I got more, loads more.

Sharing my crayons

yummy hummybug (yellowbrown stripes)
summer night taffeta (blackened teal)
dewy pine needle (dark green with silver specks)- this one is delicious
cinnamon and yams (buttery orangey)
negligee night (black lace overlaid on dusky pink)
velvet sub rosa (purple and scarlet)
meerschaum and whiskey (grey and deep bronzy gold swirl)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 03:46 PM

I use the terms the phlebotomists use: a unit of blood.

I was also taught that numbers ran units, tens, hundreds, etc. So I guess if you used 11 "units" of blood you have used 1.1 tens of blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 03:40 PM

MOM is 27510 units long!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 03:33 PM

Maybe we just didn't think of it. You're the first.

Have you made many units of pottery lately? In what dimensions? Did you seal any spatulas into the matrix?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 02:59 PM

Hi, Mom! I'm still a bit nonplussed by Rapaire's donation of a unit of blood. Why is blood donation the only thing we do in units? We don't say, "I woke up this morning and relieved myself of one unit of urine and two units of excrement. Then I went into the kitchen, poured myself a unit of coffee, and made an omelet utilizing three units of egg, two units of bacon, and half a unit of cheese."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 02:57 PM

I happen to like licorice sherbet. It has that...that...je ne sais quoi flavor and quality to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 02:25 PM

Are you on this planet? If so, where? We would like to sample your DNA, please. Many of those who post here have sour or even spoiled DNA.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM

This is not a den of madness, but a furnace of sky-high creativity and coruscating, brilliant wit, insight and repartee. You are welcome to join us. But you have to buy your own crayons. Or Little Hawk will lend you some of his imaginary ones, which have the advantage of several never-before-imagined spectrums of color. Chongo licorice-sherbet, and Chinga-mauve-money ( a torrid red hue with dappling) are two of my favorites.






A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 01:10 PM

probably been said before but this thread is kind of like an accident. you cannot help it... you keep looking.

This really is the madhouse of mudcat?

Is MOM the warden? Is Shane one of Little Hawk's purported alteregos?

Why am I asking?

Sometimes I imagine an ocatrine glow around the edges and think maybe the librarian will snag me if I venture too close to the chained tomes. All this raw magic and I forgot to bring any bananas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 12:23 PM

All of my dreams are BIG.

My real question is "Why?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 12:18 PM

He should be happy that it was a BIG dream. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 11:27 AM

Especially, the how. How did he manage it? He really wants the answer for future reference. It will be disappointing when he discovers it was all a big dream.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 10:51 AM

No, the part where you said, "Like that girl I picked up the other night...I'm SURE she was over 21, and I'd like to remember what we did, and when, and where, and how...."

Sounds exactly like something Shane would say, only he would add "eh?" in a couple of places.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 09:31 AM

You mean dead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 09:02 AM

You're getting more like Shane all the time, Rapaire. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM

You can come back whenever you wish. Mom doesn't care.

Pain focuses your mind, but usually on the pain. I don't like pain pills (especially hydrocodone) because it knocks me flat out for a day -- I'm up and around a bit but have no recollection of what I do or why I do it. And I don't like that. When you get to be my age you WANT to remember things, even though you can't recall them later. Like that girl I picked up the other night...I'm SURE she was over 21, and I'd like to remember what we did, and when, and where, and how....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 07:43 AM

I can't believe I ventured back in here, when I vowed not to. So much for being stuck home on mixolated pain meds.

What I am wondering is why I beleive my brain works better when I am in pain? The worse the pain, the sharper, quicker I believe my thought processes are. *Note I believe they are.

This is why I hate to take the pain meds. I usually do "stupid" remarkably well without chemical enhancement. So these occasions when thinking seems to be clearer, and I am forced by pain to muddle it up with meds really bites.

Puzzling.

Crawling back out of this thread now, again hoping never to return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 12:28 AM

I could weep when I see what passes for deep thought around here. I guess maybe Shane was right after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 10:58 PM

CHopped up the tip of His nose with his props, no doubt.

But here's what I want to know, Stilly. Come clean. What did you know about God's nostrils?? And when did you know it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 10:47 PM

He probably ran the plane up inside god's nostril and was sneezed back out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 10:16 PM

John G. Magee, Jr., in his poem High Flight, says that he reached out and touched the face of God.

Was he careful about this, or did he accidentally slap God around? And how did he touch the face of God when inside the cockpit of a Spitfire or Hurricane?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 10:08 PM

You are what you are, and you ain't what you ain't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 09:47 PM

Here's yet another deep thought:

If we are what we eat, do cannibals become who they eat? What about vegetarians? What happens if we eat a bug? If someone tells you to "eat shit and die" do you have to understand the ding an sich before comprehending the essence of the statement?

All of these questions and more trouble me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 09:40 PM

Here's another deep thought:

If a dachshund runs out the door only to find a foot of cold, wet snow on the ground and there is no one there to let the critter back in, does it exist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM

No, thanks. I have lots and lots of well-thought-out thoughts to supply. For instance:

Before I found enlightenment the mountains were mountains and the rivers were rivers.

While I sought enlightenment the mountains were not mountains and the rivers were not rivers.

Now that I have reached satori the mountains are mountains and the rivers are rivers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 08:24 PM

Would you like me to drop in with some well-chosen thoughts and raise the bar a bit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 07:20 PM

WHy that was very thoughtful of you, Rapaire/ Brimming full of thought. Not the highest grade of thought, but you make up for it in quantity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 04:06 PM

You're right, Amos.

I gave a pint (in metric) of blood because I felt it a good thing to do. So I told them to send it San Diego and reserve it for you, but only if it was an incompatible blood type.

No, no, no need to thank me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 03:59 PM

Rapaire:

IF you were only motivated by things that "someone has to...", you'd never get out of the crapper, would you? Obviously there are other considerations in play. I pray you bee not disingenuous.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 03:39 PM

How big is a unit of blood? Is it the same as a pint? Maybe they look at you and go, "Hmmm... This is a pretty big guy here. Looks like unit of his blood would be about a pint and seven ounces."

Be sure to go to Chuck-O-Rama tonight to make up for the protein loss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM

Well, Mom, I'm back. I gave another unit of blood, because someone has to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 01:23 PM

Amos, Yes we will get through but the lawyers will get through first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 11:56 AM

GEt a whole new lens, Still!! You'll be pleased.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM

You're safe over here, Don.

I've been resetting my monitors this morning. After many struggles I think I've now FINALLY got them working correctly on the ol' dual head card. I've concluded that my glasses Rx needs to be updated. :-/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 09 - 11:51 AM

DOnuel:

Write to Joe--don't be disheartened. You will get through.


A


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