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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 04:08 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 01:46 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 01:04 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 12:39 AM
Acme 15 Oct 08 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 10:59 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 06:59 PM
Little Hawk 14 Oct 08 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 05:49 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 09:05 PM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 08:09 PM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 07:54 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 06:31 PM
Little Hawk 13 Oct 08 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 05:51 PM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 03:34 PM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 11:25 AM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 10:55 AM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 10:00 AM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 09:53 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 09:11 AM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 12:38 AM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 08 - 08:04 PM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 07:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 08 - 07:43 PM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 08 - 06:23 PM
Acme 12 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:47 PM

Amos, someone who sleeps with a night light shouldn't criticize someone who wears bunny slippers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM

"what would you know about the subtle emanations of WOody's disincarnate spirit"

Enough to know that you haven't been talking to him. You are a silly bugger, Amos, tied to the endless cycle of emotional/mental reaction and counter-reaction like all the rest of us here. Having launched a boat that won't float by concocting a chimp sister with an obscene name for my pal Chongo, you are now bound by your ego to go on pretending that the boat does float forever and ever. I expect to still be hearing about Chinga from you a year from now. Two years from now. Five years from now. Till one of us dies. And for what? Well, one has to wonder, doesn't one?

I think it's because you just can't make your mind shut up and be silent. I have that problem too. ;-) So does everyone I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:37 PM

Oh, you are such a blind-eyed redneck, Little Hawk; what would you know about the subtle emanations of WOody's disincarnate spirit. Take nmy word for it, your disgruntlement is not grounds for me to worry much--my reach is far and deep in these matters and I ain't in need of no discerning remarks from a dude in bunny slippers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:08 PM

The discarnate spirit of Woody Guthrie doesn't associate with cheap rumormongers of your ilk, Amos. I think you must have instead had an ecounter with the discarnate spirit of Huey Long or somebody like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM

I spoke to the disincarnate spirit of Woody Guthrie and he really likes that song about Chinga. He also says Chongo ought to change his wicked ways or he'll end up on a gurney in some cheap midnight emergency ward somewhere. To do that he would have to take responsibility for his sins, including abandoning his Mom and Sister when they were down on their luck, among other things.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:46 PM

As Chongo's running mate (for VP -- get your minds out of the gutter or I'll tell Mom!) I intend to post something about the scurrilous and reprehensible rumors and lies currently circulating just as soon as I have the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:04 PM

Beats me where you get the time, Amos. ;-) You'll probably still be churning out this deathless stuff when I have gladly shrugged off the bonds of this mortal existence and gone on to the next thing.

Chongo says you're full of bat guano.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:00 PM

Chinga runs a cathouse chain
Across th great Midwest
The johns in old CHicago all
Swear Chinga's is the best.
The motor workers in Detroit
They say there's no comparing
To Chinga's on a Saturday,
Where the sweet ladies show their wares
At the early evening airing.

Now Chinga is a busy chimp,
As tough as hard-boiled nails.
She fought her way up to the top,
Making payroll, bribe and bail.
She always ran an honest shop,
Men thought of her as MOther,
But Chinga never told the boys
Abouther good-for-nothing
Hard drinking Chicago bum
Of a little brother.

And whent he girls have all gone home,
ANd the men have staggered out,
Chinga ciounts the daily take
ANd works the numbers out.
Then she puts the money in the safe.
And prays to her sainted mother.
And pauses to look at a photograph
OF her worthless little brother.

THere was a time in Africa
When they were a loving family
Chongo'd bring bananas down
To Momma, quick and handy.
They'd play wildly through the treetops there,
A dancing chimp farrago
Until a man in a Yellow Hat
Showed up and caught them in a net
And shipped them to Chicago.

Somehow they all escaped the zoo,
And they found means of survival.
Momma went to the Baptist church
ANd sang about revival.
Chinga started turning tricks
And learned how tricks are played.
But Chongo hit the bottle, man,
Learned to shoot, and learned to scam
ANd followed the gumshoe trade.

He never wrote or called his sister,
SInce Momma passed away
He never sent a letter home
Or shared his daily pay.
He left it all on Chinga's plate
To pay for Momma's board,
And he drank, and killed, in Chicago's slums
WHile Chinga, having little choice,
Walked the streets and whored.

Now Chinga in the moolah, boys,
She's built a trade successful.
She doesn't work on her back fer pay,
And the johns aren't very stressful.
So you can expect one of these days
When his losing ways have panned out,
That she'll see Chongo at her door,
Bluffing and lying about his life,
And looking for a handout.

Townes van Simiant, Cathouse Monkey Blues
From the LP "Songs From the Chimp Line", New York, Darwin Record Selections, 1978


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM

Now, now. You take your 'vitamins,' put on your jammies, and trundle off to beddy-by like a good boy. And don't drink too much water. You know you wet the bed if you drink too much and Amos sleeps on the bunk below you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:39 AM

It's Amos who is getting worse, just when I didn't think that was even possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:10 AM

Just got in from hearing Juan Williams (of NPR and, oddly enough, FOX news) speak on campus. It was simply the best lecture on politics I've heard in ages, possibly in my lifetime. And I got a question in (written), first one, and he took 10 minutes to answer it. Wow! I took my 16-year-old son and he listened very intently. If ever he was to pay attention to a commencement speech in high school or college graduation, I'd want him to listen to this one. It was that good. A call to pay attention, to social and political action.

It was funny, he said people on campus today would approach and say they saw him on FOX, and others would walk up and say "I know your voice, it's nice to put a face with it." And he paused then noted that it was two completely different groups of people, the FOX viewers and the NPR listeners. No kidding!

Now I'm headed to bed. All of that skunk activity last night and bathing dogs off and on today wore me out. They still stink, but not like they did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM

It's okay, Amos. It's okay. Little Hawk is okay now. Take these nice pills like a good boy. THERE you go! All nice and good now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 10:59 PM

Mom:

Little Hawk is getting worse. See if he's been palming his meds again and slipping them into his socks drawer, wouldja???



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:59 PM

Cheny actually went to Chinga--first as a client, then later (int he way these things often go, oddly) as a supplicant. He begged her to help him give up his evil ways and get straight with America. She declined. "Getting straight must come from within," she said. "Any Dick knows that."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:21 PM

Chongo could have straightened Bush out on that if Bush had ever asked him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM

That's it, thinking with your Dick again....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 05:49 PM

If only Bush had consulted with Mom. If only Reagan had. Monm knows BS and she knows economics. If only Henry Paulson had come to her and said, "Mom, its lookin' bad--what should we do??" But noooooooo.



Cheny was the one who stopped the idea, I am sure. If it hadn't have been for him, Paulson and Bush would have come here and gotten a hatful of first-rate advice.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

LOL! I've often thought you were the Green Hungarian sort, Monsieur. But I was afraid to ask.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM

Nah, the quality deteriorated. I used to like a good California Green Hungarian, for example, or something from Firestone Vineyards. Even some of the brandies were good. Now they're developing wines for specialty niches, like the new one for the geriatric set. A glass in the evening is supposed to let you sleep through the night -- it's called Pinot Moore. No quality control anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:38 AM

YEah, they went the way of the French wines--too good not to become cliches.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM

Well Mom, I'm going to a wine tasting this evening. We're going to taste wines from Oregon, Idaho, Washington, British Columbia, and even Utah. But not from California, because California wines aren't what they used to be.

I've got one of the last bottles of a red from Missouri called "Hunter's Red". Sweetish, but excellent. Nauvoo is making wines again, and have been making some nice drys, but they still have a way to go. Michigan, of course, is still doing very well; so is upstate New York. Ohio and Indiana, even Kentucky, are producing some pretty fair products. Too bad about California wines, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

Yeah, I'm gonna pop into the Courthouse Annex and vote sometime this week -- maybe tomorrow. For a really good time, drop around the Library on November 4 -- we're a polling place for TWO precincts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

Politiculi completii!!





There ya go!! Our votes are cast, and I feel much better. Thanks heavens for a stable address and mail-in ballots.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:45 PM

Somebody wave a wand and make all of the politics go away.

Early voting starts one of these days soon and I'm going to get at the head of the line and get it out of the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:21 PM

Professor McGonigle pointed her wand at Dumbledore. "Viagra!" she said, but without effect. Then Snape walked into the room and Dumbledore snapped to attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:05 PM

Merda taurorum animas conturbit, et non gradus anus rodentum donato.

Harry Potter pointed his wand at Ron and Hermione and shouted, "Coitus interruptus!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 08:09 PM

Hmmm. It sounded like something Harry Potter would say when he's pointing his wand at a bad guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 07:54 PM

Well, "Ascend yours" is of course a very different sentiment than the English "up yours" which has the tacit prefix "put it...".   Nevertheless, since it is obvious you meant to send me an insult it, I shall accept your good intent and proceed to feel thoroughly insulted, as soon as I can remember how that is done. Give me a little time and I might even be able to drum up some really incandescent resentment and a deep desire for revenge. But probably not--I've kinda forgotten the trick of it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 06:31 PM

Why would I want to do that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 06:00 PM

Could you also tell him to "get stuffed" in Latin? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 05:51 PM

YOUR Latin isn't very good. The exact translation is "Up yours!" (tuum = yours; ascendare = to go up, to ascend; imperative is "ascendo" or the same as the first person singular and blame the Romans for THAT). Remember what we used say back in The Day, "Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 05:43 PM

Unfortunately, your Latin isin't quite up to snuff. "Up with you!!" is a sentiment I can accept gladly. Or, perhaps you meant "I rise with you!"??? ANd it's true, isn't it? We must all rise together, or we will surely wilt separately.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM

Ascendo tuum, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 04:02 PM

THat's No BEl ringing in your ears, pal. Tralalalala.





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM

Tinnitus, tinnitus, semper tinnitus,
Oh tautem est gaudeum in aperta traha-e-a...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 03:34 PM

Now it has been mentioned on another thread, so let's try this again:


♪ ♪ SNOW ♪ ♪ ♪

Now it's time to sing the song from White Christmas. Or pretty soon it is, anyway.

It's just SO UNBELIEVABLE, MOM, that they're talking about snow in October.

October!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 12:38 PM

Heck, last week at a map conference on campus I met an investment banker and a real estate developer--who are both voting for Obama. At least one is a Republican, but he said Palin was the last straw. No way he wants her in office if McCain's cancer comes back or age otherwise catches up.

They're from Colorado, so they may have experienced the snow and the blow also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 11:25 AM

Not all Mormons are like that. I know some who will even vote for Obama. At least two or three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:55 AM

ANd there was a lot of wind, too...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:00 AM

So you're saying you got a Mormon snow job?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:53 AM

Mormons above, Mormons below,
Mormons harassing the state with Snow!
They must be well connected to the Powers Up Above,
But if the Episopalians were running the connection,
They'd send love.
Love, above, and love below
A kinder thing to send than Snow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:11 AM

Ya think WE'RE happy about it?

But blame Salt Lake City -- it all came up from the south. (Did you know that SLC is one of the worst cities for air quality in the US? 'S true.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 12:38 AM

SNOW!!!

(I repeat myself, but sheesh, it's only October 12, ferchristsake! Pace yourselves, or you'll have winter for 7 or 8 months, at this rate!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 09:33 PM

Well, then, you should send her home to her mother.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 08:04 PM

The antibiotics cleared it right up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 07:59 PM

By the time they get to Monaco, REAL Amos is likely to be summering in the islands of Maine. How's their budget?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 07:43 PM

It's okay, they're safe and warm in Inkom. Twelve miles a day on beans and hay and beer and whisk(e)y and run and vodka and poteen and bacon and cabbage. By tomorrow night they'll reach Rattlesnake, maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 07:10 PM

Well, if its any comfort, they never made it to San Diego.


Of course they could have Gotten a Clue that the REAL Amos is not in San Diego, but is cruising off the coast of Monaco in a 75-foot catamaran motorsailor. These things have been known to happen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 06:23 PM

Six bloody !@$%&^!! inches of s**w. Ice. Cars sliding off the roads. But ha! ha! we have spent the day snug inside!

Oh my god...the Legionaires were leaving last night on Operation Find Amos And Rescue Him From Women Bikers In Spadex Biker Pants And Funny Hats. I wonder....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM

That horse has a story to tell.


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