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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 05 Sep 08 - 11:22 AM
Acme 05 Sep 08 - 10:22 AM
Acme 05 Sep 08 - 01:30 AM
Amos 04 Sep 08 - 09:54 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 08 - 09:51 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 04 Sep 08 - 08:48 PM
Acme 04 Sep 08 - 04:03 PM
Amos 04 Sep 08 - 01:59 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 08 - 01:53 PM
Amos 04 Sep 08 - 01:23 PM
Amos 04 Sep 08 - 11:23 AM
MMario 04 Sep 08 - 11:16 AM
Amos 04 Sep 08 - 10:47 AM
Amos 03 Sep 08 - 05:44 PM
Amos 03 Sep 08 - 02:10 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 08 - 01:31 PM
Amos 03 Sep 08 - 12:24 PM
MMario 03 Sep 08 - 11:39 AM
Amos 03 Sep 08 - 11:14 AM
Amos 03 Sep 08 - 10:19 AM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 08 - 12:28 AM
Acme 03 Sep 08 - 12:25 AM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 10:58 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 03:17 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 08 - 03:12 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 01:54 PM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 01:43 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 01:22 PM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 01:15 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 11:51 AM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 02:26 AM
Acme 02 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 10:33 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 08:41 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 01 Sep 08 - 02:58 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 10:24 AM
Acme 01 Sep 08 - 12:15 AM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM
Acme 31 Aug 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 31 Aug 08 - 09:11 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 08 - 03:42 PM
Acme 31 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 05:41 PM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 03:25 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 30 Aug 08 - 11:52 AM
Acme 30 Aug 08 - 12:56 AM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 12:01 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 08 - 11:22 AM

I thought he was an Eveready bunny type....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 08 - 10:22 AM

No more news from Rapaire? I wonder if his batteries died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 08 - 01:30 AM

Naw, just left him out in the middle of the parking lot at Disneyland. Or Six Flags. Maybe his blackberry has the bandwidth to tap into the headquarter's hot spot to send that post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 09:54 PM

What--abandoned him on the island in Frontierland?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 09:51 PM

Aha! Sounds like Shane has finally managed to somehow arrange that terrible revenge upon Rapaire that he's been planning for so long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 08:48 PM

Dear Mom:

I am being held captive. I hope to escape soon, if I can avoid the land mines, the electric fence, the killer dogs, and the kill-crazy guards. If I don't make it out by the 15th you'll know I didn't make it and Amos can have my Teddy Bear. Can't write more -- the guards are coming for me again.

Your fave son,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 04:03 PM

I don't believe there is an html code for a backward "R" to make that really suit the level of illiteracy you're referencing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 01:59 PM

Or, given the US influence and general level of illiteracy,

Shame-R-Us!!!!!





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 01:53 PM

Hey...if we were running a Co-op here, it would be called "SHAME-IS-US", eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 01:23 PM

...because silence is a defamation of character!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 11:23 AM

Oh, just on general principle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 11:16 AM

whyfor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 10:47 AM

I hope you guys are ashamed of yourselves.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 05:44 PM

I see our Resident Bookmeister has left the building for parts unknown, as of August 30th.

Rapaire, all is forgiven!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 02:10 PM

Don't worry--the wetware itself is not from WalMart. I got a discount from Edmund Scientific. Ole Chongo will still recognize you as a brother.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 01:31 PM

Sounds like you are right on track. Har.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 12:24 PM

HEy--those were Mom's choice! I wasn't even IN WalMart that day.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 11:39 AM

Yeah - but you replaced the night lights with those stupid "twinkle" LED's that are enough to trigger Grande Mal.

I think the bulb over the kitchen table is a bit overpowered, the table is starting to smolder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 11:14 AM

OH, and we're expecting the replacement wetware for Little Hawk today, Mom, so if it arrives while I am out, just put it in the fridge, okay? I have to wait until Amazon sends my "Brain Surgery for Dummies" before I put it in. No, I'm not worried--hey, remember when I changed all the night lights in the house? Nothin' to it...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 10:19 AM

ANd I replaced the underpad on that runner in the hall so you won't be sliding off to the side all the time.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 12:28 AM

I have decided that the multiple commas were a bad idea. Har. Too much extra typing, and I'm lazy. Har. So I'm not going to use extra commas. Har.

Aren't you glad? Har. I know I am. Har.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 12:25 AM

MOM, you won't kill yourself tripping over stuff in the kitchen any more.

Clean it up? Why no, I just replaced burned out bulbs in one fixture and completely replaced another fixture. WOW! It's bright in there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 10:58 PM

Well, Mom, it has been a satisfying day. I'm back now, so you can take it easy, rest from worriting, and stop fretting about Rapaire's irresponsible shenanigans. Can't be cured here and now, nohow. Want some tea?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:17 PM

(Little Hawk is channeling the freds again...sigh.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:12 PM

What, say, we, all, decide, to, put, commas, between, all, our, words, from, now, on? Har.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:54 PM

Ah, so...you are right, Sir Emm, and I am wrong. I had forgotten about that 1-day mechanism. So the screen just adds lines up to the 24-hour break point. I am such a fool. Ah, woe. I will return to political threads where my folly is less obvious by far, thanks to the presence of so many black holes...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:43 PM

true - rate iof decline is related to rate of postings.

However........

the fall off point is at 24 hours, regardless of the rate of decline.

period.

Don't matter whether there is a single post or 18 quadrillion and two. MOM won't fall until 24 hours are up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:22 PM

You cannot make that measure in linear hours, Oh, Man of Emms. The rate posts are posted defines the rate of decline. In today's torrid political climate the rate could double in ten minutes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:15 PM

It's not me you need to convince, sirrah,but our Mother; when she hears that you consider her to be so feeble and febrile that over four hours are needed to cause her to rise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 11:51 AM

COme, sir, use your wits and Newton's calculus. It is the rate of change, and the rate of change of the raste of change, that is important. I tell you she was swooping like a purblind osprey!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 11:32 AM

MOM was ***FOUR HOURS*** away from dropping off the page. Are you implying she is too old and feeble to rise up? If so, I'm putting on a flak jacket, because I don't want to be hit by ricochets when she takes aim at you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 10:25 AM

There she goes again, swooping down like some purblind osprey into the misty depths, threatening to vanish below the Sea at the Bottom of the Page and never come up again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 02:26 AM

Yes, ma'am, Sis.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM

Keep your "fat thumbs" in your lap while you're in the kayak and your center of gravity will keep you stable. Start waving your hands and you'll have to do those fancy rolls in a man/boat pas de deux.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 10:33 PM

noram==normal!! Oy, my fat thumbs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 08:41 PM

Again, Saturday morning, the quiet gray skies over La Jolla's shoreline gave way to patched blue and white patterns and the same sun rose, slowly, turning the dark beach light as I ran through the surf (a perfect entry, this time) and out into the deeper salt water that hides the plummeting depths of the La Jolla Trench and natural preserve.

Along the cliffs, thick with half-asleep cormorants and pelicans wondering about fishies six times a minute, the crude stone ledges provide ample support for the harbor seals and sea lions. The males are particularly fond f the ledges just along the cave entrances. For sport thay dive into the surf, and surface in the dead centerline of the cave entrance, and bark loudly in their best sea-bully tones. The caves multiply the sound and the roar of a much bigger animal comes out of the cave only slightly delayed. This makes them feel mighty proud of their capabiltiies. Then they go off and bite the teenage males on the ear to show them who's boss. The females doze through the whole show--they seen it all and heard it all, and they'd switch allegiances in a deepwater minute if some hot young Leo managed to scare off their current alpha male. Bu that is rare.

Cruising just off the ledges along the shore line, you have to keep one eye over your shoulder for the occasional larger wave, and swing into and over it if it arrives. You don't want a salient to suddenly pick you up and carry you onto the shoal rocks.

There are small coves where isolated beaches never visited by the noram crowd sit in the sunrise, isolated and pristine. There are rugged rocklines and there are concrete seawalls where human vanity has interceded to build shore mansions.

You follow the curve of the bay until you come back to the hotel beach where the street access brings dozens of cars onto the sand to offload their kayaks and surfboards. The shoaling here is long and gradual, and the breakers come in sets. You move shoreward on the swell, feeling the passage of time as the ocean itself defines it, rising and falling. You hold back, and at the right moment you drive hard for the shore. Your prow lifts up as the big one passses under you, moving in faster than you are. Then, just as it crashes and reverses, you finish your run into the shallows and are left neatly on the sand, a perfect exit, unscathed by waters which could broach and tumble you like a dead grunion if you timed it wrong.

The images stay with you all day and you breath salt and sea-water until bedtime.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 03:22 PM

I swan, therefore I am Swan.

You duck, therefore you am Duck.

Rapaire gooses, therefore Rapaire Am Goose.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 02:58 PM

You swan?

I duck.

Rapaire gooses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 10:24 AM

You hurricane people!! I swan.

Little Hawk, this thread is only for volunteers. We assume those who post here come freely and post in a spirit of freedom and creative wit.

If you don't meet these requirements go to one of the mandatory threads!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 12:15 AM

Little Hawk-- "cellar!" (I'm quoting Jacqui)

Hold on MOM, looks like we're in for a soaking on Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM

"There were three threads between MOM and oblivion!"

Ha! We should be so lucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 09:41 PM

There were three threads between MOM and oblivion!

I have an invitation to a Barbecue tomorrow afternoon--MOM can come along with me if she wants, or I can bring back a plate of brisket, pinto beans, and a cup of sweet tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 09:11 PM

When our Mom was feeling low,
To her aid our Sis did go.
No-one else would come around,
To help Mom when she was down.
Mom's now back in finer fettle,
Lights her pipe and starts the kettle,
Starts to bake an Apple Pie
Suddenly, look who draws nigh!
All her cousins, sons and daughterin'
Come around with mouths a-watering.
It is strange, as we all know,
Nobody knows you when you're feeling low.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 03:42 PM

Ahem!

Perhaps you luminaries here should know that LEJ has started what looks like a really interesting story thread up in the upper section...it's called "Fiction: Dead Man's Guitar".

I haven't added anything to it, because I'd rather just hear what LEJ has to say next.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM

Stilly runs, dives, makes a quick grab, tucks and rolls and rescues MOM from falling off of the bottom of the page

Ouch! My elbows and knees got skinned.

I've been roasting Hatch chili peppers all day, sorry about the smoky smell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 05:41 PM

How little did my mother think,
When first she diapered me,
That I would grow up as a link
On the Endless MOAB tree!

She never would have fed me milk
Nor warmed me in her bed
If she had thought I would become
A useless MOAB head.

But she is gone and I alone
Am left to find my way
Yet sometimes when the sun goes down
I can hear her sweet voice say:

"Oh stay away from bullshit, boy!
Speak sooth, or hold yer tongue!"
Oh how I wish I'd heeded her
In the days when I was young,

And how I long her face to view
Once more before I go
And in her gentle ears tell
My sorry tale of woe.

I know the things I long to say
If she were only here
Of how I grew to fall astray
Of bullshit, babes and beer,

I'd tell her all I have done wrong
And this I'd also say:
"I'm proud to be a MOAB, Mom!
I never truusted yer judgement much anywaaaay!"




Caldwell Tupperware Holmes
Anti-Temperance Songs of the Open Plain
Boston, 1894

(Actually Rapaire did not appear on the MOAB until May 12, 2003, and he was already protesting at that time. So maybe he should just be fathered rather than grandfathered. I am sure he would be delighted in any case.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 03:25 PM

SOmetimes I think you should have one to post here, too....not you individually, as you're pretty much a grandfather charter member.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 11:52 AM

You need a permit to carry that bomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 12:56 AM

Our MOAB is a weapon against mediocrity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 12:01 AM

"http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/munitions/moab.htm

Based upon this definition, the MOAB is a weapon and requires a legal review. This review's conclusions are based on the facts contained herein. Any weapon that varies from the technical descriptions included in this review must be the subject of a separate legal review.

There is no agreed definition of unnecessary suffering. Whether a weapon causes unnecessary suffering turns on whether the injury, including death, to combatants is disproportionate to the military advantage gained by use of the weapon. The effect of a weapon must be weighed in light of levels of injury to enemy combatants by comparable, lawful weapons in use on the modern battlefield. The critical factor is whether the suffering is needless or disproportionate to the military advantage secured by the weapon, not the degree of suffering itself."


JUst so you know...


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