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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 31 Mar 08 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 31 Mar 08 - 02:02 PM
MMario 31 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 01:47 PM
MMario 31 Mar 08 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 08 - 01:25 PM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 01:11 PM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 08 - 11:33 AM
Amos 31 Mar 08 - 11:01 AM
Little Hawk 31 Mar 08 - 10:50 AM
Acme 31 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 31 Mar 08 - 09:26 AM
MMario 31 Mar 08 - 09:12 AM
Rapparee 31 Mar 08 - 09:05 AM
Acme 30 Mar 08 - 10:44 PM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 08 - 08:53 PM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 06:24 PM
Little Hawk 30 Mar 08 - 05:03 PM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 04:20 PM
Acme 30 Mar 08 - 04:03 PM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 12:19 PM
Acme 30 Mar 08 - 11:13 AM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 10:40 AM
Amos 30 Mar 08 - 02:24 AM
Little Hawk 30 Mar 08 - 02:15 AM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 11:20 PM
Little Hawk 29 Mar 08 - 10:56 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 10:21 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM
Acme 29 Mar 08 - 07:15 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 06:08 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 08 - 01:05 PM
Amos 29 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
Acme 28 Mar 08 - 11:57 PM
Amos 28 Mar 08 - 11:35 PM
Amos 28 Mar 08 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 02:25 PM

Mebbe you could just drop some dry ice down the pipe and cap it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 02:02 PM

Using dynamite would be crude, Rapaire. Overkill. I think that the raw sodium in the gelatin capsule is a much more sophisticated way of blowing open a blocked drain. Have you seen what happens when a chunk of pure sodium is dropped into water? It's quite spectacular.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:51 PM

Corridus would probably get a new novel out of it, if he did it...


hmmmmm......

Corridus and the Texas Caverns of Doom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:47 PM

Besides, outsourcing the task would be bad policy when you have a local hamster who is only slightly more expensive right here in the Mudcat zoo. I think his cage is just down the row from Chinga's, the sister chimp of Chongo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:26 PM

Simon is too smart to do that, Alvin refuses and Theodore won't fit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:25 PM

Okay.

How about if Alvin, Theodore or whats-his-name crawls down the pipe with a flashlight and a big spoon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:16 PM

Ach, Rapaire, always mit der forcink t'iks!! Burn, bang, shoot, stab, slice. Hydrochloric acid, mortars, sabers, Martinis, Winchesters...such a t'ing you got for der force.

Mit der pipes, better you should try persuasion and accuracy.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM

First, get a BIG carboy of sulfuric acid and a BIG carboy of hydrochloric acid. Dump 'em both down the drain. They'll either back up at the clog and eat through the pipe and give you a new underground septic hole OR they'll eat through the clog. In either case the problem is solved!

(If it's not solved you might possibly maybe perhaps want to mention the acids to the plumber....)

(See, Amos? Explosives aren't always the only answer to household problems.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM

At twenty-two thousand, and nine-twenty-two!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:11 PM

A spinner of beauty now rises to view....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 01:04 PM

Oh, Rapaire. You and your explosives. Stilly, you might tap into the Mudcat bestiary and see if that giant hamster (COrrigidor? Corridus?) is still at play. You could send him down the line; he gets fed so much crap anyway he'd probably think it was a night out!
But renting a SeeSnake would get your answer faster. Me, I'd call a plumber, but chacun a son gout.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 11:33 AM

A garden hose wouldn't have the pressure to do the job, and you'd just get a backup of really awful stuff to clean up (personal experience). Now, if you are friendly with the fire department, THEY have hoses with the pressure necessary for the job....

I'm assuming you're on city sewer and not on a septic. If so, measure and see if the problem might be the city's and not yours. If you're on a septic just call the septic cleaner-outer people.

There might be, as Amos says, a cleanout further along (in the basement?). You might need only a few extra feet to reach the clog.

You could also float dynamite sticks down the drain pipe. I suggest electrical detonation if you use this option, as fuses might burn a bit too fast and you'd have to replace the wall of your house instead of just your lawn or driveway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 11:01 AM

Still,

So, you know the blockage is more than 20 feet down-line from kitchen sink.

Look for cleanout caps just outside the house on the line leading tot he city sewer. On later homes they are round black ABS plastic with square heads for wrenches to start unscrewing them. Older homes have cast iron ones.

This will let you access the line further down and snake back up -- if you can -- and down from there.

I've never used a hose for this purpose.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 10:50 AM

Get some raw sodium. Put in inside a gelatin capsule about the size of a large marble and seal it in there. Roll the gelatin capsule down the drain. Add a wee bit of water. The capsule will reach the blockage. So will the water. The water will melt the gelatin. When the water reaches the raw sodium it will cause one hell of an explosion, and your blockage will definitely be cleared! ;-)

You may thank me by sending a check for whatever you think this advice is worth. I suggest $25, but feel free to go up to 3 figures.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM

The plumber is a last resort. We had this problem before and the plumber used a snake to fix it. Gotta get a longer snake or think of something else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 09:26 AM

No, no. It's just a humble suggestion from a humble person who lives in a humble house in a humble village in the humble high desert of humble Idaho, someone who eats naught but humble fare and faces life with humility.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 09:12 AM

well - you could try to suggest it humbly, but we know you, Rapaire; and you will most likely take great pride in suggesting it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 08 - 09:05 AM

May I humbly suggest Roto-Rooter or something similar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 10:44 PM

Sounds like the spot where the ransom money was cached in Fargo.

The snake didn't work. It wasn't long enough. Good thing it was cheap because I can't take it back. I paced the distance through the house over to where this might possibly have to reach, and I need at least 75 feet, not 25.

So what is the trick with the hose? How do you do that? I'd have to use a funky old hose because I'd have to toss it after such an operation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 10:43 PM

I don't get it. The myrtles are blooming and the lilies are budding and sunlight is the order of eachmorning.

IS Rapaire in a time warp? It's Spring for cry-i!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 08:53 PM

We drove over to Gray's Lake NWR today to see the cranes and other birds.

There were snowy egrets, snowy owls, snow geese and snow drifts. Mostly snow drifts. Snow drifts higher than the car, drifts about 2 meters high. There was steam coming off the paved highway, which made a fog in which at times you quite literally could not tell snow-covered ground from sky. The snow was up to the at least the second wire from the top on the barbed wire fences, sometimes over the top wire.

Infinity is a straight fence, the dark tops of whose posts march off forever into the snow-sky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 06:24 PM

Put a shallow bucket under the trap, loosen the hose clamps and take the hose out and clean it out.

That will be your most probable source of blockage, right there.


Then replace hose and clamops, after cleaning and oiling the clamps, and tighten.

If you don't find the blockage there, have fun playing with the snake!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 05:03 PM

Huh? What? (blinking eyes sleepily and looking around in confusion)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 04:20 PM

Sorry---that's RIDGE tool.

Rigid tools are another matter all together.

Mom I used up all the leftover vegetables and turkey and a bunch of spices in a big pot-au-feu soup. It has everything in it. But not the kitchen sink.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 04:03 PM

I went the path of lease expense--I picked up a 25' snake for about $12 at Home Depot. I came in to check out information on traps--mine seems to have been broken and repaired with a couple of hose clamps. I'll try loosening those first and see what happens. Why is it that nothing on my house seems to be standard according to the information I find on The Internet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 12:19 PM

You might want to see if you can rent a small SeeSnake somewhere--it will show you exactly what you're up against.

(Full disclosure: SeeSnakes are distirbuted by Ridgid Tool Comapny, Illyria, IL, and manufactured by SeekTech, Inc., San Diego, where I am gainfully employed.)

They are very robust pipe inspections systems with smal cameras with LEDS lighting the path, attached to the end of a cable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 11:13 AM

Hey Mom, today's the day I finally have to do something about the washer drain. I need to do some laundry. I'm starting with a small snake from the neighbor, and if that doesn't work, Home Depot, here I come. Stinky work. I'd rather be digging a new flower bed. :-/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 10:40 AM

Ooo! Little Hawk!!! WAKE UP!!! You don't want to miss this!!!!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 02:24 AM

Nope. Go back to sleep....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Mar 08 - 02:15 AM

Did something happen?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:41 PM

Let's hear it for Rapaire!!


Woooohaaaaa! Yay! Bravo!! Bis!! Salud!! Viva!!! Yayyyyyyyy!

Booooooo


Hissssssssss


Booooooooo!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:31 PM

99. And my generous spirit has just kicked in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:30 PM

98.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:30 PM

97.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:20 PM

Absolutely! Pocatello has more and better acne than anywhere else in this solar sytem! We revel in it!






















What's acne?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 10:56 PM

I heard somewhere that Pocatello is the acne capital of the world. Is it true?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 10:38 PM

Well...good save, sir. A MOAB Wing would be nice...but, you'd have to figure out how to explain what it stood for or they'd wonder why it was in Pocatello.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 10:21 PM

Just picture it: The Amos Memorial Roof Insulation! The Little Hawk Memorial Low-Water-Use Urinal! The SRS Memorial Childrens' Room!

Or...perhaps you'd like to donate in memory of someone else:

The King Khandu Memorial Women's Room!
The Bee-Dubya-Ell Memorial Air Conditioning Compressors!
The Tweed Memorial Garage Door Opener!

The possibilities are endless....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 10:09 PM

Hmmm.... I bite my tongue in your general direction, sir!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 07:40 PM

How would you like to be the first
MAJOR DONOR

to our Capital Campaign? We'd name a bathroom or something after you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM

If the numbers bring you untold wealth, for which you have my prayers, I want a round-trip ticket to your new port of call.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 07:15 PM

Nice round number there, Amos. 22888.

I just got in from a tour of a library unlike any other. A private library in Dallas. Whew! Our Friends of the Library rode over in buses, and as we left we had to go around the block to get lined up for a left turn--that "block" we went around had a lake and park and fountains in it, along with some very high dollar homes.

I bought my lotto ticket for tonight on the way home. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 06:08 PM

But I will never quit our Mom!!! Never!!! You hear me, now!!! You gotcher ears on??? Nev....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 01:42 PM

Yeah, I quit when I had pneumonia, too... :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 01:05 PM

Well, I got up. Now we're going out to buy me some tee shirts and some other stuff we need. Probably going to get a HUGE Visa bill in the mail, too. I set off the smoke detectors fixing breakfast, dropped a book in the bathroom in a rather spectacular fashion, dropped a sharp knife point down on the kitchen counter, and completed a pleasing transition from undressed to dressed. Even though they're still downstairs I haven't smoked a pipe since 1985; it's easy to give up smoking when a) you have pneumonia and b) your wife becomes VERY insistent about it.

Ah well, off to the stores.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

Well, I did sleep tight and fel peachy today. I'm on the patch for a while still, until I finish thrashing my Nicotinic Daemans from the Dark Side of the Protoplasm. I have a lovely new car which gives me joy. We did the sound checks and trial video for the house concert with Andrew Calhoun next weekend, and I have reviewed the trust and healthcare directives and trust documents from the lawyer, and the amendments seem in order. I have completed an important transition in the novel, which gives me great satisfaction. I fixed BBW's electric heating pad, got through another twenty pages of Through Masai Land, a conceited but riveting tale of one of the first dozen English (well, Scots) explorers to penetrate the Masai country around Mount Kenya and Mount Kilimanjaro and survive to tell the tale, and BBW's fever has broken so it looks like she will be over her cold soon.

Der liff is der gut. Ja???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 08 - 11:57 PM

Sleep tight, if that's where you're headed. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 08 - 11:35 PM

Well, g'night one and all. May the MOAB be with you and the Force keep you safe until we meet again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 08 - 08:09 PM

Damn. Just keep it to yourself, pal. I have a reputation to remember.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM

I thought they called you...oh, wait. That's what they called "Shane." Just never mind. I just remembered the name by which you were known from New Guinea to Nome.

To keep it from those who might misunderstand, I'll put it here in The Secret Mudcat Code:

Amos


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