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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 23 Aug 07 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 10:43 PM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 07 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:33 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 07 - 09:01 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 08:20 PM
John Hardly 23 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 06:13 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 05:00 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 04:05 PM
JennyO 23 Aug 07 - 12:52 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 12:20 PM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM
Acme 23 Aug 07 - 11:29 AM
MMario 23 Aug 07 - 11:22 AM
JennyO 23 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 11:06 AM
Acme 23 Aug 07 - 11:05 AM
MMario 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM
GUEST,PMB 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:56 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:55 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 10:54 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 07 - 09:18 AM
JennyO 23 Aug 07 - 07:09 AM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 11:11 PM
Acme 22 Aug 07 - 11:08 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 10:38 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 10:28 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 09:03 PM
Acme 22 Aug 07 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 08:50 PM
GUEST,janie 22 Aug 07 - 06:52 PM
Amos 22 Aug 07 - 06:52 PM
Acme 22 Aug 07 - 06:19 PM
Amos 22 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM
Amos 22 Aug 07 - 03:52 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 01:36 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 01:30 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 01:13 PM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 01:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:50 PM

Rapaire, that has not stopped enraged mobs from unearthing and desecrating the remains of people like the French judge Cauchon who condemned Joan of Arc. The attack on his grave occurred following her exoneration by the Catholic Church some decades after her death.

However, as I said, I have forgiven Mr Twain already.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM

LH, he might be impugning dachshunds by the thousands, the millions, but what are you going to do about it? He's been dead for danged near a hundred years and as the trial of Pope Formosus demonstrated, it's pretty futile to do much to a corpse.

It gets you laughed at, for one thing....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:43 PM

I'm in a reminiscent mood tonight, and quoting Sam takes me back to my roots along the Upper River. Hell, I grew up twenty miles upstream from Hannibal and I have friends there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:37 PM

LOL!!!! My God, Mr Twain is impugning the grace and utility of a dachshund! What a poltroon! What a dastard!

He is Mark Twain, though, so I shall forgive him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:36 PM

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
- Mark Twain, "The Chronicle of Young Satan," Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:33 PM

Now we are nineteen, one and ten
And may we never be that way again.
Lets us by ones and tens and hundreds grow
To find the wondrous things there are to know
And all the wondrous ways to do it.
There's a game with certain flavor to it!
For there's a hidden wonder, I confess
In searching endless folds of pure B.S.
Crudely disguised by calling it bullshit,
A land of wily wonder, wags, and wit.
Let us proceed, then friends, with laughter loud;
And by proceeding, make Our Mother proud.

Casimus Antony Derivative
Nth Roots of Certain Poly-Dimensional Expressions Explained and Extrapolated
Brown, Dry, and Yewgly, Groton, Connecticut, 1947


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:19 PM

How rich, and true. And unstolen!!! Bravo, Sir Rapaire!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM

In the train, during a part of the return journey from Baroda, we had the company of a gentleman who had with him a remarkable looking dog. I had not seen one of its kind before, as far as I could remember; though of course I might have seen one and not noticed it, for I am not acquainted with dogs, but only with cats. This dog's coat was smooth and shiny and black, and I think it had tan trimmings around the edges of the dog, and perhaps underneath. It was a long, low dog, with very short, strange legs--legs that curved inboard, something like parentheses turned the wrong way (. Indeed, it was made on the plan of a bench for length and lowness. It seemed to be satisfied, but I thought the plan poor, and structurally weak, on account of the distance between the forward supports and those abaft. With age the dog's back was likely to sag; and it seemed to me that it would have been a stronger and more practicable dog if it had had some more legs. It had not begun to sag yet, but the shape of the legs showed that the undue weight imposed upon them was beginning to tell. It had a long nose, and floppy ears that hung down, and a resigned expression of countenance. I did not like to ask what kind of a dog it was, or how it came to be deformed, for it was plain that the gentleman was very fond of it, and naturally he could be sensitive about it. From delicacy I thought it best not to notice it too much. No doubt a man with a dog like that feels just as a person does who has a child that it out of true. The gentleman was not merely fond of the dog, he was also proud of it - just the same again, as a mother feels about her child when it is an idiot. I could see that he was proud of it, notwithstanding it was such a long dog and looked so resigned and pious. It had been all over the world with him, and had been pilgriming like that for years and years. It had traveled 50,000 miles by sea and rail, and had ridden in front of him on his horse 8,000. It had a silver medal from the Geographical Society of Great Britain for its travels, and I saw it. It had won prizes in dog shows, both in India and in England--and I saw them. He said its pedigree was on record in the Kennel Club, and it was a well-known dog. He said a great many people in London could recognize it the moment they saw it. I did not say anything, but I did not think it anything strange; I should know that dog again, myself, yet I am not careful about noticing dogs. He said that when he walked along in London, people often stopped and looked at the dog. Of course I did not say anything, for I did not want to hurt his feelings, but I could have explained to him that if you take a great long low dog like that and waddle it along the street anywhere in the world and not charge anything, people will stop and look. He was gratified because the dog took prizes. But that was nothing; if I were built like that I could take prizes myself. I wished I knew what kind of dog it was, and what is was for, but I could not very well ask, for that would show that I did not know. Not that I want a dog like that, but only to know the secret of its birth.

                         Mark Twain, Following the Equator


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:56 PM

It ain't the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.

Omar Winnebago, Homespun Truisms I Have Stolen


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:01 PM

Finnegan's nails have been trimmed. He put up an even better fight than last time. It required 3 vets to do the job. One man to do the clipping, 2 women to hold the frantic little monster down! And a muzzle, needless to say.

And he's a miniature dachshund...good thing he's not a full size one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 08:20 PM

Oy, have you got the wrong number!

Hey Rapaire, thanks for the link to the KEWL strip, dude.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM

is this the thread about good writing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 06:13 PM

http://www.wondermark.com/d/291.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 05:00 PM

And I am feelin' wild and free
On nineteen thou one hundred three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 04:05 PM

Or so say you,
And it may be true.
But so is nineteen
One-oh-two!
Boop-boopsy-boo!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 12:52 PM

You may like number nineteen-one,
But nineteen-one-oh-one's more fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 12:20 PM

And just for fun...
Here's Nineteen-One!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM

I, too, was particularly smitten with that phrase. Well turned, Madam.

"          MIND

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions."

             Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:29 AM

Yes, and thank you for recognizing the work that went into cobbling those ideas together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:22 AM

Stilly - I'm gonna steal this ambiguity is cultivated, but it doesn't happen in a vacuum!

Okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM

Hahahahaha - everyone scrambling for numbers again! It was almost a three-way tie that time!

Congratulations Amos. 19091 is a particularly nice palindromic number.

I was thinking earlier though, that once we get over 20,000, there won't be any more pinwheels to be had for quite some time - about 8 or 9 years by my calculation, so I might have to learn to settle for palindromic numbers. Oh well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:06 AM

Hell, them lines weren't stuttered,
I'm glad to boast.
I know where buttered
Is my toast.
And when to regions
Far I roam,
It's nice to have
A Pal in Drome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:05 AM

We don't see guests on this thread very often.

Did you read from the very beginning so you'd catch the drift of the enterprise here? I hope so--ambiguity is cultivated, but it doesn't happen in a vacuum!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM

one ninety nintey
amos stuttered
one ninety ninety-one
is the words I uttered


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM

19091 is palindromic though


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM

AN' jes' because it's purdy
And I'm out havin' fun
I think I'll also lay a claim
to 19091!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:56 AM

But all them fancy figgers,
They are not worth a dime.
You want 'em, you can have 'em!
But 19090 is MINE!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:55 AM

We've had losers, we've had winners
Who've occupied their minds
With couplets, grands, and spinners,
A way to pass the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:54 AM

There are many claims for numbers
Occur along this line,
When some bizarre obsession
Takes over someone's mind...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:18 AM

Now I have to ask if Toronto still has a hockey team. In fact, I have to ask if there are any hockey teams left in Canada. I mean, if there are they don't win or anything, do they? But then I guess there are, because the US and Russia and other country have to do their recruiting someplace. When I was in Edmonton and Calgary I saw tee shirts and hats and things for the Oilers and the Flames, but I'm pretty sure those are cricket teams. Hockey teams have names like Rangers and Islanders and Bruins and Lightning and Red Wings and Blackhawks and Ducks and Coyotes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 07:09 AM

We don't have Tim Hortons in Australia. Should I be pleased or not?

However we do have Starbucks and McCafe (which isn't too bad actually) and Gloria Jeans, which is really nice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:11 PM

In Canada? Far more durable. There is a Tim Horton's donut shop on just about every main thoroughfare of every city, town, village, and hamlet in all of Canada. In every mall. They're like a plague. You can't spit without hitting a Tim Horton's donut shop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:08 PM

More durable than Mr. Coffee?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM

Yes, Tim Horton is a dead hockey player. He was a veteran defenceman for the Toronto Maple Leafs, way back in their glory days...and for awhile after that. He got killed in a car accident. He has the most enduring monument of any sports figure in history at this point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:38 PM

The lady at the counter said, "You vant brewt dea, ja?" I think now that she meant "brute tea" but at the time I thought she meant "brewed."

Isn't Tim Horton a dead hockey player or something? I kinda vaguely sorta maybe remember something about a car crash, kinda a James Dean sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:32 PM

That must have been the male tea, eh? I always get the female tea. You don't have to kick it even once, because it is mild and agreeable.

You're dead right about the grease and the sugar. Tim Horton's is into selling basically two things: caffeine and sugar! The rest of the stuff is just garnish. The grease comes mostly from the customers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:28 PM

"Shane" is simply jealous of my capacity for beer and other drinks. He's insanely annoyed that I once drank sixteen more caribous than he did -- I was still drinking 'em when he came out of the coma.

I must admit that I've now eaten in a Tim Horton's, and apart from the fine film of grease holding the powdered sugar onto every surface it wasn't bad at all. My wife did find the tea to be a little more powerful than she normally has, but after she kicked it twice in the balls it settled down and she drank it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:01 PM

Shane's had it in for you for some time, Rapaire...and he seems to have made friends with some very clever space aliens...

Know what I'm saying here? The exploding chair may just be the beginning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 09:03 PM

Yes, in fact. Bits of pretty thick plastic. The chair's going into the trash.

I'm going to buy a good chair this time; I've got my eye on this one. I got the last one on sale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:57 PM

Any shrapnel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:50 PM

I am back in my office, deep in the bowels of my home. I was here this morning when my chair exploded, too. Plumb shook me up, it did. I've never had a chair explode when I sat in it. Collapse maybe, but never before explode.

Post-morteming the wreckage, it looks like the gas cylinder that moves the chair up and down blew out. No, I'm not going to try to fix it and it's not worth fighting with the store even if I could remember where I got it.

Sure did wake me up, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,janie
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 06:52 PM

Jenny,

FWIW, here
is a link to some very basic stuff on dream work, and I bet you already know much more than that. I don't do much dreamwork in my practice - don't have the expertise and haven't studied it enough to feel competent.

I have done dreamwork in my own therapy. The therapist adhered strongly to the notion that only the dreamer is competent to interpret the dream, and that any of the people in the dream, especially unknown people, such as that baby, are very likely to represent some aspect of the self.

Works for me!

Janie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 06:52 PM

I have had many strokes, some of great renown in certain quarters--strokes of inspiration, strokes of luck, strokes of approval, and even occasional extra strokes for getting into a sand trap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 06:19 PM

Amos, turn over your keyboard and thump it against the desk a few times. Then get one of those cans of air and spray it out. Some of your keys are sticking together. Either that or you had a stroke. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM

I guess not, huh. Well. it seemed like a good idea at the time, for a hairy SWAG.

I love getting home from worl. I am going to take a nap until the heat of he day is past.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:52 PM

SOme think that bowels are unfathomable, or should be. It's a deep subject, though, and I wouldn't want to put my feet into it -- any of the six. Congrats MM, and you didn't even have to make the down payment, so to speak. I guess if your a great-uncle and Mom is sort of your pseudo-cyber-foster Maw, with a complex net of connections to many friends and relations, that means as far as Jordana is concerned Mom is a foster-frieze. Ya think?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:36 PM

Well the verses anyway.

Actually, it works well with Fathom the BOWL (without an e)

I'd rather not fathom any bowels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:30 PM

I don't know no "Fathom the Bowel" song, but you can sing that Alice thing to "Bonnie Dundee."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:13 PM

Congratulations MMario. I think that trumps a pinwheel ;-)

Maybe that makes MOM a great Grand-aunt - or something. You know what they say --

Mitakuye Oyasin (We are all related)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:07 PM

oh - she's number 7; I think.....lemme count

Dierdre has one
Richard has two
Jake has one
Gaby has three

so far all girls. All of them. No boys.


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