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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 30 Aug 06 - 11:16 AM
Acme 30 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM
Amos 30 Aug 06 - 09:40 AM
MMario 30 Aug 06 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 06 - 09:18 AM
Bunnahabhain 30 Aug 06 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 06 - 09:02 AM
MMario 30 Aug 06 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM
Bunnahabhain 30 Aug 06 - 08:09 AM
Acme 29 Aug 06 - 10:58 PM
Acme 29 Aug 06 - 10:57 PM
Amos 29 Aug 06 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 10:23 PM
Amos 29 Aug 06 - 07:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 03:58 PM
Amos 29 Aug 06 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 03:52 PM
Acme 29 Aug 06 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 01:19 PM
Amos 29 Aug 06 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 09:49 AM
Acme 29 Aug 06 - 09:44 AM
JennyO 29 Aug 06 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 06 - 09:16 AM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 10:56 PM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 08:29 PM
Acme 28 Aug 06 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 06:33 PM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 05:34 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Aug 06 - 05:29 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Aug 06 - 05:04 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 03:07 PM
Acme 28 Aug 06 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 01:32 PM
MMario 28 Aug 06 - 01:08 PM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 01:04 PM
MMario 28 Aug 06 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 11:21 AM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 11:04 AM
Amos 28 Aug 06 - 09:46 AM
Acme 28 Aug 06 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 06 - 09:11 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 11:16 AM

Is THAT why the girls I dated in college used to say, "You snake!"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM

I think an "automatic nervous system" is what one finds in elderly drivers of cars without standard transmissions. Reptiles have an autonomic nervous system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:40 AM

Rapaire:

Please provide a compendium of everything you know for me. I would like it on DVD in ASCII, please, not on MOAB because we have to let others talk once in a while. Make sure it is spell-checked.

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:24 AM

that's what my niece used to say when she had need for a bidet (something she didn't even see, let alone use until she was a teenager)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:18 AM

I'm still waiting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:15 AM

Douglas Adams wrote a little book around the fact there are many, many wonderful words langushing as simple place names, when the could be given new and intersting definitions.

Ockle( n.) An electrical switch that appears to be off in either position.

Idaho(n.) The place you've ended up at for the forth time, having carefully followed helpful directions around an unfamilair town, whilst looking for a place you can't possibly miss...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:02 AM

I'm still waiting to be asked....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:57 AM

the grade of illness that is not severe enough to actually stop you doing most things, but means you really don't feel like doing anything, even though you know you should

a)galloping lethargy

b) functionitis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM

I thought Ely was a cathedral town near Cambridge. Shows what I know.

Actually, I know a lot. If asked I would be happy to share everything I know with y'all. Sure, it would take up a lot of Mother's space, but wouldn't it be worth it to have a compendium of everything I know? I could start with the automatic nervous system -- the so-called "reptilian brain" stuff and go on from there. I could tell you about my very first memory (that it was suddenly bright and cold and someone spanked me) and the first word I spoke and why ("deciduous") and even share with you why I don't like fried eggs. And oh! the things you'd learn! Like the best place to stick a blasting cap in a stick of dynamite or why not to to use live ammo when demonstrating how to load a semi-automatic shotgun and you're in your bedroom or what to do when a the guy next to you slices your leg open with a corn knife or why you should never throw batteries in a fire.

I'd be happy to share everything I know. All you have to do is ask.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:09 AM

We need a word to describe the grade of illness that is not severe enough to actually stop you doing most things, but means you really don't feel like doing anything, even though you know you should.

Word of the day, courtesy of Douglas Adams

Ely (n.) The first, tiniest inkling you get that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 10:58 PM

Mom was just hanging on that edge there; had to boost her over.

I got it also. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 10:57 PM

Uuuupseeedaisy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 10:45 PM

Brother!!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 10:23 PM

Dang, I thought it was hilarious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 07:30 PM

I've always said, "A man's mind should exceed his grasp -- or what's a Meta for?"

But no-one thinks it funny.

Dullards.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 06:36 PM

But then again, as Donne wrote,

"There's nothing like a damn'd fine book
To get an erring lover off the hook."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 05:54 PM

I've also always said, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for?" (NB: the word "man" as used herein includes both sexes.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 03:58 PM

As I've always said, "He either fears his fate too much or his desserts are small, who will not put it to the touch to gain or lose it all."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 03:56 PM

I did not say you were sophomoric. You're not, are you? I mean, you don't do things like glibly coming up with random couplets and pretending they are quotations from someone famous, or coming up with quotations and letting people think they are your own, or stuff like that? THAT would be sophomoric.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 03:52 PM

No, but they did have silk stockings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 03:34 PM

I don't think they had nylons in Jonathon Edwards' day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:19 PM

You saying or implying that I'm sophmoric, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:05 PM

For unaccredited, random assertions, why wait for a librarian -- ask any sophomore!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 09:49 AM

It takes the sharpest sight, and not in the noonday sun
To look and see that if perchance your nylons have a run.


There. Now you needn't puzzle about it any more. "When in doubt, ask a librarian."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 09:44 AM

It takes the sharpest sight, and not in the noonday sun. . . (it's a stretch, and I don't know much more than the mangled quote itself).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 09:35 AM

hey're just time flies. They like an arrow.

...and my fruit flies like a banana.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 09:16 AM

I don't understand. Please explain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 10:56 PM

ANd Clinton Got a Blowjob....

With apologies to the tender-ears in reach.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 08:29 PM

hey're just time flies. They like an arrow.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 08:03 PM

We've had flies like that in the house plants. They bop around and it feels like you have a bunch of tiny satellites, any where you go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 06:33 PM

We're tenting tonight in the old coat-rack
Give us a song to cheer
Our weary hearts, a song of home
And lots of lovely beer...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM

Bunn:

Have you tried tenting your coat-rack?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 05:34 PM

The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" should have been called "The Gunfight in the Vacant Lot By Fly's Photography Studio" but it wouldn't have had the same panache. There is no recod that I can find of what sort of fly it was and why it owned a photography studio.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 05:29 PM

I forgot the most annoying of all:

The random colony of Dropsophelia Megolasta, beter know as the small fruit flies used in labs, that have decided to live in my coat stand. They are many, small, and seemingly unkillable....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 05:04 PM

I'm back. I've been down to Essex again. I have many silly hats, but no useful dog related sayings.....

My list of annoying things for the week is:

The dog not being any good as a sheep dog.
The sheep figuring out how to get through the Electric fence.
The Sixth coat of white paint still not covering the old stuff up.
Being Ill.
And the friendly individual who made the whole carrige stink of Cannibis for 6 hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 04:51 PM

Come to think of it, lots of women told me "Keep your filthy paws on the wheel!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 03:54 PM

Doggone it, if she was just dogged enough she coulda taught him. "Keep your eyes on the road and your paws on the wheel...10 and 2...good boy!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 03:07 PM

But you can teach an old truck to be very dogged.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 02:41 PM

Can't teach an old dog new trucks, either. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 02:20 PM

BEIJING (AP) -- A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.

No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said.

The woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog "was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive," according to Xinhua.

"She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the accelerator and brake," the report said. "They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car."
        
Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs.


I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 02:12 PM

That's 1920's style flat caps. Not 1020's style, would would have been unfashionable in, oh, say, 1021.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 01:32 PM

I've also got a couple of 1020s-style, cowflop-like, flat caps which I don't wear often because they're wool and too hot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 01:08 PM

!!!! That elephant should be ashamed of itself! Didn't it's mother teach it to CHEW before swallowing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 01:04 PM

My main hat squeeze is a Tilley, of the kind that has been three times through an elephant. True story.

The company was so impressed with the story, when they learned about it, that they wrote to the owner, an animal keeper, offerting a brand new one if they could have the historical elepahnt-thrice hat for their historical colelction of Tilleys. He declined, understandably. Having gone to so much trouble to recover and recondition it, three times, he was not about to part with it just for their convenience. And they understood completely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:28 AM

yeesh! I have a novell cap - from a training course - I've worn it a total of about 5 minutes; I've got 4 flat caps for ren-faire -including the two that sinsull gifted me with last fall; a leather cavalier hat that shrank after a rainstorm and is too small to wear. that's it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:21 AM

Amos, I much prefer "When in Rome, shoot Roman candles."

Let's see.

Caps: Goex Black Rifle Powder, USS Nautilus, USS Wasp, Doellman Gunsmithing (2 -- one old, one new), "Reel men play with their flies," "Bite Me", Alaska Marine Highway, a plain off-white one, Hidden Face Moon design (NW Coast), Craters of the Moon, New Bedford, Eagle (NW Coast Design), Salmon (NW Coast design), "Spawn 'til you die", Moose Drool, MPL logo, and soon, one with our MPL brand on it. That's all the caps I can remember right now. There may be more. And, of course, my new Moose Drool.

Hats: a black crusher like Bobert sometimes wears that I think I've lost, a brown fedora-style crusher, a tan canvas one, a quilted tan one with snapped-up brim edges, a flat-crowned black felt for re-enacting, a plain black felt tricorn, 2 straw fedodas, and an NZ "Clancy" style. That I remember.

I don't collect them, they just sort of show up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:04 AM

Just don't resort to all caps, you two. Keep a couple of Stetsons, fedoras, homburgs, or other kinds of headwear available.

You may ask why? The answer is simple. All caps is considered rude in the internet age, the equivalent of shouting at another. Don't ask me why -- de gustibus non disputandum and all that. But, when in Transylvania, do as the Transylvanians do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 09:46 AM

Congratulations on your preciptation, madame'; another dire catastrophe averted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 09:43 AM

So how many caps does that make? I have quite a few here myself, but they're from the university(s), the power company, the local newspaper, and a handful of painter hats from Home Depot. They don't really count, because I don't wear painter hats when I walk the dogs or run to Home Depot (go figure!). Several of them hang over the knob on a rail in the kitchen. I didn't wear one this morning because it wasn't bright, it was dark and ominously cloudy and guess what--it's raining right now! Whoo hooo! We haven't had rain since July 4.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 09:11 AM

Hi, Mom. Welcome back. I've returned from Bozeman. Pat went to a quilt show and quilt stores and I bought books. I bought two books about prostitutes in The West and a book about forensic studies on the men who died with Custer and all kinds of neat-o stuff. Then YESTEDAY we drove down to Yellowstone Park and entered via Gardiner and the Roosevelt Arch and drove through YNP and Grand Tetons NP and ate in Jackson Hole at Bubba's barbeque place and drove home through Alpine and Soda Springs. The moon was just a hairline crescent and when it set around 9 p.m. it was coppery-red from the smoke from all the fires. And Mom, you know what? I bought another cap. Yes, I know, but this one is for

                               MOOSE DROOL!!


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