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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

khandu 25 Jan 04 - 11:34 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 11:04 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 10:03 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 09:16 PM
khandu 25 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 08:31 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 08:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 07:43 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 07:14 PM
GUEST 25 Jan 04 - 06:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 25 Jan 04 - 03:16 AM
GUEST,Leonard Nimoy 23 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 04 - 07:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM
khandu 22 Jan 04 - 06:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 04 - 06:38 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 22 Jan 04 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Run! 22 Jan 04 - 06:33 PM
GUEST,Look out! 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM
GUEST,Uh-oh! 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 04 - 06:20 PM
Amos 22 Jan 04 - 11:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 11:10 AM
Tweed 22 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM
khandu 21 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM
khandu 21 Jan 04 - 09:36 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 07:55 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 04 - 12:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 21 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM
freda underhill 21 Jan 04 - 12:02 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 11:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 04 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 11:17 AM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 10:23 AM
Tweed 21 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM
Rustic Rebel 21 Jan 04 - 02:14 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 04 - 12:33 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:34 PM

AMEN!!! Knower of Things has done it again!!

THE ANTI-SHATNER MUST DIE!!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM

My God, Bee-dub!~ Do you think...? Would anyone dare to...? I mean, the collossal nerve of....! (splutter, splutter) This merits a full investigation at the highest levels of the WSSBA! Shatner imitation is encouraged, but not Shatner impersonation! Thou shalt not take the name of the Captain in vain! Yes, the Anti-Shatner must die!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:04 PM

It is obvious that I spoke in haste when I said "Shatner Must Die!!!" I should have taken a few moments to explain my position.

First, let me state that I do not desire the demise of the real William Shatner, the mediocre actor. He is a harmless old fart who makes a decent living being a caricature of himself, which is really not too bad of a gig if you can get it.

But, the "Shatner" who has posted repeatedly to this thread is not that guy! He is an imposter! In fact, he is worse than an imposter, he is the Anti-Shatner! The real William Shatner would not diss King khandu and claim to be the "Captain" of the MOAB. The real William Shatner would not steal the M2K post away from the MOABites who worked so hard to get the thread to the point where an M2K post was possible. Only the Anti-Shatner would do such things. Why? Because, by doing them he makes MOABites despise him. And, by doing such despicable deeds in Shatner's name he makes MOABites despise the real Shatner. That is the Anti-Shatner's goal - to destroy the real Shatner by being an asshole and blaming it on poor old Bill.

So, if I may be allowed to rephrase my original suggestion...










DEATH
TO THE
ANTI-SHATNER!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM

Well, now. That's really quite good. More the kind of quality I expected from you, Amos. I am impressed. You wouldn't mind if I borrow some of it for my next dramatic part? I can just see it now...

THE SCENE: A desolate rock-strewn area on some distant planet (or in Arizona). In the foreground we see the hero (played by me) confronting a group of alien heavies led by a pompous creature named "Krill" or something like that...a fellow with lots of head sculpts and prosthetics.

OUR HERO (me) speaks (*ahem*): Krill!...you're...a poor man's cheap escape from his own irresponsibility, a fantasy looking for a reality to replace, an ineptitude is search of a victim. You...think that victim is me. Ha! You're a mere drop of water in the waste pipe of those who do the real work of life. You're...a chicken scratching on the Page of existence. You're...a minor typographical anomaly, a speck of aberrant dust in the long view of the cosmos. You...have as much weight in the fate of the galaxy as you have in the fate of my starship. That's none, mister. Zippo. Nada. You...are a mote of dust in the mighty River of Life. You...are not suited to sneer, condemn, or judge me and my crew. You're...not even suited to cleaning the waste bays on an interplanetary junk scow. Now, go off and see to your collection of lace doilies before I...am forced to get tough with you!

(You'll note that I shortened it a bit. Brevity is more effective than endless hyperbole, and modern audiences have a short attention span. Thanks, buddy. This is going to sound absolutely great, and I've been shut out of Oscar night for too long. Here's a tip: you don't necessarily have to be "original" to succeed. You just have to know what works and when to do it.)

Mr Bill


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM

Oh, my! Impressive verbiage, Amos, impressive! I wonder if the Great Man will deign to respond? Wow. Even Spock would have raised his eyebrows in the face of that verbal assault! (and then have calmly pointed out some logical inconsistencies in it, no doubt...) As for McCoy, well, he would just have started frothing at the mouth or taken a swing at you. :-) What will Captain Kirk do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM

You, sir, are a poor man's cheap escape from his own irresponsibility, a fantasy looking for a reality to replace, an ineptitude is search of a victim. You are a drop of graywater in the waste pipe of those who do the real work of life and a chicken scratching on the Page of Real Life itself, a minor typographical anomaly, a speck of aberrant dust in the long view of the cosmos. You have as much weight in the fate of the MOAB as you have in the fate of the Grand Pyramid. You are a fleck of robin's piss in the mighty River of Life, and you are not suited to sneer, condemn, or even bow down to or cavil in front of or tremble before or nod at one of the mighty souls who have built these powerful cyberhalls of Discourse, the mighty MOAB. Your accomplishments are dust on the floors of the MOABS galleries, a mote in a sunbeam compared to the infinite potential light which is always the divine attribute of MOABidity. You are not suited or even capable of shining a light on Her Modernity Rustic Rebel or any of her magical ilk here on the MOAB, including Carol the Crapper Sailor and the Brilliant Major SRS.

So go off and see if you can by dint of unparalleled and unprecedented exertion move your cranium far enough out of its nether receptacle to be able to see where you really are, because it will require some severe readjustment. Once you do that I am sure you will go far, and I request that you start soon.

Thanks, Bill.

I knew you would understand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:03 PM

Amos, you are getting a bit incoherent. I didn't expect that of you. Too many scotch & sodas tonight? You falsely accuse moi of taking a bead on Rustic Rebel. Not so! Rustic Rebel had already indicated an extreme prurient interest in me prior to my post, and I was simply responding as requested. I aim to please...and that, my friend, is the route to success. Write that down in your little diary and ponder it.

Khandu - Graciously said, your highness! I accept and return your forgiveness, because I realize that you are among my true hardcore fans...the ones who will put up with just about any amount of BS from moi. :>)

Bee-dubya-ell...man, you are one lame-ass son of a sea cook. Do you really think you can intimidate a man who has fought off alien lifeforms from every section of the galaxy, locked lips with phaser-wielding Romulan babes, and survived a couple of seasons of T.J.Hooker with his reputation more or less intact???? Buzz off, you silly chicken-sexer. I shrug you off like a gnat. Go back to the Ozarks and make some more homebrew.

This thread was dying a slow death, and I have revived it. Be grateful.

Mr Bill


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:16 PM

Anyone who comes moseying in to these parts and just with not so much as a howdy do takes a bead on our own happy-hippie nude-thread-walking Rustic Rebel, just barges on it, is aiming for one heap of trouble son, and I don't mean urine trouble, I mean sweating bullets-and-wishing-yore-ma-wuz-around kinda trouble and that includes mister Big City Fancy Pants Get a Life I was on TV Pretending Shatner.

Just so that is all perfectly clear.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM

Shatner has over-stepped his bounds.
Around post 1900, he insulted the King. Worse, he stole post 2000, which should have been posted by a representative of the Royal Throne (khandu, Tweed, bwl, Rustic Rebel, Amos, Little Hawk, Rap or even Everyone's Royal Bidet!)(or any MOABite!).
But...he is entertaining & he does add some "excitement" to MOAB, so my incliniation is to think that death is a bit harsh!

Also, he is the GREAT MAN, without equal.

I think his transgressions should be forgiven.

Besides, I don't want to be the one to say, "He's dead, Jim."!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 08:31 PM

I have been refraining from posting this, but now there can be no doubt about it....






















SHATNER







MUST







DIE!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 08:09 PM

What a class act...the dumbass posts to a thread that he decries other people for posting to...and he can't even spell "dumbass"! LOL! Just who IS the dumbass around here anyway? And why can't he ignore this thread if he detests it so? It's not like there aren't other things to do, for God's sake. Get a life, you idiot!

History note: BTW, do you people know that I am the guy credited with inventing and popularizing the phrase "Get a life!" many years ago in a skit on Saturday Night Live? I was hosting the program at the time...Guest hosting it, to be exact. This was only one of the numerous occasions on which I made history.

But...after delivering that gut-wrenching scream on the 2000th post (and it was better even than that screech Dean did the other day), I am experiencing a sort of warm glow...an afterglow...the kind of thing you experience after a profound emotional catharsis...or really good sex.

I feel great. Rustic Rebel, I understand your position perfectly. Don't think I don't. So...just for you...

YEEEIEE-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:43 PM

Four things, GUEST:

1) If someone held a gun to your head and forced you to open the thread, you should refrain from associating with them in the future.

2) By posting to this thread, you yourself have achieved exactly the opposite of your stated goal. You have delayed, not hastened, its decline.

3) It's "dumbasses" with a "b". If you're going to insult people at least spell the insult correctly.

4) This thread has had over 2000 posts and only one has been made by a dick-head anonymous troll. It must not bother too many people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:14 PM

Kill MOAB?

I'd rather kill you, snide-box!

It is not for you, MOAB isn't, that is clear. It requires a high capacity for appreciation to even go through the thread!

Aroint!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:30 PM

It is becoming clear that everyone is tired of this pointless, stupid thread. Only a handful of dumasses post to this thing, apparently for no other reason than keeping it on the board.
Why not give it up and let it die? Surely there are some useful threads you could post to.
Really, just look at yourselves. Your posts are banal at best. Are
you impressing one another with your wit? What is this? Some kind of mutual mental masturbation.
Just look at the humor(?) in the first hundred posts, and compare it with the humor of the last 100.
Quite a difference, eh?

Give it up and kill this thread!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 03:16 AM

YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!
That is what I looked forward too? That is what I anticipated as being the finest post on the cafe in the history the Mudcat Cafe?
Although it being a rather manly grunt of sorts.... Right on you man.... yes, you are the man... you created in me feelings that no other can, you animal you.
I want you. That is all there is to it. Nothing more to say. I want a grunting man that pretends to be William Shatner. I want a man who speaks little and when he does he speaks it in broken sentences. That fuckin' turns me on. I cannot tell you how much that does for me you little shit who went and said...YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!! on the most famous post of mudcat history. Oh baby-oh baby-oh baby....do it again and make me want you more...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Leonard Nimoy
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM

Bill,
I find that your post 2000 was an illogical post and one would have to assume it was your testicles that were being yanked.

It appears that you have based all of your energy into breeding tribbles which would be highly unethical and a much more suitable position for DeForest Kelley in my estimation.

I have found a suitable webpage for anyone on this public forum to investigate you and your corrupt ways. Upon viewing this no further correspondence will be deemed necessary.

Live long and prosper.

Leonard


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:25 PM

You may not have to go that far. I think he has a ranch in Tennessee, last I heard. Then there's Hollywood. You could join the legions of people who stalk William Shatner at Star Trek Conventions. All kinds of possibilities.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM

EXERPT FROM POST: Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:26 AM

As for who actually makes the 2000th post, anybody but William Shatner or Gargoyle is fine with me.

Well.....

Just hadda go an' do it anyway, din'tcha? Five billion friggin' people on the planet and who the hell gets the M2K post? William Friggin' Shatner!

I'm startin' t' git sorta angry here. Tell ya whut I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go round up the Simple-minded White Alabama Trailertrash boys (th' SWAT Team) an' we gonna make us a liddle road trip up t' wherever it is in Soviet Canuckstan this Shatner boy lives an' we gonna open up a large economy industrial size can of Whoopass on that sumbitch. Thar ain't no excuse fer goin' an' messin' up people's fun like that.

An', lissen up, Shat boy, don' go tryin' t' pull none of that phaser an' photon torpedo shit neither. That shit only works in them sorry-ass movies you an' that pointy-eared fucker useta make. This here's real life an' yore lookin at one pissed off southern boy. Ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:59 PM

2003 the birthyear for MOAB!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:48 PM

ODE TO THE MOAB UPON ITS 2000TH POST

When MOAB reached its thousandth post
I wrote a pome, said 'twas the most
That any thread had ever had
It warn't too shabby, not too bad.

It now has that thousand times two.
'Cause some folks don't have shit to do
'Cept shoot the breeze and waste their times
With foolishness and goofy rhymes.

Yes, MOAB it continues on.
The Goddammed thing just won't be gone!
A dream from which we cannot wake,
A never-ending stomachache.

It now looks like it may be true
That this thread never will be through!
So, what the hell? Don't buck the tide.
Just grab yer nuts* and enjoy the ride!


* Female MOABites are excused from grabbing their nuts since they generally are not equipped with them. They may grab whatever parts of their own anatomies they wish, or they may grab the nuts of a male friend or companion. It is suggested that they not grab the nuts of a perfect stranger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:38 PM

This could be the last MOAB post. I can feel the Earth move under my feet, it's starting the inward death spiral.

What's that I hear? "Thus Spoke Zarathustra?"

Dave...Dave....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:34 PM

YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!

(match that, Dean!)

Mr Bill


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Run!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:33 PM

COMES!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Look out!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

It....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Uh-oh!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

Here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:20 PM

In nineteen hundred and ninety-six
Found a pile of dynamite sticks
Found a pile of dynamite sticks
Workin' in the library....

Thank God it's two thousand and four! When I found those dynamite sticks I didn't think I'd make it this far. Damned things were capped, fused, and sweatin' nitro. And the Big Boss said to move 'em on. So I picked 'em up and carried them to the curb, outside the library. Stumbled, tripped on a kid in the children's room. The resulting explosion of forty sticks of 60% blew the children's room to bits and me along with it. People saw me everywhere for days afterward. I've been dead for eight years now, and I don't miss it at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:57 AM

It was 1995,
We fought to remember we were atill alive
We sat around and said "How nifty!
I still feel twenty, but I'm fifty!"

And "How is it those too young to know
Are a portion of the world that always seems to grow?"

And those who remember Kennedy being shot
Are fewer than those who
For one reason or another
Can not?

ANd why do our pates shine, and our wrists twitch?
I'm tellin' ya man,
Middle age is a pure-dee bitch!

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:10 AM

As we get closer and closer to M2K, I'm impressed by the restraint shown by the MOAB community. Any other bunch of yo-yos heading toward a landmark as important as M2K would be stumbling all over themselves and filling the thread with totally gratuitous posts in their egotistical attempts to be the one to actually make the landmark post. But not this bunch of yo-yos! No sir! We know all about delayed gratification. We're in no rush to get someplace that probably won't live up to our expectations anyway. We're adults. We know how to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. And, yes, when the destination has been reached we'll probably experience a slight tinge of regret that the journey has ended.

Ah, bullshit, you old fart! You're as fulla shit as a constipated Christmas goose. You wanna be the one to make that 2000th post! Go on. Admit it. This post is just as gratuitous as it can be. What've you actually said here? Nothing. Tryin' to sound like you've got somethin' to say when all you're really doin' is pushin' the thread one post closer to 2000. You're gettin' worse, Buddy. Just keep pushin' and we'll get you one of these days, you old sumbitch!

Oh, yeah? Fuck off you little purple-talkin' prick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

Lhord Khancre sez...See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!


I am confhazed and excommunicated by this utterance yore Headness! Could you escalate this degree so thet a common numbnutz like myself an' the obvthers here may excrete the true meaning obv that Royal Missile? I am sartin that there iz great portents obv somethin constrained within it but am habving trouble wif putting it into fhocus somehow.
Thanks for enny help or delightenment you may choose to shed.

Yerz,
Tweed
K.O.T.R.Obv.T.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

1992-RIP GJW!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM

It was 1991,
We set out to have some fun
I remember well, or so it seems today,
I was only forty-six
Still too young to cross the Styx
I was sure I'd get my kicks (if I drank enough) that day

But I woke up with my hands around the aspirin bottle
Drinking water like a desert on the double
Middle age is such a bitch! Drink a lottle
And you'll end up losing Monday for your trouble

(Repeat for the rest of the 90's in order).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM

1990. I remember 1990. I think I remember 1990, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:36 PM

The correct term is "M2K"!
Bear with me & I shall calm your skewed nerves!
Why does the rear end of a looooong train travel faster than the engine?
Because it has farther to go to reach the depot!
Now apply that to M2K & you will see that we Moabites have nothing to fear! Nada!Zilch! Nil!

See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!

I'll sit quietly a moment as this revelation hits you!



Am I hearing sighs of relief??

SEE! By arriving at the SAME TIME, we have made time stand still!!!!
& since time stands still....


WE WILL NEVER GET THERE!!!!!

"Rest your weary souls,
The King wears no new clothes" (H.L. Wigley c:1916)

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:55 PM

Man, the day that Leedle Hack is reduced to sputtering grade-school dactyls (especially one so far out on the fringe it deserves to be called a peri-dactyl) and is otherwise at a loss for words -- that is a day woth seeing!! I am deeply stirred to thnk such a day has finally come, brothers and sisters. Lo how the MOAB shineth!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM

I am so overwhelmed at the thought of the impending disaster on MP2K that all I can do is paste this in from the Popeye thread:

I'm Donald the Disney duck
I pilot a garbage truck
I almost go crazy
When thinking of Daisy
6 decades and STILL NO F------!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM

I have a pencil on my desk from The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. I have no idea how it got here. I've never been to The Salvador Dali Museum. In fact, I've only been to St. Peterburg once and all I did then was play for a contra dance and drive back to my friend's house across the Bay in Tampa.

In fact, I have no idea how any of the pencils in my house got here. I haven't bought a pencil since 1970, yet I never run out of them. Perhaps my house is a locus to which other people's lost pencils are drawn.

If you are missing any pencils, please PM me with descriptions and I'll see if I have them. Honest, I didn't take them on purpose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM

No, my eyes are bloodshot blue.

Amos posted 1984!!! Hail, Big Brother!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:38 PM

Right, Rap. You're one of those brown-eyed guys, aren't ya??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM

It has to do with the Titius-Bode Law, Amos, and that "Natura vaccuumae abhorret."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:43 PM

Hah!!! I have been preparing for M2K, P2K or whatever you wanna call it for ten days already! I'm a country boy and "A Country Boy will Survive"!

Excerpt from post of Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:33 PM

"In anticipation of M2K I have examined the five-gallon bucket of dried soybeans and the five-gallon bucket of dried lentils that my friend Trish's in-laws bought in anticipation of starving to death after Y2K. When it became apparent that the supply of Big Macs would remain uninterrupted they decided they really don't like soybeans and lentils anyway and, somehow, the damned things wound up in my toolshed. They appear to be edible, and if M2K shuts the world down I won't starve, though I must admit that I have sampled the soybeans and would rather just go right to the source and eat the dirt they were grown in instead."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

I'm so exhausted from laughter from reading those last 7 posts, I too fear what is to come.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:02 PM

I've herad there may be a Post2000 bug.

because of the way that Mudcat has been programmed, if there are 2000 posts to this thread, the whole program for this site will break down. and as this site is linked into so many other sites, it will trigger a Post2000bug which will cause every computer in the owrld to break down, electricty systems to short, and acid rain to fall.

I suggest storing canned food, bottled water, a can opener, and a modem.

best wishes

freda

ps I will be living in a rainforest in the top end of Australia until it all blows over...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:48 AM

Oh, I get it...lesssee -- the disappearance of Earth reduces the mass in the total of orbits 1, 2 and 3 and therefore the outerplanets arer inclined to accelerate outward, but they ar elimited by the order-of-magnitude-difference of the star Sol's attractive force so they then begin acceleratin inward; although their outward acceleration was insifficient to escape the attraction of Sol, their inward acceleration is AIDED by Sol so they are more than able to slip inward in spite of their continuing outer-bound acceleration from centripetal momentum, and thus find their way heading for the Sun in spite of the fact that there is less total attraction in the neighborhood than there uised to be. Right?? But there is still a vector of deflection left over fromt heir iearlier orbit which just happens to find its own natural harmonic balance at the next orbit inward, a point at which the deflection establishes outward force exactly balanced by the attractive force combinations of Sol and planets nearer to it than (x), the planet under consideration. PLanet X therefore established a new rotational path and a new orbital path and a new series of adventures begins. Tune in next week for the latest installment in "Adventures of Carb O'Hydrate in Space: Chapter XXXCCCIX: The Carbon Oxygen Engine Reborn", as Mars relocates and finds itself once again a hotbed of moisture, sunlight, growth and inexplicable life-forms!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:26 AM

First, let's have some agreement on terminology here. Shall we call the 2000th post P2K for "Post 2000" or M2K for "MOAB 2000"? I had been calling it M2K, but if P2K is more to everyone else's liking, that's fine. Or if everyone wants to call it something different I guess that's okay too. Actually, calling it "Shrimp with Lobster Sauce" or "The Third Law of Thermodynamics" is all right if that's what you really want to do. Nobody else would be able to understand what the fuck you're talking about but, hey, whatever floats your boat.

As for who actually makes the 2000th post, anybody but William Shatner or Gargoyle is fine with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:17 AM

The gravity isn't reduced; the Sun will pull them in and they will find stable orbits one slot in (so to speak). Amos, you're still fettered with Newtonian ideas of gravity, that it's tied to mass. Mass only creates a "gravity well", much like a rock dropped on a rubber sheet. Try to grasp gravity and mass as individual entities, seperate from each other, ying and yang, eternally circling, eternally seperate and distinct. Sit on the floor wearing only a loincloth, your legs crossed, your eyes closed, your thumbs touching your middle fingers. Now clear you mind of all the Newtonian crap, like mass and gravity being mutually dependent. Are you doing all this? If so, how are you reading this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:23 AM

The planets outward from where Earth used to be will slowly, slowly spiral in

Explain how reducing the mass near the center of a balanced system will increase the attraction in the outer reaches of that system, would you? I must have missed it...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

I am buying canned corn and spam and bottled water in anticlapation obv the big crash...Wo unto us all, where iz the khing? He allus knows what to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

What does it matter who posts P2K? Posting will only work up to post 1999 and the next post will crash not only MOAB, but will bring the entire Internet, e-commerce, nearly ALL businesses, governments around the world, world-wide commerce and transportation, militaries, and 'most everything except the Yaheri-Theesa people of West Umpagug to their knees.

Then, to compound the chaos caused by the MOAB Millenium Bug, either the Galactic Overlord or Moloch or maybe freds or perhaps Big Daddy His Own Self will say "Screw it, this ain't workin' out like I'd hoped" and end the world.

The moon will bobble a bit and eventually crash into the Sun. The planets outward from where Earth used to be will slowly, slowly spiral in. Mars will take up Earth's old orbit, Jupiter will take up Mars', and so on. Harmony and Balance will be restored. And the Solar System will continue along just as if Earth had never existed.

All because of P2K at MOAB.

(sniff!) Does a feller proud to be part of it all....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 02:14 AM

Post 1973. That means I have lessoned the posts to 2000, to 27 posts.
I think between now and 2000 posts we should, as a community of bullshitters, decide who is going to post the most remembered post- 2000.
Now personally I believe the person who does it, should have some flair, some major ability to really pull a bullshit, and some kind of strange humor that can interact with the majority of the ilk.
I believe it should be the most valuable piece of bullshit that has ever been posted on the mudcat cafe, in it's entire existence!
A piece that will survive deletion!
The piece that will live forever in the minds of MOABITES.
Who will bow down to this honor I ask?
I have no gumption to have such an honor, but... I know deep in my heart that there are many of the MOAB ilk that can hold up to this honor and distinction.
The question is... who will it be and what kind of bullshit are you going to feed us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:33 AM

Welcome to Post #1972. We hope you have a pleasant stay and will come back and visit us again real soon.

It's always a pleasure to see you here at Post #1972.


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