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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 10 Oct 06 - 03:23 PM
Amos 10 Oct 06 - 03:28 PM
Leadfingers 10 Oct 06 - 03:32 PM
Leadfingers 10 Oct 06 - 03:32 PM
MMario 10 Oct 06 - 03:45 PM
Amos 10 Oct 06 - 03:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Oct 06 - 05:49 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 06 - 07:25 PM
Amos 10 Oct 06 - 07:57 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Oct 06 - 08:43 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Oct 06 - 08:54 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 06 - 09:25 PM
Amos 10 Oct 06 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 06 - 10:53 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 06 - 08:49 AM
Bunnahabhain 11 Oct 06 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 06 - 09:24 AM
Bunnahabhain 11 Oct 06 - 09:40 AM
Acme 11 Oct 06 - 09:54 AM
MMario 11 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM
Bunnahabhain 11 Oct 06 - 10:11 AM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 12:54 PM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 01:09 PM
MMario 11 Oct 06 - 01:11 PM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 01:26 PM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 04:01 PM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 08:25 PM
Acme 11 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 06 - 09:50 PM
Amos 11 Oct 06 - 11:41 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Oct 06 - 06:25 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 09:06 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Oct 06 - 10:07 AM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 10:54 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Oct 06 - 11:18 AM
Acme 12 Oct 06 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 12:50 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 01:10 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 01:45 PM
Acme 12 Oct 06 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 03:16 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 06:32 PM
frogprince 12 Oct 06 - 07:13 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 06 - 09:53 PM
Amos 12 Oct 06 - 10:50 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:23 PM

Sir, the achievement of DOMhood is not something to be taken lightly. Some are born to it, some acquire it naturally, and yet others strive for it all their lives and never achieve anything more than a slap or a jail sentence.

The true DOM is not focused exclusively on one part of the body, but enjoys the gestalt, taking in modern terms a holistic appreciation. A DOM is not to be denigrated or derided as a simple "pervert" with "only one thing" on his mind.

A DOM does not wear ribbons or something like the gowns worn in the groves of Academe, it is not necessary (and sometimes it could even be dangeroous) for a true DOM has no need to magnify the light he shines before men.

Indeed, in the entire world there is only one thing that a true DOM fears, and that is meeting up with a DOW.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:28 PM

LOL!!! Ho!!! Thou dost give yourself the lie in fact,
But taken with a jest,a grin,
Who could not forgive a tale,
That lets the inner beast come out,
While taking others in?

Go to, you are a saucy varlet!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:32 PM

I HAVE to try !!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:32 PM

14400 !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:45 PM

that's a hundred gross!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:52 PM

Oh, fie that such a paltry visitor should take Fayre Mothere's mantle, and passing like a jackdaw, snatch it off to his own nest's lining. For shame, Leadfingers, that thou shouldst so light-fingered act. Give us back that number, I pray you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 05:49 PM

How do you have a lightfingered leadfingers? The two must be mutally exclusive, one would think.

Thieving, no good, low down varment migh be better, but that just makes him sound like a member of the Idaho legion....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 07:25 PM

The Idaho Legion might be composed of surly, low-down, dirty-minded, drunken, bushwhacking, dry-gulching, egg-sucking, foul-mouthed, lying, ham-handed, saddle-sniffing, brand-changing, unlearned, whey-faced, pockmarked, Falstaffian, snotty-nosed, greenhorn, illiterate rapscallions, but they are not thieving anything.

Sir, you have given the Legion the lie. Either retract it and humbly apologize in public, or my friends will call up you when they sober up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 07:57 PM

I think Rapaire means "my friends will call up you when up they sober..."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 08:43 PM

Nahh, they won't fit enough beer in the cab of the truck, so they'll get bored and give up before they get here. It's about 13000 miles as the crow flies.

He doesn't mean when they sober up, as it isn't going to happen..l.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 08:54 PM

Plus they'll never find me. This evening, I ended up hiding in 1746. We were dancing minuets for some reason. They're not easy.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 09:25 PM

Three of them are sober as I type this, and, acting as my Seconds, send this message (I include the spellings they dictate):

You, the guy known as Bunnahabhain er somethin like that there unpronounsible word, have done gone and insultid the Idaho Legion by callin the members thereov "theiving" even though ain't none of us ever took nothin that didn't belong to us or somebody we knew wouldn't mind us borroing it. This here insult kin only be washed away by an objekt apolojee from you on your knees an in publik er by yer blood flowen frum yer death wond. Since we are the agrieved parties akordioning to the "Code Duelo" we git the choice of weepons and we chose Rapaire here to be our champeen and to advenge the Honor of the Idaho Legion with swords and/or pistols and he gits to use Rattlesnake Stan's Colt's .45 revolver fer his pistol and he kin furnish his own sword he says.

We want to meat on nutrill ground and since yer really far away we appoint the guy known as Leadfingers as our proxy and Rapaire's proxy in this here duel to the death. You guys work it out and let us know how it comes out.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 10:41 PM

That there is jest a brilliant solution. I have a real long-standing offense with W Bush, and I think I will arrange a similar substitution an' let him and Richard "The Dick" Cheney stand in for against each other until they do each other in for good.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 10:53 PM

Well, the Legion is a little short of cash right now, what with the Oktoberfest, the Septemberfest, the Julyfest, and all those things every month. And while they could afford to send me to Scotland I flatly refused to be nailed into the crate, even with their offer of a clean bucket and a fourteen course dinner (to them that means a package of weiners and a six-pack). Besides, knowing them they'd probably mark it wrong-end-up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 08:49 AM

Mom? Did you know that today is my wife's birthday? Wadcha git her? Is it something I can use?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:14 AM

Patience. That's always useful...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:24 AM

Has Leadfingers contacted you yet about the duel to the death? If he hasn't you might want to ring him up and tell him about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:40 AM

You mean the horses head on the pillow? I just thought that was lunch...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:54 AM

Mom asks everyone to take a moment to sing "Happy Birthday" to Pat. She promises not to wince if anyone is off-key (but she might gently thwack them upside the head with her rolled up morning newspaper if they're standing too close to her when they do it).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:55 AM

auspicious natal day!, Noble Lady!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 10:11 AM

That was me miming. It is generally agreed it is preferable to my singing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 12:54 PM

WHich one is Pat? I( lost track.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 01:09 PM

Oh, THAT Pat!!!!! How come Stilly is putting in the reminder instead of Noble Husband?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 01:11 PM

Cuz MOM made the request - and I don't think she's talking to Rapaire today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 01:26 PM

But, Rapaire is always signing himself off as "Mom's favorite"!! Why wouldn't she talk to him? Has he run away again? Stayed out all night in a cheap hootch house? Been run out of town for gambling debts? Shotgun wedding? What????


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 04:01 PM

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAT!!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 08:25 PM

Darn kids. Ya start sinking down toward oblivion, and only Amos shows up to save ya.


Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:03 PM

Long day today, good thing Amos came along. Early to bed, if I get my way. I'll be Mom's favorite tonight because I won't be underfoot around the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 09:50 PM

My wife Pat, who is currently in DC, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. Being a dutiful spouse I copy 'n' pasted all of them and emailed 'em to her.

And she was appreciative. Really. I'm not making this up. My nickname when I was growing up was "Truthful James." I won the gold star every year I was in grade school for honesty. I would never, ever, tell a lie.

So Pat says, "Thanks for the good wishes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 11:41 PM

Holy Moly, Mom!! Look at THIS:

The Athena collaboration, an
experimental group working at the CERN lab in Geneva, has measured
chemical reactions involving antiprotonic hydrogen, a bound object
consisting of a negatively charged antiproton paired with a
positively charged proton. This composite object, which can also be
called protonium, eventually annihilates itself, creating an even
number of telltale charged pions. Normally the annihilation comes
about in a trillionth of a second, but in the Athena apparatus (and
its very thorough vacuum conditions) the duration is a whopping
millionth of a second. The protonium comes about in the following
way. First, antiprotons are created in CERN?s proton synchrotron by
smashing protons into a thin target. The resultant antiprotons then
undergo the deceleration, from 97% down to 10% the speed of light.
Several more stages of cooling, including immersion in a bath of
slow electrons, brings the antiprotons to a point where they can be
caught in Athena?s electrostatic trap. This allows the researchers
to study then, for the first time, a chemical reaction between the
simplest antimatter ion---the antiproton---and the simplest matter
molecular ion, namely H2+ (two H atoms with one electron missing).
Joining these two ions results in the protonium plus a neutral
hydrogen atom (see figure at http://www.aip.org/png/2006/269.htm ).
This represents the first antimatter-matter chemistry, if you don?t
count the interaction of positrons (anti-electrons) with ordinary
matter. (Previously antiprotons have been inserted into helium atoms
but this did not really constitute ?chemistry? since the antiprotons
merely replaced an electron in the helium atom.)
According to Nicola Zurlo of the Universita? di Brescia
(zurlo@bs.infn.it) and her colleagues, the experimental output from
the eventual protonium annihilation (see depiction at
www.aip.org/png) allowed the Athena scientists to deduce that the
principal quantum number (denoted by the letter n) of the protonium
had an average value of 70 rather than the expected value of 30.
Furthermore, the angular momentum of the protonium was typically
much lower than expected---perhaps because of the low relative
velocity at which the matter and antimatter ions approached each
other before reaction.



70!!!! 70!!!!
Just imagine that!! Those science fellers are tops!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 06:25 AM

You'll have to excuse me from looking after mom over the weekend, we're galavanting off to Here Unfortunatly, we don't have the time, or the group to get up into the really interesting bits of the Cairngorms, but it could snap into proper winter up on the tops at any time, and our most experinced mountain leader is 6 months preganant...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 09:06 AM

Wow, Amos!

...deceleration, from 97% down to 10% the speed of light.

I'd sure hate to have to pay for THAT brake job! Do they do it by pumping the brakes like you're supposed to or by just standing on the pedal?

Bunn, that looks like prime water for catfish. I'll bet there's some big one in there. Stinkbait works great, especially on a trotline or if you're jugging. If you don't have any, try cottonseed cake or raw liver. And there ain't nothin' like fried catfish and hushpuppies to help build a strong baby. Just make sure you take lots of lard and cornmeal with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 10:07 AM

It has trout, some Arctic char, maybe salmon, but not catfish, I wouldn't think. The only catfish found in Britian is the european catfish, which was introduced in the 19th Century, and is mainly found in southern England.

By existing for one millionth of a second it counts as proper chemistry ?!?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 10:54 AM

Well, Bunn, consider the math: one trillionth of a second is obviously too fast to even think. Yet here we are debating about a millionth, with no qualms. That qualifies, I would say. 'Course, ti depends on what you mean by "proper".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 11:18 AM

Proper science is giving something six extra legs, and then blowing it up.

From one of the discworlds, and a good a definition as you're going to find.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 11:48 AM

Catfish, bah! That looks like a trout lake. Maybe even a little fly fishing in that water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 12:50 PM

Nope, wrong in one. Proper science consists of blowing it up, setting it on fire (same thing, only slower), or creating a really massive stink.

I know catfish water when I see it, and that's catfish water. Probably some nice channel cats, maybe even some blues. And if folks don't think that there have ever been catfish in Scotland I'll betcha there's some real whoppers in there 'cause it's never been fished for cat. Probably even a new national record for catfish in Scotland. I'd try a trotline, myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 01:00 PM

I think Rapaire has been too long in thrall to the Sign of the Catfish. Mayhap some good spirit will come and free him from his walking dream, that he may learn of the many kinds of fish in the world, and their habitations in it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 01:10 PM

There's only two kinds of fish in the world, Amos: them you kin eat and them that eat you.

I go fer the first kind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 01:45 PM

I would not have thought from your pictures that you were vulnerable to being eaten by trout, but I guess you can do anything with Photoshop these days....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 03:06 PM

There's a giant squid who has been on the lookout for him for ages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 03:16 PM

Yeah, well, ya paint one squid green and all of 'em become your enemies. And after all I've done for them, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 05:35 PM

Yeah, I believe pumas share those very same sentiments...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM

I have never, ever painted a puma


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM

green or any other color.

14441!!! Palindrome!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 06:32 PM

If you had it would quickly become clear which of you was the painter....

I got friends in high places,
and pals in Drøme, and I draw aces
When I go for a pass
Up in Montparnasse.
I've even got a friend
Out by Land's End,
Who takes me home.
But most of all,
I miss my pal in Drøme.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 07:13 PM

Why don't they call a "palindrome" something like a "palinilap" instead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 08:00 PM

Because, silly, there is no such place as Ilap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 09:53 PM

Amos! Have you never heard of

...the face that launched a thousand ships
And toppled the topless towers of Ilium?


Well, Ilium* was a made-up name for the town of Ilap, which was well known a sleaze bag of a place. Problem was, ol' Jethro Homer, the blind poet, couldn't rhyme Ilap. With what? Jalap?   So when Chris Marlowe wrote about Big Johnny Faustus and his deal with the Capo of the Red Gang, he'd have to write something like

...the result of a thousand pills of Jalap
And buried the topless bars of Ilap


at the very least it wouldn't have been very flattering to Helen, would it?







*Back in Jethro Homer's time "Ilium" was the name of an ingredient in toothpaste. Ilium has the chemical compostion HF, and although it did both whiten teeth and supply fluoride it wasn't used for very long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 10:50 PM

Old Marlowe wrote "burned", not toppled.

Helen passes across the stage and so inspires Faustus to speak the famous lines:

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?

The Old Man enters and warns Faustus to leave off his sinful ways. Faustus is not convinced and seals his fate by kissing the demonic spirit of Helen.


I suppose being on a first-name basis with every writer in history is an occupational hazard for Library People.

Anyway, Ilium is nowhere near Ilap, as which there is no such place up at which to put.

A


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