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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 29 Jul 11 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 11:53 AM
Amos 29 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM
Acme 29 Jul 11 - 10:09 AM
Amos 29 Jul 11 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 11 - 09:27 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 12:32 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 06:52 PM
Amos 28 Jul 11 - 05:30 PM
gnu 28 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM
MMario 28 Jul 11 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 02:20 PM
Amos 28 Jul 11 - 10:42 AM
MMario 28 Jul 11 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 09:43 AM
Acme 28 Jul 11 - 09:19 AM
Eiseley 28 Jul 11 - 09:16 AM
Acme 28 Jul 11 - 12:28 AM
Amos 28 Jul 11 - 12:24 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 11 - 12:06 AM
Amos 27 Jul 11 - 11:38 PM
Eiseley 27 Jul 11 - 10:57 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 09:18 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 07:13 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 06:54 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 05:47 PM
Amos 27 Jul 11 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 04:10 PM
Amos 27 Jul 11 - 03:53 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 03:47 PM
Amos 27 Jul 11 - 03:42 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jul 11 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 02:08 PM
Amos 27 Jul 11 - 01:46 PM
Acme 27 Jul 11 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 10:18 AM
Eiseley 27 Jul 11 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 11 - 01:02 AM
Acme 26 Jul 11 - 11:27 PM
Amos 26 Jul 11 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 11 - 07:05 PM
GUEST,Angelique Forget 26 Jul 11 - 06:40 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 11 - 06:25 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:48 PM

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Mark Twain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 11:53 AM

Nobody's perfect. ;-) Mark Twain included.

When I say that we are all One in Spirit, I mean that we're all part of a singularity, that singularity being everything...or the Unmanifest...or the Totality...or the Alpha and the Omega...or God...or the continuum...or whatever one wishes to call it. No word can adequately define it.

That doesn't mean we don't have individuality. We are as drops in an ocean. Each drop has individuality when you remove it AS a drop and set it aside. Then you can see it. When it's in the ocean, you can't see it, you just see the ocean, but it still exists. Its individuality occurs the moment it becomes aware of itself as apart from the rest of the ocean. Does its individuality vanish when it rejoins the ocean?

I don't know. Maybe so. Maybe not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM

The assertion that "all ideas are second-hand" is oxymoronic, self-contradictory, and unsupportable. I understand very well what the swamp of notions Mister Twain refers to is and why it looks like that, but he just missed the boat on that one. Too much absinthe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 10:09 AM

Mike, did you transcribe that Twain remark or pick it up from a site? I'd like to add that to some notes on my facebook page. And read more of these letters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 10:05 AM

I think we are all linked, in more ways than we are even comfortable with. But I do not think we are all one in spirit. Except by an occasional act of will.

Anyway, Mark Twain in this instance is wrong. I never thought I would say so, but the poresence of all the nopise and connectedness in the universe does not diminish in any way the spark of the individual as his own source.

That's like saying that because everything is mixed up in the blender, there cannot possibly be a cook.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 09:27 AM

I intend to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:32 AM

I don't see a problem with that, because we are all One in Spirit anyway. So we all share in whatever gets created, but someone gets official recognition for it, that's all. Or they don't. As the case may be. ;-)

Don't worry about it! Just keep on being creative.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 10:57 PM

...substantially all ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a million outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer with a pride and satisfaction born of the superstition that he originated them; whereas there is not a rag of originality about them anywhere except the little discoloration they get from his mental and moral calibre and his temperament, which is revealed in characteristics of phrasing. . . . It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone, or any other Important thing-- and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite--that is all he did.

In 1868 I read Dr. Holmes's poems, in the Sandwich Islands. A year and a half later I stole his dedication, without knowing it, and used it to dedicate my "Innocents Abroad" with. Ten years afterward I was talking with Dr. Holmes about it. He was not an ignorant ass--no, not he; . . . and so when I said, "I know now where I stole, but who did you steal it from?" he said, "I don't remember; I only know I stole it from somebody, because I have never originated anything altogether myself, nor met anybody who had."


       - Letter by Mark Twain to Anne Macy. Reprinted in Anne Sullivan Macy, The Story Behind Helen Keller (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, Doran, and Co., 1933), p.162.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 10:40 PM

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden,   God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going ?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

'It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right.. How could I have overlooked this ? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 07:29 PM

See the other thread on this meter -- I ran some stuff through it, like a section (translated) of "Mein Kampf".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 06:52 PM

I don't think it works for anything other than English, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 05:30 PM

USing this Magic BS Meter you can tell what amount of bull you are hiding in your text. My last postr, in which I kicked two scurrilous knaves out through a broken clerestory window, was only .012 on the index, a very good sign of decent language free of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM

Big Mick is a big Mc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 02:49 PM

Exalted company!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 02:20 PM

I'm going to go and co-lead a thing with Big Mick (I think).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 10:42 AM

Yay, MM! It's easy--just be very encouraging and the attendees will do all the work for you!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 09:49 AM

Hi Mom! Amos said he wasn't going to Getaway; but now him is...

I'm gonna go too - and going to co-lead a session - this is my third attempt. One was adaquate; one was a flop. If this one flops it's my last attempt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 09:43 AM

To quote my favorite Italian poet: "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 09:19 AM

Concise - and wrong. How does "rats!" go to "rapes!" Oy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 09:16 AM

Sono sicuro che è stato eloquente e conciso.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 12:28 AM

Rammendilo! Ho scritto qualcosa ed è sparito dallo schermo! Ratti!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 12:24 AM

ANd all the above includes at least some of, or many of, or one of, the below aforementioned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 12:06 AM

Of course not, Ms MLS. It's just that I won't get sued or taken away by the Copyright Polizei and cast into some oubliette at the Library of Congress to rot while their Inquisitors put me to the Questions. Like, "My son needs a book on the Normandy Invasion but it can't have any violence in it" or "Do you have a photograph of Moses?" Horrible, horrible.

Some of the theology courses I had were Sacramental Theology, Social Theology, Scriptural Theology, and Social Justice. Some of the philosophy courses were Logic (including both traditional and symbolic), Existentialism, Classical, Cosmology, and Contemporary Philosophical Thought. Drama (as drama, as opposed to drama as literature) included Shakespeare, Modern, Ancient, Medieval, and Contemporary; some of the classes included acting various parts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 11:38 PM

Whoof!! For a minute I was beleaguered by sneering dark-garbed evil villains with snickering blades; I fought valiantly but their slurs and innuendos were more than I could bear. Suddenly, crashing through the clerestory windows on a white charger, the Lady Eiseley of the North, her wand breathing silver fire, came crashing and galloping, her noble steed breathing smoke and fire, the keen electric fire in her eyes spelling sure defeat to all minions of the Dark Side. Behold, my vitality restored, I booted the conquered vagabond knaves out the broken window and watched them plummet into the moat below.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 10:57 PM

I liked your poem, Amos.

Mr. MLS, Just because something is out of copyright doesn't mean you have the right to claim authorship. That you will claim it and are able to claim it (deceiving a few) doesn't make it right. What kind of theology did you study, or was it merely academic and not practicable?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:46 PM

Wow. It's worse than I thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:18 PM

Inch-thick lenses, and the green hair (which doesn't stop growing) makes playing the guitar, well, difficult. His complexion is sallow, he's short of breath, no vitality, has spots before his eyes in spite of the glasses, suffers from eczema, psoriasis, halitosis, liver spots, wrinkles in obscure places, and falling hair. Fainting spells are common, as is chronic diarrhea, constipation (at the same time!), burning with urination, dizziness, disorientation, enuresis, anorexia, bulimia, fatty infiltrates in the liver, chronic prostration, rheumatoid arthritis, and his toenails have grown through the ends of his shoes.

It's not a pretty picture and the doctors have told him that if he doesn't stop he might well injure his health.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 08:34 PM

No.... (shrinking back...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 07:13 PM

Have you seen his glasses and the palms of his hands?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 06:57 PM

That would amount to self-abuse, wouldn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 06:56 PM

Or are you, like my ol' buddy Al Pope, plagiarizing from yourself again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 06:54 PM

I think Amos should recognize two things.

First, if I were to plagiarize it would be a totally unconscious thing, as my mind is so filled with literature great and small that I might well not recognize the source. Secondly, Verses On The Death Of Dr. Swift was written in 1731 and published in 1739, and hence is long, long out of copyright.

There is no theft where there is no intent or all who own dictionaries would be in jail. As Jonathan Swift himself commented upon your poem, "Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 05:47 PM

I see. Well, I think it's very good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 05:34 PM

IT is a reprint from early in this very thread when Rapparree was hotly engaged in his scurrilous and nefarious sticky-fingered ways. I wrote it for the occasion. At the time, Bearded Bruce was in the habit of taking poems from MOAB and putting them into a thread about "Poetry about the Mudcat" as well.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 04:10 PM

That is marvelous, Amos! You may be a genius. (if you just composed it)

What does Bearded Bruce have to do with it?

Can I put music to it and turn it into a song?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 03:53 PM

It's not for me to say he has relapsed into such godforsaken habits of immoral conduct, LH, but the lines are so similar that some credit should have been offered.

A brief historical reminder:

I had a friend, upon a time, and a mighty friend was he.
His tongue went loop-de-loop-de-loop, and his blade went "Snicker! Snee!".
His fingers typed words of delight
Dancing like light gone mad,
But he disappeared quite late, one night,
And the story turned out bad.

It seems his door was knocked upon,
When most folks were in bed,
By two large gents in wrinkled suits
And large, and wrinkled, heads.
They said he had been singled out,
That someone Big was pissed,
Berated him as a useless lout,
And a goddamned plagiarist.

They listed tomes and poems and works
He'd borrowed for a while,
And touted up and frilled out
In inimitable style.
The said he'd never paid a dime
To those whose works he'd borrow,
And all of this was coming back,
To visit him with sorrow.

They told him he was going away,
Into the darkling deeps
Where bad men worry through the day,
And fret too much to sleep.
Where hard men break, and life is hard,
And you scramble for what you get,
And there's no such thing as e-mail,
OR a high-speed Internet.

My friend, he blanched, he paled, he flinched,
He knew that he'd done wrong,
He knew that even then his screen
Held a half-baked stolen song.
He realized then -- too late, too late --
He should have listened, way back when,
To his dear Mom; too late, too late,
He was heard from ne'er again.

And so I come to this Cafe,
To write, and to forget,
But something still recalls to me
This friend I think on yet.
I never learned if he had ever
re-crossed that chilling schism
That split him from the world he loved,
On account of plagiarism.

So good folks all, pray heed this call,
Think of this man, cast doon,
And make your good works all your own,
From your own hand, alone.
Steal not the works of other men,
Or lines of other poets;
For if you do, they'll come for you,
And everyone will know it.

Seamus Sanmerci O'Toole
Lilting the Right -- Poems from the Lexington Express
Dublin Upp Press, New York, 1937
All rights reserved except for Bearded Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 03:47 PM

Are you suggesting that the infallible and ineffable Rapparee has engaged in....(GASP!)....plaigarism?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 03:42 PM

Sigh. Best redirect your adulation to the author, one Jonathon Swift, LH.

Who also wrote:

Rapparree, locked in Bedlam knows,
How to distinguish friends from foes;
And though perhaps among the rout,
He wildly flings his filth about,
He still has gratitude and sap'ence,
To spare the folks that gave him ha'pence
Nor, in their eyes at random pisses,
But turns aside like mad Ulysses . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 03:35 PM

Heh! Pretty good stuff there, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 02:08 PM

Poor Amos, he droops apace,
You plainly find it in his face:
That old vertigo in his head,
Will never leave him, till he's dead:
Besides, his memory decays,
He recollects not what he says;
He cannot call his friends to mind;
Forgets the place where last he dined:
Plies you with stories o'er and o'er,
He told them fifty times before.
How does he fancy we can sit,
To hear his out-of-fashion wit?
But he takes up with younger folks,
Who for his wine will bear his Jokes:
Faith, he must make his stories shorter,
Or change his comrades once a quarter:
In half the time, he talks them round;
Then must another set be found.

For poetry, he's past his prime,
He takes an hour to find a rhyme:
His fire is out, his wit decayed,
His fancy sunk, his Muse a jade.
I'd have him throw away his pen;
But there's no talking to some men.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 01:46 PM

Your execrable typography did not come from Rabelais, Booque Mann. And it is most disturbing to see you have relapsed to your old ways of posting things as though they were your own, when not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 10:25 AM

We deal with paw, toenail, and occasional leg bite wounds around here. I hope the kitty heals quickly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 10:18 AM

In college, actually, including courses in French drama. Another course and I'd have had a minor in it, along with my minors in philosophy, drama, and theology (of all things).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 09:39 AM

Thanks, Stilly---I wondered where Rapparee learnt his French. I even found your secret message!

My cat had an infected paw. The vet irrigated it after some bit of trouble, and yesterday she slept the whole day on a nest of soft things the boys arranged for her. Now she is eating and drinking, and even jumped up onto the laundry table to look outside.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 11 - 01:02 AM

Mon vieux Amos simply doesn't recognize a section from Rabelais when he sees it. Well, it's hardly my problem that his education has been sorely lacking. As I've said before, I see no reason to translate something from the original simply because of the unwashed masses. Mit der Dumheit kampfen Gotter selbst vergebens, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 11:27 PM

Eiseley, the chaps receive few away-production with the French and the faux French, thus to I' ll appearance it a small play, which we maintained, in order to play approximately 25,000 posts. We use " translate" to see you mark and to shift you the statement by few Sprachdann post office It in the changed form, over, which it looks as, or if it, as they say, " is; lost in translation." (English to German to English:)


Original:

Eiseley, the guys are getting a little carried away with the French and faux-French, so I'll show you a little game we used to play about 25,000 posts back. We use the "translate" feature and move the statement through a couple of languages then post it in the altered form to see what it looks like or if it is, as they say, "lost in translation."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 08:09 PM

SOn traducteur electronique s'ameliore, mais son typographie est affreuse.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 07:05 PM

Ah, Angelique! Maintenant chaque méthode d'enseignement a été reconstituée, et l'étude des langues a été rétablie : du Grec, sans lequel elle est honteuse pour qu'un homme s'appelle un disciple, et d'hébreu, et du latin. L'art élégant et précis de l'impression, qui est maintenant en service, a été inventé dans mon temps, par l'inspiration divine ; l'as, en revanche, artillerie a été inspiré par suggestion diabolique. Le monde entier est plein des hommes instruits, des précepteurs très érudits, et de la plupart des bibliothèques étendues, et il est mon avis que ni dans la période de Platon, de Cicero, ni de Papinian n'y avait il de tels corps enseignant pour l'étude comme on trouve aujourd'hui. Personne, à l'avenir, ne risqueront d'apparaître l'en public ou à n'importe quelle compagnie, qui n'est pas bonne polie dans Minerva' ; atelier de s. Je trouve des voleurs, des bourreaux, des pirates, et des mariés de nos jours plus appris que les médecins et les prédicateurs étaient dans mon temps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Angelique Forget
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 06:40 PM

Ce qui au nom de Dieu fait le "chaudfleur" moyen, le stupide? Si vous devez faire ces attaques laides sur la langue française, alors essayez d'employer des mots corrects! Et sinon, aller-en alors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 06:25 PM

Angelique, Angelique...votre oreilles c'est les mêmes que chaudfleur, mon petite chienne...votre peau comme l'écorce....


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