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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 Apr 09 - 01:01 PM
Amos 01 Apr 09 - 11:30 AM
Amos 01 Apr 09 - 09:48 AM
Donuel 31 Mar 09 - 11:42 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 09:28 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 08:23 PM
Janie 31 Mar 09 - 07:38 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 05:50 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 05:08 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 04:58 PM
Janie 31 Mar 09 - 04:51 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 04:44 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM
Acme 31 Mar 09 - 03:44 PM
MMario 31 Mar 09 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 02:47 PM
MMario 31 Mar 09 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 01:16 PM
GUEST,donuel 31 Mar 09 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 12:34 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 12:20 PM
Janie 31 Mar 09 - 12:10 PM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM
MMario 31 Mar 09 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 11:01 AM
MMario 31 Mar 09 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 31 Mar 09 - 08:29 AM
Amos 31 Mar 09 - 12:42 AM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 10:33 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:36 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:29 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:17 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:12 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 03:28 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 01:46 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 01:40 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM
Acme 30 Mar 09 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 08:37 AM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 04:56 AM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 01:01 PM

Playing your six-string while surfing in on it...spending time in a Belize jail for "obscenely overdone drunkeness"...being used as a human offering on an altar atop a pyramid...getting jungle rot, yellow fever, malaria, Chagras' Disease, leprosy, black syph, dengue fever, and measles....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 11:30 AM

Where are spatulas when you really NEED them?

Did I mention I am going to Belize to dive the Barrier Reef there?

Do you think I am excited?

Do you know how bloody long it has been since I wenton a vacation, other than my beloved Getaway sojourns?

I breathe relief just thinking on it!!!

Free kayaks! Free Hobie cats!! SNorkeling!! SCUBA diving. Mojitae!! Margaritas!! Strumming my six string on the front porch swing. Ah, Paradise enow....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 09 - 09:48 AM

God had often and long, by a host of angels, encamped round about Jerusalem for protection and deliverance; but now he fought against it. Proud looks and proud language shall be brought down by humbling providences.

So saith Matthew Henry's commentaries on Isaiah. OF course, Rapaire knows these off by heart, so no need to mention them, but a little emphasis on the important parts is always helpful,.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 11:42 PM

thanxs Stilly, that was the first lol I got from the mudcat all day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 11:16 PM

Oh, not at all. I expect shall be more present than ever as a result of the reduction in stress once we get there.

Our trip is for a week. Don't you DARE let me find Mom fallen on my return.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 09:28 PM

How very nice for you. For how long will you be among the missing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 08:23 PM

Ooooo! Bookman catches Amos off-base!!! Ring dat bell!!!!

Latin, sir, or no-Latin, or Pig-Latin, it is onay assic-clay.

Hey MOM!!!!!

I'm leaving for Belize in a month!! I'm gonna dive with the manatee and tickle the sharks and teach BBW to sail, and drink them mojitas until the moon turns blue!!! Yeeeehaw!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 07:38 PM

Bfd. I got 28411!


...hello?............... Yoohoo.................... Hey, why is everybody shaking their heads and walking away? What'd I doooo???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 05:50 PM

Amos, the original WAS in Latin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 05:08 PM

I would have, had it been in the original. We have a word for people who corrupt communication by putting on rococo airs and fripperies, just to look important. We call 'em SNobs. It is one of the worst cuss words ever coined, all the more so because it cusses by stealth.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 04:58 PM

Why, Amos. I thought for certain that you would recognize this very famous quote from Richard Du Bary's "Philobiblion"!

And finally, one must consider how great the ease of learning
there is in books, how yielding, how trusty !
How safely we reveal, without shyness, in the face of our books
the poverty of our human ignorance !
They are teachers who instruct us without switches or rods,
without slaps or anger, without notice of rags or riches.
If you approach them , they are not asleep;
If you ask a question, they do not hide;
They do not mutter at you if you make a mistake;
When you are ignorant, they do not know how to laugh at you.


But no, I suppose that modern education has no place for The Classics. How very sad. Ah well -- antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem, as we say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 04:51 PM

Oh, the number!!! I thought you were greedily grabbing the Dodge/Fiat. I was thinking there was no need to rush. Not a lot of folks standing in line for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 04:44 PM

I love it!! Imagine that!! The modern-day mummers pulleda similar stunt in New York's GCT, I believe. This is the culmination of a grand Tradition of Happenings!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM

Rapire's brazen efforts to be impressive, while not successful, are amusing. Here's whatone inept translator makes of his polyglot mishmash:

"Company not round Amos. Subsequent pensandum if doctrine commoditas he is upon book how easy , how sacred secret! How defender book kindness ignorantia beggardry without feeling of shame denudamus! THESE are loyal to the king are instructor quae we versed in without a green twig and fennel , without he who was born of the word and cholera , without tattered and money. If you wish to approach , not dormiunt ; if you wish to ask interrogation , not hidden ; not remurmurant if you wish oberres ; cachinnos to be ignorant , if you wish to be ignorant of. But , when Latine to be ignorant , nolle hand meas upon you stain."

Well, you get the idea. Back from his travels to and fro in the world, he finds himself under-amused, and time lies heavy on his sceptered head, and so he boggles his companions in arms with rampant obfuscation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 03:44 PM

Youz guys have been busy here today--I've been at work.

Here's a little more nonsense for the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 02:53 PM

I hear they drag you away to a glass elevator in a high rise mall and force you to listen to Muzack for 100 years or until you go insane, whichever comes last.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 02:47 PM

Do I have to go back to Ireland for that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 02:41 PM

HAHA-Ha=HAHA! Rapaire took the unlucky 28400!

He is so gonna face the Ire of the double-aughts deities!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 01:16 PM

MINE!!! Bwahahahahaha! ALL MINE!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,donuel
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 01:07 PM

After hearing that the Chrysler Fiat merger is only a matter of time, the usual gang of idiots down in the design department were given the order to come up with a car that still maintained the bold masculinity of the Dodge brand while retaining the economy of the Fiat brand.

This is what we came up with.

http://usera.imagecave.com/donuel/chyrsler-fiat_hybrid.jpg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 12:49 PM

Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum.

Remember that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 12:34 PM

Coitus non circum, Amos. Postremo pensandum quanta doctrinae commoditas sit in libris quam facilis, quam arcana! Quam tuto libris humanae ignorantia paupertatem sine verecundia denudamus! Hi sunt magistri qui nos instruunt sine virgis et ferula, sine verbis et cholera, sine pannis et pecunia. Si accedis, non dormiunt; si inquirens interrogas, non abscondunt; non remurmurant si oberres;
cachinnos nesciunt, si ignores.

Sed, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 12:20 PM

Si hoc vir est bonus vir , quare does tantum quisquiliarum exorior ex suus rabidus os? the Professor asked me this morning.

Non illegitimi carborundum, I answered.   Sit stultus. A bonus fossor a pius fossor , tamen stultus verumtamen. Sit a vir per a caput capitis plenus itinerisi quod haud locus praecessi.

Babel is as babel does, old fruit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 12:10 PM

The best way to barely handle a shakey egg (as with spoons), is to not handle it at all;>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM

Your error was speling. Myne wuz tense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 11:17 AM

HuzzaH! i CAN PLAY WITH Loot! Also bounty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 11:01 AM

Sorry, Mario. Misspelling. I meant "loot".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 09:32 AM

Janie - they won't talk about you (or me for that matter) behind your back in "furrin";- because they want to make sure we understand the remarks. I think they make up most of the word, anyway.

Lute? I can't play no lute! I can barely handle a shakey-egg!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 08:29 AM

Spelling, not tense.

Are you going to join the band? Here's a song you can sing:

Pro Aemilia, Ubicumque Eam Cognoscam

Somnium mihi --
Palla crocea,
Sericat'eras,
Amiculum tibi,
N'algor'esses.

Erravi cassas vias
Foro nundinae.
Audivi sacello
Tinniantem tibiae,
Dum erravi.

Cum ad me cucurrist'et,
Velut sidera,
Fulsist'ant'oculos
Et lux discussit umbras.
Exsultavi....

Expergi, sed
Hoc manuisti sic.
Flevi ob gaudium.
Basiavi te.
Ha! Te amo!
Puella, te amo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 12:42 AM

IT was only to be expected that a slip of tense --when dealing with an insufferable narcissist--is enough to open you up to such condescending hostility. Ptui. What kind of a Knowledgemonger will spew dead languages in order to make himself incomprehensible?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:33 PM

Hey, I play a bunch of things other than the kazoo. I can play the radio, the CD player, Bingo, Sorry, and Scrabble, just to name a few.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:31 PM

I'm in!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM

Oh, yeah. In the spirit of MOAB you can play or sing or whatever in whatever key, tempo, or range you'd like. In fact you don't even have to do the same piece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:59 PM

Now, I'm thinking about forming a mucilagical group. Everyone who posts to dear old MOAB is invited to join whether you can play an instrument or sing or just hum along.

The name of this group WAS going to be "The Stinky Bottom Boys" but that won't work, so with your kind permission I think it should be called "The Stinky Bottom Kids" or "The Stinky Bottom Siblings." The latter has nice alliteration in it.

Now, I play the trumpet, sort of, and Amos plays something with strings which he claims is a guitar, but I suspect it's a banjo in disguise. MMario, of course, plays the lute; Bee-Dubya plays with himself. Janie can play the kazoo and Stilly can play the drums (every band needs drums and you don't have to be good, just loud). Or however y'all want to work it out. I'm pretty easy about it.

Watcha think, if you do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:36 PM

That's alright, Janie. Amos doesn't know Latin either. Back in the ol' 'hood, our motto was "Veritas Lux Mea" (The Truth Enlightens Me); Amos' seems to have been either "Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum" or "Merda taurorum animas conturbit."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:29 PM

And tonight is my very lucky night. According to a website I just visited looking for news about bright lights and an explosion heavily reported along the Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina coasts last night. (probably a meteor or "space junk)" according to preliminary reports), I am the 100,000th visitor from Mebane to visit one site, which might entitle me to all kinds of free things and a million dollars, or at least a new laptop, if only I will click on the loudly flashing green and red box.

That's pretty impressive considering the population of Mebane is about 10,000, and probably no more than 70% of it's households have computers, so, how many households equals a population of 10,000? Generously, 4 to 6,000?

But I'm feeling unlucky and very unsubliminal tonight, so will forego clicking on the beautitiously flashing box.

As for the lights and bang, I suspect Gluon was chasing a quarkish, quarrelsome cat, who turned and nailed him when it had enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:17 PM

This ignorant hillbilly don't like "you people" speaking in tongues. Makes me paranoid. You just gotta be sayin' bad things about me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:16 PM

All you lackadaisial layabouts, frittering away your time at work today, while moi was busy, busy, busy....some of it was good work with clients - but most of it was romancing charts for beaurocrats.

We don't get paid if *shudder* the i's are not all dotted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:12 PM

Quod erat demonstrandum, I presume you mean? Remember: Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 04:15 PM

Quod erat demonstrarum, old fruit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 03:28 PM

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base,   Greenland, at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he
discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last
flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the
hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk riticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.' Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in
Thule, Greenland, for 11 months without any leave, and reindeers'
asses are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM

But, not to be overly harsh, we must allow that some of our best BS work is born in the overheated smelly kettle of Rapaire's narcissism. SO let her rock on, sez I!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:46 PM

Right, just as I suspected.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:40 PM

Ad majorem mea gloriam, as we used to say back in the 'hood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:03 PM

All for the greater glory of...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM

Oh, wait. Sorry. I donated it to the NYCFTTS and a home for retired Trappist nuns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:32 AM

I sure as hell don't have it! Check with your bank. Maybe they're keeping it in a special account for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 08:37 AM

WELL! Then how is it that MY pay is nowhere NEAR eight figures?? I'M about as narcissistic as a shy kid from the Great Midwest can get! WHERE'S MY MONEY?????????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 04:56 AM

"Management consultant Michael Maccoby studied narcissistic bosses for his book, The Productive Narcissist: The Promise and Peril of Visionary Leadership. He makes a distinction between leaders with narcissistic traits and those who have full-blown NPD. He says narcissists can be charismatic forces for change?because of their drive, vision, risk-taking, and even ruthlessness, many corporations turn to narcissists for salvation. But such people can become dangerous because their success fuels their already ample grandiosity and feeds the sense they got there by disdaining the normal rules. Maccoby says those working for or doing business with a narcissist have to be careful not be drawn into crossing legal and ethical lines. A good example is Blagojevich, who seemed to have a rare ability to taint almost anyone who took his phone calls. Twenge and Campbell cite studies which show that narcissistic bosses produce volatile results. Their boldness can lead to big short-term success but long-term disaster.
If the observers who say that part of our economic troubles result from a mass case of narcissism, from consumers who thought they should have the house of their dreams financed on bad debt to bankers who thought they deserved eight-figure bonuses for packaging that bad debt, then perhaps we are about to be cured. Twenge and Campbell point out that the 1920s was a narcissistic era whose economic collapse led to the Great Depression and the greatest generation. Perhaps it's time to dig out those Depression-era recipes for humble pie."


Slate on Narccissistic Personality Disorder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM

SOUTH: NO. 1 NORTH CAROLINA 72, NO. 2 OKLAHOMA 60
Tar Heels Overcome Sooners' One-Man Show
By JOHN BRANCH 2 minutes ago

Ty Lawson scored 19 points and Danny Green added 18 to lead the Tar Heels to a win over Blake Griffin and Oklahoma.


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