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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 May 04 - 10:10 AM
GUEST,MMario 21 May 04 - 09:34 AM
freda underhill 21 May 04 - 09:02 AM
42 21 May 04 - 07:35 AM
Amos 20 May 04 - 08:38 PM
CarolC 20 May 04 - 08:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 04 - 06:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 04 - 05:59 PM
42 20 May 04 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 20 May 04 - 09:23 AM
Amos 20 May 04 - 09:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 04 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 20 May 04 - 09:10 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:50 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:49 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM
GUEST,lowly plebe 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:47 AM
Little Hawk 20 May 04 - 08:45 AM
Rapparee 20 May 04 - 08:43 AM
Amos 20 May 04 - 02:24 AM
Acme 20 May 04 - 12:35 AM
Rustic Rebel 20 May 04 - 12:18 AM
Amos 19 May 04 - 11:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 May 04 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 19 May 04 - 10:38 PM
Acme 19 May 04 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 19 May 04 - 10:20 PM
Amos 19 May 04 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 19 May 04 - 07:24 PM
Amos 19 May 04 - 01:17 PM
beardedbruce 19 May 04 - 12:29 PM
Acme 19 May 04 - 12:07 PM
Acme 19 May 04 - 12:05 PM
GUEST,MMario 19 May 04 - 11:44 AM
Acme 19 May 04 - 11:28 AM
Tweed 18 May 04 - 10:58 PM
GUEST,soap addict 18 May 04 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 18 May 04 - 09:01 AM
Rustic Rebel 18 May 04 - 12:00 AM
42 17 May 04 - 11:53 PM
Acme 17 May 04 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 17 May 04 - 01:12 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 04 - 12:25 PM
Rapparee 17 May 04 - 12:16 PM
GUEST,The Spirit of MOAB future 17 May 04 - 11:49 AM
Little Hawk 17 May 04 - 10:40 AM
GUEST,MMario 17 May 04 - 09:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 04 - 10:10 AM

Yeah, true, MMario, but the quality, Man! The Quality! E'en The Bard proclaims it:

"The quality of MOAB is not strain'd,        
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven        
Upon the place beneath: it is twice bless'd;        
It blesseth them that posts and them that reads:        
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes        
The throned musician better than a lyre;        
A lute doth show the force of musical power;        
The accordion doth shock and awe,        
And therein sits the dread and fear of all.        
But MOAB is above this linear sway,        
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings and popes,        
It is an attribute to God his own self,        
And earthly power doth then show likest God's        
When MOAB seasons Musick."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 May 04 - 09:34 AM

the entire thread loads in 1 minute and 40 seconds at my workstation.

*sigh* I was hoping this single thread balanced out the entire Music side of the cat - but alas - it is several THOUSANDs of posts short at the current moment.

At the time of this posting over 7500 posts are visible on the music side. We've got a measly 32 hundred and change...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 May 04 - 09:02 AM

In dentibus anticis frustrum magnum spiniciae habes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 21 May 04 - 07:35 AM

A...eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:38 PM

Dear 42:

" Dickens' Mr. Bumble knew what he was talking about when he observed, "the law
is a ass." ("Oliver Twist")", to quote just one recent reference to one of my favorite quotations. Put "The Law is A Ass" into Google -- or better, read all of Dickens' collected works -- and you will find it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:09 PM

I refuse to have anything to do with either soap operas, Girl Scouts, or clothed female accordionists. In fact, the worst thing I can imagine is a soap opera featuring an accordionist wearing a Girl Scout uniform

The fact that you could even imagine it at all is pretty frightening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 04 - 06:06 PM

I have found THIS THREAD to be so utterly MOABworthy that I am compelled to place this link to it here on the MOAB. It is the funniest thing I have seen on the 'Cat since Bubba Bubba and Debbie Earl tried to eat khandu and puked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 04 - 05:59 PM

Ohmigod!!!! I made the mistake of trying to open this thread by clicking on the thread name instead of on the "D" or the number. My computer started screaming at me. "You want me to load what? That damned thread's longer than all but one of Stephen King's novels! I may be a reasonably new computer, but you still live in the country where dialup is the only kind of Internet connection you can get. Maybe you have all day to wait, but I've got better things to do. I swear, if you make me try to load it I'll lock up! I promise it!"

Pretty darned amazing, especially since I haven't had the speakers turned on for weeks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 20 May 04 - 05:42 PM

that would be "an" ass.

ahhhh the trouble with Triffids
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:23 AM

Ya know, Bee-Dubya, that's pretty much what the Idaho Legion said. Sagebrush Sore(he's called that ever since he did what he hadda do and grabbed a handful of sagebrush instead of using the Sears catalog pages) said to me jist t'other day, "Mebbe we shoulda went off and reskeyed that Khandu guy, but I shore din't fancy ridin' through Shekago er Dee-troit, so I'm right glad we got drunk insted. He's a good guy, but I ain't sure he's Top Hand enuff ta warrant ridin' down that there Outer Drive fer. And there ain't very much in the whole danged wurld worth ridin' on the Boreman fer!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:15 AM

Oh, big deal.

Shatner is A Ass.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:14 AM

Coises! We haz been Shat upon again!

Yes, I also bore witness to the knightships King khandu is passing out like Moonpies at a Mardi Gras parade over at Tweedsburg. But what can you expect. The boy is obviously brain-damaged as a result of his long incarceration at the hands of vile rebels, revolutionaries and terrorists in Toledo, Ohio, no less! And we have only ourselves to blame since none of us lifted a finger to help him. But, look, is it reasonable to think I should get in my truck and drive to friggin' Ohio, of all places, and search through every vacant warehouse and shotgun shack to find khandu? Hell no!Fuck 'im! I like the boy and all that shit but he really ain't worth it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:10 AM

I knew what you were up to, LH, and I deliberately let you get away with it. Now send me the money you promised.

As for Khandu, it's just another example of Leadership Failure. Of maternal desertion. Some are loyel, and then there are Others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:50 AM

Bwah! Hah! Hah! Shatner snagged post 3200!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:49 AM

WILLIAM SHATNER!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM

could...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lowly plebe
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM

YOu know what's BS? King Khandu creating knights on another site!!! Oh, sure - Where are the Knights of the Mudcat (KoM) - or the Royal Mississippian Order of the MOAB? (RMOM) Huh? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM

someone...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:48 AM

at any moment...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:47 AM

because...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:45 AM

Hold your breath...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 04 - 08:43 AM

Gee, RR, I don't remember you on any of my Boy Scout campouts. How did you know? Only it wasn't Brad Pitt. At my age and time it was more likely to be Annette Funicello.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 04 - 02:24 AM

Oh, RR, I yam all undone. Nicely turned!! :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 04 - 12:35 AM

Snort! Gottcha!

Touché!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 May 04 - 12:18 AM

Ya know, there is a certain mystique to the tender, dedicated, visionary, newly-formed, uniformed Boy Scout bravely going forth into the mystic passages of manhood to face the trials of mankind and so on, all the while neatly turned out in green felt, neatly trimmed, creased, the tie done just so, swept up in the horrors of Bacchanalia and reeling into unconsciousness and alcoholic stupor in the gutter, his face a disfiguring plastered array of bits of Brad Pit and Cocoanut Twirls, and his blood on fire with Bacardi... what a confluence, a collision of worlds, a titanic battle!! What could such a boy scout possibly be dreaming??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 11:13 PM

Ya know, there is a certain mystique to the tender, dedicated, visionary, newly-formed, uniformed Girl Scout bravely going forth into the mystic passages of womanhood to face the trials of womankind and so on, all the while neatly turned out in green felt, neatly trimmed, creased, the tie done just so, swept up in the horrors of Bacchanalia and reeling into unconsciousness and alcoholic stupor in the gutter, her face a disfiguring plastered array of bits of Lorna Doones and Cocoanut Twirls, and her blood on fire with Bacardi... what a confluence, a collision of worlds, a titanic battle!! What could such a girl scout possibly be dreaming??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 May 04 - 10:54 PM

I refuse to have anything to do with either soap operas, Girl Scouts, or clothed female accordionists. In fact, the worst thing I can imagine is a soap opera featuring an accordionist wearing a Girl Scout uniform.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 04 - 10:38 PM

I thought it was a drunken Girl Scout. "We never eat cookies because they have yeast/And one little bite turns a man to a beast/Can you imagine a sadder disgrace/Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face?" (As the song so rightly says.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 04 - 10:27 PM

Q: What is green, covered with crumbs, and lying in the gutter?


A: A dead Girl Scout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 04 - 10:20 PM

Dear God forgive me, for I have stumbled into sense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 07:39 PM

Rapaire:

After bales and bales of BS, finally a small kernel of sense. Thanks!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 04 - 07:24 PM

Well, yes, I am. I've said that all along. And since I created all of you, you am too.

Girl Scouts go feral when they are abandoned. When I was a Boy Scout I met some abandoned Girl Scouts. Suffice to say that it's a very personal matter and I'm not one to kiss (and more!) and tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 01:17 PM

What drives a Girl Scout to go feral, anyway? This is the question that is really underneath an awful lot of Michael Moore's work in the last few years, and I think it deserves and answer.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 19 May 04 - 12:29 PM

MMArio: so, more about these feral GirlScouts..... packs plural?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 04 - 12:07 PM

darn. ascii didn't work right. Let's see what Word can do:

être


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 04 - 12:05 PM

ˆtre


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 19 May 04 - 11:44 AM

Rapaire - your sentence basically boils down to "I am"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 04 - 11:28 AM

I generally borrow plumes (poems) because I figure there's enough bad poetry in the world already, why generate more? I recycle!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 May 04 - 10:58 PM

Well, I am captivated by the mental image obv CarolC playing the accordian wif her clothes on. Not by her puking in a tuke at all though, but somefing about a full dressed gal and a accordiyam....yazyazyaz...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,soap addict
Date: 18 May 04 - 05:43 PM

I think the poetry's sunk. However, I'm still captivated by CarolC's soap suggestion.

Just think - freds, Bubba Bubba, Bee-dubya-ell, labradors, brucie, Little Hawk's goat and Ms. Penelope Rutledge.

What a combination!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 04 - 09:01 AM

Perhaps the internal insaneness of my own Being (and since I am using the term "Being" to mean the innermost, deepest "me" it is, in mathematical terms, irreducible and absolute I should correctly say "my own absolute Being" or, to be concise, my "MOAB") is, after so many years and so many experiences (both actual and virtual -- and in that I include literary) so intertwined, so fused, or, as my grandmother used to say about constipation caused by eating too much cheese, so "bound up," that any attempt to disengage one thread (such as poesy from sources outside the Self) from the others (experiences, readings and other sources external to the Self) would effectively destroy the MOAB, although certainly not MOAB.

Okay, sucker, diagram that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 May 04 - 12:00 AM

Poetry from another source
proves to me me have lost our poetic streaming.
Stop this insane receiting and create from yourself
the insaneness of your own being.


Or not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 17 May 04 - 11:53 PM

when I was a kid a bunch of the girls on the street had a backyard theatre group - no grown ups allowed (except to make cookies and lemonade for the performances) and we did a play called Dogs and Daffodils in which the "Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" poem featured prominently.

I really hate that poem.

loved the cookies and lemonade and the applause

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 04 - 11:05 PM

What timing to be poking around old old email and come across this bit of silliness:

Dances With Daffodils
A fanciful form of wordplay known as "N plus 7" can be surprisingly effective at exposing literary pretense

by Phyllis Rose

W ordsworth's best-known and arguably most ridiculous poem is "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud," the one about the daffodils. When daffodils are blooming, it is impossible not to think of this poem?although, at the same time, it is impossible to think of it. The language, with a few exceptions, is forgettable. Students from countries with no daffodils and a history of British rule have come to resent the daffodil poem as an artifact of cultural imperialism. Imagine never having seen daffodils and having to sit in school and mimic enthusiasm about their "fluttering and dancing in the breeze."

My favorite recent commentary on this poem is a version of it presented by the writer Harry Mathews at a lecture on the Oulipo in 1999, in Key West, Florida. The Oulipo, or OuLiPo, which stands for Ouvroir de Littérature Potentielle (Workshop of Potential Literature), is a French-based group interested in formally generated literature and relatively uninterested in literature that purports to describe the "real" world or that even pretends to be the product of sincere feeling. Oulipians set themselves rules?writing a novel without once using the letter e, for example?and pride themselves on the depth and interest produced despite (an Oulipian would probably say produced because of) the restrictions.

Harry Mathews performed an Oulipian exercise called "N plus 7" on the Wordsworth poem. "N" stands for "noun." To use the method on prose, one locates in the dictionary a noun found in the subject text, counts to the seventh noun from it, and substitutes that for the original. With poetry, especially classical poetry, one may choose to respect the meter and rhyme of the poem being transformed, in which case one would examine every noun (excluding proper nouns) after the seventh one until finding a match. The alphabetical gap between the original and the substitution, therefore, can be quite large. Mathews, who respected Wordsworth's meter and rhyme in his N-plus-7 version of "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud," had to traverse many dictionary entries before finding a noun that rhymed with "daffodil" and was, like "daffodil," a dactyl?three syllables with the accent on the first syllable. The word he came upon was "imbecile."

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden imbeciles;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed?and gazed?but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the imbeciles.

Some people in the audience, including me, found this so funny that we bent over with laughter even as Mathews, a tall, handsome man with a very grand stage presence, proceeded straight-faced and stately through the poem.


Follow the link for the rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 04 - 01:12 PM

I simply KNEW you'd like it! So here's another:

    To the Moon
   
    "O, thou."
    --CLAUD HALCRO.

    BLESS thy bright face! though often blessed before
    By raving maniac and by pensive fool;
    One would say something more-- but who as yet,
    When looking at thee in the deep blue sky,
    Could tell the poorest thought that struck his heart?
    Yet all have tried, and all have tried in vain.
    At thee, poor planet, is the first attempt
    That the young rhymster ventures. And the sigh
    The boyish lover heaves, is at the Moon.
    Bards, who -- ere Milton sung or Shakspeare played
    The dirge of sorrow, or the song of love,
    Bards, who had higher soared than Fesole,
    Knew better of the Moon. 'T was there they found
    Vain thoughts, lost hopes, and fancy's happy dreams,
    And all sweet sounds, such as have fled afar
    From waking discords, and from daylight jars.
    There Ariosto puts the widow's weeds
    When she, new wedded, smiles abroad again,
    And there the sad maid's innocence -- 't is there

    That broken vows and empty promises,
    All good intentions, with no answering deed
    To anchor them on the substantial earth,
    Are shrewdly packed. -- And could he think that thou,
    So bright, so pure of aspect, so serene,
    Art the mere storehouse of our faults and crimes?
    I'd rather think as puling rhymsters think,
    O; love-sick maidens fancy -- Yea, prefer
    The dairy notion that thou art but cheese,
    Green cheese --than thus misdoubt thy honest face.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 04 - 12:25 PM

Very nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 04 - 12:16 PM

This is for Little Hawk, who appreciates Great Poetry. Others,of course, may read it as well.

                   The Two Comets
                            by
                John Gardiner Calkins Brainard

      THERE once dwelt in Olympus some notable oddities,
      For their wild singularities call'd Gods and Goddesses.--
      But one in particular beat'em all hollow,
      Whose name, style, and title was Phoebus Apollo.
          Now Phoeb. was a genius--his hand he could turn
      To anything, everything genius can learn:
      Bright, sensible, graceful, cute, spirited, handy,
      Well bred, well behaved--a celestial Dandy!
      An eloquent god, though he didn't say much;
      But he drew a long bow, spoke Greek, Latin and Dutch;
      A doctor, a poet, a soarer, a diver,
      And of horses in harness an excellent driver.
          He would tackle his steeds to the wheels of the sun,
      And he drove up the east every morning, but one;
      When young Phaeton begg'd of his daddy at five,
      To stay with Aurora a day, and he'd drive.
      So good natured Phoebus gave Phaey the seat,
      With his mittens, change, waybill, and stage horn complete;
      To the breeze of the morning he shook his bright locks,
      Blew the lamps of the night out, and mounted the box.
      The crack of his whip, like the breaking of day,
      Warm'd the wax in the ears of the leaders, and they
      With a snort, like the fog of the morning, clear'd out
      For the west, as young Phaey meant to get there about
      Two hours before sunset. He look'd at his "turnip,"
      And to make the delay of the old line concern up,
      He gave'em the reins; and from Aries to Cancer,
      The style of his drive on the road seem'd to answer;
      But at Leo, the ears of the near wheel-horse prick'd.
      And at Virgo the heels of the off leader kick'd;
      Over Libra the whiffle-tree broke in the middle,
      And the traces snapp'd short, like the strings of a fiddle.
      One wheel stuck near Scorpio, who gave it a roll,
      And sent it to buzz, like a top, round the pole;
      While the other whizz'd back with its linchpin and hub,
      Or, more learnedly speaking, its nucleus or nub;
      And, whether in earnest, or whether in fun,
      He carried away a few locks of the sun.
          The state of poor Phaeton's coach was a blue one,
      And Jupiter order'd Apollo a new one;
      But our driver felt rather too proud to say "Whoa,"
      Letting horses, and harness, and everything go
      At their terrified pleasure abroad; and the muse
      Says, they cut to this day just what capers they choose;
      That the eyes of the chargers as meteors shine forth;
      That their manes stream along in the lights of the north;
      That the wheels which are missing are comets, that run
      As fast as they did when they carried the sun;
      And still pushing forward, though never arriving,
      Think the west is before them, and Phaeton driving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Spirit of MOAB future
Date: 17 May 04 - 11:49 AM

sorry. I have a life of my own. You can't stop me.

MWAH-ha-ha-ha-ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 04 - 10:40 AM

All right, that's enough. I want you to all just shut up and go home. This thread does not exist. It is an ex-thread. It is defunct, finished, kaput. Leave the building now.














What, you're still here?



GO HOME!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 May 04 - 09:43 AM

after my weekend experience with packs of feral Girl Scouts - running afoul of Bubba-bubba sounds like a walk in the park! (And I don't mean Central!)


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