Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

JennyO 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM
Little Hawk 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM
Little Hawk 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM
MMario 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM
khandu 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM
khandu 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM
khandu 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 03 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 09:01 PM
Tweed 27 May 03 - 07:53 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 03 - 12:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 May 03 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 27 May 03 - 08:53 AM
harpgirl 26 May 03 - 10:02 PM
khandu 26 May 03 - 08:48 PM
Amos 26 May 03 - 08:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 May 03 - 08:06 PM
Amos 26 May 03 - 12:12 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 03 - 11:24 AM
Tweed 26 May 03 - 10:57 AM
Tweed 26 May 03 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 26 May 03 - 09:46 AM
Li'l Aussie Bleeder 26 May 03 - 06:33 AM
khandu 25 May 03 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 25 May 03 - 09:37 PM
Tweed 25 May 03 - 09:30 PM
khandu 25 May 03 - 08:29 PM
khandu 25 May 03 - 08:17 PM
Little Hawk 25 May 03 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 25 May 03 - 06:39 PM
Little Hawk 25 May 03 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 25 May 03 - 05:32 PM
Little Hawk 25 May 03 - 05:18 PM
khandu 25 May 03 - 05:13 PM
Ebbie 25 May 03 - 05:11 PM
Little Hawk 25 May 03 - 04:16 PM
MMario 25 May 03 - 04:04 PM
GUEST,gourmand 25 May 03 - 03:53 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM

And will the 'Cat be down for Spaw's birthday? (shudder).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM

With the 'Cat going down for ten days....

Will this thread ever reach 500 posts? Will Bill Shatner ever? Stay tuned!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM

Of course, we could instead discuss the sex life of penguins. That could be good for another 20 or so posts. How about it?

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM

Well, when you strip away the decorations and the glitter of and finally get down to basics you are faced with the most fundamental thing in all life. It's called...SHATNERIZATION. Deal with it, Mario. We all have to face these things eventually. It's like Murphy's Law...inescapable and inexorable.

"To boldly go where no man has gone before..." (Ooooo-oooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooo...)

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM

*weeping for the BS that was once brilliant - and is now textbook material for the WSSOBA!*


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM

Yes! Yes! Providence has moved its mighty finger again! All this time, I believed this to be the MOTHER OF ALL BULLSH*T THREADS, but, NO...it is the MOTHER OF ALL BILL SHATNER THREADS...or not.

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM

Yes...and don't forget...

Bill Shatner's initials are: B.S.

That tells you all you really need to know.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM

Scottieeeeeeeee, Please Beam these boys up! They need to be de-humanized for this thread to remain
completely insane,
constantly inhumane,
and the criterion for a permanent brain stain.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM

The Majesty of Shatner is shown in the fact that both MOAB and Spaw's Birthday Threads have become Shatnerized!!!

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM

The majesty of the man is in his ability to make a success of spoofing himself! Shatner, and only Shatner, has mastered this. This shows his genuis, his brilliance!
How many have tried to make it in show-business by spoofing other well-knowns such as Shatner? But only he has succeeded in spoofing himself!

What a guy! It is fitting and proper that he be the highlight of the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!

What a guy!

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM

Further research also shows worship by Fenrir, Jormungand, Hecate, Hiisi, Mictlantecuhtli (and his wife), Yenaldlooshi, Daityas, Leonard, Kali, Caillech, Belphegor, Furfur, Neit, Felorn, the Morrigan, and Arawn.

Yog Sothoth was remarkably restrained today, considering that I misspelled his name.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM

YOG SOTHOTH!!! That name sends a chill through me, but not as big a chill as the dread sound "TEK-E-LI-LI!!!" Now that is horror with a capital "H". I expect to hear shortly that even GREAT CTH*LH* sacrifices to Shatner! It wouldn't surprise me. Shatner is like a force of Nature, he's simply omnipotent.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM

More research shows that Khandu is correct. Even further research shows conclusively that not only Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, but so does Asmodeus, Lilith, Shaitan, the Wendigo, Nut, Freya, Woten, Baal, and Yog Sothof.

Further research into this continues. News at 11.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM

Actually, if you had done your research properly, you would have discovered that Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, Cheney is a crony of Shatner, Powell is a pal of Shantner and Bush is a buddy to Shatner.

That is the way it is!

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM

A Google search of the terms "Shatner" and "Bohemian" brought several pages of results. This provides OVERWHELMING evidence that William Shatner -- THE William Shatner! -- is a member of the Bohemian Club and hence sacrifices to Moloch and is a crony of Cheney, a pal to Powell, and a buddy to Bush! And if additional evidence is needed, isn't Kerrville in California? Quod erat demonstratum!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM

Beam me to Kerrville, Mr. Scott!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM

SHATNER ALERT!!!!! He's been spotted at the Kerrville Folk Festival, and CarolC got a picture!

YOWSA!!! WAY COOL!!! SHATNER ROCKS!!!!!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM

Everybody needs a good wiring harness...even the Kingly type!

bee-dubja, I understand and agree with your T-Rex analogy of Royals. We, here in Mississippi, are loathe to break tradition, so we don't!

It boils down to this...Royals want their spawn to be of Royal blood. What better way to insure that than begetting with members of the Royal Fambly?

Anyone for "Spin the Bottle"?

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM

Little Hawk, this one's for you!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:04 PM

"Kreegah!" is not a "Turok, Son of Stone" expression. It's a "Tarzan of the Apes" expression. For shame, Tweed! Get with the program.

Important "Turok, Sone of Stone" expressions are:

HONK! GAH-HONK!!! (uttered by annoyed or hungry dinosaurs)

RUNK!!! (uttered by dying dinosaurs)

There may be others too...I'll look into it.

NEWSFLASH!!! While purchasing a copy of "Liberty Meadows" (the World's greatest and funniest comic) at the local comic shop a few days ago I couldn't help but notice that there were AT LEAST 8 COPIES of the old "Turok" comics for sale!!!!!!!   At an average of $8 Canadian each...

I expect an avalanche of frantic, hyperventilating comic fans to descend on Orillia shortly...be warned that security will be heavy, and be prepared to bid high for these beauties, now that the cat is officially out of the bag!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:01 PM

No, no, NO! C sharp! Or maybe D sharp. Or F. Anyway, I completely disagree. Again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 27 May 03 - 07:53 PM

O lord habv mercy...Little Harg haz remissed into the Son Obv Stone agin! Whar iz Khnadgarz? Why iz he forgotten us....We iz lost in the Land that Time Forgot....Whar wiring harnazez are become sorry ass excuses...and no good blues wabz heard by ar Khing!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 03 - 12:06 PM

Bruce, that is a vile calumny upon the noble Tyrannosaurus Rex, and I should think you have seriously offended dinosaurs everywhere by saying it. If I were you I would not venture outside for some time...

In other words... KREEGAH!!!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 May 03 - 11:14 AM

Dear King khandu,

Please do not take the term "reprobate inbred" as a personal insult. It comes with the territory when one is a king. Just ask any of our UK Mudcatter friends to describe their own royal family in two words and, to a person, they will say, "inbred reprobates".

So it has been since the time of the dinosaurs. Royal inbreeding actually began with Tyrannosaurus Rex, the king of the dinosaurs. The two most notable things about T Rex are his big teeth and his short tiny arms. With such short arms it was impossible for an adolescent T Rex with raging hormones to achieve sexual release in the manner that normally equipped dinosaurs did. In other words, T Rex couldn't wank off. So, the young male would frequently just jump the nearest thing that looked screwable and that, more often than not, would be his own cousin or sister.

Sadly, even though modern royals have arms of normal length, the tendency toward cousin-porking that began all those millions of years ago is still with us today.

Bruce


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 08:53 AM



ALL the good candidates are gone. I was hoping Piggins would use this as a stepping stone to the presidency.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: harpgirl
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:02 PM

...I finally met (Bee-dubya-ell) Bruce at the Florida Folk Festival. My girlfriends "The Muses", thought he was really cute. He's married so don't get any ideas. She's nice, too! harpy


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:48 PM

"I was greatly looking forward to assisting Mr. Piggins in his bid to oust the reprobate inbred King khandu" and "I have alienated myself from my King and seriously doubt that getting back in his good graces is in the cards"

In one breath, you speak disparagingly of me and, in the next, you seem to desire my "good graces".

I like that quality in a man...double-mindedness! It shows the ability to see both sides at once! What a gifted fellow you are, Mr bee-dubya!

So sad to hear of Slim's untragic and timely death. I shall observe a moment of silence in his honor tonight while I am having porkchops.

However, I must say that I am pleased you have rejoined us here at MOAB. With both you and Tweed away, this place was not the same!

BTW, bwl, If I do leave my throne, it will be voluntarily. I am not being deposed, nor disposed! However, since I first made my announcement, I have been barraged with missives demanding that I retain my hallowed Throne. I am seriously considering this!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:27 PM

Wal, BWL, I mean, how was ya to know? Right? I can't count the number of royalty I have inadvertantly alienized, NOR the number of pure-dee aliens I have accidentally royalized. Sometyimes it gets so I can't tell whether I am exercising my royalizing compulsion on some extra-T thinly disguised as a human being, or just pissing off a properly-elevated monarch. But you gotta keep moving on, ya know what I mean?

It'll all come out in the wash, believe me -- or the graveyard, whichever comes first...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 May 03 - 08:06 PM

Well, folks, I'm back from my annual pilgrimage to The Florida Folk Festival way down upon the Suwannee River and I'm here to tell you that life can certainly take some funny turns while you're out in the woods fending off the ticks and chiggers. As you may recall from my pre-festival posts, Mr. Slimuel J. (Slim) Piggins, a Vietnamese potbellied pig, had agreed to become the Porcine Party's candidate for King of Mississippi and I had agreed to be his campaign manager. I was greatly looking forward to assisting Mr. Piggins in his bid to oust the reprobate inbred King khandu from that hallowed throne. I had planned on beginning my tenure in that position upon my safe arrival home from the festival, and hoped that Mr. Piggins would await my counsel before beginning his campaign in earnest.
.
However, unbeknownst to me, Mr. Piggins decided to take it into his head to do a little campaigning while I was off pickin' and such. In fact, ole Slim decided to make an appearance at a Memorial Day barbecue hosted by a volunteer fire department over in the Biloxi, Mississippi area and there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding. I can't really blame the volunteer firemen for what happened because I doubt they had ever seen a Vietnamese potbellied pig running for King of Mississippi before. Anyway, ole Slim came trottin' up to the barbecue with a basketful of "Vote for Slim" balloons and this ole boy named Ralph held out an apple and said, "Nice piggy", and ole Slim bein' a sucker for a good apple... well, there's really no gentle way to put it... in just a few minutes poor ole Slim wasn't just at the barbecue, he was the barbecue.

So, now I find myself lost in the vacuum I have created for myself by my own feckless and opportunistic nature. I have alienated myself from my King and seriously doubt that getting back in his good graces is in the cards. And the chances of any other domestic farm animals running for public office and needing a campaign manager just don't look too promising. (Well, there is that one horse's ass that's in The White House, but I think he's already got someone in mind.) Perhaps I will just go back to being an idjit as it seems to be the calling to which I am best suited.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 03 - 12:12 PM

All I get is sound. but he sure plays fine!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 03 - 11:24 AM

Hey, very nice!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:57 AM

Need a little more? Here's one at Mz.Mary's house early that morning. Mz.Mary lives way out on a gravel road and her flowers grow well out there. She is a gentle soul and would have played her guitar for us (she is learning how to) except the power company came and took her meter off the wall of her shack. Of course that means she can't run her water pump either, but she was so happy to see Daniel and his Mother and to make Bobertz and me anyhow. I have two bits of river gravel from her front yard which are going in the mojo bag. She is a beautiful beautiful woman.

Slick Plays for Mz.Mary


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:47 AM

That may well be Little Hawk, but I am a renegade of sorts and will post this musical video clip from day two of me and the Boberdz' Mizippi expedition. This is Slick Ballinger playing on a porch outside Como Mizippi on Saturday. Great-great Grandma likes hiz music considerable az you will see. I've never seen a musician effect people the way Daniel does. This sorta thing went on for two days at various juke joints, bars and many front porches.
By the way, Mississippi is one beautiful place and the Hill Country is like heaven on earth!
Slick Plays, Great-Great Grandma Starts a Dance

Yerz in Renegade non-BS,
Tweed


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 03 - 09:46 AM

Got that right, Aussie. What Khandu figured was to create a thread that would attract all us BS'rs like shit attracting flies, and keep us off the rest of the forum. It's working fairly well. I figure that we will easily run it up to 1,000 posts long before George Bush launches his next pre-emptive war. I hope so, anyway.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Li'l Aussie Bleeder
Date: 26 May 03 - 06:33 AM

I get the impression that a few folks a most adept at shooting their mouths off (hee, not a pretty picture)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 11:23 PM

The Tweed is Back!!! Tis a pleasure to have you back in Mudcatville! Can't wait to hear yore fine tales of drunkeness and blues music!

I told my many subjects to treat you royally whenever you got to Mississippi, cause even though you threw it away, you were once a Royal Consort and shall forever be treated as one!

Any new BS to add to the old BS here at the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS? That's the wunnerful thing about BS...you can take all different kinds of the stuff and it'll mix in with the rest and still be BS!!!

Anyone for parcheesi?

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 03 - 09:37 PM

I found a good one, LH!! A really good one!! It was up in the air and said "Goodyear" on the side!!!!!

Thank God I live in Idaho now and nobody comments on your quad fifties!! Can't WAIT for rabbit season!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 25 May 03 - 09:30 PM

Well, I see the garden haz devolved to smothering chickens and Shatnerspeak since I last took my leave for the frontiers ob Khnadzoo's Reaml!

Boberdz is still on the road, or mebbe haz got a motel room by now) and iz headed back to the P-Vine. We had many consecutive adventures down there this year and I will have some sort ob report wif pictures and mebbe a short video if I got enough webspace left to run it all. People, the hill country of ar Khing's state iz most special and populated by the finest folks I have ever encountered. And that ain't no BS neither...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 08:29 PM

I just got three (count'em...three) PMs from different members of the Mudcat Hierarchy thanking me for this thread. They all said that I had done a great service in creating it because it has kept most of the Mudcat undesirables (and their ilk) too busy to bother the more "serious-minded" members.

And there are those who say there is no God!

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 08:17 PM

However, don't worry about the guilty bystanders...they deserve what ever they get.

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 03 - 08:07 PM

Another thing that's great fun is to do drive-by shootings of inflatable Ronald McDonalds, Great Root Bears, and such at fast food restaurants. There's almost nothing more satisfying than pouring a few hundred rounds of 30 cal machine gun bullets into Ronald, and hearing that "psssssssshhhhh..." sound as he slowly keels over and deflates onto the top of your local McDonald's. I recommend doing it late at night. It's more dramatic that way, but make sure the area is reasonably well lit so you get the full visual effect.

An alternate technique is to nail old Ronald with a bazooka. This produces a sound like a gigantic fart, and results in more or less total destruction of the inflatable clown. The Great Root Bear reacts similarly. If you are really lucky, you may come across a giant inflatable gorilla or a T-rex, but they are rarer. Check out horse racing arenas, auctions, country fairs, and such events.

Always make sure to have a good getaway car, a good driver, and be careful not to injure any innocent bystanders.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 03 - 06:39 PM

I tried shooting the rapids, but rafts full of people kept getting in the way. Besides, it was drilled into me when I learned to shoot "never shoot at a flat surface or at water."

Hey, LH! Do you know how fast one of them rubber rafts deflates after it's shot? It's even more fun with a bow and arrow, 'cause the arrow plugs up the hole until it's taken or knocked out, and you and some buddies can make book on how far the raft'll get!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 03 - 05:44 PM

Try shooting the breeze instead. It's much easier, and no one will come after you for it, unless you're within city limits. Another thing you can easily do is shoot the rapids. All you need is a fast running river.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 03 - 05:32 PM

I was all ready to play tennis once, but then I learned that the young lady planned to knock my balls around with a big racket, all the while shouting things like "Twenty, Love!" (which I presumed was the racket mentioned earlier) to keep score. Since I didn't have twenty, I let tennis slide and decided to shoot golf instead. Got several, found a twenty gauge (bore) using #8 shot was best, but they're stringy little devils after you skin 'em and they have a rubbery flavor and texture. Never could understand why all them fellas were chasin' after me, wavin' those sticks. Shot some pool for a while, too, and was thrown out of the Louvre and the MMA for shooting pictures....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 03 - 05:18 PM

I'd have you a game, but you're too far away from me (isn't that a Mark Knopfler song?).

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 May 03 - 05:13 PM

Dang, this place seems empty without the Tweedzer's input. He is busy roaming the roads and outrunning the law of Mississippi this weekend. If he makes it back home without being sent to Parchman, I am sure he will have a tale to tell.

Meanwhile, MOAB will have to struggle along without him.

Does anyone here have a copy of Tom Jones' Bluegrass album, "Front Porch Pickin'"? Little Hawk and I would pay dearly if you could make us a tape of it! (See Spaw's Birthday Thread for more info on the elusive T.J. album, as well as some wonderful info on the aborted Shatner/Dylan recording sessions!!)

Anyone for tennis?

k


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 03 - 05:11 PM

Oh, Krate Khandu, I had wondered where your palace might be- in driving through Mississippi I had not come upon a suitable abode for your majesty. But I see now that the Khandominium is all-embracingly appropriate for you and your entourage- is there two of you?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 03 - 04:16 PM

Believe it, Mario. A cultural influence so powerful as that cast by William Shatner finds its way into every venue, just as surely as water or air. He is omnipresent!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 May 03 - 04:04 PM

I can't believe this once great BS thread has degenrated to Shatner-speak!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,gourmand
Date: 25 May 03 - 03:53 PM

beats peeled baby!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 23 November 2:13 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.