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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM
Acme 29 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM
Amos 29 Nov 10 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 AM
Acme 29 Nov 10 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 10 - 10:37 PM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 01:00 PM
Acme 28 Nov 10 - 11:19 AM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 10 - 10:07 AM
Amos 28 Nov 10 - 01:33 AM
Acme 28 Nov 10 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 27 Nov 10 - 09:09 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 26 Nov 10 - 11:08 PM
Acme 26 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 10:03 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 10 - 08:48 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 07:18 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 10 - 05:37 PM
Acme 26 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM
Amos 26 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM
Amos 26 Nov 10 - 12:23 AM
Little Hawk 25 Nov 10 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM
Little Hawk 25 Nov 10 - 05:24 PM
Acme 25 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM
Acme 25 Nov 10 - 04:28 PM
gnu 25 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM
Amos 25 Nov 10 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 10 - 11:51 AM
Amos 24 Nov 10 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 10 - 10:58 PM
Little Hawk 24 Nov 10 - 07:47 PM
Amos 24 Nov 10 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 10 - 06:58 PM
Amos 24 Nov 10 - 06:44 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 24 Nov 10 - 04:41 PM
Acme 24 Nov 10 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 24 Nov 10 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 24 Nov 10 - 11:10 AM
Janie 24 Nov 10 - 12:00 AM
Acme 23 Nov 10 - 11:47 PM
Amos 23 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM
Amos 23 Nov 10 - 08:40 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM

Funny - I had to run into the grocery store in my victorian chirstmas garb last night.

I got more funny looks then I do when I go in in my ren-faire garb! And yet it's far closer to "normal" streetwear then the ren garb....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:25 PM

I have a whole yard of extra decorative pilcrows, left over from the last manual I wrote. Would you like them to hang on the tree?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:53 AM

Rapparee was using them in the yard as part of his science project on "the effects of ultraviolet frequencies from solar radiation on the crystallization of post-digestive byproducts from domesticated canines". He was hoping to win the Science Fair this year and go to State, and I told him he probably would go to State, but not the way he meant...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM

I couldn't find any of the decorative spatulas when I was decking out the tree last night. Did one of you take them out of the ornament box? I want them washed and back where they belong by this evening.

Or Else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:18 AM

You got that right, man...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 10:11 AM

Back in high school, Clarity was paramount. Clarity Connors...one of the three female cheerleaders on the cheering squad of the all-boys school. Because it WAS an all-boys school, those who knew were in band -- the only daily co-ed activity. The only co-ed activity that took long trips together. As a result, we were like a family of perfect ladies and gentlemen ("Drink the coffee, it'll put hair on your chest, Joan." "I don't have hair on my chest." "Can I see?" SLAP!). Our band director was a ex-Marine Drill Instructor who had landed in the first waves on Okinawa, Iwo Jima, and Guadalcanal -- no one stepped out of line, at least where he could see them. He was known to bite a sousaphone in two if it was ever so slightly out of tune. One day he was REALLY annoyed by the woodwinds and ate two oboes and a clarinet; he couldn't keep the saxophone down but then no one else could stomach it either.

Ah, those long lost days of my youth -- barefoot walks down sun-drenched lanes to the Old Fishin' Hole, being rescued by Old Shep, Howdy Doody on television, silver mouthpieces who would stay bought...now gone, all gone, to that vale from which no traveler returneth, at least until he serves his sentence. Ou sont les neiges d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:28 AM

I have several button hooks. They were in old sewing kits from my great aunt's house. Today they might be considered torture implements (at least if you tried to take them through an airport.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM

Spats.
Buttonhook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:37 PM

More clarity, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:24 PM

I will be happy to provide you with as many past-perfect spats as you can use. All I have to do is make you spitting mad and then wait a moment, and Voila!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 01:00 PM

We have four TVs and three computers. Mostly we use the computers. I see no need to keep up with every fashion change. In fact, I'm currently looking for a buttonhook so I can do up my shoes -- does anyone have such a thing? It's also time for a new pair of spats!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:19 AM

I noticed some new features loaded into my BluTooth player last time I turned it on. Though why I would want facebook on my television (with no keyboard) is beyond me. NetFlix streams there or computers. Some rooms don't have TV, just radio, and that's enough. The pictures are better on the radio, after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 11:06 AM

Hugs all around, all around.

The kids Tucker and Regina (well, they're twenty-somethings now but you know how it is...) were gobsmacked when we stopped by at Queen Calafia's Magic Circle Garden in Escondido for a visit before Thanksgiving dinner. It is a small place, but it makes you feel you have been transported into another land.

We installed the new Apple TV --about the size of a hockey puck--and linked our wireless network in. We can now play Netflix, Youtube, all our iTunes, photoshows from our computers, internet radio, iTunes movies, podcasts, education lectures and all sorts of fine dstuff through our HDTV. MOST impressive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 10:07 AM

That's very...incomprehensible...Amos. I assume that it's something about hootchy-kootchy dancers of the 19th Century?

You'll be pleased to know, I'm sure, that this is the birthday of John Bunyan, William Blake, Friedrich Engels, and Claude Levi-Strauss. Celebrate! Bring in 19th Century hootchy-kootchy dancers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 01:33 AM

Second the motion.

In my ramblings I have found this Gertrude Stein pastiche, “Poem About a Ball in the Nineteenth Century”:

    >Feather, feather, if it was a feather, feathers for fair, or to be fair, aroused. Round to be airy, feather, if it was airy, very, aviary, fairy, peacock to be well surrounded. Well-aired, amoving, to peacock, cared for, share dancing inner to be among aware.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 10 - 12:19 AM

There are so many recognized levels of Down Syndrome these days, and there is so much therapeutic work to be done, there is a lot of hope for a relatively good outcome. Seriously. I worked with a recreation program for several years in college; their main clients were handicapped adults, and there has been so much research and progress for Down Syndrome children and adults.

Big hug for you, Eiseley, and your brother's family.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 09:09 PM

That's wonderful...EXCEPT that I found Mom third, yes, THIRD from the bottom!

Eiseley, give the kid a special hug. She'll be needing hugs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 11:08 PM

I was able to welcome a brand new niece into the world yesterday. She is beautiful and healthy and oh, so sweet. . . .

. . . She also has Down Syndrome.

So it is a bittersweet time. My brother and his wife are still reeling, but the little sweetheart couldn't be more loved.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM

Don't you just LOVE how spell check has not a spec of syntax sense? Moped/mopped, they're both words. That's all it cares. No little red squiggly lines for either of those clusters of letters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:03 PM

You can walk under an umbrella with a girl with legs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:48 PM

"Under no circumstance should two men share an umbrella"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM

"You can cheat on girls with hairy legs"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:18 PM

According to information received here in Indiana, the Legion Hovel experienced a devastating fire last night when Short Rounds O'Really consumed too much of a Certain Ethnic Food and, while in the Necessary Room, lit a cigar. Short Rounds was found in Inkom, his clothing and hair burned, and the "Gents" will take at least two weeks to repair. In the meantime, the lease of several Porta-Potties has been arranged. Oddly, there were no real injuries and the explosion and fire wasn't noticed by the habituees until the Fire Brigade arrived. The absence of Short Rounds completely unnoticed, as is usual.

More on this later, especially after I get back and can obtain more information.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 05:37 PM

I moped a floor once, but was told to suck it up and be a man. Since I was already a boy at the time it was pretty easy, but a long wait. In fact, I'm still waiting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM

I thought MOM said she wanted to sleep till noon. Amos jumped the gun.

I'll let the dogs in and they can scope out any crumbs dropped at dinner. Easier that moping the floor. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM

Oh, Mom! The SLOTH! The NEGLECT!! Does no-one love you as I do? The vaunted breakfast-makers, the curriers of Favour, the flatterers and sycophants--where are they now? Here, come up the list with me, and we will have a nice long talk abut metaphysics, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 12:23 AM

Hahaha!! I have driven home in my fine car with beautiful women in all the seats from a gorgeous Thanksgiving dinner with every imaginable delight, music and good wine and intelligent conversation, and I am stuffed with turkey and strudel and nice wine and full of good feelings. I am surrounded by affectionate family members and am one of the luckiest men alive. So, I am glad you do not envy me anything, good Hawkster, as it would only diminish from my delight.

As for Rapaire, I chide him for specific, repeated errors. Only this, and nothing more. I chide him when he brown-noses, when he plagiarizes, when he self-inflates, and when he overdoes the rasty lust for violence. In all other things, I praise him to the skies.

And you, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:14 PM

Yes. The only thing I envy the poor chap for is the weather!

It's getting quite nasty here. Freezing rain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM

Oh, I don't mind. I made Amos the way the is, and I'm certain I did so for good and sufficient reasons at the time. I'll be damned if I remember them now, but I'm sure they seemed quite comme il fait at the time. Or perhaps they were comme il faux. In any case, I'm currently in Indiana and, thank Me!, not in someplace like San Diego. Always wondered why I created that place, too. Probably to keep Amos in....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 05:24 PM

How long have you been suffering from this insecurity-driven need to constantly belittle Rapparee, Amos? Does it stem from that unfortunate incident in 3rd Grade when your mother forced you to wear the red and green-striped knee socks to school? Or was it a prenatal trauma of some sort? Did your mother consort with free range Wallabies in her youth or read too much Emily Dickinson at an early age? Have you consulted Herr Liebenscheiss to get to the bottom of the traumatic issues that are now troubling you? I think you should. ;-) What you need, my good man, is a thorough emotional release...a reformatting of the emotional hard disk, so to speak, and a brand new start, unencumbered with the baggage of the past. Chongo has said he is willing to help you with that, but I don't think you'd like his therapeutic methods...

Best talk to Herr Liebenscheiss instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:30 PM

Oops. Typo. I suspect strongly that "shuffing" is illegal in the lower 48. I meant "shuffling," as in decks of playing cards. Sorry for inadvertently casting any aspersions. (I packed most of them away until fishing season opens again, but there was still one on the kitchen window sill.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:28 PM

My guests will be arriving late, so I'll hang out with MOM if you're all off shooshing and shuffing cards and tippling wine. She can choose the next holiday movie to stick in the player.

Have a great day, all! And watch those falls in the snow - it only LOOKS soft to land in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM

Thanks A. Right back atchya. Actually, my next Thanksgiving will be Sunday as Grade A perseasoned (WETF that means - dressing already in?) frozen turkeys are $1.49 a pound tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 12:57 PM

Rapp once again demonstrates the awesome insidioussness of the Axis of Self-Inflation, Kiss-up, and Brown-Noses. Terrifying.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 11:51 AM

Here, Mom. Let me lift you up into Thanksgiving since no one else wants to do so. Have a little glass of this nice wine...Mom! A little glass, not the whole bottle! Couth, like you taught us. Don't chug the bottle...besides, there's lots more where that came from. Yes, it's your favorite: Boone's Farm Strawberry Mad Dog Ripple 20/20.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 11:59 PM

Clearly the loss was unbearable, and so you took on the attributes of a curly-haired Weisenheimer yourself!

Hoorah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 10:58 PM

I think one of the dogs we had when I was a kid many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many years ago was a Curly-haired Weisenheimer. Wasn't much of a dog, but he saved my life one day at the old swimmin' hole when he saw me goin' up and down instead of laterally. He jumped in and pulled me to shore and applied artificial respiration. I'd just been jumping around because of the fish nibbling on my toes (they were just little piranhas, not worth noticing much at all) and this crazy dog drags me through the mud and gunk, flops me over on my stomach, and starts artificial respiration! I would have kicked him, only I'm much too humane to do something like that and besides, he stood about 10 hands high at the shoulder and had teeth like long knives. Crooked and kinda pointing every which way, but teeth all the same. That was old Shoosh -- short for Gaseous Champion of Flatulence. I'll never forget him. In fact, the house we lived in reeks to this day of old Shoosh. It's kept soaked in "Midnight In Keokuk" parfum de toilet by orders of the Health Department. Yeah, between Shoosh and my two brothers my childhood was...well, my sense of smell disappeared when I was about 10 due to odor overload.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 07:47 PM

It's Thanksgiving there? We had ours last month. Well, thanks for the good wishes, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 07:43 PM

Dear Mom, Rapparee, Little Hawk, Stilly, Eiseley, Gnu, and all MOABers everywhere:

Have a wonderful weekend and a great Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for our little cluster of weisenheimers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 06:58 PM

You can't trust the news anymore, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 06:44 PM

Rapp, I hate to break this to ya, but someone has been painting your town white. Probably one of those drunk journalists at the Idaho State Journal offices, a wicked bunch of rowdy lowlifes if ever there was one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 04:41 PM

Whew! After a very long, slow, slick drive I'm finally in the bosom of the family. It'll all be cleared up by Saturday, probably, so the drive back should be faster and drier. There was blessedly little fighting in the car. Thank goodness for books on tape.

There's only about half as much snow here as up north---plenty for a good snowball fight, though! Bye for now, and thanks for the wonderful ski poem.

Wheeeee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 11:26 AM

Streets are a little slushy, but very pretty. Maybe Eiseley can go wave at the camera later for us to see. :)

MOM, it's that busy day before Thanksgiving. Be sure you don't slip on any dropped food like you did a couple of years ago. It was so frightening to find you sprawled out, unconscious, on the kitchen floor, the dogs having cleaned up the food evidence and curled up next to you waiting for you to wake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 11:12 AM

Oh,heck. Why not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 11:10 AM

Might take a minute, but you can see that it's not too bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 12:00 AM

Snow? And here I am, dithering over what to pack for 40 degree weather over Thanksgiving. - worried about frostbite!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 11:47 PM

I have an old wooden pair of snowshoes here in Texas, where they are attractive wall hangings. And they have neoprene bindings. No crampons.

Cute, Amos. Eiseley, careful with those ski poles. You can put someone's eye out if you poke at any of those cars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 11:11 PM

Slitherly slidezly
Goes our Eiseley
Smoothly on her skis
While the skies drop
Snowlies icely,
Bringing ski-less drivers
To their knees.
Oh how wisely goes
Our Eiseley
Freely skiing blithely
Slithery slidezley
On her skis
So free.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 10:38 PM

Just make sure that s**w is cleared outa there by Saturday afternoon. I haven't switched the snowblower and the lawnmower yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 08:40 PM

Oh, you old curmudgeon!!


A


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