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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 16 Feb 07 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM
Amos 16 Feb 07 - 09:06 PM
Bunnahabhain 16 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM
Acme 16 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 07 - 12:00 PM
Amos 16 Feb 07 - 11:11 AM
Acme 16 Feb 07 - 10:54 AM
Amos 16 Feb 07 - 10:48 AM
Acme 16 Feb 07 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 16 Feb 07 - 08:42 AM
MMario 16 Feb 07 - 08:38 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 09:09 PM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 07 - 09:05 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 08:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 07 - 07:38 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 06:31 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 01:20 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 01:17 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 01:16 PM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 07 - 01:06 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 01:01 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 12:45 PM
Acme 15 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 12:10 PM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM
Acme 15 Feb 07 - 11:28 AM
JennyO 15 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 10:28 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Feb 07 - 10:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 07 - 09:47 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM
Amos 15 Feb 07 - 12:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 PM
Acme 14 Feb 07 - 10:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 07 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 07 - 10:03 PM
Bobert 14 Feb 07 - 09:51 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:50 PM

Well, I was gonna ask Stilly to co-author because she was demonstrating knowledge of the innate principles, you see. I will send you licensing fees as soon as you "get the staff right on it" and I get the first year's grant money. I look forward to a brilliant and timely performance on the part of "the staff".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM

Don't forget the licensing fees that you'll have to send me as Licensing Fee Overlord And Collector. You can go to jail if you don't send the appropriate fees to me, the government agent who's in charge of the Licensing Fees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:06 PM

Right. I was thinking of asking if you'd like to be a coauthor, for a reasonable fee, of course.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM

Nothingness is very useful sometimes, especially in a bowling ball. We were playing skittles this evening, ie bowling on not all that even lanes, with targets volunteers resetting the pins by hand, and no holes in the ball. And good beer. Saftey precautions were well timed shouts of 'move', and the fact we're all dancers, and should be able to dodge....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM

This project will certainly forward the field of human knowledge both as regards the dynamics of non-structured cognitive exchange environments, and as regards Ilkdom in general.


Meaning, how did I actually manage to communicate in a non-structured way to the dogs to stay off of the bed. Right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:00 PM

I'll have the staff get right on it, after they get the other stuff done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:11 AM

I would appreciate it if any of you more intimately familiar with the grant process could spare some effort and get me a grant for a research project on the Ineluctability of Ilk as a Cognitive Strange Attractor in Non-Structured Communication Environments.

While most professional observers to non-structured cognitive-exchange environments consider the phenomenon ineffable and almost a secret talisman of the trade, this project will boldly bring forth and underscore the entire tawdry truth. It will set the academic world back on its heels, or its ears if it is standing on its head at the moment of comprehension.

Because of the many sites that need to be researched, the project grant should be on the order of 800K for the first year and 300K for each of two additional years.

This project will certainly forward the field of human knowledge both as regards the dynamics of non-structured cognitive exchange environments, and as regards Ilkdom in general.

Many thanks for your kind consideration,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:54 AM

I was actually astonished that they followed the rules. I half-expected to find them somewhere on the bed when I woke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:48 AM

It is very salubrious to laugh heartily into your pillow -- at least, it is good for the pillow. Studies show that laughing into a pillow for at least five minutes once a week can extend the life expectancy of the pillow by about 23% compared to pillows owned and used by non-laughers. I have always belileved that bed is no place to be serious, and this proves it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:40 AM

Right now I'd tolerate this standing on my head stuff for a trip to the warmer hemisphere to warm up. Geez, what is with this weather? I brought the dogs in to sleep in the house last night because it was so cold in their stall in the garage.

These dogs are outside dogs, so when they do get to come inside they have to check everything out. I shut them in my room where I turned the covered cat box in my bathroom around (to keep inquiring noses out of it) and the cats slept in my son's room or wherever they wanted in the rest of the house. They have food and another box in the laundry room. I spread out a bunch of old towels on top of a thick rug so the dogs could sleep there, and the pit bull caught on right away. The catahoula made several attempts to convince me to let her sleep on the bed, but she was a bed hog the one time she did sleep there (she weighed 30 pounds). Now she's at least 55 pounds and it would be a miserable night's sleep.

The funny thing was that they were quiet the entire time before I went to bed, and calm, but as soon as I was in bed and turned off the light there were no vocalizations but they had to get up and smell everything. As they walked around in the dark all I could hear was the rapid and constant tinkling of their dog tags as they moved around giving everything a quick once-over. I was lying in bed laughing into my pillow trying not to attract their attention, and after about five minutes they settled down and not a peep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:42 AM

Yes, it's the original Ilks Club.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:38 AM

Ever noticed that MOAB keeps coming back to the discussion of Ilk?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:09 PM

A quick update on the Legionaires and Legionettes in jail:

I went over to the bank and found that there was only US $1.97 in the Idaho Legion Bail Fund. This was not enough to get The Eleven out of durance vile, so they're still in the slammer. Seems like Murderin' Milquetoast, the Legion Toastmaster, "borrowed" pretty much all of the Bail Fund to finance his recent trip to Las Vegas. It wouldn't be that bad except he had to call home for some money because "Rat and Vinny are gonna break my knees otherwise." Something about a crooked card game and Murd gettin' caught dealing off the bottom or something.

Anyway, I think that ol' Murd had better make some tracks before The Eleven raise bail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:05 PM

While she waits for the Warren Zevon video to load... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:41 PM

Actually, I was in bed asleep. Even Ilks have to sleep some time, and southern hemisphere Ilk do it standing on their heads, as you know.

Now I stand in stunned silence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 07:38 PM

Every time I post a really world-class piece of shabby doggerel on this thread, everyone clams up.

What is UP wid dat?



Think of it as stunned silence, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM

16,200 is not a number "square and true" as the square root of 16,200 is 127.279220613, more or less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 06:31 PM

Every time I post a really world-class piece of shabby doggerel on this thread, everyone clams up.

What is UP wid dat?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:20 PM

For a number square,
And bold, and rare
And fine and good, and true!
You may flip in pursuit
Of that pinwheel suit,
I'll stand on with Sixteen Two!

Cleanth Arbuthnot, Chief Numerologist
Smithsonian Institute of Cogntiive Variance Newsletter
Washington, D.C., August 1957


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:17 PM

But for me, well I'll
Stay unbeguiled
For all their fluff and dunder
And I'll hold my hand,
And take a stand
For a different sort of number....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:16 PM

Oh, Ilk may do as ilk will do,
Where the pinwheel churns and thunders,
And the glamourouos sheen of that spinning mean
Makes the mind a slave to numbers...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:06 PM

That Jungle Book writing was simply marvelous, "ilk" or no "ilk". I think it was Kipling's finest work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:06 PM

I don't suppose any Elf ilk would be able to put an "end italics" bracket in my last post right after "ye and I....". Hmmm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 01:01 PM

If Science Fictiondom can have filksongs, can MOAB have ilksongs?

I mean real songs, not like the cross between bagpipes, a love-sick moose, and a diesel train horn that is the natural Cry of the Ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

Yes, those historic, dramatic days of collisions between We Happy Few Ilk, and the marauding, ravenous intrusions of the Wild Ilk (known locally as the Other Ilk) has been often recorded in song through the centuries, a branch of ethnomusicology known as Ilk Songs. Not to be confused with Filk Music.

Confusing though it may be to the Happy Few who were, in those distant days of murky history, painted with the tar brush of Wild Ilk genomes run amok... it is still wise to know as far as it is possible, just what Ilk one is of, in order to understand when hearing about others of that Ilk. Although it was once scandalous to be said to have a mixed Ilk heritage, it is now fairly comfortably confronted that we are all of perhaps mixed Ilk. It is even thought in some rarified academic circles that we are all of one Ilk in the distant past, a porposition which of course has raised the hackles and baboon-like protests of those whose religious comfort or sense of social superiority depends on the thin and fragile assumption of privileged Ilkdom. The Bohemian poet Ruddy Yard-Ilkling putit best when he wrote the immortal lines:

"We be of one Ilk, ye and I....".

But of all Ilk, to which the sons of Man may lay claim to be of, there is none so disgraced as the Banderlog ilk. TUrning again to the wisdom of the great Kippleilk speaking in the voice of the Great Baloo:

"I have taught thee all the Law of the Jungle for all the peoples of the jungle--except the Monkey-Folk who live in the trees. They have no law. They are outcasts. They have no speech of their own, but use the stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep, and wait up above in the branches. Their way is not our way. They are without leaders. They have no remembrance. They boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people about to do great affairs in the jungle, but the falling of a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten. We of the jungle have no dealings with them. We do not drink where the monkeys drink; we do not go where the monkeys go; we do not hunt where they hunt; we do not die where they die. Hast thou ever heard me speak of the Bandar-log till today?"

"No," said Mowgli in a whisper, for the forest was very still now Baloo had finished.

"The Jungle-People put them out of their mouths and out of their minds. They are very many, evil, dirty, shameless, and they desire, if they have any fixed desire, to be noticed by the Jungle People. But we do not notice them even when they throw nuts and filth on our heads."

He had hardly spoken when a shower of nuts and twigs spattered down through the branches; and they could hear coughings and howlings and angry jumpings high up in the air among the thin branches.

"The Monkey-People are forbidden," said Baloo, "forbidden to the Jungle-People. Remember."

"Forbidden," said Bagheera, "but I still think Baloo should have warned thee against them."

"I--I? How was I to guess he would play with such dirt. The Monkey People! Faugh!"

A fresh shower came down on their heads and the two trotted away, taking Mowgli with them. What Baloo had said about the monkeys was perfectly true. They belonged to the tree-tops, and as beasts very seldom look up, there was no occasion for the monkeys and the Jungle-People to cross each other's path. But whenever they found a sick wolf, or a wounded tiger, or bear, the monkeys would torment him, and would throw sticks and nuts at any beast for fun and in the hope of being noticed. Then they would howl and shriek senseless songs, and invite the Jungle-People to climb up their trees and fight them, or would start furious battles over nothing among themselves, and leave the dead monkeys where the Jungle-People could see them. They were always just going to have a leader, and laws and customs of their own, but they never did, because their memories would not hold over from day to day, and so they compromised things by making up a saying, "What the Bandar-log think now the jungle will think later," and that comforted them a great deal. None of the beasts could reach them, but on the other hand none of the beasts would notice them, and that was why they were so pleased when Mowgli came to play with them, and they heard how angry Baloo was. "



Learn and ponder, tadpoles all, and reflect on the Ilk of which you would name yourselves!

A

italics closed - m-ilk-tooth faery-clone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:45 PM

We had a folk song written about us, too - called "Ilk-crest Mine".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

Ilk or Filk Filch?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM

PINWHEEL NUMBER 16191!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM

For instance, numbers. Especially....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM

We Happy Ilks have a few strange habits - we like to collect things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM

Due to an unfortunate incident in the dim distant past, a time that us Happy Ilks don't like to think about too much - marauding herds of Wild Ilk plundered and pillaged and raped without any regard for the gentle peace-loving traditions of Ilkdom. There was a certain amount of cross-pollination at the time, which was probably good for the problems you mentioned, Amos, but traumatic nonetheless. However, with the exception of a few Ilklets of doubtful parentage, we are still the TRUE ILK.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:10 PM

The common ilk, as BWL says, associates almost entirely only with its own kind, usually a small subset thereof, throughout its life cycle. As a result, the over-use of one's own ilk has often led to breeding problems, mutations, and an inability to relate socially with others not of one's own ilk. This lack of cross-pollination among ilk reduces the number of ilks available for new entities to elect themselves as one of and reduces the number of definitions available for others of his ilk as well, since the total number of ilks is reduced.

Fortunately, the Uncommon Ilk, or Rare Breed, is not subject to these difficulties, and in some cases has been known to refresh the gene pool available to those of the common Ilk. The Uncommon Ilk is also, by reason of this difference, much harder to find (as its name indicates) and in fact many women have been known to spend their lives seeking someone of this Ilk, often with quite frustrating results.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM

Common, Bee-dubya-ell? There may be a lot of us, but we are not common!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

Due to its propensity toward associating with its own kind, the common ilk tends to be rather naive, gullible and easily deluded. In other words, it's pretty easy to bilk an ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:28 AM

Ours is the perky pinup Smooth-Ass-ilk variety.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM

I am basically a happy Ilk. My Ilk are content to graze upon clumps of M-Ilk-thistle, which gives our coats a lovely S-Ilk-y sheen. We are also highly prized for our lovely creamy M-Ilk, which we give generously. We are only very distantly related to the Wild Ilk, who live on Ilk-ley Moor - baht 'at, I am told.

Aaaah - it's an Ilk's life!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:28 AM

Which often resulted in the peasant muttering "Lairdass!" under his breath.

Now the perplexity on all this is that all of us -- you, me, BWL with his brilliant fancies, even Khandu, walking through the long black miles of his self-imposed exile -- all of us, I say, are of some ilk or other. As the old song puts it, "Everybody's Somebody's Ilk".

Of which ilk are you? Have you traced your nature to find out of which (of the many possible ilks) you are? Are you a happy ilk? Or, do you (like Donald Trump, and others of his ilk) suffer, behind a facade of complaisance, the pangs of a yearning desire to find better, more rewarding ilk of which to become?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:06 AM

The IIRC have done something about it. You should have seen it in the Mesolithic, before we had a significant impact on the Ilk numbers. Their heads were so vast they blocked out the sun, but but the hunters soon tired of the lush paradise that was Scotland of the time, and slaughtered enough of the marauding beasts to create piles of the dead thousands of feet high, which in these sadly rational times, we refer to as the Highlands.

Of course, these were the much larger wild Ilk. The ones we currently see have been crossbreeding with escaped domestic ilk, which are much smaller, and smell less. The rules were introduced to preserve the remaining few wild ilk, and because Morlington crescent had not yet been invented, as the London underground had not been constructed yet.

If a peasant was found hunting Ilk in contravention of the rules, then he had to make up a rule allowing his actions on the spot that was deemed to be sufficiently convincing, or would be condemned to some horrible fate, such as exile to England, being forced to marry the Lairds really ugly daughter, or something else, depending on the mood of the laird.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:47 AM

The difference between a fack-simile machine and a fack-metaphor machine is this:

If you make a gravestone rubbing in an old New England cemetery and insert it into a fack-simile machine, what comes out the other end looks like the original rubbing.

But if you put that same rubbing into a fack-metaphor machine, what comes out the other end is a picture of a large white whale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:41 AM

Doesn't the IIRC have rules about ilk and other wild game in the Highlands? When I was there you couldn't shoot a haggis but you could club a wild one to death if you were attacked, assuming that the moon was at least a quarter waning and there was a "W" in the month when the name of the month was spoken in Gaelige AND you had two sober witnesses. I did see great herds of ilk grazing, though. Eating the grasses down to the roots, causing the Great Barren Reef that divides Scotland lengthwise from Cornwall, the source of the dust storms that plague the Lake District like the plague. You'd think that the IIRC would do something about all that, wouldn't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM

Why do lots of people have fack-simile machines, but nobody has a fack-metaphor machine?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM

'Of that Ilk' is genealogical term applied to the hereditary peerages of the Clan chiefs of Scotland. It has something to do with the interaction between between the lordship of somewhere, the leadership of the Clan of that place, and your branch of the family.

The trouble is, the Title 'Lord XZY', and the leadership of the Clan XYZ are separate, although normally held by the same person, and IIRC, follow slightly different rules for how they descend the generations. Of that Ilk simply means of the place, and is seems to be applied with a blunderbuss to the list of Lairds, and I'm not even going to try to understand what the Macdonalds of Macdonald are up to,but I suppose there would have been a fairly limited gene pool in some of the more isolated highland areas...


And if anyone understood that, make your way to the tavern immediately for remedial alcohol, to remove this dangerous knowledge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

There ain't no simile like a fack-simile.

And you may quote me on that. In fack, please do so. Over and over and over, until people throw up when they see you coming. Just be sure to provide accurate citation and don't fail to send quarterly royalty checks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 12:44 AM

But one thing we have learned on the long road to 16K is, that there is no ilk like MOAB ilk, and that's a fack. Or a reasonable fact-simile thereof.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 11:37 PM

See, that's what I meant when I said one of our noble aims here at the MOAB is to "provide free legal aid to unjustly imprisoned ilks everywhere". Of course, the Idaho Legion boys don't really qualify since they are nobody's ilk. In fact, it's not a good idea to even use the word "ilk" in the presence of a Legionaire since he might think it's a cuss word in French or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:48 PM

I just got a phone call from the Legion Hovel. Or to be more accurate, from the Bannock County Jail. Bail is needed (again) because the joint was raided and some of the girls and boys became a tad obstinate when the cops tried to seperate them from their earnings.

These folks figger that craps is a game of skill, especially if they're using Murky Moe's dice. You gotta be skillful to use dice as loaded as these are.

Anyway, it seems like one of the neighbors, Miss Priscilla Sharpe, took exception to Lucky Larry relieving himself outdoors when both the Pointers and the Setters had lines and Lucky really needed to get some relief from the hydralic pressure.

Naturally, when the cops got there they found the Tangential Crap Game going on and pulled a raid. This somewhat annoyed Murky and the twenty or thirty others who had bets laid, and the deputy called for backup. When the backup got there, the game was again going hot and heavy and there was a deputy sheriff, sans culottes, tied to a mule and facing the wrong way for the saddle.

Well, he really wasn't without pants. They were easy to find, being carefully fitted over his head. What he objected to the most was that his undies were fitted skid marks to the front and some prankster had used a permanent marker to color his "anatomy" bright Kelly green.

So the riot squad tossed in some tear gas, and it was tossed right back out and the shutters slammed shut. The cops tried a lot of things: flash-bang grenades, warnings, loud rock music, water cannon, but none of it disturbed the shooters inside. Finally, one of the Common Ordinary Deputy Sheriffs (CODS) had the inspiration that broke the siege: he turned off the hoses from the beer cars.

Within five minutes the surrender came. Drythroat Danny came out, gagging, begging for beer, and the deputies forced their way through the door. They confiscated the dice, the money (eleven dollars and sixty-three cents), the old Army blanket they were throwing the dice on, and arrested the lot of 'em.

Apparently only a few cops were injured, nothing more than a few broken bones and smacked heads and, wonder of wonders, no shots were fired! Well, actually Soapy did get loose and manage to fire off the Idaho Legion's Official Salute Cannon and Starter Pistol, hopin' that it would attract help, but it didn't.

Anyway, I'm going to have a few folks paroled into my custody again. Gotta run; I'm meeting the bank president in a few minutes to pick up the money in the Idaho Legion Bail Fund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:27 PM

I sent Bobert over here for a breath of fresh air. Seems he's been hammered by some of the neo-Con members of Mudcat (they usually get run out of here pretty fast. And even a nasty like MartinGibson was no match for MOM). Though the breeze is coming from the general direction of the barnyard, it's a much better mix of air molecules here than you'll find in some of the short-timer threads out there. No one here minds the smell of compost, so Bobert's a natural!

And frankly, some of the WORST puns and the funniest stories have appeared here in MOAB that I defy any of those other puny little threads to equal. I've reprinted one of BWL's stories in here a couple times--every time I read it I'm in stitches and have to make sure I don't have any liquids nearby that I might have to clean off of the keyboard or screens.

I'll go looking for that one in particular--I think I saved it in a text file. . .maybe I'll spare the others and send it in a PM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:08 PM

Yes, politics is pretty much frowned upon here at the MOAB. This place is sorta like an old west saloon where ya hafta leave yer six-shooter an' pig-sticker with th' bartender when ya come in.

See, that allows us MOABites to appear all innocent and noncommittal while, in fact, we're hatching a plot under which we hope to achieve world domination, rid society of the heartbreak of psoriasis, and provide free legal aid to unjustly imprisoned ilks everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:03 PM

Okay, okay. No paint.

Maybe a nice enamel though...or varnish. How's about some varnish? The real, old-fashioned stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:51 PM

Okay, Rap, now ya heared it on two 'er 3 threads: NO PAINT!!! Brandin' irons??? Okay, let's talk, but NO PAINT!!! Then you have to scrape it down every 5 years and repaint... NO PAINT!!!


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