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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM
Amos 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM
Acme 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM
Rapparee 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM
Little Hawk 07 Dec 12 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 12 - 09:08 AM
Amos 07 Dec 12 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 11:39 PM
Acme 06 Dec 12 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM
Amos 06 Dec 12 - 07:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 05:26 PM
Little Hawk 06 Dec 12 - 12:19 PM
GUEST,Simon of Rottingham 06 Dec 12 - 09:10 AM
Acme 06 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 12:16 AM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 12 - 08:53 PM
gnu 05 Dec 12 - 07:29 PM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 07:02 PM
Amos 05 Dec 12 - 06:55 PM
gnu 05 Dec 12 - 05:35 PM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 02:27 PM
gnu 05 Dec 12 - 01:59 PM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 01:18 PM
Amos 05 Dec 12 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 11:03 AM
Acme 05 Dec 12 - 12:53 AM
GUEST 04 Dec 12 - 11:08 PM
GUEST,The Evil Galactic Overlord 04 Dec 12 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 12 - 09:15 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 12 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 12 - 10:21 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

It's no wonder Chongo harbours resentment against you, Amos! Don't forget: He was born in sunny equatorial Africa. Now he must cope with the windy streets of Chicago in December.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM

GO FISH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM

You guys are kidding, right? Around the CORNER? We're suffering winter sunshine in all its full-on fury. It comes down from the skies, fills up the yards, bounces off the houses and into the streets. And COLD? Well, I swan. I had to wear a light jacket all morning!! ALL MORNING!! Can you BELIEVE that? Where's all that global warming now, wise guys? I didn't even want to go swimming today it was so frigid at the beach. I don't know what this world is coming to!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM

"MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders?"

Ahhh, same thing, innit?

Re winter....

Subject: RE: What's the weather like where you are?
From:gnu - PM
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

45.5 down under? Well, I just rearranged the garages, placed the snowblower in my garage, serviced and gassed it, gassed the generator, put brooms and small shovels and scrapers in both weehicles, put large shovels near the doors of each garage and inside my house by the back door, bungee corded one large shovel to the railing at my back door, and parked my truck with the back of the cab in line with the front of my house.

It was clear and sunny and 4C this afternoon with a 40kph NW wind that died to nare a strip o wind two hours before dark! First NW this fall when it was less than 10C. I can smell it! New moon on the 13th... any time within the next 24 to 96 hours we will have our first "winter". It won't be bad but we will see the face of Old Man Winter. Miserable old git that he can be.

Now, I could be wrong but my old man taught me well... we'll see.

Freda... 45.5C? That is insufferable! My heart sweats for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM

Around the corner on the calendar for you, around the corner on the weather forecast for us. It's cooling considerably this afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM

It's not around the corner here. It's in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM

Winter is just around the corner. MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders? Anyone bring back roadkill for that platform up in the pine out back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

He loves chicken strips, so that's what we made. I posted a YouTube video (not listed) with a demonstration, and we went through the tips today. I think he has this one nailed. Next we'll do chicken marsala.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM

Very good. The very first thing I learned to cook was crepes (with sweet filling), because I felt that my mother wasn't making them nearly often enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM

My youngest child is now back in town. We went from the airport to the kitchen and made a late lunch. He is wanting to learn how to cook because he apparently wants some control over what he gets to eat. Good for him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM

I have a copy, first printing!, of "A Long Shot". I must see if I can find it. I wrote it in 1984.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM

They snipe the trash cans and gutters for the dregs left in the cups. Kinda like Shame does at Tim's.

By the way, I have thus far cataloged 1,267 of my books. That's 298,266 pages, or an average of 245 pages per book. And I ain't done yet, not by a long shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM

I have a hard time connecting gutter bums with Starbucks for some reason... ;-) Starbucks is too expensive for the homeless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM

Yeah, hanging around Starbucks and other low dives destroys what was once a promising youth. Now look at poor Amos! All grizzled up and bumming roaches off other gutter bums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM

When he overdoses on Chai Latte' he goes totally wild.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM

Amos has a naughty-cal background and, well, you know them sailors....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM

You beat up a cow on the docks? Cows are female bovines, BTW. But, I assume, in yer drunken state, down on the docks, late at night, well...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM

It was a problem of cheesecake, not beefsteak. Anyway, it was just a scratch, and you shoulda seen da udder guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM

Why were you up so late? Were you out carousing down near the docks again? Mom said that if you have another black eye you'll have to buy your own beefsteak this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM

WHy should someone as uneven as Rapparee have any claim on an even number? I think he should be confined to odd numbers henceforth, for good and sufficient and self-evident reason.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM

The next true spinner number will be 60009. This, on the other hand, was the next even number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 02:04 PM

Dibs on 66666. I like to plan well ahead.

Amos, Chongo needs your mailing address. He wants to send you something nice for Christmas. Maybe you could PM it to me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 09:08 AM

Dibs on 46664.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 08:54 AM

Jazzy title for a pop song,t here Rapp:

As we demean the demesne
It brings back a feeling revolting
Like hippopotami pole-vaulting
WHen they demean
The demsne


I'm with you once more
Riding with Mom
And picking her up
WHen she goes insane
And Stilly and Gnu
Are shaking thier manes
As we demean
The demesne.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 11:39 PM

I have been cataloging my books. So far I have cataloged 1,187 of them, with only 5 duplications.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 10:00 PM

I think Simon should have used a superscript for the thorn.


Instead of ye fire armes it would be ye fire armes. Or type this Þ (Þ)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM

Amos, do not demean this demesne. It is all we have at the moment. I'm certain Simon had a good reason to leave it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 07:46 PM

A well grounded argument, good Rapp. As for Simon's incomprehensible pseudobabble, we are well off he has long left this mortal demesne.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 05:26 PM

Every dachshund owner I know (and I know several) shovels the yard clear of snow and puts a series of overhead electric heater up so the poor little things can do what they need to do in comfort. During snowy or rainy weather they protect the poor little darling with an umbrella. Daisy Gnedddenhutten was electrocuted last winter when the umbrella she was carrying over her Precious Pepper touched the heating elements of an overhead electric heater; Precious Pepper wouldn't go out again for a couple of hours after that tragedy.

I'm not saying that you should go so far as to electrocute yourself for dachshunds, LH, but certainly you must have the dog's "grounds" arranged as above and so do be careful carrying the umbrella.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:19 PM

Hmmm. Well, that was different! Thanks, Simon.

Stilly, you have given sage advice there. Yes, Dachshunds always pee on the carpet, NOT on the bare floor! They find it better that way, rotten little things that they are. Persuading them to go out on a cold night isn't easy. A measure of force is usually required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Simon of Rottingham
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 09:10 AM

Ye Bludynez Manuscript or Palimpsest


on making ye defense et attacke.




Know that I, Simon of Rottinham, do yis dai put penne to papre and committ to riting all that I hast lernt of
defense et attacke during mi long and honirable careere in ye military armes. I do yis so yt ye info might not be lost to
the ken of mortal menne nor or mortal womenne eiyer. By doing yis I hast made it so yt ye-all will not have to
reinvente ye wheele, so to speake.




Know ye yt ye best defense ist ye good ofense, and take up to live as best as ye can to my stile of life, as e’en my gud
wyfe doy say, Ye art ye most offensif wight who ne’er wiped shoen before y-comin in from ye mud and slyme of ye
barnyard. And yen she doth hitteth me with ye spyder, ye pot, ye skyllet, and ye pan. Learn that e’en being ye best
ofensif doth no always prevail, e’en tho’ ‘tis said to be ye best defens.




And take ye oeroes, and grind them fyne, and mix with 2 parts of oereos so ground 3 parts of sand and wette ye same
wiy bullock’s blud sufficient, and ye wals made with yis most excellente siment or mortyr will withstand ye trebuchet,
ye oranger, ye mining, ye 175 mm goone howitzere and wilt, if mixes aright, e’en turn thy M1A1 tanke of Abrams.




And best for ye defensee when confronted by ye force superiore too one’s own, is to droppeth thy breeches, grasp thy
ankles with thy handes, right to right and left to left, and laboring ahard at it, swingeth betwen thy own legges, and
kisseth thy arse goodby. Rember, yo, yat yere be no dishonour in running to fight another daye.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

Hey guys, looks like winter might finally arrive. Will one of you go knock the chunk of 2x4 out of the window jamb so MOM doesn't get cold in her room tonight? And reach up on that high shelf in the closet and get another quilt to throw on her bed. And LH, let that dachshund out to pee before bedtime so he doesn't leave a puddle on the carpet again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:16 AM

Yeah, it was gettin' to be a real drag in the Army, with the sergeant bitchin' all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM

That's good to hear, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 08:53 PM

Second childhood? Third childhood?

Hell, I never left my first. I'm still the sweet, charming, innocent young thing I always was. Except I'm now potty trained.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 07:29 PM

"BEst to just humor or ignore him on this issue. He seems to have held on to his usual level of near-competency on other topics except for political matters."

Ohhh... yeah... that explains it quite queerly... ahhh... clearly. Let's go with that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 07:02 PM

Yes, and I am very proud of my near-competency! ;-D But you wrong me, sir. I am approaching my third childhood. My second childhood began around the time I got the idea that finding the right woman would make me gloriously happy for the rest of my life! I finally disabused myself of that bizarre notion after several involvements...experienced a few short years of relative sanity...then lurched into the onset of my 3rd childhood, which is where you find me now.

The vicissitudes of Earthly incarnate existence! O tempora! O mores!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 06:55 PM

The truth of the matter is that Little Hawk, as he approaches his second childhood, is slowly losing his ability to differentiate between the universe of the real and the universe of the imagined. This is typically symptomatic of early=onset Gerund Disorder. In any case, he becomes upset if anyone corrects him by pointing out that Chongo is not a flesh and blood creature. BEst to just humor or ignore him on this issue. He seems to have held on to his usual level of near-competency on other topics except for political matters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 05:35 PM

Take no notice? I have to read SOME of the posts. If I took no notice of same, I woulden't be here most of the time.

Get a room.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 02:27 PM

Chongo and Amos have been slagging each other off for some time, both by asserting that the other has no place or significance in their world. It's like one of those Laurel and Hardy skits where they have a disagreement about something and they keep upping the ante with escalating reprisals of one sort or another. Take no notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 01:59 PM

"Chongo, the world in which you exist is one in which I do not wish to cast a shadow. I am content to sip real single-malt and talk to real people.

A"

Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 01:18 PM

LOL!!!

You have....got....to be kidding...........

Look, I'd rather do what my Dachshund would have done, given the same advice...

1. A brief, contemptuous glance at the advisor.

2. Trot over to the advisor's side.

3. Lift leg.

4. Pee on the advisor's trousers.

5. Walk away stiff-legged with tail erect and fur slightly ruffled on back of neck.

This is a Dachshund's way of saying, "Take off, ya hoser!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 01:05 PM

Well, if it isn't too late, you could start by identifying and owning all your sins, one at a time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 11:03 AM

Well, enquiring minds, I had to wait until remorse set in, you see? Remorse followed by contrition.

In any case, what sort of action would you have recommended?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 12:53 AM

Dear Galactic Overlord creator, remember what Mark Twain said:

3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others. But this detail has often been overlooked in the Deerslayer "Mother of All BS" tale.

4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there. But this detail also has been overlooked in the Deerslayer "Mother of All BS" tale.


Last time I looked, you/it were a corpse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Dec 12 - 11:08 PM

But then I realized that I was becoming hardhearted, detached, supercilious, dismissive...even, dare I say it...vain!

Enquiring minds are forced to wonder why you did not take action about it at the time.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Evil Galactic Overlord
Date: 04 Dec 12 - 09:32 PM

Accept no substitutes, food sources. I am the one and only EVIL Galactic Overlord. All others are fakes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 12 - 09:15 PM

Just back from the Legion Hovel, where they are trying to get the traditional 25' tall Christmas tree through the traditional 32" wide door into a room with a traditional 10' ceiling accompanied by the traditional cussing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 12 - 11:50 AM

I really hope that you two never meet. Think of the title of a Daniel-Day Lewis film from a few years back....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 12 - 10:21 AM

Trained by the best, dude, trained by the best. At least Chongo is working -- he used to be cadging drinks by walking on his hands when he was drunk, juggling a ball with his feet. It was "funnier'n hell when he tried that, with him fallin' over all the time and all," as one anonymous drinker told me.


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