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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 17 Jan 05 - 10:42 AM
Tweed 17 Jan 05 - 10:06 AM
Amos 17 Jan 05 - 09:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM
Amos 17 Jan 05 - 09:27 AM
Tweed 17 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM
Teresa 17 Jan 05 - 02:30 AM
Acme 17 Jan 05 - 01:56 AM
Teresa 16 Jan 05 - 11:44 PM
Acme 16 Jan 05 - 11:34 PM
Amos 16 Jan 05 - 12:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jan 05 - 08:35 PM
Acme 15 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM
freda underhill 15 Jan 05 - 05:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jan 05 - 05:52 PM
Acme 15 Jan 05 - 04:58 PM
Amos 15 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM
Acme 15 Jan 05 - 02:26 PM
khandu 15 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM
Amos 15 Jan 05 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,Sir Amos of California 15 Jan 05 - 09:37 AM
GUEST,Tweed 15 Jan 05 - 08:12 AM
Teresa 15 Jan 05 - 02:33 AM
Acme 15 Jan 05 - 01:18 AM
GUEST,MMario 14 Jan 05 - 01:56 PM
Amos 14 Jan 05 - 01:50 PM
Acme 14 Jan 05 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 14 Jan 05 - 11:26 AM
GUEST,MMario 14 Jan 05 - 11:07 AM
Acme 14 Jan 05 - 10:36 AM
GUEST 14 Jan 05 - 09:35 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 14 Jan 05 - 09:22 AM
GUEST 14 Jan 05 - 09:03 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 14 Jan 05 - 08:52 AM
GUEST,MMario 14 Jan 05 - 08:22 AM
Acme 14 Jan 05 - 01:05 AM
Acme 13 Jan 05 - 06:52 PM
Amos 13 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 05 - 06:16 PM
Teresa 13 Jan 05 - 05:07 PM
Teresa 13 Jan 05 - 04:57 PM
Teresa 13 Jan 05 - 04:53 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM
Amos 13 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM
Acme 13 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM
Teresa 13 Jan 05 - 03:35 PM
GUEST,MMario's identical twin cousin Stavros 13 Jan 05 - 03:32 PM
Acme 13 Jan 05 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 05 - 01:52 PM
Amos 13 Jan 05 - 12:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 10:42 AM

Don't you realize that means that every idiot is Tweed?

Yes. That's the whole point. It is so. It has ever been so. It will always be so.

Just consider these lyrics from none other than The Beatles:

I am Tweed as you are Tweed as they are Tweed and we are Tweed together...

Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.


Yes, that's the way the song, originally entitled "I am Tweed" went, but the Fab Four had to change it to "I am the Walrus" because walruses are a lot cuter than Tweed. And, anyway, "I am the Walrus" made a lot more sense than "I am Tweed".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 10:06 AM

Thank you Amos, my dear friend! It is never too late to change careers and already I am getting offers from Russia, Iran and China to head up their nuclear programs. It is amazing how far and wide MOAB is read, as PMs from these folks keep pouring in!
You may all sleep safely in yore beds at night, with the knowledge that I, Tweed, will be hard at work plastering cracks in cooling towers around the world. And we have Amos' codetalking to thank for it!!

Aslo, Happy Birthday to Beedubya-ell, who shares mine and Khandu's birthday either on the 14th or 15th obv January. I am thinking of taking him with me overseas as I habv a theory that straw-reinforced clay cooling towers will be much cheaper to build than steel-reinforced concrete ones. With my guidance and superior brain he will be able to utilize his pot-firing skills to great advancement and not have to sit in any more craft faers and suffer the pranks obv the mischievous faeries who frequent such affaers!!

TWeeD


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:53 AM

So -- you're saying that it is sufficient? You are defending your postulate that "since you made an idiot of yourself, you MUST be Tweed"???

Don't you realize that means that every idiot is Tweed?

Are you being fair to him, imposing on him such a huge burden of multiple personalities?? You are elevating him to the status of a sort of Clown God, obliged to support the identity of every idiot in life. Start counting, and I hope you know how to pray in Idiota.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM

Hah! Amos is wrong! Amos is wrong! Amos is wrong!

Yes, we've finally hit a topic about which our dear friend Amos, who has oft astounded us with his encyclopedic knowledge of damned-near-everything, hasn't a clue! Amos knows abolutely nothing about being an idiot because he's not one! His trying to apply the rules of logic to idiocy falls flat on its face. Idiocy cannot be syllogized! While it is certainly true that the syllogism "Tweed is an idiot - Bee-dubya is an idiot - therefore, Bee-dubya is Tweed" is a case of extremely faulty logic in the everyday world, it works just fine in the idiot world.

And, if you don't believe me, just consider this: Virtually every political decision made by the alleged president of the US over the last four years has been totally illogical. Yet, somehow, he got re-elected for another four years. Why? Because he's an idiot and the rules of logic don't apply to idiots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:27 AM

Geeze -- give a guy a little emphasis and he takes a yard!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

Amos wrote:
Logically, it may be Necessary to be an idiot to be Tweed, but that alone is not Sufficient.


Is this some sort of code? Why has he taken time to capitalize the L,N,T, and S? If we read only those words that have been so "marked", we come up with:

"Logically, necessary Tweed sufficient!"

This is Tarzan-speak obviously, as he has placed no verbs in his sentence, but he is still able to convey the real message that
should read:

"Logically, I find it necessary to announce to the world that Tweed's brain is far superior to most humans that I've been in contact with, and his reasoning powers are more than sufficient to implement safety programs at nuclear power plants or munitions facilities."

Which is what I've believed all along. I am sending out my resumes today. You are a man obv great vision Amos!!!

Tweed (whoisaslokhanduwhoistweed)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 02:30 AM

Are you sure SRS?

I mean, maybe tweed had an ulterior motive, and he abducted the faeries somehow to use their talents for his nefarious purposes. You just never know about that Tweed. :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 01:56 AM

Okay, but to get it right, Freda, the abductors would be fairies, and the abductee would be Tweed.

And as Scarlett might have said, "Tweedle-dee-dee."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 11:44 PM

The Faeries can do faster-than-light travel? I wanna go. :)

Tweed, how'd you do that?

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 11:34 PM

Mom! You've slipped! But I see you can still get up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 12:56 PM

Thou may still be Thyself, good BWL. Logically, it may be Necessary to be an idiot to be Tweed, but that alone is not Sufficient.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 08:35 PM

Well, turns out yesterday didn't vanish entirely. The spyware-induced connectivity problems that the 'Cat was having were either intermitent or only kept some computers from connecting 'cause there's lotsa posts dated 01/14/05. Since I wasn't able to get on at any time on that date, I assumed nobody had been able to. In other words, I made an idiot of myself again. And, since I am an idiot, I must be Tweed! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM

According to another thread going around today, yesterday vanished so he missed it. Oops. That can happen to anyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 05:59 PM

Maybe Tweed was abducted for a few hours, celebrated an intergalactic birthday, and returned, feeling slightly confused and with no memory of events..


and who would the abductees be?

the Faeries, of course!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 05:52 PM

Oh, fer God's sake! What day is Tweed's friggin' birthday? Last year it was on the 14th (or, at least this thread was begun by khandu on the 14th). This year it's on the 15th? Could it be that Tweedwhoisaslokhandu and khanduwhoisasloTweed simply don't friggin' know when their birthday is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 04:58 PM

Projectile BS? Ewwwwwww


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM

Pome on Bullshit

BS is far.
BS is wide.
BS is deep.
BS informs the world.
Everwhere I look, BS is, both far, and wide.
BS is deep upon the land in every place,
Unless,
Horror of all horrors,
Shame of all shames,
It is in the very eye of the beholder!!
Dear Gawd,
Tell me I am not projecting!


A

(No copyright needed or asked for or offered)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:26 PM

Now that flu shots are available to a wider customer base, I can go on Wednesday to one of the community clinics. But with my youthful appearance, I will have to take along my birth certificate and my driver's license to convince them that I am truly, if only barely, old enough to now receive a flu shot.

:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

I have never got to see the Chief's Headdress or been to the Waffle House yet, but I must tell you all that if this day had never existed,

...if somehow January 15th had been eliminated from the calender you would not have the pleasure of my company in MOAB. Because, yes,....


today is...


khandu'S BIRTHDAY!!!






What is more, I have reversed the aging process completely and find that I am actually growing younger each hour!! I attribute this to two imported Guinness' and a glass of supermarket V8 daily along with as many High-steppin' ladies as I can possibly manage to **** while awake. My wife took one look at me and tore up our licence saying all she thought was wrong! HAW, HAW, HAW!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 11:58 AM

Rise up, rise up, oh, Mother, dear
Rise up to the top of the list
For it is not meet that one so dear
Should fall off the bottom like this, like this
Should fall off the bottom like this.

Rise up, rise up, oh, Mother dear
Rise up to the top of the heap.
For we'll ne'er let it be said
While e'er we have breath
That mother on the floor did sleep, did sleep
That mother on the floor did sleep.

So she rose up, and she rose high
Straight to the list's first place
And all the world
Saw the MOAB anew
With the sun upon her face, her face
With the sun upon her face.


Songs from the Greenwood-O:A Compendium of 12-Century Minstrelsy
Gervase Longtwig, Ed., Motheaten Press, Intercourse, 1932


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sir Amos of California
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 09:37 AM

Good Tweed, how little trust for your mother to believe she would not have met and overcome such a minor hurdle as a lost birthday day!! She may have had to jump over several missing days as it is, and not bothered to mention it to you!! Missing days are like that.

Dear Teresa, what a bold adventure. I wish there was someway we could get you a driver's license, dammit. I am glad at least you got out for the evening.

Dear SRS, blessings on Fort Worth!! And all who live there.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 08:12 AM

I have never got to see the Chieftains or been to the BigHouse yet, but I must tell you all that if this day had never existed,

...if somehow January 15th had been eliminated from the calender you would not have the pleasure of my company in MOAB. Because, yes,....


today is...


TWEED'S BIRTHDAY!!!



What is more, I have reversed the aging process completely and find that I am actually growing younger each hour!! I attribute this to two imported draft beers and a glass of supermarket cabernet daily along with as many Newport lights as I can possibly manage to smoke while awake. My doctor took one look at me and tore up his licence saying all he'd learned was wrong! HAW, HAW, HAW!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:33 AM

I'm glad I got to see the Chieftains in Berkeley when I lived there. I saw them fifteen years ago, and it was $40 even then.

Ah, I got an evening pass out of prison, and went to a science-fiction event. We watched the pilot for "Battlestar Galactica". The bus trip to the cafe was adventurous (took me an hour and a half). The cafe had satellite programming and we watched it on the "Sci-fi" channel.    'twasn't my cup of tea, but being with friends was nice. :) I'd been in the house too long. :D

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:18 AM

It's quiet now that Rapaire has headed down to ancient Lake Bonneville and it's tiny remnant, the Great Salt Lake. I looked up the Chieftains--they're coming to Fort Worth also (on 1/24)--sounds like he got a good price on the tickets. The good tickets here go for $100 a pop. The cheap seats are around $40 each.

SRS (just keeping things moving on a quiet Friday night)

hic! It is Friday night, after all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:56 PM

I suspect he may be a closet associative.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:50 PM

Rapaire:

Married people in prviate also constitute an intersecting set, but why should sets stop there? You some kinda commutative pinko?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:36 AM

Never mind. --Emily Litella


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:26 AM

Sets, sets, sets -- is that all you people can think of? I'm sick and tired of the glorification of sets in this so-called "culture"! Sets is a wonderful think that should be done by married people in private. There is too much pre-marital sets these days. Equations are created out of wedlock. Kids are out of control because of the sets-obsessed media. What ever happened to morals and values and the American Family?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:07 AM

and marbles mix well with hula hoops too! In fact - get the right sizes of both and the marble an go INTO the hula hoops - known mathematicaly as an intersection of sets*






*sounds dirty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 10:36 AM

Tweed (At full cone)

Whew, I guess so! And one cheerleader short of a squad, too! Everyone knows that mixing marbles and pompoms is like oil and water. Can't be done.

It should be pompoms and those styrofoam peanut packing things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 09:35 AM

Everyone is obsessed with this algebra nonsense! It is a highly overrated urban myth and should be discarded in favor of almatra. I am much more at ease figuring out problems using only yarn, marbles and pompoms. It is so simple!!

Fundamentals of Al'Mat


Al'Mat consists of sets of marbles and sets of pompoms. There are various rules called operations that govern Al'Mat. An operation is closed if the resulting sets are the same type of item the starting sets. An identity for an operation is that set which has no effect on the starting set under that operation.

The empty set, represented by an empty yarn circle, contains neither marbles nor pompoms. The empty set is neither marble nor pompom!!!


HAW!! You see?? Does anyone else see the perfect simplicity and zen-ness in this system?? "It is neither marble nor pompom!!"

Tweed (At full cone)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 09:22 AM

Geez, it's Friday!

Beginning tomorrow I will be Away until next Thursday or so, attending the Chieftains concert and generally raising hell in Salt Lake City and then traveling on to Boise to a meeting and to raise hell amidst the State Legislature and other alien types. I will take my slide rule (a 10 inch log-log decitrig from K&E, no less!) with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 09:03 AM

See?

Most peple don't even think the thought "spate of matrix algebra" EXISTS...and this guy, working for the Octonions, does it every night, or wont.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 08:52 AM

What? Why am I here as a Guest? What's happened? I was sitting in my office here at home, doing a spate of matrix algebra as is my wont of an evening, when I "came all funny" as my grandma used to say. My potato chips are cold, my coffee is warm and I feel like I was possessed by an alien intelligence or something.

I'd go to bed except that I have to go to work. Geez, it's Wednesday already!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 08:22 AM

Good Friday! it's morning here in mudcat land - Do you know where *your* BS is?

Right Here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:05 AM

And the wall I didn't mend. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 06:52 PM

Sorry, I wouldn't know. That's the road I didn't travel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM

Rapaire is guilty of multi-tiered treachery. You see, on the surface he is a staunch American, lover of books, guns, BS, long fuzzy words and long, sloppy kisses on a summer night. But if you look deeper, while a librarian would seek to help understanding with appropriate guidance and clarifications, you will notice that Rapaire has just answered one obfuscation of his with yet another, piled higher and deeper. When he says he is working on his PHD., this is the kind of PhD he means -- piled higher and deeper, reducing uynderstanding to a state of numbed and reeling misinformation.

But that is not all!! This treacherous inner layer of deceptions would not make any sense, unless one took the final piece of the puzzle into account and realized, since he is not who he SEEMS to be, who he must actually be working for.

I'll tekll you who he is working for -- he is working for the most degenerate, non-associative, counter-Bottian, non-Lorenzian alien, anti-democratic and anti-Christian numeric entities ever seen on planet earth.

Rapaire is working for the OCTONIONS!! Those eight-eyed, multi-skinned, acrid-smelling non-associative aliens!! The ones that assault little kids with their liver dinners and ruin perfectly good hamburgers. THOSE octonions.

This is ugly, deep and dark.

But, I have promises to park,

And miles to go before I snark.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 06:16 PM

Have you ever heard Tom Lehrer's song "Lobachevsky"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 05:07 PM

Is that the same person who sang: "Math Is Just A Four-letter Word"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 04:57 PM

Maybe we'd better whisper about the Jordan Algebras; someone might think they're terrorists.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 04:53 PM

Ok, oh well, so much for my illusion of being "on the outside".

Yes, thanks to the Internet, which Asscraft ... er, (sp?) has so far not succeeded in limiting (too much) I do read Ursula LeGuin. She's one of my favorites, as a matter of fact; I think I may have made a small reference to her in this or maybe the "Somebody has to be last" thread. I may have read a few of Octavia Butler's stories, but that's another idea for my reading list. :)

Oh, how I love to tease LH about Shatner and that scottish poet (not Rabbie; the other one). ;);)

I should be sending my book list to Asscraft before he bans them all. Oh, woe is me. Hurry up, Internet; increase your electronic offerings, before I perish from lack of brain-food.

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM

Perhaps this will help. Please note that it's written by Joan Baez' alter (and secret) identity.

Author: John C. Baez
Comments: 56 pages LaTeX, 11 Postscript Figures, some small corrections
Subj-class: Rings and Algebras; Representation Theory; Quantum Algebra; History and Overview

    The octonions are the largest of the four normed division algebras. While somewhat neglected due to their nonassociativity, they stand at the crossroads of many interesting fields of mathematics. Here we describe them and their relation to Clifford algebras and spinors, Bott periodicity, projective and Lorentzian geometry, Jordan algebras, and the exceptional Lie groups. We also touch upon their applications in quantum logic, special relativity and supersymmetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM

After what Ashcroft did to Teresa I think the entire Mudcat ahould offer her shelter and succour.

Stavros the reason I don't explain the interacting gravitons thing is that I don't understand it well enough to do so. My question (Do you know what this means....) was literal, because I dodn't know.

I don't think Rapaire knows either, even though he answered "Yes". I think that was the most pretentious monosyllable ever uttered.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM

Uh Oh.

Did you see that? She likes Star Trek. Little Hawk is gonna have the Shat-man over here in a flash testing Teresa's literary Star Trek credentials.

(Teresa, do you read Ursula LeGuin and Octavia Butler?)

Please do consider crafting the story of imprisonment based on trumped up Mudcat Charges. Please include Ashcroft as a major character. It could really rev up the imagination of all of these librarians and philosophers, trying to librate you. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 03:35 PM

I reads what I wants to, wherever I are. :) Usually that's at home. I do have headphones.

I was going to make up a story about being in prison, but ... heck wid it.

The subject matter is heavy already. :)

Indeed, I use a screen-reader to convert text to speech, and also use a Braille display that shows 40 characters at a time.

2001: one of the few media things I like (I mostly do literary SF) The other is Star Trek, except Enterprise.

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario's identical twin cousin Stavros
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 03:32 PM

Amos - I got lost somewhere around

"publication date"

Why don't you tell us the signifigance of interacting gravitons?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 03:25 PM

I don't know about all of these gravitons, I'm waiting to hear back from Teresa. Do you think between us we can come up with her bail?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 01:52 PM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 12:30 PM

supersymmetrization is immediate and leads to consistent conformal supergravities with M interacting gravitons.



My GAWD man!!! Do you realize what this MEANS!!!!???????

...


...


...


Well?





A


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