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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 18 Jan 11 - 05:57 PM
Acme 18 Jan 11 - 05:23 PM
Amos 18 Jan 11 - 05:02 PM
Eiseley 18 Jan 11 - 04:41 PM
gnu 18 Jan 11 - 03:42 PM
Amos 18 Jan 11 - 03:38 PM
Amos 18 Jan 11 - 03:10 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jan 11 - 02:53 PM
Acme 18 Jan 11 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jan 11 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 18 Jan 11 - 01:35 PM
Amos 18 Jan 11 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 18 Jan 11 - 09:15 AM
Amos 17 Jan 11 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 11 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 11 - 09:18 PM
Amos 17 Jan 11 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 11 - 06:44 PM
Amos 17 Jan 11 - 01:35 PM
Acme 17 Jan 11 - 01:02 PM
Amos 17 Jan 11 - 12:34 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jan 11 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 11 - 10:30 AM
Amos 17 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM
Acme 17 Jan 11 - 02:05 AM
Little Hawk 16 Jan 11 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 11 - 11:12 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jan 11 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM
Amos 16 Jan 11 - 09:53 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jan 11 - 09:38 PM
Amos 16 Jan 11 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 16 Jan 11 - 11:07 AM
Little Hawk 16 Jan 11 - 12:30 AM
Amos 15 Jan 11 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 11 - 11:03 PM
gnu 15 Jan 11 - 08:37 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jan 11 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 11 - 06:00 PM
Amos 15 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM
Acme 15 Jan 11 - 04:19 PM
Amos 15 Jan 11 - 03:46 PM
Acme 15 Jan 11 - 03:23 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 15 Jan 11 - 03:05 PM
Amos 15 Jan 11 - 02:57 PM
Eiseley 15 Jan 11 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 11 - 12:12 PM
Eiseley 15 Jan 11 - 11:58 AM
Eiseley 15 Jan 11 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 15 Jan 11 - 11:02 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 05:57 PM

That is indeed a conundrum, Amos. What do you think we should do to help our omnipotent friend Rapparee out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 05:23 PM

Great story, Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 05:02 PM

A Clean Shelves Campaign is a good idea for any library, once every ten years or so. But this is not the best way to get it to happen...

That's MY humble opinion!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 04:41 PM

Wow, look at this idea! (It seemed to go along with the "furniture" discussion).

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 03:42 PM

And a tad constipated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 03:38 PM

Little Hawk:

While I hold you in high esteem, which I am sure you know, I think you know perfectly well that you are the source of your own happiness. Rapparee, contrariwise, believes he is the source of everyone else, but that they are the source of his happiness. It is complicated, isn't it????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 03:10 PM

Tell the table I said, "Break a leg".....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 02:53 PM

If it doesn't, it should. Naked tables are considered improper in Twillingsgate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 02:22 PM

Does the table have any drawers?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 01:51 PM

How about anything to make me happy for a change, Amos? Eh? Eh???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 01:35 PM

Anything??? Anything at all???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 10:45 AM

Oh, so sorry. Change it to "Drink some Moose Drool, fool!"

Anything to make you happy...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 09:15 AM

You got the line

Bring in a stud, Bud

wrong. It should be the other way around, and plural. I work better when under the influence. Not very well at all, but better. And I'd prefer Moose Drool or Alaska Amber or Dead Guy or Bitch Creek or Troutslayer.

Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 11:37 PM

You just break out the glue, Drew
Bring in a stud, Bud
Put on a clamp, Champ
Jes' lissen to me.
Just scarf in a leg, Meg
Glue some veneer, dear!
Glue in a dowel, Raoul!
You'll set yourself free.
Just tap in a brad, Dad
Add some glue from a horse, Morse!
Just drill in a screw, Moo,
And let it all be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:18 PM

I really would like to get this fixed, as it's holding a Waterford lamp!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:18 PM

What? A late-19th century lamp table? I suppose you could make something out of it ("Get up off the table, Mabel" or something) but the top is only about 18 x 18 inches. The legs are coming unglued from the lower support, that's all. I re-glue them, check the rest out, and Bob's your uncle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 07:26 PM

IS this going to bring on yet another onslaught of heavy-handed double entendres? Do I need to say that twice?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 06:44 PM

Okay, it's finished and in place. Now I can start re-working a lamp table I re-worked about 20 years ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 01:35 PM

I wish you'd stop making me bite my tongue, Maggie...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 01:02 PM

I, too, have a dresser to work on. But I wouldn't consider pulling the drawers down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 12:34 PM

A man of sour soul and blood,
A man renowned for sowing FUD
In every place he steers his gaze
A cloud of FUD there soon does raise.
Confusion, doubt, fog, smoke and mud
Are stock in trade to Old Man Fud;
And clarity, his mortal foe,
Is never seen where the FUD-man goes.
Where innocence is, or certainty
His eye wreaks insecurity
And doubt to chill the bravest blood.
Thus is the life of Mister FUD.
A heavy man, and no man's brudder
Bold Raparee, the Master Fudder!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 12:09 PM

Wait! I know. You move the dresser up onto the 2nd floor. You cut a hole in the floor. You tip the dresser on its face over the hole. You go back down to the first floor. You get a stepladder. You stand on it under the hole and pull the drawers down! And then???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 10:30 AM

Good morning, all. Today is the day I end it all. Redoing the dresser thingie, I mean. My work there is done; I have sown FUD where there was none before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM

I thought that was the blatt of the fail-siren. "Thank you for participating...".



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 02:05 AM

Ka-ching of the off-stage cymbals echoes through the thread. What a set up and delivery that was!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 11:23 PM

Wouldn't that require tipping the chest of drawers over on its side?

No wait...then the floor would get in the way, wouldn't it? Oh dear. I am so confused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 11:12 PM

No, but you have to pull down your drawers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 10:44 PM

Do you have to clamber inside one of the drawers to use it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM

I'VE been rebuilding a chest of drawers, which includes a little chamber for a chamber pot. Nothing fancy, just re-gluing, a few small nail-ups, things like that. Just time consuming. Barely leaves time for my afternoon nap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:53 PM

Trying your black humor out on Mom again, Hawk? ;>)

Anyway...if any one gets a chance to see a Japanese movie called "Departures", don't miss it.


Also read a trilogy of tropical murder mysteries called Bangkok ___. The first one is called Bangkok 8.

Awesome writing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:38 PM

You have to say there was trouble brewin'...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 12:43 PM

The notion of a Gnu trying to seduce a Large Grizzly is unbearable, inconceivable, and impregnable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 11:07 AM

He'd be more disturbed if he was making love to a large grizzly when someone opened the door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 12:30 AM

gnu - You would be disturbed if you were making love to someone, and a large grizzly bear opened the door. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:05 PM

Some people just use a patent medicine. Raparree insists on a meta-fissick when things are not moving properly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:03 PM

No. I'm the Moving Stasis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 08:37 PM

"scat"? Twas left on my back door landing when I disturbed two fucking doves today. Odd that they would choose such a place for such behaviour but there it is.

There it is. Love turns to shit in a wing flap.

Not poetic. Just real


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 08:21 PM

Are you the Unmoved Mover?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 06:00 PM

Yet you claim your divinity is heaven-sent

No, I created heaven. My "divinity" is the result of my being the Uncaused Cause (vide Thomas Aquinas, et al.).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM

Aw thank you!!

In other news:

"Scat-sniffing dogs are becoming increasingly popular among scientists as assistants that can gather data about a wildlife area.

The dogs can be trained to sniff out the scat of other animals and to help researchers estimate population statistics. " (NYT)

This may be an important part of Mom's future, if you believe BS is a form of scat.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 04:19 PM

Stunning, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 03:46 PM

You are old, Raparee, and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you posted a claim on the MOAB last week
You were God; pray tell what it was drove you to it?

In my youth, said the Bookman, I practiced collusion
And conspired to rise in the ranks;
And the practice this gave me in asserting delusion
Has made me as tough as a tank!

You are old, Raparee, and your hair has gone gray,
At least what there still is left of it!
How do you explain the remarkable way
That you holler of life, "I jes' LUBBIT!"?

In my young years, he said, I stayed sober and pale
And spent all my spare time on books!
But now I've retired, I find I have time
To take care of my wonderful looks!

You are old, Rapparee, and your mind has grown bent
And you often assert things unreal!
Yet you claim your divinity is heaven-sent
Not caring how others may feel?

Pish, tush! cried the Bookman, I say what I please!
ANd I let the chips fall where they fall!
Now leave or I'll quickly chop off both your knees
And offer your ashes to Baal!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 03:23 PM

Time to plant the potatoes, MOM! And onions!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 03:05 PM

Argo FLIP yerself!

Har! Har!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 02:57 PM

Argo who?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 12:19 PM

This would be Tom's reply to your question:

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Gope . . . "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 12:12 PM

I learn by going where I have to go.

Shouldn't that be "when" and not "where"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:58 AM

39217 Prime!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:58 AM

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.


Theodore Roethke


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:02 AM

Amos, one of these days I may become slightly miffed with you and would have to give you a Cosmic "Tsk, tsk."


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