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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,James T. Kirk 13 Apr 04 - 12:02 AM
Acme 13 Apr 04 - 12:52 AM
Little Hawk 13 Apr 04 - 01:13 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Apr 04 - 03:30 AM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 09:05 AM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 09:34 AM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 02:06 PM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 03:47 PM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 13 Apr 04 - 04:12 PM
GUEST,MMario 13 Apr 04 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 05:23 PM
Amos 13 Apr 04 - 06:57 PM
Acme 13 Apr 04 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 04 - 10:25 PM
CarolC 13 Apr 04 - 10:42 PM
CarolC 13 Apr 04 - 10:44 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 12:29 AM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 12:12 PM
GUEST,MMario 14 Apr 04 - 12:26 PM
CarolC 14 Apr 04 - 12:45 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 12:47 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 01:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 01:57 PM
GUEST 14 Apr 04 - 02:11 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 03:24 PM
GUEST,MMario 14 Apr 04 - 03:28 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 04 - 03:40 PM
GUEST,MMario 14 Apr 04 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 03:52 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 04 - 04:55 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 04 - 06:27 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 07:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 08:04 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,The Other Guy 14 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM
CarolC 14 Apr 04 - 09:39 PM
Amos 14 Apr 04 - 09:46 PM
GUEST, Bubba Bubba 14 Apr 04 - 10:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,James T. Kirk
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 12:02 AM

AS WE BOLDLY GO WHERE NO THREAD HAS GONE BEFORE!!!!

(2601)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 12:52 AM

Beam him down, Scotty. Don't worry if he lodges in a bulkhead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 01:13 AM

It would necessarily have to be a fairly thick bulkhead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 03:30 AM

Big Momma MOAB
the suckling of the boob.
Have the children become
a creative mood?
To justify a cause
all in the great Shatner's name.
Makes a vintage clause,
that suckling is the game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 08:51 AM

"No, I am sorry -- even if your wife is pregnant I still don't have a room. Sorry, no. Well....I suppose I could let you lodge in a bulkhead. Yes, that's be all right....and those friggin' wise guys you brought with you, too..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 09:05 AM

As Jimmy Juice, the weird novelist wrote in his whaling classic Finny Guns Awake, "Big Momma Moab of the southern clans freed Men's minds to live in the broadest way imaginable, but way, way, too far back for Benson and Hedges, before Juicy and the Judges had given us hit numbers or Elvis had commited to Colonel Tom."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 09:30 AM

April 2002: This guy???

The Federal Bureau of Investigation today placed James Spencer Springette on its "Ten Most Wanted Fugitives" list. Springette was charged in the Southern District of Georgia in October of 1998 for conspiracy to import cocaine hydrochloride and cocaine base, conspiracy to distribute cocaine, and conspiracy to launder monetary instruments. He should be considered armed and dangerous and an escape risk.


James Spencer Springette has allegedly been the leader of a large Caribbean-based drug-smuggling organization since 1991. He is thought to be responsible for the importation of large amounts of cocaine from Colombia which are reportedly airdropped into the Caribbean, divided into smaller quantities, and transported by couriers to Atlanta, Georgia, and other cities in the United States. He is also wanted for acts of violence including the attempted murder of
a police officer in the British Virgin Islands.


On January 30, 1999, Springette was located and arrested in Medellin, Colombia. While waiting extradition, he escaped from La Picota maximum security prison in Bogota, Colombia, on March 1, 2000 and remains a fugitive.


James Spencer Springette is described as a 5'11", 240 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes. He was born in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, on
August 18, 1960. Springette has ties to the U.S. and British Virgin Islands, other islands in the Caribbean, Venezuela, Panama, Colombia, France, and The United Kingdom. He also has ties to the Southeast region of the United States, specifically the Augusta/Atlanta, Georgia; Norfolk, Virginia; and Miami, Florida areas. Springette speaks both English and Spanish and is known to have facial hair.


Springette uses the following aliases: Elmo Brady, Elmo Brandy, Kyle Pierce,
Elmo Spencer, Kent Worwell, Kent Worrel, Shawn Pickering, Brian Miller, Jimmy Springette, Jimi Springette, James Spencer, Spencer Springer, Efram Zoran Johnson, Everson Weberson, Spencer Springette, "Jimmy," "Juice," "Seagal," "Jimmy the Juice," and "Uncle."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 09:34 AM

No. It was somebody else. Maybe the guy who wrote under the pen names of Edith Wharton and Bessie May Furquart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 10:15 AM

Vell, Rapire. perhapps you are obschessing on der natcher off juices, ya? Undt how do you feel von der Chelly Roll?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM

Nein, nein, not der chelly roll. Vait, nein, Chelly Roll Morton, dat's different!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM

Ach, mein schotz, I haff not had der onner off meetink Misch Morton, budt ve mussdt dishcuss dis fixation mit der juices, ya?

Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 02:06 PM

Ja, ja, Liebenscheiss, I vill debate der juice mit you. As Schiller says, "Mit der Dummheit kampfen Gotter selbst vergebens."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 03:37 PM

The Gods are not vain, Rapaire -- at least, not the true ones...and I don't think they wrestle, actually.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 03:47 PM

You've never been invited to dinner in Valhalla, have you? And as for vanity, well, you obviously haven't met Freya. Or Baldur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 03:54 PM

Often invited, but never accepted, thanks. I can't afford to make the other Gods jealous...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 04:12 PM

You two should go to San Francisco and get married... :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 04:16 PM

Many of the Norse gods wrestled, didn't they? Thor, Loki


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 05:23 PM

Those who wrestled Odin ended up might Thor indeed. All the gods and goddesses would gather 'round and wish the contestants "Good Loki!" 'cause it would be a Freya match with no holds barred. Why, you could gouge eyes and even pull hair until your opponent was Baldur than anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 06:57 PM

As my first girlfriend in high school told me after Prom Night, "You're Thor?? I can hardly thtand up!!!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 10:05 PM

groan. . . that is so bad, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 10:25 PM

I do hope that she didn't make it Thor for you, Amos. Back then it could take a long time to cure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 10:42 PM

With magic crayons, everybody can be Superman


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 10:44 PM

Write?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:29 AM

Right on, ladies, write on!

Sigh...I jus' loves MOABbers!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:12 PM

This thread is devolving into the most egregious exercise in solipsism that I have ever seen...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:26 PM

solipsism ? I think we have a great amount of real, vital communication going here. solipsism indeed! Hmmmph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:45 PM

This thread is devolving into the most egregious exercise in solipsism that I have ever seen...

You make it sound like that's a bad thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:47 PM

Hmmm...yes, I see what you mean. I'm gonna have to rethink that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 01:27 PM

The big question is not that it is evolving into a solipsistic exercise, I would submit, but WHOSE solipsism is involved. Someone's gotta take the blame for all this BS!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 01:57 PM

Only three weeks 'til Mom's birthday!

YIPPEEEEE!!!!!

Perhaps it's time we gave some serious though to rescuing khandu from his tormentors on Toledo.

On second thought, screw it! Khandu ain't worth goin' to Toledo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 02:11 PM

I have a great imagination! I astound myself. sometimes I just have to give myself a pat on the back in congratulations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:24 PM

Actually, it's Shatner. He created all of this. We are merely acting out bit parts in William's dream.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:28 PM

oh god - THAT last posting is gonna give me nightmares for WEEKS, LH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:28 PM

Dear god, what an insufferable thought, Little Hawk; this is the sort of self-indulgent delusory hallucination that gives even the MOAB a bad reputation!! Snap out of it, man!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:40 PM

But...I told all of you long ago that I created you and Billy-Bob Shatner. Me. Personally. Without me you wouldn't exist. Without me, this Universe wouldn't exist. Without me to think me up, I wouldn't exist. Even when I go away, I'm always here.

Yes, you're welcome -- you needn't thank me for your pitiful existences.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:46 PM

THAT premise I can live with. But Shatner as the One Consciousness. No. Never.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 03:52 PM

Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:49 PM

Rapaire:

If you really are the secret source behind all the mechanisms of my existence there are a few management issues you and I need to discuss. For one thing, the ration of energy out to energy in from the environment in the form of revenue is entirely unsatisfactory. In Solipsists' Handbook and Guidelines, Third Edition, second chapter, it clearly says that exertion should approach zero while reward approaches infinity. You seem to have been asleep the day this material was covered and subsequently gotten these two values inverted. Please see this gets corrected. Also, my quanta of sheer inexplicable good luck seems to have dininshed since I turned fifty, and this seems injust and inapprorpiate to me. Please correct this.

Thanks very much,

Your respectful creation,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:55 PM

Amos, corrections to those typos are made in the fourth (and very latest) edition of the Handbook. In the first, the ratios were switched. In the second, well, you lucked out, 'cause the good luck was supposed to start running out at 35.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM

Don't you mean "unjust and unappropriate", Amos or did I disunderstand you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM

Nice try Rapaire-man, but there is no way those ratios are gonna work that way -- you 'll end up with a thankless, grinding, hopeless, soulless universe full of dismal, mindless, uninspired and unmotivated beings, draining their lives out in unimaginative toil, mere survival their sole reward -- how gruesome is that??

So don't pull those "Parameter Patsy" tapdances on me, bro'. Get the damn wires uncrossed or this universe is gonna blow sky-high, right in your little god-like face, ya unnerstan'??

Your humble and obedient creation,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 06:27 PM

The wires were never crossed, Amos. Sorry, I really, really hate to break this news to you because I am a caring and just Creator and I have tried to hide the truth from you to spare you. But here it is:

When I was creating you, I'd already created Little Hawk. He was running on about Bill Shatner (who is a construct, not a real person like you and Little Hawk are). Anyway, he was yammering on about Shatner this and Shatner that, how Shatner was the greatest singer EVER, and it sorta distracted me. The bottom line is: you're a flawed creation and LH is at fault. The flaws are so grievous, so deeply imbedded, that to correct them would cancel your existence. If you wish, I'll do so, but then you'll go "phhhpppttt!" and softly and silently vanish away (you're part Boojum, by the way).

Your choice: It's this existence or non-existence.

Oh, yeah, I was able to correct that flaw about recognizing good singing in the Little Hawk module. It wasn't integral to that unit's existence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 07:20 PM

Thanks, Rapaire for responding so promptly to my little experiment. I accept your consolation -- go ahead, straighten out the false values. I am willing to die for my ideals. Because, really,. it was all just a big test, like throwing out a honking big lead- line with the giant plug of lead tied off the end overboard, and stuck in the socket at the bottom o' that hunk of lead, a big ole chunk of wax. You throw the lead, with the wax stuck in, over the side, just for one reason, you see. You want to know if there is any bottom. And you hope maybe if you find a bottom, the wax will bring a trace up to tell you what is down there.

Like that. I am sorry to report there is no bottom. The delusion here is bottomless. Of course all the best delusions look that way, but I had some hope for you. This means no way to find shore, no way to anchor your barque, no way to know that the deepest and blackest part is behind you.

No, it is I who am sorry. But, please fix things up right for your next illusion.

As for correcting that flawe in LH, I would like to believe you, I really would.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:04 PM

I have come to the inescapable conclusion that there are, in reality, only two people who contribute to this thread: Me and The Other Guy.

Consider this: The only poster whose existence I can empirically verify is me. I know that I am making this post. However, regardless of whose name appears on any other post, I can never be absolutely certain that it has been made by that person. It could have been made by an impostor.

So, if it is even remotely possible that any post was made by an impostor, then it is also possible that all posts made by anyone other than me have been made by impostors. So, if they're all being made by impostors, why is it necessary to have multiple impostors? It could just as easily be a single person doing all that impostoring. That means that Amos, Rapaire, khandu, Rustic Rebel, Tweed, Carol the Sailor, Little Hawk, et al are really all one person! One very sick, demented, insomniac person with a remarkably acute case of dissociative hysteria, but one person just the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:22 PM

Knee deep in the Big MOAB
And the damn fools jes' keep on...



Gotta admire 'em for peersuveerunce, huh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Other Guy
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM

Damn! Busted!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 09:39 PM

Jack the Sailor says I'm not any of those other people, and I believe him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 09:46 PM

I too assure you that at least, Carol, you are not this one. I make it a hard and fast rule never to be another man's spouse. Not my style, if you take my meaning. BWL is just flapping his brain cell. :>)



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Bubba Bubba
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 10:09 PM

Bee-Dubya, honey? I'm real, and I'm already in southeastern Oregon. I've got the Labrador with me, too, a real big ol' black guy, just what we need. And Bee-Dubya, I've got a really big ol' surprise for you, too! Something I've been learning just for you, and I'll bet you'll never ever guess what it is I've went and learned to do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM

Lemme guess, Bubba-Bubba. You went an' learned how to drive a stick-shift? Change a flat tire? Tie a Windsor knot? Chew gum? Play Monopoly? Use an ATM machine? Speak Swahili? Play a French horn?   

Aw, hell! I give up!


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