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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 17 Oct 08 - 09:00 AM
Little Hawk 17 Oct 08 - 12:04 AM
Amos 16 Oct 08 - 11:49 PM
Acme 16 Oct 08 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 16 Oct 08 - 10:33 PM
Amos 16 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM
MMario 16 Oct 08 - 02:01 PM
Rapparee 16 Oct 08 - 01:48 PM
Amos 16 Oct 08 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 16 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 16 Oct 08 - 10:16 AM
MMario 16 Oct 08 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 16 Oct 08 - 09:13 AM
Amos 16 Oct 08 - 01:17 AM
Janie 16 Oct 08 - 12:54 AM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 11:38 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 11:22 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM
Acme 15 Oct 08 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 10:18 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 08:49 PM
Donuel 15 Oct 08 - 06:14 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 04:08 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 01:46 PM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 01:04 PM
Amos 15 Oct 08 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM
Little Hawk 15 Oct 08 - 12:39 AM
Acme 15 Oct 08 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 10:59 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 06:59 PM
Little Hawk 14 Oct 08 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 05:49 PM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM
Amos 14 Oct 08 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Amos 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Acme 13 Oct 08 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 08 - 09:05 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 09:00 AM

You can't do that.

Sorry.

You can slap his face alright, but then you must turn and leave. Your Second would handle the matters of date, time, place, and whatever other matters need to be discussed with his Second. If you fight by the US Code Duello the choice of weapons lies with the challenged, not the challenger; in the European (including the Irish) the challenger has the choice (usually, but not alway, and don't count on the Irish as an example).

All of this would be done only after the challenged sends a note (24 hours after the event) asking for either an apology or explanation. Every chance is taken to prevent a duel "in hot blood," since that would be murder.

The last time I duelled Amos we used pistols: I fired him and he at me. Since only one fire had been agreed upon we then shook hands (difficult, as I was in Pocatello and he was in San Diego) and parted friends until the next time.

Please, act like a gentleman. I suggest that you study some of the Canadian duels for a start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 12:04 AM

You are such a slimeball, Amos. One day I will come out to California just so I can slap you across the face with my patent leather glove and watch you cringe and grovel in terror as I propose sabers...or pistols...at dawn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 11:49 PM

The dramatization of souls known as "Imaginary Playmates" has been taken to a new high by LH, who is now publicly committed to pursuing a woman who would shoot his nuts off if he so much as smiled at her. Fortunately he can manage the deal by proxy, since he has a perfectly workable imaginary Sarah to talk to and I believe Spaw is getting him a custom-made blow-up doll all the way from Wasila Plastics Productions, just for those tenderer moments.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 10:50 PM

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

beside the white
chickens ducks.



Hmmmm. I don't think so. Just doesn't work.

Say, I just torqued up Little Hawk's new Hillary thread a little. Let's see if he can really throw aside his past beloved women for the "impudent but promising wine picked before it's time," according to Maureen Dowd. (She also said Ms. Sarah could be an embarrassment who should fade away). But I threw Winona back in his face.

Big time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 10:33 PM

Amos, you compared the plight of the spider in "Itsy-bitsy spider" to that of Sisyphus and did a damned fine job of working in Camus' philosophy and differentiating it from that of Sartre, which you compared to "Little White Duck."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM

Well, sure, Rapaire, I must have said those things if you say so. So, here, to make it up to you, here's a glass of warm milk and a blue blankie, and a nice safe place to take a nap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 02:01 PM

Don't go knocking "Little White Duck", now. That song is a treasured classic.

Itsy bistsy spider sold out to the establishment though when Hasbro included it in one of their playschools.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 01:48 PM

But you told me it was! You said, "You know, 'Itsy-bitsy Spider' and 'Little White Duck' are my all-time favorite songs. I really thing they express all the emotion music is capable of."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 01:43 PM

Well, it's not, but, hey, you are the Ultimate Narcissist, so I guess you can make any thing real.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM

Thank you. And I won't hold it against you that your favorite song is "Itsy-bitsy Spider".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 10:16 AM

Well, after all...those cops were both burly AND manly. And they were so white...pale, like the belly of a trout glistening in the moonlight. It's downright irresistible, I am sure. I am not going to hold this against Rapaire. Ever.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 09:48 AM

Rumour has it Rapaire enjoyed the whole incident so much he plans on singing that song on street corners all over Pocatello on a regular basis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 09:13 AM

Yeah, like I was singing it the other day and got arrested. Cops thought it was some sort of "cop killah" rap song and they ran me in for it. A bunch of 'em beat me senseless, Tasered me, kicked my prostrate body, stomped on me, and sprayed me with pepper spray all over. As they threw me out the door one of them said, "Sing that again and we'll give you another lickin', punk-o!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 01:17 AM

Fo' shoah! I sang it by heart in the late 50's an' still do!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 12:54 AM

Amos,

Love them! Listened to them on Mom's old red 78 until Dad went on a cleaning bing and trashed them all along about 1968 or 69. (He is still in the doghouse over that particular spate of obsessive-compulsiveness.)

Remember Lollipop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:38 PM

In your dreams, LH--the Chordettes wore LONG skirts and white gloves, and that was at their peak in 1957!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:22 PM

That is a cute song, all right. Nice harmonies. Nice gams too, I bet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM

Stilly, did you know that Amos doesn't sleep with a nightlight anymore? He's into some SoCal group sex thing with the Chordettes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM

Nope. We use digital versions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:07 PM

Hey, MOM, I'm back!

I didn't go away, I've just been really really busy. That skunk episode put quite a crimp in my plans for the last couple of days.

No, don't worry. I got the smell off of me (that Nature's Miracle stuff works pretty well). But I wouldn't let the dogs in the house, or if you do, don't let them on the furniture.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 10:18 PM

Doesn't your wife object? Or are you in one of those Southern California groupie things?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 08:49 PM

I don'tuse a nightlight, by the way, Rapaire.

These ladies are all I need to find my way to bed at night.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:14 PM

Sweet serendipity, where would I be without you,
For some it is a clarion call, for others its AHA
Some call it an epiphaney and others shout Eureka.

As for me I trudge across the sweet Serendipity plains
and trip over discoveries, insights and inventions.
Come with me to the great global serendipity convention.

My street has more than its share of moss backs and goons
They're quick to slander, snub and tell you who to hate.
Now they're suddenly best friends when I put a for sale post by my front gate.

All I meant to do was make a community bulletin board
But now that the neighbors are talking again and asking about my house,
I'm going to just keep it there and stay quiet as a mouse.

Yep, folks are most friendly for the comings and goings
so I I'll just keep that post there and let the neighbors think
about just how bad those damned those in between years really did stink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM

Well, to tell you the truth, LIttle Hawk, I am perfectly able to make my mind shut up and be silent, but it should be obvious that I would not come to this thread for that purpose.

Your superioroid evaluations of who I may or may not talk to is a breach of your own pretended altitudinous state, however. It is simply not for you to say.

As for pretending a boat might float, I believe that is a purely Candian delusion, according to the gospel of Saint Farley.

ANd nothing could possibly exemplify it better than your fervent, unwavering faith in the Shatner Icon.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:47 PM

Amos, someone who sleeps with a night light shouldn't criticize someone who wears bunny slippers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM

"what would you know about the subtle emanations of WOody's disincarnate spirit"

Enough to know that you haven't been talking to him. You are a silly bugger, Amos, tied to the endless cycle of emotional/mental reaction and counter-reaction like all the rest of us here. Having launched a boat that won't float by concocting a chimp sister with an obscene name for my pal Chongo, you are now bound by your ego to go on pretending that the boat does float forever and ever. I expect to still be hearing about Chinga from you a year from now. Two years from now. Five years from now. Till one of us dies. And for what? Well, one has to wonder, doesn't one?

I think it's because you just can't make your mind shut up and be silent. I have that problem too. ;-) So does everyone I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:37 PM

Oh, you are such a blind-eyed redneck, Little Hawk; what would you know about the subtle emanations of WOody's disincarnate spirit. Take nmy word for it, your disgruntlement is not grounds for me to worry much--my reach is far and deep in these matters and I ain't in need of no discerning remarks from a dude in bunny slippers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:08 PM

The discarnate spirit of Woody Guthrie doesn't associate with cheap rumormongers of your ilk, Amos. I think you must have instead had an ecounter with the discarnate spirit of Huey Long or somebody like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 03:46 PM

I spoke to the disincarnate spirit of Woody Guthrie and he really likes that song about Chinga. He also says Chongo ought to change his wicked ways or he'll end up on a gurney in some cheap midnight emergency ward somewhere. To do that he would have to take responsibility for his sins, including abandoning his Mom and Sister when they were down on their luck, among other things.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:46 PM

As Chongo's running mate (for VP -- get your minds out of the gutter or I'll tell Mom!) I intend to post something about the scurrilous and reprehensible rumors and lies currently circulating just as soon as I have the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:04 PM

Beats me where you get the time, Amos. ;-) You'll probably still be churning out this deathless stuff when I have gladly shrugged off the bonds of this mortal existence and gone on to the next thing.

Chongo says you're full of bat guano.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 01:00 PM

Chinga runs a cathouse chain
Across th great Midwest
The johns in old CHicago all
Swear Chinga's is the best.
The motor workers in Detroit
They say there's no comparing
To Chinga's on a Saturday,
Where the sweet ladies show their wares
At the early evening airing.

Now Chinga is a busy chimp,
As tough as hard-boiled nails.
She fought her way up to the top,
Making payroll, bribe and bail.
She always ran an honest shop,
Men thought of her as MOther,
But Chinga never told the boys
Abouther good-for-nothing
Hard drinking Chicago bum
Of a little brother.

And whent he girls have all gone home,
ANd the men have staggered out,
Chinga ciounts the daily take
ANd works the numbers out.
Then she puts the money in the safe.
And prays to her sainted mother.
And pauses to look at a photograph
OF her worthless little brother.

THere was a time in Africa
When they were a loving family
Chongo'd bring bananas down
To Momma, quick and handy.
They'd play wildly through the treetops there,
A dancing chimp farrago
Until a man in a Yellow Hat
Showed up and caught them in a net
And shipped them to Chicago.

Somehow they all escaped the zoo,
And they found means of survival.
Momma went to the Baptist church
ANd sang about revival.
Chinga started turning tricks
And learned how tricks are played.
But Chongo hit the bottle, man,
Learned to shoot, and learned to scam
ANd followed the gumshoe trade.

He never wrote or called his sister,
SInce Momma passed away
He never sent a letter home
Or shared his daily pay.
He left it all on Chinga's plate
To pay for Momma's board,
And he drank, and killed, in Chicago's slums
WHile Chinga, having little choice,
Walked the streets and whored.

Now Chinga in the moolah, boys,
She's built a trade successful.
She doesn't work on her back fer pay,
And the johns aren't very stressful.
So you can expect one of these days
When his losing ways have panned out,
That she'll see Chongo at her door,
Bluffing and lying about his life,
And looking for a handout.

Townes van Simiant, Cathouse Monkey Blues
From the LP "Songs From the Chimp Line", New York, Darwin Record Selections, 1978


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM

Now, now. You take your 'vitamins,' put on your jammies, and trundle off to beddy-by like a good boy. And don't drink too much water. You know you wet the bed if you drink too much and Amos sleeps on the bunk below you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:39 AM

It's Amos who is getting worse, just when I didn't think that was even possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:10 AM

Just got in from hearing Juan Williams (of NPR and, oddly enough, FOX news) speak on campus. It was simply the best lecture on politics I've heard in ages, possibly in my lifetime. And I got a question in (written), first one, and he took 10 minutes to answer it. Wow! I took my 16-year-old son and he listened very intently. If ever he was to pay attention to a commencement speech in high school or college graduation, I'd want him to listen to this one. It was that good. A call to pay attention, to social and political action.

It was funny, he said people on campus today would approach and say they saw him on FOX, and others would walk up and say "I know your voice, it's nice to put a face with it." And he paused then noted that it was two completely different groups of people, the FOX viewers and the NPR listeners. No kidding!

Now I'm headed to bed. All of that skunk activity last night and bathing dogs off and on today wore me out. They still stink, but not like they did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 11:08 PM

It's okay, Amos. It's okay. Little Hawk is okay now. Take these nice pills like a good boy. THERE you go! All nice and good now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 10:59 PM

Mom:

Little Hawk is getting worse. See if he's been palming his meds again and slipping them into his socks drawer, wouldja???



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:59 PM

Cheny actually went to Chinga--first as a client, then later (int he way these things often go, oddly) as a supplicant. He begged her to help him give up his evil ways and get straight with America. She declined. "Getting straight must come from within," she said. "Any Dick knows that."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:21 PM

Chongo could have straightened Bush out on that if Bush had ever asked him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM

That's it, thinking with your Dick again....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 05:49 PM

If only Bush had consulted with Mom. If only Reagan had. Monm knows BS and she knows economics. If only Henry Paulson had come to her and said, "Mom, its lookin' bad--what should we do??" But noooooooo.



Cheny was the one who stopped the idea, I am sure. If it hadn't have been for him, Paulson and Bush would have come here and gotten a hatful of first-rate advice.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

LOL! I've often thought you were the Green Hungarian sort, Monsieur. But I was afraid to ask.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM

Nah, the quality deteriorated. I used to like a good California Green Hungarian, for example, or something from Firestone Vineyards. Even some of the brandies were good. Now they're developing wines for specialty niches, like the new one for the geriatric set. A glass in the evening is supposed to let you sleep through the night -- it's called Pinot Moore. No quality control anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:38 AM

YEah, they went the way of the French wines--too good not to become cliches.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM

Well Mom, I'm going to a wine tasting this evening. We're going to taste wines from Oregon, Idaho, Washington, British Columbia, and even Utah. But not from California, because California wines aren't what they used to be.

I've got one of the last bottles of a red from Missouri called "Hunter's Red". Sweetish, but excellent. Nauvoo is making wines again, and have been making some nice drys, but they still have a way to go. Michigan, of course, is still doing very well; so is upstate New York. Ohio and Indiana, even Kentucky, are producing some pretty fair products. Too bad about California wines, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

Yeah, I'm gonna pop into the Courthouse Annex and vote sometime this week -- maybe tomorrow. For a really good time, drop around the Library on November 4 -- we're a polling place for TWO precincts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

Politiculi completii!!





There ya go!! Our votes are cast, and I feel much better. Thanks heavens for a stable address and mail-in ballots.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:45 PM

Somebody wave a wand and make all of the politics go away.

Early voting starts one of these days soon and I'm going to get at the head of the line and get it out of the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:21 PM

Professor McGonigle pointed her wand at Dumbledore. "Viagra!" she said, but without effect. Then Snape walked into the room and Dumbledore snapped to attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 09:05 PM

Merda taurorum animas conturbit, et non gradus anus rodentum donato.

Harry Potter pointed his wand at Ron and Hermione and shouted, "Coitus interruptus!"


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