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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 04 Nov 05 - 02:57 AM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:49 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:47 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:47 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:46 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 05 - 07:11 PM
MMario 03 Nov 05 - 06:37 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 06:02 PM
Amos 03 Nov 05 - 05:30 PM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 03:48 PM
MMario 03 Nov 05 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 05 - 03:19 PM
MMario 03 Nov 05 - 11:29 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Nov 05 - 11:21 AM
Acme 03 Nov 05 - 10:55 AM
Amos 03 Nov 05 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Nov 05 - 09:11 AM
Acme 02 Nov 05 - 11:50 PM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 11:14 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 05 - 11:09 PM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 05 - 09:19 PM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 08:45 PM
Acme 02 Nov 05 - 03:38 PM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 10:37 AM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 10:12 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 05 - 09:13 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Nov 05 - 09:03 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 05 - 08:57 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Nov 05 - 08:52 AM
Amos 02 Nov 05 - 05:28 AM
Acme 01 Nov 05 - 11:22 PM
Amos 01 Nov 05 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 05 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 05 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 05 - 12:48 PM
MMario 01 Nov 05 - 12:46 PM
Acme 01 Nov 05 - 12:19 PM
Amos 01 Nov 05 - 12:18 PM
MMario 01 Nov 05 - 11:49 AM
Bunnahabhain 01 Nov 05 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 05 - 11:41 AM
Acme 01 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM
Amos 01 Nov 05 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM
MMario 01 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:57 AM

Ah, Mag, thou hast the blood of the Number Beast in your veins!! LOL

Fine song -- but what is that missing line? After proffering his fin?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:49 PM

What a very good song! Dad used to sing it to us at bedtime. Now we can all go to bed and get some sleep. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM

So they took her aboard in a jiffy
And the shark stood at attention the while,
Then he raised on his flipper
And ate up the skipper
And went on his way with a smile.

And this shows that the prince of the ocean,
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark,
Is the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child

@animal
Reprinted in Song Fest by Dick and Beth Best
from Nautical Lays of a Landsman by Wallace Irwin
@fish @animal
Copyright 1904 Wallace Irwin
filename[ CHIVSHAR
TUNE FILE: CHIVSHAR
CLICK TO PLAY
SOF


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM

Then he proffered his fin and she took it-
While the passengers cheered
As the vessel they neared
And a broadside was fired in salute.

And they soon stood alongside the vessel,
When a life-saving dinghy was lowered
With the pick of the crew,
And her relatives too,
And the mate and the skipper aboard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:47 PM

. . .

She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her bark,
And she'd surely been drowned
If she hadn't been found
By a chivalrous man-eating shark.

He bowed in a manner most polished.
Thus soothing her impulses wild:
"Don't be frightened," he said,
I've been properly bred
And I eat neither woman nor child."

. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:47 PM

. . .

A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
He'll gobble one any fine day,
But the ladies, God bless 'em.
He'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way.

l can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of Breem,
Who was tender and sweet
And delicious to eat,
Fell into the bay with a scream.

. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:46 PM

I've had this song stuck in my head the last couple of days:

CHIVALROUS SHARK
(Wallace Irwin)

The most chivalrous fish of the ocean,
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark
Is the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child.

He dines upon seamen and skippers,
And tourists his hunger assuage,
And a fresh cabin boy
Will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age.
. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:27 PM

I didn't call him a ralph, because he didn't say "Har!", but he wasn't a particularly pleasant person. I quoted Dr. Seuss at him and I think that upset him ("And the big Kangaroo said 'me too!'") after a couple of people posted on the same topic. There was a guy who agreed with me, but his post was so odd that I wasn't sure who he was scolding, hence my quote. The first guy I think wasn't sure what to make of that part of it. :)

This may be an instance where you had to be there.

Mom, it's getting time for a little hand-holding. Darn, but it's late again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 07:11 PM

Do not overlook city halls, village assemblies, boards of trustees, boards of directors, all politcal parties, boards of regents, and such like groups.

By their fruits you shall know them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 06:37 PM

one of the signs of a ralf! ohmygawd - they've taken over the White House! And the Senate! and the House of Representatives! and the state legislatures! And most courtrooms!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 06:02 PM

I seem to have picked a fight with a member of my gardening discussion list. (!) I made a simple remark that 'although I didn't support the man or his politics, I was interested to know if the Bush family had organic or other environmental operations going at the ranch in Crawford.' Several of us discussed what we knew about the design and organics, then a guy came in, not to say anything about organics, but to highlight my position on Bush and say he hoped we weren't going to start down the road of making political remarks in this site blah blah blah. I told him politics is part of life and I had restrained myself admirably. He sent a private message telling me he spent good money to join the site for the organic information and didn't want to see the politics. I wrote back and told him he only complained because he supported Bush, otherwise he wouldn't care. I called him petty to interrupt a perfectly good conversation to say his piece. (I could have accused him of being MG or Beardedbruce or one of our other arguers, but then I'd have had to explain myself. . . well anyway, I see that I have another private message from him.

What are the odds that he's going to say "Actually, I oppose Bush, but I don't want to start a landslide of Bush-bashing threads here at our gardening site and forgive me for making a fuss."

Yeah. I should open it and post his remarks here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 05:30 PM

As any Bush gangster knows, truth in such an attack has nothing to do with anything; there is no defense if one IS as labeled, and if one is NOT as labeled, one is likely to be so labeled anyway, especially if the accuser repeats himself often and loudly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 03:48 PM

None. There is no hope at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 03:33 PM

Is there any defense if one is a ralf?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 03:19 PM

Obviously Raedwulf should get over here and defend against being labeled a "Ralf."

Assuming that Raedwulf actually isn't one. Even if Raedwulf is a Ralf, a defense is in order. Who would ever want to be associated with that bunch?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:29 AM

Raedwulf is a ralf? I can HAR-dly believe *that*!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:21 AM

I just found something intersting, whilst trying to find something upstairs.

Ralph ( or Ralf) The imp of mischief in a printing house. From Old English name, Raedwulf.


Their secret is out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 10:55 AM

On a related topic:


http://filmstripinternational.com/

Might want to turn the volume down on the computer speakers if you're looking at this at work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 09:57 AM

In the absence of other citations, your speculation will serve handsomely. Honey dippers indeed. I like it -- dippy but plausible, as it were. Good shew, Rap!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM

Okay, here goes a totally nonscholarly attempt at the folk origins of "dipshit."

1. Night soil removers are colloquially called "honey dippers" (see, for example, the term "honey pot").

2. This also applies to those who empty septic tanks ("honey dipper" was seen on the trucks of several septic tank maintenance companies in both Indiana and Maryland and to my certain knowledge the term is used in speech elsewhere as well).

3. In the past, those who removed night soil did so using a cart, barrels, and long-handled implements resembling ladles or dippers.

4. In no community that I know of was this considered a particularily "high end" job (although it was, and continues to be, a very necessary job).

5. Because of #4, those employed in the trade were not the best of the area's citizens.

6. Because of the implements used (see #3), the term "shit dippers" would be an obvious term for those in the trade.

7. "Dipshit" is more in the line of "folk poetry" and sound more harmonious than "shit dipper." Besides, "shit dipper" could be confused with "shitepoke", a common name for various herons.

QED, as we used to say at Cambridge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 09:11 AM

It is rather worrying. We need to stand by to repel boarders, stand guard against Flamencoing Teds, and generally not fall asleep around tea time.

I'll take first watch...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 11:50 PM

When I looked it up I expected it to be linked to dip shit, but apparently not. At least, not in my limited search. No etymology so far on the word.

I wish Mom wouldn't keep tilting this near to the century mark at bedtime. It's harder to defend her honor that way, but I rely on you west coasters to stay alert while I slumber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 11:14 PM

I will reiterate -- I believe this is the third time -- I am quite familiar with the word, and have no question about how it is presently used.   What I want is an etymology, dammit!! You are being much too thick to be serious, sirrah!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 11:09 PM

Good Lord, Amos! I heard the term "dip shit" as long ago as 1959. "Dip" is also listed in the "1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue" -- there are four references there to "Dip" "The Dip" "Dippers" and "Dipt," the second last refering to Anabaptists. Chapman's "Thesaurus of American Slang" (1989) lists as synonyms for "dipshit" the words "asshole" "crummy" "dope" and "jerk." For "dip" it lists "asshole" "dope" "heist man" "junkie" "nut" and "sleazebag." It lists "crazy" and "ditsy" as synonyms for "dippy."

"Dipshit" does not appear in Partridge's "Shakespeare's Bawdy."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 10:33 PM

Well, there's other more traditional references to "dip", such as sheep dip. Otherwise I am at a loss to know where "dip shit" comes from. You are being disingenuous, good sir!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 09:19 PM

I thought it came from "dip" ("He's a real dip") which I thought was a cleaned-up version of "dip shit" ("He's a real dip shit").


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 08:45 PM

Oh I never doubted what it meant, Mag!! Just where it came from. It's a dippy thing I have.

:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 03:38 PM

From Roget's Thesaurus

dippy

ADJECTIVE: Slang. So senseless as to be laughable: absurd, foolish, harebrained, idiotic, imbecilic, insane, lunatic, mad, moronic, nonsensical, preposterous, silly, softheaded, tomfool, unearthly, zany. Informal : cockeyed, crazy, loony, loopy. Slang : balmy2, dopey, jerky, sappy, wacky. See ABILITY, KNOWLEDGE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 10:37 AM

There are many ways to lose face in the world, and one learns to deal with most of them through the course of a lifetime:

MSNBC reports on an exception:

Woman loses face in encounter with seal
Beast gives seal of disapproval to assistance, bites off South African's nose
Updated: 4:52 p.m. ET Oct. 31, 2005

JOHANNESBURG - A seal bit off a South African woman's nose after she tried to help it back into the sea, an official said Monday.

Elsie van Tonder, 49, is expected to undergo surgery this week after being bitten on a beach near George, about 400 kilometers (240 miles) east of Cape Town on Saturday.

Her nose was found but could not be reattached to her face, local media reported.




I guess the real world -- including seals -- doesn't understand how helpful some people would be, if only you would let them... :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 10:12 AM

Turns out I am in good company -- the American Heritage Dictionary its own self has no known origin for "dippy". Mebbe it sprang from the popular Dippy Bird novelty toy of the 1940-50's.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 09:13 AM

Let me point out that the Idaho Legion has been so laid back for so long that it's fallen flat on its face (and likes it there). And it hasn't ever proven anything except maybe the effects of proof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 09:03 AM

Sorry, Wrong window! If that last comment doesn't make much sense, that would be as it was supposed to go to Crystal, not Moab.

Why are women so hard to calm down? Just because someone's found a video of me, in an interesting situation with a rather drunk group of Poles, she's acting as if it's the end of the world...

Amos is right
...do you not remember what it feels like to be genuinely loved for what you are, not for what you can prove? Ya need to get laid back here, buddy, the stress level is WAY too high ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 08:57 AM

F-Troop? You don't know about F-Troop?? Dang, the entire series is required viewing during Basically Training for the Legion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 08:52 AM

If it is shown on Saturday,it'll most likey be upstaged by Freiderike's new dress, or a dozen other things. Don't worry about it dear


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 05:28 AM

That;s sure a song I, too, would call dippy. Which, I might add, is a word for which I have no etymology and would lover to have some. Wherever sprang it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 11:22 PM

If you're looking for dippy songs, Mudcat's own Blackcatter has a site that provided the following:

The end of the Civil War was near when quite accidentally,
A hero who sneezed abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory.

His medal of honor pleased and thrilled his proud little family group.
While pinning it on some blood was spilled and so it was planned he'd command F-Troop.

Where Indian fights are colorful sights & nobody takes a lickin'
Where pale face and redskin both turn chicken.

When killing and fighting get them down, they know their morale can't droop.
As long as they all relax in town before they resume with a bang and a boom F-Troop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 10:59 PM

ROFLMAO! Rapaire, man, you are funny. The SOCAL Surfing, Bikers, Tokers, Tanners and Granola Brigade are rolling around on their barracks floor and discussing PsyOps strategies. They are sure they have a weiner on their hands!! Hot Dog!!

These are not Sesame Street wannabes, Smurf-lovers, or Care-Bear-airheads. These are veterans, who survived the Beat era, the Hip era, the Folk Scare, the Flower Chile era, the New Young Republicans era, the Carter Years, the real estate boom, the real estate bust, the Golden State era and the Fool's Golden State era. They have been around more blocks than your Legionairres could even imagine.

But never mind. You-all go forth and wrestle the world, and the PsyOps boys will ufold their summer lightning as gentle as dew on the barley, an' before you know it, you will be dioscovering how truly beautiful the world is with you in it.

Thanks for the grins, compadre. Safe harbor, safe return, keep the wind at your back... LOL!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 10:43 PM

Now listen here, Mom.

I have to go to Minneapolis on Friday. And on Sunday I have to fly back to Salt Lake City so that I can catch a plane to Boise on Monday morning, and I won't be back here until late Tuesday night.

I'll be around for a couple more days, anyway, but while I'm gone I want you to be good. And don't you believe all that cra...guff that Amos puts out. Granola Brigands and all that...that's a lot of hooey. Why, if the Idaho Legion had those Southern California girly-boys in the Legion Hovel for just one minute those Socal Socialites would be drunk under the BASEMENT table, cleaned out of their cash in a poker game, and found wanting in the...well, in the kissing department. In two minutes the Legion would have recruited 'em and shipped 'em off to Basically Training at the Booty Camp in Daniels. That's Camp "Jack" Daniels, and it's called that because when the crutes get there they don't know jack, the DIs jack around with 'em, and when they get out they've been jacked up pretty darn good. At least that's the official reason for the name.

But don't you let Amos fool you, Mom. You Know What Sort Of Person He Is. Stick with Stilly or Bunn or even Bee-Dubya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 03:40 PM

La, la, la, la, la, la, sing a happy song
La, la, la, la, la, la, Smurf the whole day long

(whistle) - Smurf along with me
(whistle) - simple as can be

Next time you're feeling blue just let a smile begin
Happy things will come to you so Smurf yourself a grin

(spoken) "Ooh, I hate Smurfs! I'll get you, I'll get all of you, If it's the last thing I'll ever do!"

La, la, la, la, la, la, now you know the tune
La, la, la, la, la, la, you'll be Smurfing soon.


Thank goodness I never heard THAT!

Or this:

Singing the blues when the home teams lose it's a crisis in your life
On the run 'cause all your girlfriends wanna be your wife
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those nights when you've got no lights, the check is in the mail;
And your little angel hung the cat up by it's tail;
And your third fianc� didn't show;

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see, our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Climbing the walls when no one calls; you've lost at love again.
And the more you're down and out, the more you need a friend.
When you long to hear a kind hello.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead; the morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know, people are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.


OUTRO
Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came.


And, Allah be praised!, neither of these:

Theme Song #1

I wanna be a Care Bear. Oh It will be so great to when I'm a Care Bear
Oh I can hardly wait to be a Care Bear and do the things Care Bears do.
Oh I wanna be a Care Bear Like you! You do?

I'll be like Funshine and make the sunshine
And have heart like Love-a-Lot.
I'll be like Wish Bear and always be there.
We'll be the luckiest bears in Care-a-Lot.

I wanna be a Care Bear and fill the world with love
To be a Care Bear is what I'm dreaming of.
We'll make a great pair. We'll stick together through and through Like glue.

I don't wanna be a cook or a fireman and I don't wanna play trombone in the marching band.
I just wanna be a care Bear Like you! I just wanna be a Care Bear.


Theme song #2 (used in some of the reruns)

Care Bear Countdown, 4, 3, 2, 1
Who's that comin' from somewhere up in the sky?
Moving fast and bright as a firefly
Just when you think the trouble's gonna pounce
Who's gonna be there when it really counts?
Do the Care Bear Countdown
And send a wish out through the air
Just do the Care Bear Countdown
When you need them they'll be there
Don't be afraid when trouble's brewin' in your heart
If you can dream just send a wish out in the dark
And do the Care Bear's Countdown 5, 4, 3, 2, 1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 12:48 PM

I am sooo glad I don't live in Florida.

And what about the price of hamster food?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 12:46 PM

I think freds alternate between the theme songs of Friends and Cheers depending on their current psychosexual status and whether they are pre- or post- genetic replication.

on the gripping hand, ralfs - those beings that have raised obnoxiousness to the limit - sing the theme from "Smurfs" Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 12:19 PM

I'm on a first-name basis with several Home Depot clerks. Remodeling over a prolonged period feels somewhat like a tornado hit the place.

I thought freds sang the theme song to Cheers. (now get it out of your head)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 12:18 PM

Oh, Rapaire, Rapaire...do you not remember what it feels like to be genuinely loved for what you are, not for what you can prove? Ya need to get laid back here, buddy, the stress level is WAY too high -- all these JUDGEMENTS, maan. You are too groovy to waste on all these JUDGEMENTS . Ya wanna get in touch with your inner perfection, dude, and honor it, see? Otherwise, it's all illegitimi carborundum, ya know whaddI mean, dude?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 11:49 AM

a group that can be defeated with either a right hook, or a manly embrace . . .

you are still talking the California Granola Brigade here, yes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 11:47 AM

They're like big ol' spiders, who embrace you, admire you, suck out your juices, eat your innards, and honor your memory with a huge belch.

    Isn't that what Freds do, after having stunned their victims with the theme song from Freinds? I think it's all a big front, and the bad acting is a cover for their non human origins.
    That would make anything with Shatner in it a really clever cover. It makes the idea of aliens seem so ridiculous that nobody notices. After all who could take a group that can be defeated with either a right hook, or a manly embrace seriously....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 11:41 AM

You know you live in Florida if...

YOUR SISTER'S FAMILY, PREVIOUSLY ADDICTED TO THE ORLANDO AREA,
WON'T COME DOWN FOR THANKSGIVING, EVEN THOUGH YOU ASSURE THEM THAT
"HURRICANE SEASON IS OVER BY THEN, ALICE!"

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has
three bedrooms, two baths, and one safe hallway.

Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

The road leading to your house has been declared a 'No-Wake' Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the
pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the
least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take
a gallon of gas to get there and back".

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your
freezer.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can
assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound redfish - in your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's
insurance policy.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest
chainsaw.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work
at the Weather Channel and every single newscaster and reporter at all
of the major stations in town.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder, or a
tree worker.

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's
Christmas.

The hurricane shutter guy and your roofer are driving BMW's.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the
"bad side."

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

A chain saw, generator or a gas grill comes as a free gift with every
new Florida mortgage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM

Okay. I was afraid you were going to burst into the theme song for Friends. (I'm just guessing that was on NBC because I never watched it. My kids watch it now in reruns.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 09:00 AM

NBC is mil-speak for Nuclear, Biological or Chemical weapons.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM

NBC = CBR = Nuclear Biological Chemical [warfare] = Chemical Biological Radiological [warfare].

I don't WANNA be embraced, admired, and honored by a bunch of granola-swigging, Birckenstock-wearing, sandal makers from Southern California. They're like big ol' spiders, who embrace you, admire you, suck out your juices, eat your innards, and honor your memory with a huge belch. Besides, there ain't all that much to embrace, admire and honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM

we had one (1) trick-or-treater; my great-niece (who is a really cute 3.5 years old) and I almost missed her as she had a party to go to, got home just as her folks had put her back into the car to drive away.


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