BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 05:49 PM

Bald spot? Tsk tsk. Sad, indeed. Certainly below usual calibre. Cloudy day? Had to wear a sweater?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 07:49 PM

You COULD board a plane, fly to SLC, then take another plane and come visit Eiseley and myself. But I doubt if you will. No one comes to visit us. Oh, Truman came through on a train once, and so did Garfield. But no one recently. To take a train here you'd have to hop a freight and you're too old for that sort of thing. I'd even share my shack with you and give you a blanket that didn't have too many holes in it and share a tin of Mulligan with you. Even some Thunderbird or Boone's Farm.

But no. Go visit with your rich upper-class millionaire friends in Portland. Remember though, that an injury to one is an injury to all.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 09:20 PM

I have looked it up, Amos. Yes...you do always say that.

But think of the hurt feelings you're causing poor Chongo by describing him as "an ideational monstrosity". It's insensitive of you to do that. Have you no regard for the difficulties faced by an ape living in a predominantly human society where he encounters specist prejudice and crude stereotyping on every hand? Where ignorant morons refer to him as "a monkey"? Where he must agonize over whether or not he will be properly understood when he politely asks an attractive woman if she would like to go out for coffee sometime? When he must endure the impolite stares of fools on the street who can't take the sight of a fedora & trenchcoat-wearing ape in their stride and just act normal? When he is denied his civil rights in a hundred different ways?

Fie, sir! Fie! For shame.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 10:31 PM

Asking a woman to coffee: "Ook ook ook."
Talking to a cop: "Ook! Ook!"
Cashing a check (rare): "Ook ook ook."

Chonga's vocabulary is a bit limited, you know. "Would you like to go for some coffee?" sound just like "How much for the night, baby?" Confusion arises in the hearer, and attempting to "pass" in a predominantly human society means that s/he should be speaking some human language. French, English, Spanish, Arapaho, Navajo, Russian...a language actually in current use. Suggesting this, however, is likely to provoke a response of "Ook! Ook!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 13 - 11:08 PM

Well, I have always said iy, but there is no certain guarantee that the remark was aimed at Chongo; so perhaps you do protest overmuch. Of course if the size fifteen tennie fits...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:29 AM

FLYING to Portland? Amos, don't you realize yet that the Earth has only a finite amount of lift and each flight uses up more of it? We are fast approaching a lift crisis and no one yet cares!

Someday very soon airplanes and helicopters -- even balloons and dirigibles and blimps! -- will sit on the ground forever because the supply of lift will have been depleted. Imagine a sky devoid of birds, of clouds, even of smoke and steam.

Oh sure, laugh if you want, but the handwriting is on the wall.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:43 AM

I have contacted the Father Superior at the Temple of the Golden Globes, in response to your news, Rapaire. They have a whole department dedicated to providing lift and analyzing it so I am sure they will be able to do something.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Still Sober In Blind River
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 12:23 PM

Hi ho!

Jennifer Dana is having dinner with me this evening! What wonderful things happen when you stay clean in body and mind and give yourself to the Lord!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 01:05 PM

(sigh!)

Like I said, those who plagiarize my created characters are going to suffer eternal torment! Yea, for they will be cast into the pit of famished shrews, there to be gnawed upon ceaselessly for eternity upon eternity until Woody Allen stops kvetching and the seas run dry. Horrible will their torment be. Hideous their fate. And all because they would not leave the fate of my characters in mine own good hands where they belong.

For I will send out my clones to expose these hiding miscreants, that their iniquity be made public knowledge, and they will be scourged and driven forth from our midst to perish in the Outer Darkness! Thus sayeth the Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 02:58 PM

LH, I think you're jealous that SSiBR is having dinner with a beautiful, fictional cop and you're not.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 03:14 PM

And I think you are a petty, interfering scalliwag, intent on riding on the back of another's creativity in order to annoy him.

It's too bad Shane doesn't live right next door to you. It would serve you right. He'd keep you awake at night with incredibly loud music, leave trash strewn on the street in front of your house, and drive the value of your property down by at least 40% just by being there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:18 PM

The house next door to mine is for sale. Shame would be a better neighbor than the last were.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 09:42 PM

300 large fer a quarter acre? Idaho is that small????

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 13 - 11:23 PM

18 hole golf course just over the back fence. The house was built by the University's College of Technology as a building project. It's a well built, well designed place.

Now, if you want small, I have to walk about a mile to get to this. It's downright puny compared to the Frank, but I gotta drive at least 90 minutes to get there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 12:36 AM

Seems like a nice deal. We could sell this place, buy that one for the Spring and Summer, and a condo in the Caribbean for the cold months, just on the proceeds.

But I am not sure it would be wise


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 12:43 AM

Alas, Shane and Don could never get the cash together to buy that place, Rap, and no one will lend it to them either. Too bad, eh?

It's a great looking property.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 08:58 AM

Autumn is also lovely here in the mountains, Amos. Slashes of bright yellow aspen and crimson mountain maple highlighting the dark green of the cedars and junipers on the mountain sides and all set against a bright blue sky -- lovely.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 12:10 PM

SO far from everyone, though...of course there's be you, but...everyone else. :D

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 01:16 PM

Yeah, it's really lonely living in the middle of 60,000 people. No music to speak of, no theater, no beer, no science, nope,
none.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 03:47 PM

Hey, you guys have a big accelerator up there. Why not turn it on the town and accelerate your evolution into a a happening scene, dude?!! I'd move up there, like, in a minute!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 05:59 PM

Actually, there are three more accelerators in storage -- and five reactors. But if you want reactors, you go to The Site (known to the unknowing as Idaho National Laboratory). They got stuff out there that will blow you away. Literally. There are still unexploded 500 pound bombs from WW2 rotting away in the desert...and to put that radiant glow in your cheeks, there's nuclear waste out there as well! Why, we don't even have streetlights; we just bask in The Glow.

And it's all sitting square on the Yellowstone "super fault."

Wheee!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 06:51 PM

You live in a flippin' dump, man! I seen TV shows about yer kinda places down in the USA. Just a buncha flippin' greesy rednecks and gun nuts, eh? Iditos and loosers. Beer that taistes like moose piss. I live in a place witch you would die for to be in, eh? Blind River. Flippin' paradias! The jool of the flippin' North! Eat yer haert out, bolthole!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 07:00 PM

The puir lad has backslid something ferocious, hasn't he?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 07:02 PM

Got me one of them supercharged palindromes! 47474!! Read it and weep!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 09:11 PM

How very nice for you, Amos. I congratulate you upon your good fortune.

I suppose Shame is out of prison or detox or something again. But there is big news from Blind River -- guess what they have now! Just the one at the moment, apparently.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 10:07 PM

That can't be a Blind River toilet! It's clean.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 10:19 PM

Unlike Shame, who in many ways resembles a toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 10:33 PM

Especially verbally...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 13 - 11:27 PM

Swipe? We got swipe here years ago. Irving makes swipe by the roll.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 09:27 AM

Better'n them old-time corncobs and pine cones, ain't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 12:13 PM

I have never used a corncob as swipe. I know it should be on my bucket list, but it is not.

I also have never ridden the rod, or the blinds, as a hobo.

But I have battled green seas over and danced in bars in Casa, and ridden a motorcycle along the African coast and crawled the bottom of the Med and the kelp beds of California. So it ain't all bad.

I think I need a new adventure, though, despite the onset of creak in the bone, so I am off to Portland for the Singtime Frolics this weekend. We shall see what zephyrs, nymphs and bullyrags arise there!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 01:49 PM

And much superior to the Eaton's catalogue as well.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 03:34 PM

There are some things which you cannot replace with a computer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 05:05 PM

Amos...have you ever done the horizontal bop with a Chimp? Or a gorilla?

Time's a wastin', buddy! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 06:34 PM

Or an octopus? Or a giant squid? Or a walrus? Or a grizzly? Or a tuna? Why would you want to?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 11:20 PM

I don't think I'll post any more today.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 13 - 11:34 PM

Why not?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 08:27 AM

I went to bed.

Yes, I admit it: I'm addicted to sleep. I even take naps in the afternoon! And nod off during boring speeches and things!

There is no program to help this. Oh, were I only a drunk or a drug addict or a gambler and could get help! Even were there a Sleepers Anonymous I couldn't call for help because I'd be asleep!

But YOU can help. Send cash donations.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 10:07 AM

Hawk, I never done none of those things.

Ain't gonna start, moreover.

I sigh for Rapp's difficulties. I knowed in my heart he was some kinda addict and now it's common knowledge. Sigh.

Fare thee well.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 11:13 AM

Good morning! The wind is certainly howling today. My oldest son used his jacket as a sail and was able to ride his skateboard uphill for several blocks.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 12:29 PM

Go, son, go! Ride like the wind! (cue gallopy sounds and stirring violins).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 02:34 PM

I'm a computer addict. It's worse than sleep addiction! It is the bane of my existence. You know why? Because it's sooooo easy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 03:33 PM

What's worse, LH, is it is a GATEWAY drug! You know what THAT means, right? You are on the SLIPPERY SLOPE, son. Your life-styler choices have steered you towards the maw of Hell itself! That's what those gateway drugs do! Yes, it is! Slippery slope!! Next thing you know you'll be playing video games and accepting cerebral implants. Google glasses!! Your own mother won't know her flesh-and-blood boy no more!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 04:53 PM

Sage words of warning, Amos! Indeed, my very soul is hanging in the balance. Oh, what shall I do?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 05:01 PM

Sign up for extreme internet access. It will speed up your ultimate demise. So fast that your head will expload. Problem solved.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 09:46 PM

Take up skateboarding in Pocatello. You're already damaged, so you might as well get it over with.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 09:46 PM

47498....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 10:21 PM

I'd rather play checkers with George W. Bush than go skateboarding in Pocatello, Idaho.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 10:31 PM

Sorry I didn't drop in earlier, MOM. I've been working in the yard and walking back and forth to the Chevy dealer. Dropped off the truck and walked home, then walked back and drove home. New brakes front and back. They throw in a free carwash. Heckuva way to get the truck cleaned up.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 13 - 10:57 PM

How about skateboarding in Inkom? How about in Grace? Salmon? Yankee Fork? Shelley? Firth? Henry? Soda Spring? Lava Hot Springs? Dingle? Preston? Downey? Arimo? Rattlesnake? Whiskey Mike's? Mountain Home? Twin Falls? Bliss? Sandpoint? Moscow? Silver City? The Frank? Atomic City? Arco? Craters of the Moon? Challis? Payette? Hell's Canyon? Aberdeen? American Falls? Jerome?

Just pick a place in Idaho and do it! Skateboard your li'l ol' heart out!