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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 01:40 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 12:51 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 12:35 PM
Acme 28 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:55 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM
MMario 28 Oct 08 - 08:42 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 01:06 AM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 11:30 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 10:43 PM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 09:13 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 06:58 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 04:42 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 04:11 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 03:24 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 01:48 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 01:47 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 01:38 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 12:50 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 12:21 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 11:18 AM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 11:11 AM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 11:10 AM
MMario 27 Oct 08 - 10:54 AM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 10:03 AM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 09:50 AM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 09:36 AM
Janie 26 Oct 08 - 03:19 PM
Amos 26 Oct 08 - 02:15 PM
Acme 26 Oct 08 - 01:26 PM
Amos 26 Oct 08 - 12:57 PM
Acme 26 Oct 08 - 12:36 PM
Amos 26 Oct 08 - 12:13 PM
Acme 26 Oct 08 - 09:37 AM
Acme 25 Oct 08 - 09:33 PM
Amos 25 Oct 08 - 12:33 PM
Acme 25 Oct 08 - 11:07 AM
Acme 25 Oct 08 - 12:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:40 PM

Pop quiz!!! Name 5 of the Japanese empire's greatest flying aces of WWII in the next 60 seconds and win an all-expense-paid weekend with the Chretiens (Jean and Alline) in lovely rural Shawinigan, Quebec!

Go!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 12:51 PM

The word "tits", in common usage among North Americans, does NOT mean just the nipples, it means the entire breasts (nipples included).

"Teats", on the other hand, does mean just the nipples. Therefore I assert that "tit" is a stand alone word. It derives from "teat", but it does not in fact mean the same thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 12:35 PM

ANd while pedantry runs amok, let me add that there is no such word as terpsichorian, but what Rapaire was thinking of was terpsichorean:

terp·si·cho·re·an (tūrps-k-rn, tūrps-kōr-n, -kr-)
adj.
Of or relating to dancing.
n.
A dancer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM

Hey LH! "breast" is a uephemism. tits or more correctly teats is the correct term.

Another thing we have to thank Victorian England for.


Pardon me for nit tit picking here, guys, but you've parsed it out wrong.

Breast is the top frontal muscle mass on the outer chest wall. It's shape is immaterial, male and female primates and birds (at least) have them.

Teats/tits are the NIPPLE on the breast. Again, male and female primates both have them. Also do all mammals have teats/tits, regardless of having a muscle mass called a "breast" or not. (And don't forget monotremes and marsupials--there is some kind of tit in the pouch). And of course, birds don't have tits unless they ARE tits.

As you were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:55 AM

In fact, Loverly Lulu, who regularly dances at the Legion Hovel, will oft bare her bosom (and other parts) as enhancements to her terpsichorian performances. If she were to simply prance about the stage removing her garments to the raucous shouts of the (mostly) male audience it would be vulgarity indeed and would deservedly be closed by the police officers after her act was complete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:46 AM

Mario - "Bosom" is a nice term, yes. Very genteel and charming. I like it.

****

Rave on, Amos. I know that you secretly envy my grace and my general level of good breeding and erudition almost as much as you envy William Shatner's meteoric rise to fame, which is to say: a great deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM

WE prefer the more gentile term "bosom." One goes "bosom up", one "bosoms" the relentless waves, one assaults the enemy's "bosomworks", one grills chicken bosoms. And, of course, one puts those endearing little paper panties on the limbs of roasted chickens and turkeys. Anything less would inflame the bosoms of young gentlemen and ladies with thoughts of insatiable lust, which would lead to the worst excesses of the French Revolution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM

My, you certainly have a boatload of pressing opiniopns to sell, don't you? I'm afraid the market has gone teats-up, breasts skyward, ventrally vertical, F.U.B.A.R., down the crapper, out the bottom, crashed, ruined, shot to hell, and collapsed. In short, tits-up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM

"Teats" is (or at least was) the correct term, agreed. However, it seems to have gone out of style while "breasts" seems to have taken its place. I regard that as a good thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 08:42 AM

Hey LH! "breast" is a uephemism. tits or more correctly teats is the correct term.

Another thing we have to thank Victorian England for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:06 AM

Now, Amos, don't start waving your arms around and pacing rapidly up and down as you deliver these impassioned outbursts...it causes shortness of breath and it is unduly hard on the nervous system.   ;-)

You are verging into extreme hyperbole, as is your wont. No, it is only the word "tits" that I object to. I find it coarse and vulgar. I have no objection whatsoever to the word "breast" or "breasts" being used in any of the combinations you alluded to, nor am I offended by the expression "useless as teats on a boar hog". People who are ignorant of the elementary physical structure and function of male pigs do not concern me overly much, I can assure you. There are very few such people in any case, and those few who do exist are quite harmless, in my opinion.

Now look...suppose someone were to say, "Amos should make a clean breast of his ignorance regarding teats on boar hogs..."

Would that be cause for you to be offended? Certainly not!

But suppose someone were to say, "Amos is a tit-faced abomination. He's as useless as six tits on a boar hog..."

THEN you would have cause to be offended!

Clear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 11:30 PM

Dear god, Little Hawk, you certainly do scuttle up to the top of the pole and back down again to the bottom. Never saw such a jackanapes for veering from the sublime to the ridiculous, sometimes within a single sentence. Anyway, I suppose you think the expression "useless as teats on a boar hog" is also disrespectful to our mammalian female companions? Do you think calling someone a dickhead is disrespectful to men in general, and males animals at large? How about referring to military entrenchments as breastworks? Insulting to the fairer sex? And who had the nerve to invent such terms as breast-stroke, breast-plate, breast-bone, breast-beating, breasted (as in tuft-breasted chickadees, obviously a slur on all sorts of "birds), and the powerful verb "to breast" as in tides, hills, streams, and so on? I think you have over-indulged in titaniferous fantasies fallacious, old friend. You're standing is tits-up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:43 PM

Trying go wiggle out of it, eh, Amos? I expected as much. I know perfectly well the popular common uses of the expression "tits up", and I have never liked it. I believe it impugns women and furthermore insults all creatures to some extent, animals included...with the possible exception of the Blue Tit and its close relatives in that particular family of birds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

When I worked for the Forest Service our fire fighting crew turned the term "tits up" into an art form. It was shortened to "TU" and was then eligible for any suitable saying we could fit to it.

Torn Up, Tires Up, Tits Up, etc. (I'm know there were more, but I don't remember them)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM

And I've been to Cork, Limerick, Galway, Dingle, Ardfert, Cobh, Kilkenny, Brandon, Youghal, Sligo, Swords, Gallerus, Ballintubber, Knock, and other places.

Maybe Belfast and up that way....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:13 PM

So, Mom. When I'm in Ireland next March where should I visit? We did Dublin this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 07:13 PM

Your blind ignorance is showing, Little Hawk. Most people know the expression to "go tits up" refers to the death of a four-legged animal, not a biped. Your defense of the brave Italians is honorable, and probably no more true than the implication they were generally unbrave. I imagine the distribution curve was about the same as that of the English or the Americans, for that matter. ANd let there be no mistake, I was simply referring to Rapaire's back-pedaling, not impugning him for cowardice. I would not ever imply such a thing, me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 06:58 PM

What's his score for the NYCFTTS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM

So, Amos, I see you are perpetuating the tired old myths about the supposed cowardice of Italian fighting men in WWII (who were just as courageous as most other soldiers, but who fought under the handicap of having equipment utterly inadequate in either the modernity or the necessary quantities to be competitive). They lacked tanks with sufficient gun power or armour...no amount of courage gets you out of that hole. They lacked ships with radar...thus they got repeatedly blindsided by the British. They lacked a naval air force (no aircraft carriers), thus were rendered effectively blind and helpless at sea against a British navy well equipped with aircraft carriers. They did NOT lack courageous soldiers, as evidenced by the superb courage of the Italian air squadrons and many other Italian units who fought bravely under the most desperate conditions.

The British did such a great job fashioning the popular myth of the cowardly Italian forces during the war that it is believed to this day. Nice propaganda work on the part of Whitehall, but not true. What defeated the Italians on the battlefield was having inadequate equipment and not nearly enough of it.

And that's not all, Amos. May I point out that your use of the word "tits" makes your sexist tendencies abundantly clear, and that your chances of securing a fellowship at the WSSBA are dwindling away to practically nothing at this point. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:42 PM

The Rubicon isn't all it is cracked up to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:26 PM

One speed forward and three to go in reverse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:11 PM

I used to be an Italian tank. That was in a previous existence. I was a C1 Ariete, complete with 120mm gun and everything. Unfortunately, I couldn't swim the Rubicon and now here I am.

How did you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:02 PM

You remind me of an Italian tank.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 03:24 PM

I kinda doubt that he has me outgunned...he's too much of a weenie. But he's our weenie -- sort of like Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 01:48 PM

OBama, my dear Closet 'Publican, has you outsmarted, out-organized, out-thunk, out-talked, out-manuvered, and out-gunned.

Roll over and stick your tits up, there's a dear lad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 01:47 PM

Who's the one whose got the SPINE
25 of Kay and Nine!
Who's the one who slings the weight?
Obam! 2008!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 01:38 PM

Obama is a weenie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM

AaaaHA! Rapaire has been caught trafficking in foreign currencies to the detriment of America@!!!!!

Why do you hate America, Rapaire?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 01:22 PM

10,080 nickels.

So far.

Not counting dimes, quarters, dollars, pennies, checks, and coins from various furrin kuntrees, like Canada and Indonesia and Poland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 12:50 PM

Hmmm. Well, that was a complete washout, wasn't it? I suspected as much. Too bad, Amos. Better luck next time, I guess. ;-)

Watch for my next pop quiz on the MOABS and be ready with your answers to score big rewards!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 12:21 PM

Talk about exercises in futility!! There are two of them right in a row--researching Rapaire's breakfasts for Mom and haring after Little Hawks off-putting awards.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 11:18 AM

Okay, quick...name the 12 battleships that served in the Japanese navy in WWII and group them chronologically, according to their class. That is, list them in the order of their historical appearance, in terms of their class, but not down to each individual vessel.

Anyone who can do this in the next 90 seconds (following this post) without looking it up on the internet gets an autographed photo of William Shatner and a kiss from my dachshund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 11:11 AM

15 Dec 07 - 09:18 AM (#2215883)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

..But here are some nice raspberry muffins, a cheese omelet, and a cup of coffee made from freshly roasted and ground Jamaica Blue Mountain beans. The butter is home churned from good cream, too. There's Demarara sugar for your coffee and some of that good heavy cream over there. Oh, the toast is home-made sourdough bread! ...

19 Nov 06 - 09:48 AM (#1888244)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

Welcome to November 19, Ma. Have a cuppa. It's Jamaica Blue Mountain, which I picked, roasted, and burr-ground myself just for you. The cream is from that small herd over near Camp, County Kerry, and that's Demarara sugar, of course. Of course, I used water from small spring outside Burton, Illinois -- the one where all the watercress grows, you'll remember -- and after gently filtering it through pure white sand I used ultraviolet light to kill any possible germs. Oh, and I made the scones myself, grinding the flour from that hard wheat they grow over in the Arbon Valley and using the raspberries from my backyard. I baked them in the brick oven after it had been heated with well-seasoned white oak. Of course, the butter's from that same herd and I churned it myself, cooling it in the springhouse.



05 Dec 06 - 09:49 PM (#1901232)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

Ah, Mom. No one seems to care but me. Here's some dinner -- freshly made biscuits, real butter, braised yak in a Guinness sauce, glazed carrots and parsnips a l'orange, garlic potatoes, and for dessert, a lovely angelica mousse followed by apples, walnuts and stilton with a nice port. I think that this beaujolais will be a great accompaniment to the entree, too. Of course, there's freshly ground and made Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee, demarra sugar, and heavy cream if you'd like it.


05 Dec 06 - 10:22 PM (#1901250)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage

I believe you've served up this meal before, Rapaire.


14 Oct 05 - 09:17 AM (#1582997)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

Fair day to you, good Mother! Wouldst like a cup of tea upon arising? Perhaps some toast and marmalade to begin, with a brekky of scrambled eggs with oak-smoked salmon from the lochs of Scotland, fried Black Klimt tomatoes, and a touch of freshly made hashbrowns?

Oatmeal from pinhead oats on the side? Brown or Demarara sugar? Heavy cream or milk?

Jamaica Blue Mountain or pure Kona or Kenya AA coffee to finish? Sugar? Cream?



List not complete, but exemplary samples of prior art which clearly demonstrate that earlier claims to the same intellectual property have been made. IT must be noted that the accused, one Rapaire, posiong as an information specialist in charge of a midwestern library, has actually found time to post to this thread alone some 6,269 times since 12 May 2003.

\A


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 11:10 AM

That sounds like a smart strategic move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:54 AM

I'm just going to call Rapaire "Martha" from now on. Or not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:03 AM

He must keep them in a file, then, because going back to find any of those gems again is more work than just rewriting it.

I wonder, though--if those 1000 monkeys with 1000 typewriters might cranks out a heckuva lot of MOAB posts on their way to generating one Shakespeare play? And some of them MIGHT be repeats. Know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:50 AM

Hardly original. The notorious lifter of words is now blatantly stealing from his own work! How dastardly and low. IF we're going to start re-using sections of the MOAB which bear repeating, we'll break 30 K before Christmas!





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:44 AM

The eggs aren't the only thing brown in that last post, Rap. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:36 AM

Good morning, mater dear. I see the others have let you slide, slide, slide. Well, as you know I've been working around the yard Saturday and Sunday and couldn't do much. But the lawn is cut, the weeds are pulled, the cart is put up, the chain saw is going in for servicing, and the cart tires are going in for repair. The bushes are pruned, and while there are finishing touches to be done Ol' Man Winter could come today and we'd be okay.

I am, of course, all stiff and sore but helping YOU up is far, far more important than my own comfort. Here's a nice cup of Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee -- I roasted and ground the beans just for you. And do try some of these huckleberry muffins; I grew and milled the wheat myself and collected the eggs from free range hens (they are all brown eggs, of course). And the butter is hand-churned, I put it into the little plastic tub so that the tub would be reused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 03:19 PM

Hi Mom,

Just got back from a trip to West Virginia to see the folks. It was a bee-you-tee-ous drive home through the mountains of West Virginia and Virginia. Blue sky, cool weather, the trees at their fall peak in the higher elevations, and every stage of getting to their peak on the way up into the mointains and then back down again to the Peidmont. Every shade there is between wine red and yellow.

There be lots of species of poppies. Pretty flowers are ever legit in a gardener's garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 02:15 PM

I thought she was a psychology counselor type--did she jump into law enforcement?

Ya know I get a little nervous at all these confident predictions that Obama will sweep the election. The Electoral Snake has more damn twists and humps in it than a rabid boa constrictor with appendicitis.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 01:26 PM

Ask Janie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 12:57 PM

Poppies?

Are they legal?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 12:36 PM

Whew! Just finished listening to the Sunday morning slug-fest McLaughlin Group. I don't usually listen, but today it was interesting. They concede the election to Obama and are watching the local races.

Gotta do some gardening, MOM. Janie sent me some poppy seeds and I'm working on a new bed where I'll put iris rhizomes from my neighbor (she weeded out blue iris and I didn't have any) and I'll sprinkle poppy seeds in the same area to see if they both come up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 12:13 PM

Nah, I have been lazing it this morning. Had a lovely Chinese Dinner with friends at Jasmine's on Convoy Street last night, and the main dining room was completely leased out to a massive Chinese wedding. It was most beautiful and impressive to watch from the sidelines, in between courses of lettuce-wraps and sweet-and-sour in the next room. THe bride was stunningly beautiful.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 09:37 AM

Hey MOM, it's a pretty morning! I bet that Amos snuck off with his kayak and forgot to bring you a cuppa tea and a muffin. Here you go--blueberry, they just came out of the oven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 08 - 09:33 PM

Wouldn't it be great if Mudcat could contribute to build one of those schools? We're probably talking in the hundreds of dollars. And we wouldn't need to be secretive, like when we bought Art's computer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 08 - 12:33 PM

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/10242008/watch3.html

This was absolutely awesome, Still. Thanks.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 08 - 11:07 AM

Hey MOM, get up! I want you to watch this segment of Bill Moyer's Journal from last night. Stick with it--after the first few minutes he really gets to the point--music.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 08 - 12:16 AM

I notice that khandu was visiting Mudcat this evening. Posted on another thread. Do you suppose he'd come visit MOM, his creation?


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