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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 04 Jan 08 - 08:53 PM
Janie 04 Jan 08 - 08:39 PM
Amos 04 Jan 08 - 07:50 PM
Janie 04 Jan 08 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 08 - 05:30 PM
MMario 04 Jan 08 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 08 - 04:16 PM
Amos 04 Jan 08 - 04:08 PM
Amos 04 Jan 08 - 02:15 PM
Acme 04 Jan 08 - 01:49 PM
Amos 04 Jan 08 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 08 - 09:28 AM
MMario 04 Jan 08 - 08:37 AM
Amos 04 Jan 08 - 03:09 AM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 09:49 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jan 08 - 08:59 PM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 08:53 PM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 08 - 05:41 PM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 08 - 02:19 PM
MMario 03 Jan 08 - 01:26 PM
beardedbruce 03 Jan 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 01:05 PM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 03 Jan 08 - 11:38 AM
MMario 03 Jan 08 - 11:35 AM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 11:33 AM
Little Hawk 03 Jan 08 - 11:28 AM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 10:41 AM
MMario 03 Jan 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 08 - 09:29 AM
Amos 03 Jan 08 - 09:12 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 08 - 08:54 AM
Acme 03 Jan 08 - 01:44 AM
Janie 02 Jan 08 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 08 - 11:12 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 08 - 10:32 PM
Amos 02 Jan 08 - 10:28 PM
Amos 02 Jan 08 - 08:34 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 08 - 06:29 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 08 - 06:13 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 08 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 08 - 05:18 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 08 - 04:45 PM
Amos 02 Jan 08 - 04:23 PM
Acme 02 Jan 08 - 04:10 PM
Amos 02 Jan 08 - 04:00 PM
Acme 02 Jan 08 - 01:02 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 08:53 PM

DeGaulle and Pompadour both stayed there? Little hanky-panky, huh? Oolala, those French!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 08:39 PM

Can you even begin to imagine what the heating bill runs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 07:50 PM

Dream Big to get BEtter.

Here's another friend's version of A Better Way. Watch the photos go by....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 07:32 PM

Yes. There Is a Better Way


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 05:30 PM

Instead they gave me good looks, talent, great intelligence and the other tools needed to succeed in life.

You're just jealous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 04:33 PM

If you had chosen your parants more carefully before birth you'd be independently wealthy; so , yes, there is a better way, but you mucked it up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 04:16 PM

Why Should There Be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 04:08 PM

As I again approach the end of a Friday at work, and look forward to another two days of relatively self-determined, relaxing activities, in which my spirit can rejoice in its own creativity and the tasks of ordinary life are not a burden, I am again led to consider whether I would be a happier, more extroverted, more contirbuting person in the world if I were not constrained by regular employment.

This returns me to the Mother of All Questions, which I again present before you, Brothers and Sisters of the MOAB, for due reflection and consideration, and probably another crop of weisenheimer smart-aleck replies:



Is There a Better Way   ?   ?   ?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 02:15 PM

See? It is happening already!!! Cosmic Wisdom, I mean....




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 01:49 PM

Hey, MOM! It's Friday!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 10:34 AM

THere have been very few observations of current activity on Mars, so I can only assume that Carter and Thoris have slipped into a parallel timestream until a more opportune portal opens up; but the Elders of Mars, the Ancient Ones, have never needed to shift continuua, and their time sense is so much deeper and slower than ours that all of our pinging on their planet since 1900 is of little more import to them than a fly's buzz during a siesta. A meteor, though, might draw some of that unfathomably deep and wise reservoir of Cosmic Attention back to the physical planet and its environs, and if that happens, we may be in for some really remarkable developments, no mistake...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 09:28 AM

Yeah, and I'll bet she'd be some upset if John Carter got scarred up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 08:37 AM

As long as Dejah Thoris isn't hit! Be a shame to scar that lovely body.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 03:09 AM

I see where the sky-boys are anxiously waiting to see whether or not a meteror slams into Mars this month....


It would be grand if such a thing happened and it stirred up the Ancient Ones....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 09:49 PM

Actually, some Chinese can, and some -- nptably those from Formosa, cannot seem to do so well at all.


And so with only one post more,
We've reached another Golden Shore
Where waters run and BS roars
At 21 of K and 4.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 08:59 PM

Geez...! You better watch out, Amos.   ;-)

The main thing wrong with that joke is this: the Chinese cannot pronounce "R"'s in words. It's the Japanese or the Koreans who tend to use that inflection that is crudely indicated in your joke's dialogue...because they CAN pronounce "R"'s just fine, but they have a lot of trouble with the "L" sound...and tend to convert it into an "R" sound, as in your joke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 08:53 PM



The story concerns a veteran pilot named Rosenberg, who was assigned a green co-pilot on a commercial passenger flight. The co-pilot was Taiwanese. They went through the pre-flight and did all the correct things, but there was no chemistry between them, and once they got aloft and on course there was a long silence. FInally the captain spoke up and said, "Ya know, I don't much like Chinese people.".

The co-pilot, shocked, replied, "Huh!! Why not like Chinese peopre?"

"The Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor!"

"That not right!! It was JAPanese who bomb Pearr Harbor, not Chinese!!!"

"Ahhh, Chinese, Japanese, they're all the same to me."

They lapsed back into a distinctly chill silence as the big plane cruised through the night.

Finally the co-pilot spoke up.

"You know, me not rike Jewish peoprr!"

"Oh, yeah?" replies the pilot. "What'samattah you, you don't like Jewish people?"

"Jewish peoprr sink Titanic!!"

"You're crazy!! The Jewish people didn't sink the Titanic!! The Titanic hot a damn iceberg!!"

"Ahhhh, iceberg, Greenberg, alla same mee!!"



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 07:44 PM

From another idiot in the world,m this tale:

"I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck......... "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 05:41 PM

Did the co-pilot Taiwan on before flying or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 02:56 PM

Remind me to tell you about the airline pilot who had a new co-pilot from Taiwan. Someday.....mwAHahahaha...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 02:19 PM

I think that the FIC's hairstyle was supposed to be something like the tradition hairstyle worn by Navajo men -- even though the FIC was supposed to be an Apache.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:26 PM

Unstoppable, that's MOM all right!

You'd think she'd slow down occasionally and relax over a cup of tea, or some good single malt - but no - she always has to be up and about - spreading BS thoughout the land, the oceans, the airwaves.

Dedication is her middle name.

or would be if she had one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:12 PM

thread.cfm?threadid=92425&messages=84


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:05 PM

We are only ten more posts away
From the churning thunder roar
Where the Mighty MOAB thread
Will move to 21-and-4.

Do not doubt, she will not stop,
She the Dreadnought in the storm,
She the force that will not yield,
She, unstoppable, is Mom.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 11:55 AM

I think he got that hairdo from Olive Oyl, liberally applied. Popeye never forgave her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 11:38 AM

He would bloody well HAVE to leave town, I should think. I mean, you wouldn't want to come back and face those other cowpokes after yelling something like that.

Anyone else notice that Tonto had a most peculiar hairdo that looked sort of like something Olive Oyle might have opted for if she was dressing up for the New Years Party?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 11:35 AM

But he yelled it as he was LEAVING town - so they wouldn't have the chance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 11:33 AM

Well, depends on the town, I guess. You recall that one of Bugs Bunny's undying regrets was not having turned left at Albuquerque...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 11:28 AM

Any cowboy who really went around yelling "Hi-Yo, Silver, AWAYYYY...." would have been laughed out of town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 10:41 AM

Sure, and the very same! Also intrepid pioneers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 10:25 AM

Lois and Clark? The famous reporter and her kryptonian sidekick?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 10:13 AM

Rapaire, clearly we are re-inventing the medium, and we can borrow TJATAW from Lois and Clark, the intrepid pioneers, and use it to provide background hubris for TLR and Williwaw, his faithful Indian companion.

However I think I see the future: in 2009's series, Brokeback Ranger, the sidekick is affectiionately called Skookums, for reasons that develop in the third through tenth episiodes...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 09:29 AM

I thought Superman was "truth, justice, and the American way" and the Lone Ranger was "...and a hearty 'Hi-ho, Silver!'...."

(We always thought that shouting "Hi-ho, Silver!" was like yelling "Tally ho! The fox!" and wasn't quite, well, comme il faut for a two-gun cowboy.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 09:12 AM

"A mysterious masked lawman who, accompanied by his Faithful Indian Companion, Williwa, rides the plains in defense of truth, justice, and the American way!". Que es tonto, no? Ai, mi pobricita mama!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 08:54 AM

How about "chinook" or "williwa"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:44 AM

Don't go trying to substitute that fine Northwestern word skookum for the name of the Lone Ranger's side kick. It isn't a word that would rest lightly on an individual in the American Southwest.

Many fine creeks and rivers and even mountains have the name "chuck" in them. I climbed Pilchuck many times, to many to count, and Pilchuck creek comes off of it. Hyakchuck creek is up near the Whitechuck River in the Darrington area (near Dakhobed, also called Glacier Peak). It is redundant to say "Whitechuck River," and most of us were aware of it. Like saying Mount Fujiyama. It's either Mt. Fuji or Fujiyama because "yama" is mountain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 11:20 PM

The better way from Wilmington to Hillsborough to I-40.   

Assuming you're in a hurry, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 11:12 PM

There is no "Shane," skookum or otherwise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 10:32 PM

And Shane is the most skookum of hosers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 10:28 PM

Mom is definitely the most skookum of threads.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 08:34 PM

Skookum is itself a heap skookum word, n'est-ce pas?

"... meanings from "'good,' to 'strong,' 'best,' 'powerful,' 'ultimate' and 'first rate.' Something can be skookum meaning 'cool' or skookum can be 'tough.' A skookum burger is a big (or really tasty) hamburger, but when your Mom's food is skookum, it's delicious but also hearty [...] When you're skookum, you've got a purpose and you're on solid ground."

Being called skookum may also mean that someone can be counted on as reliable and hard-working, or is big and strong. In a perhaps slightly less positive vein, skookum house means jail or prison, cf. the English euphemism "the big house" but here meaning "strong house". Skookum tumtum, lit. "strong heart", is generally translated as "brave" or possibly "good-hearted". In the Chinook Jargon, skookum is also used as a verb auxiliary, as in "can" or "to be able". Another compound, though fallen out of use in modern BC English, is skookum lacasset", or strongbox.

A related word "skookumchuck" means turbulent water or rapids in a stream or river, i.e. "strong water" ("chuck" is Chinook Jargon for "water" or "stream" or "lake"). There are three placenames in British Columbia using this word, one of them for a famous saltwater rapid at the mouth of Sechelt Inlet, the others at rapids on the Lillooet and Columbia Rivers."

A better way! A more skookum way!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 06:29 PM

The reason the FIC is there at all...the reason ANY faithful sidekick is there as an assistant to the main heroic character of the tale...is this: it is a device which permits the main character to get into many desperate situations where the sidekick can rescue him...or vice versa. It allows for more complex plot permutations than a story about a character entirely on his own.

It also provides lots of scope for plenty of cool scenes and dialogue involving UIP.

"My head is aching and I keep hearing a strange ringing in my ears, Tonto."

"Ugh. That because you gottum arrow through head from last ambush, kimosave..."

"What kind of arrow is it, Tonto?"

"It be Apache arrow, Kimosave. Woolworth's brand. You want me pull-um out?"

"No, Tonto. No. I am one who has always been willing to sacrifice comfort for style. Hi-Yo Silver...AWAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 06:13 PM

Chingo?

I always wondered about Tonto -- he saves the life of the Lone Ranger so he gets to be the second fiddle? Right...........

By the way, when the English reached Jamestown the Indians of the Virginia coast, all along the Atlantic coast north from Florida in fact, were fairly well acquainted with the English, Spanish and French. A little MORE acquaintance and less liberal immigration policy on the part of the Indians and things might have turned out a bit differently from what they did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 05:51 PM

Thanks for the fascinating info, Rapaire. It's remarkable to think of North American Indians spending years living in England or Europe in the 1500's...then going back to tell the other Indians what they saw there. Boy, it must have been some culture shock!

Knowing Spanish rather well, I was amused for years that the FIC in the Lone Ranger stories was called "Tonto". I always wondered how they marketed those same characters in the Spanish-speaking world, as they must have done. They simply could not have called that character "Tonto" in a Spanish-language culture. It would have been totally ridiculous. I think they probably changed his name to something else instead, and if so....to what???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 05:18 PM

LH, it was a skookum word in the lingua franca of Indian-White trade.

However...remember that Indians had been visiting and living in Europe from about 1493 on and by the time Jamestown was settled in 1607 there were Indians living in Virginia that had spent literally YEARS in England and elsewhere in Europe.

Moreover, there were Europeans -- often young boys -- who spent time with the Indians.

Read "The Jamestown Project" for more information on this.

(Know why the Lone Ranger was shot by his Faithful Indian companion? Because the FIC found out what "Tonto" meant. [Please note that it requires somewhat of a Spanish vocabulary to get this.])


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 04:45 PM

Me think UIP heap good! All Injuns in-um Hollywood speak-um UIP in 1930s, 40s, 50s. Everybody know that. It be Universal Code for-um different tribes so nobody get-um confused and not know what other guy mean when talk. It take-um heap dumb person to question elegant UIP language system that gettum universal acceptance with Metro-Goldwyn Mayer AND Cecil B. De Mille AND all other big studios.

Such political radical people be-um main reason for failure and decline of-um western movies at box office. Heap BAD medicine!

What be-um derivation of word "heap" anyway? Anybody know? Where "heap" come from?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 04:23 PM

Where did the "hamstrung linguistic nonsense" come from?

You mean to tell me that the Shawnee, Blackfoot, Seminole, Arapahoe, Apache, Creek, Crow, Dakota, Cherokee,Cheyenne, Chickasaw, Chinook. Chippewa (Ojibwa), Choctaw, Coeur d'Alene, Kickapoo, Kiowa, Monhegan, Klallam, Klamath, and Iroquois didn't all speak Universal Indian Pidgin (UIP)??

I am absolutely stunned at this revelation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 04:10 PM

Did you hear the narration provided by N. Scott Momaday on one of the PBS history series of the last decade? I think it was The West or maybe The Remembered Earth (these two come up in a quick search). Puts to rest all of that hamstrung linguistic nonsense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 04:00 PM

Ambiguity heap good--make white boy spend dough like water...no tolerance for uncertainty in white man's head.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 08 - 01:02 PM

Northern Exposure did a pretty good job of debunking that hackneyed figure. It took a lot to get past skinny old Italian guys in black wigs canoeing around North America crying over trash.


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