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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Mar 06 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 06 - 05:43 PM
John MacKenzie 02 Mar 06 - 04:52 PM
MMario 02 Mar 06 - 04:00 PM
Acme 02 Mar 06 - 03:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 06 - 03:41 PM
Amos 02 Mar 06 - 02:48 PM
John MacKenzie 02 Mar 06 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 06 - 12:32 PM
Amos 02 Mar 06 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 06 - 09:09 AM
John MacKenzie 02 Mar 06 - 09:04 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 06 - 08:20 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Mar 06 - 06:52 PM
Amos 01 Mar 06 - 06:19 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Mar 06 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 06 - 04:12 PM
MMario 01 Mar 06 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 01 Mar 06 - 03:07 PM
MMario 01 Mar 06 - 02:42 PM
Acme 01 Mar 06 - 02:40 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Mar 06 - 11:35 AM
MMario 01 Mar 06 - 11:31 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM
Acme 01 Mar 06 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 06 - 09:17 AM
John MacKenzie 01 Mar 06 - 09:17 AM
Amos 01 Mar 06 - 09:13 AM
Acme 01 Mar 06 - 01:54 AM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 07:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 06 - 05:17 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 02:34 PM
Acme 28 Feb 06 - 01:49 PM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 12:39 PM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 06 - 12:31 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 12:30 PM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 09:48 AM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 08:44 AM
JennyO 28 Feb 06 - 08:22 AM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 08:20 AM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 01:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 06 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 07:50 PM

In other news of note, two items qualify for this highest of shrines:

1. Several groups around the world have now gained ethical approval to develop implants that monitor and control the behaviour of animals, from sharks and tuna to rats and monkeys. A team funded by the US military even claim to have created a neural probe that will be able to manipulate a shark's brain signals or decode them to tell us more about how the animals interact with the world. More controversially, the Pentagon hope to use remote-controlled sharks as stealth spies, exploiting their ability to move quietly through water, , sense delicate electrical gradients and follow chemical trails.

So now the millitary will be operating sharks. How d'ye like THEM apples?

2. The Onion's obsession with Cow Abduction has been inerrupted by a more pressing querstion for those of you who have a cat, or two, or more: Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?.

Only in America.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 05:43 PM

I lived very near to Akron, Ohio when I lived in Ohio. In fact, I took classes at the U. of Akron and my wife got her law degree there. Akron is okay, except for the time that Geraldo Rivera chased a pimp through the streets. They have a HUGE dirigible hanger in Akron. And no, they no longer make lots of tires (or tyres) there -- I'm not sure that they make any at all, actually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 04:52 PM

Well there must be some connection between the wheel of life and the Firestone Tyre Company as this too is in Akron Ohio. Maybe there's something circular about Akron!

Round Round git around I git around ♪ ♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 04:00 PM

I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 03:58 PM

The answer is "42." And don't forget your towel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 03:41 PM

The Great Wheel of Life was manufactured by the Edward F. Life Wheel Compmany of Akron, Ohio in 1867. To all outward appearances, there is nothing special about The Great Wheel of Life. It looks exactly like this. In fact, it appears to be nothing more than a rather fancy cast aluminum wheel for an electric golfcart. What make the Wheel unique is that neither the electric golfcart nor the process for extracting aluminum from bauxite would be perfected for at least another fifty years.

The Great Wheel of Life received its name when the engineers who developed it presented it to company patriarch E. F. Life, who took one look at it and said, "Great. So it's a fancy little wheel. What the fuck can you do with it?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 02:48 PM

The Great Wheel of Life is the endless cycle of birth, growth, decline, death and birth on which we seem to endlessly rotate. A common figure in Buddhist and some Sanskrit literature, as I recall.

Penetrated mysteries, Rapaire? You sure you don't mean mystresses? I only ask because, while penetrating mystresses tends to make a man feel proud (until apprehended), penetrating mysteries has quite the opposite effect, I am told.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 12:52 PM

Wheels of Death or Juggernaut is the chariot driven by Krishna, under the wheels of which he used to crush unbelievers, surely there must be an equivalent for the Wheel of Life.
Or is it the Carousel of Time which Joni Mitchell thinks we are all captured on?
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 12:32 PM

I have penetrated said mysteries (which aren't all that mysterious). Long ago I learned The Answers to The Questions.

As for the Great Wheel of Life, I think from the ride it's got a flat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 10:02 AM

I tis well known, good Rapaire, that you hold your own thoughts in much higher esteem than those of others. But I assure you, neiother yours nor ours are particularly original. This will e come more clear to you as you continue topenetrate the Profound Mysteries of the Wheel of Life.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 09:09 AM

Mom told me that she likes it a lot better than that spoiled haggis you brought her yesterday! And she said that the tea tasted like soap too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 09:04 AM

You know she prefers Colombian Fair Trade coffee, and she can't have cinnamon since her operation for her hiatus hernia.
What an ungrateful child!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM

Good morning, dear Mother! I see that you've had a good sleep over over twelve hours. I supposed that since I last posted to you no one has had a thought, but that's understandable. Sometimes I think that I'm the last person in the world with original thoughts. Anyway, here's your breakfast -- homemade cinnamon rolls, freshly brewed Kenya AA coffee, the works. Eat hearty, have a good morning, and I'll be back later to see you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 08:20 PM

Today's porringer, tomorrow's antique.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 06:52 PM

Today's derringer tomorrow's hole in the head.
G ☺


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 06:19 PM

Yes, but....look on the bright side. Today's derring-do, tomorrow's news!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 04:16 PM

Today's news, tomorrow's doggy doo wrapping.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 04:12 PM

Yes, my mother used a lot of newspaper to train my siblings and myself.

That's why it's called "yellow journalism."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 03:56 PM

See, Amos! I *told* you he was paper trained!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 03:54 PM

That's why my desk is covered with...paper. Paper with writing on it, not, you know, "paper" (as in "Hey, we're out of paper!"). Although, some of it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 03:07 PM

Yeah, but sometimes you gotta wonder whether they got their basic definitions crossed up...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 02:42 PM

Have you ever had one of those days when you just finished a big project and thought you could relax a little, only to find that while you were racing to finish that very large project that a whole bunch of important little things gathered around on the corner of your desk and in your email and all of a sudden they're overdue or so close to due as to be as good as overdue?


Isn't that what they call "life"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 02:40 PM

Have you ever had one of those days when you just finished a big project and thought you could relax a little, only to find that while you were racing to finish that very large project that a whole bunch of important little things gathered around on the corner of your desk and in your email and all of a sudden they're overdue or so close to due as to be as good as overdue?

Bleh. It's one of those days here. I was going to take comp time, but now I find myself working a 12-hour day instead. (At least I got an "attaboy" from a coworker at work today, that was nice!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 11:35 AM

That's as broad a definition of 'quirk' as I've ever seen!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 11:31 AM

With a childhood like that no wonder you have a few "quirks" as an adult.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM

...but then, I was a perfect youth. I spent my youth in prayer, kneeling in church; in good works, taking baskets and a cheerful smile to shut-ins; in opposing Demon Rum, and in hymn-singing. My clothes were always neat and clean (albeit nicely patched) and my room, spartan and spare though it was, was always tidy and in good order. I would help with the dishes every meal, and my homework was always completed by 8 p.m. and I was asleep by 8:30 p.m. after having read a few pages of an uplifting and moral novel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:38 AM

If the reverse were true I imagine you'd have been wearing a shit-eating grin. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:17 AM

Whenever I was a little snot my mommy gave me a swipe across a part of me opposite to my face and lower down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:17 AM

Isn't Tequila traditionally drunk from snot glasses Bee Dubya?
You may take that remark with a pinch of salt, and a suck of lemon.
It'll stop you feeling lemoncholy!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:13 AM

Better at being snots. Not better at snot -- that is gender-independent, I am sure.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 01:54 AM

Much better at what? Snot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 07:55 PM

As a matter of fact, I believe they are MUCH better at it, when they set their mind to it; it is because they are more compassionate so they know where the hurtin' spots are! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 05:17 PM

I just misread a thread title as "Are women better snots than men?". Must be time for either new glasses or more mature humor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM

Mr Bates and his son Master Bates

The lunatic who broke into the asylum laundry, raped the laundress and made his escape.

It said in the paper next day................

Nut Screws Washer and Bolts.

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM

Come again?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:34 PM

He was probably akin to the midget spiritualist who broke out of jail, leading to the headline "Small Medium at Large".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 01:49 PM

Was he first cousin to Mr. Bigger whose baby son was a little bigger?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:39 PM

I once took a cruise on the good ship Deja Vu out across the Redundant Sea. The Captain was Captain Was. Peter P. Was, to give him his less formal name. Peter Peter, as he was known to his family back in Repeat, North Dakota.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:31 PM

You're all awash in a sea of redundancy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:30 PM

Hmmm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:22 PM

we seem to be entering the annual "silly season" where copycat threads proliferate at enormous rate - and trolls of many sorts abound.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM

Think? What is this "think?" I know drink, brink, clink, chink, tink, shrink, dink, stink, fink, kink, mink, rink, pink, sink, wink, hink, and ink, but what is this "think"???? Is it something I should do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:48 AM

Some roses have more pricks than others, and if life is just a bowl of cherries why do I get all the pits, what's more by the time the finger bowl gets to me there are none left.
We are snot amused a Vicky once said.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:42 AM

I didn't say that particular notion was new.

But what answers to the question "What do you think about?" might you have?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:44 AM

But life IS a bed of roses! Rooted in manure and covered with thorns!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:22 AM

Don't have any snot stew, but here's some Turd Snot Pie!

I haven't given it an intelligence test. What would the questions be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:20 AM

arrrgggggggkkkkk!

Now there's an image I didn't need - MOAB as the subject of Flaming Ted's dreams. *shudder*

Life's snot a bed of roses - or it would smell better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 01:57 AM

Only in Ted's dreams, man...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:51 PM

By the way, nobody mentioned that Mom got post #11400.

Way to go Mom!

Maybe Little Hawk's right and Mom is a fraud. Maybe she's really Flamingo Ted?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM

If it's not stew, what is it??? Chowder? Broth?


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