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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 01 Feb 06 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 10:03 PM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 09:41 PM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 09:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 06 - 09:35 PM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,khandu 01 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM
GUEST 01 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 06:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 06 - 06:02 PM
Acme 01 Feb 06 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 04:24 PM
MMario 01 Feb 06 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 03:57 PM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM
Acme 01 Feb 06 - 02:35 PM
Little Hawk 01 Feb 06 - 02:07 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Feb 06 - 02:03 PM
kindaloupehackenweez 01 Feb 06 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 12:03 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 06 - 10:57 AM
Kim C 01 Feb 06 - 10:38 AM
Acme 01 Feb 06 - 09:47 AM
MMario 01 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 09:29 AM
MMario 01 Feb 06 - 08:45 AM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 08:37 AM
MMario 01 Feb 06 - 08:30 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 06 - 08:23 AM
Amos 01 Feb 06 - 08:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 06 - 11:46 PM
Amos 31 Jan 06 - 11:32 PM
Acme 31 Jan 06 - 11:21 PM
kindaloupehackenweez 31 Jan 06 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,kindalupehackenweez 31 Jan 06 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 06 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 06 - 10:13 PM
Amos 31 Jan 06 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 06 - 05:15 PM
Amos 31 Jan 06 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 06 - 12:04 PM
Bunnahabhain 31 Jan 06 - 10:51 AM
MMario 31 Jan 06 - 10:23 AM
Acme 31 Jan 06 - 10:12 AM
Amos 31 Jan 06 - 10:11 AM
MMario 31 Jan 06 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 06 - 09:16 AM
Amos 30 Jan 06 - 07:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 10:41 PM

. . . mortar fit only to daub the walls of a jakes

I draw the line at outhouses. You guys, take your funky brickbats and shit mortar outside. No one wants to eat their bedtime snack and drink their chamomile tea with you two going hammer-and-tongs and abusing Shakespeare in the process. Geez, Louise. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 10:03 PM

Hey, man, no sweat, ya know? Let us indeed take up arms against this encroaching sea of troubles!

(Is one of the Catholic Church's Dioceses that is beset by lawsuits a "See of Troubles"????)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:57 PM

Ho, thou hast proved me wrong, thou tailor made heathen. Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! Thou   unbolted villain, paste of mortar fit only to daub the walls of a jakes with him.-you wagtail!

I forgive you your unseemly insertion, sir, as your breath is short and you are beset! Come, let me stand beside you and draw against these plagued Robitussians! To arms, as comrades of Terra!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:51 PM

An alien abduction? Me? Can't be! I simply don't have a thing to wear! I mean, whatever would I bring to such an event? My smallsword? A tinfoil hat? My trumpet? And would I need a warm coat, or just a light jacket? Will I be allowed to leave a note for my wife about where I'm going and when I can be expected back? And I really SHOULD tell them at work, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:41 PM

Why, good Amos, thou dost mistake me! Might I suggest that thou lookest to King Lear, Act II, Scene II, by one William Shakespeare, late playwright and actor of London? Invective written by one far more capable than a mere automaton or even by myself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:38 PM

At least the Robitussians will let him get a good night's sleep. Their national anthem includes the undying couplet:

Robitussia! Robitussia!
For never the cough shall carry us off,
No matter the coffin they carry us off in...
.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:35 PM

Is Rapaire going to be abducted by aliens? Are they going to be Romilarians or Robitussians? I certainly hope it's not going to be the Mentholyptusians! I don't even want to talk about them! Shudder! Gasp!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:03 PM

Just one small correction, good friend; you responded by invoking a mindless and intentionless on-line Elizabethan Insult algorithm, a piece of oxymoronic artificial intelligence that ended up being artificial, but unintelligent.

I note with care that you have not spoken to the point I raised about your alteration of the Bard, costing his precious line all sense. Instead, you unleashed this synthetic hurricane of lazy insults borrowed from a cheap software machine, and then proceeded to assert the reverse of all actuality, by claiming erudition for yourself and seeking -- most unjudiciously -- to impugn and saddle me with your own acts of calumny.

You are, sir, but a poor mirror of a man, a shadow of a soul, a thin stream of badly-reflected smoke among the gracious trees of fine thought. Go to.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM

that was me.

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM

I'd miss Rapaire if he were abducted by aliens

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 06:52 PM

As I have so cogently explained, there is no problem or argument. Amos has called my erudition into question, and I have responded with the reasoned argument and quiet dignity that befits me. He, on the other hand, has resorted to name-calling, falsehoods, and outright untruths and slanders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 06:02 PM

Look, all of you, if you're going to be petty and pedantic pains in the neck, then don't get it right first time. What's the point in settling something straight off when we can argue all week about it? Or is that just conspiring to make MOAB even longer?

Now have I suceeded in annoying everyone by putting an excessivly long and well padded piece of text in a hard to read HTML effect. I sure hope so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 05:30 PM

Er, Amos. . .

"neener, neener, neener", as befits the circumstances.

Really, now. That should be "neener, neener, neener," etc.

If you're going to get picayunish, punctuate it correctly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 04:24 PM

Nah, he's okay, for a benighted jackanapes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 04:10 PM

FIGHT!





Amos and Rapaire are having a fight!



FIGHT!



FIGHT!

what a minute - we went through all this just this mornig, didn't we... right - I'll scream "Fight!" and then Amos will come on and deny it - the Rapaire will insult him again, and I'll yell "Fight! Fight!" - but Amos will claim , nonononono, he and Rap never fight...


I'll get me coat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 03:57 PM

Amos! Thou callest me ignorant? Youknave, you rascal, you are an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and who art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch! Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou!. What a brazen-faced varlet, to so insult me! You rogue, you whoreson, cullionly, barber-monger! You rascal, you puppet's part, you neat slave, you whoreson zed! You unnecessary letter! You unbolted villain, you paint for the wall of a jakes, you wagtail!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM

The alteration of Shakespeare, dear Sir, was yours, and with that tiny alteration, you unleashed a plethora of error in meaning.

Observe that in the Bard's orignal context, the line spoken is:

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true.

Which you revised in your transcription to the much less grammatical:

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis 'tis true. .

My correction of which stands firm.

The original line would be construed to read, if expanded, "...and pity it is it is true" (the 'that' being implicit between first "is" and second "it".)

But not your version, which cannot be so construed because you added the definite article "the" before the noun "pity".

One can only conclude, having been through this brief but precise analysis, that you should be advised in proportion to your small but powerful slip, "neener, neener, neener", as befits the circumstances.

I remain, Sir, your humble and obednt Srvnt,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 02:35 PM

It's a pleasure to be able to visit Mom so easily, and I was mostly planning on taking a gander and leaving again, but then my ear was assailed with audible BS from the radio. From the BBC, of all things.

We used to have a wonderful talk show host here in the Fort Worth and Dallas area, Glenn Mitchell, who had a two hour program at noon for the last 10 years. Glenn died suddenly right before Thanksgiving (he was 55). The station has floundered to not only fill the time, but fill it with something comparable, a very tough thing to do. The first hour is a talk show, but the second is this goofy BBC stuff, called "Outlook," consisting of far too many trite and insipid conversations. Right now they are discussing why women shave their armpits. They've had such lightweight stuff as the marriage between first cousins of the Pakistani population in the U.K., chat with loopy stars and local folks who became celebrities for inane reasons. Now this is worthy of being called BS, but in a dismissive way. It's lower-case bs.

Just venting. Back to your regular high-quality material. Maybe we'll even see BWL here more often now for some wonderfully warped renditions of life in and around his downed timber!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 02:07 PM

Still here, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 02:03 PM

Amos it's for yoohoo!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 01:59 PM

Thank you Amos and Stilly River Sage:

lch liebe dich is german for lch love you. Thankyou's you "cats" are so helpful.

At about 11:30 last night FINIALLY found a great translation sight:

http://freetranslation.imtranslator.net/

I was awaken this morning at 4:30 by the sound of a dog barking outside my window above mainstreet in town. Opening the blinds to discover a freshly fallen shroud of snow covering my pickup parked on the street in front of the building i live in. And a Park Rapids Patrol car in front of my truck. I turn on the scanner to hear my resistration and name replied by disspatch.
   They were going to have it towed to impound for the being parked in a snow removal zone. Which extends from 2:00 to 5:00.
   There was 2 -2 1/2 inches of snow at most.
   Just the same didnt want to take the chance and proceed getting dressed and sloth like mossey out to brush the snow from the windshield.
   Yet the city patrolman sits and watches and after a bit. Drives slowly off with that look on his face.
   "Damit, just one more minute and we'd of had another 40 bucks for our dounut and coffee fund.
    I grin and wave as he proceeds on by. Thinking "Jerome, bad Karma's going to come down on you for thinking that". Oh well...
In a way it made my day thou. And yes i know next time i may sleep thru it and wont be so lucky. And then i'll pay.. But until then all you "Cats".
Have a wounderful day..peace...

kindaloupehackenweez


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 12:03 PM

Good Amos! I prithee, forebear thy criticism and brush up your Shakespeare! Specifically, The Tragical History of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, Act II, Scene II, where Polonius is telling Gerty of the reason (in his opinion) for Hamlet's madness:

Pol. Madam, I swear I use no art at all.        
That he is mad, 'tis true; 'tis true 'tis pity,        
And pity 'tis 'tis true.
A foolish figure!              
But farewell it, for I will use no art.        
Mad let us grant him then; and now remains        
That we find out the cause of this effect,        
Or rather say, the cause of this defect,              
For this effect defective comes by cause.        
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.        
Perpend.         
I have a daughter - have whilst she is mine -              
Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,        
Hath given me this. Now gather, and surmise. [Reads] the letter.        
"To the celestial and my soul's idol, the most beautified Ophelia,"        
That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; "beautified" is a vile phrase. But you shall hear. Thus:              
"In her excellent white bosom, these."


I apologize for the inexactness of my quotation, but I felt that you of all people would recognize the words of The Bard of Avon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 10:57 AM

Don't worry, we all do that. Normally with pointless HTML...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 10:38 AM

I don't have anything to say. I just wanted to post to this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:47 AM

You can give them a dope-slap anyway, Mmario, but they might put itching powder in your bag wig in retaliation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM

ratz!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 09:29 AM

Dearest MMArio:

There is no such thing. I have every respect for the man. He is rich in reference, heady in erudition, quick in quotation, wallowing in wisdom and up to his ears in pith. I have nothing but the greatest affection for him, our own Uberbookenmeister, the Mudcat's favorite information-head, a gentleman, a scholar, an upright citizen several times a week, a man of taste, clarity, distinction and eloquence.

Rapaire and I are kindred souls, and the only reason we occasionally spark (never "fight") is that we are too alike.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:45 AM

FIGHT!



Amos and Rapaire are having a fight!

FIGHT!

FIGHT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:37 AM

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis 'tis true.

Dear Rapaire:

The contraction 'tis is derived for "it" + "is", as you know perfectly well. It should therefore be clear that using it in the expression "the pity is" is in appropriate. Your correct choices in this expression would be either "the pity o' 'tis, 'tis true" which I find awkward, or "the pity is, 'tis true".

This has been pointed out to you before. Don't make me come over there.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:30 AM

a-hem!


kindaloupehackenweez - there is no "other" Mother thread. The MOAB is the ONLY Mother thread. All others are false pretenders, debased wannabe's - in other words shatner-esque.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:23 AM

I will go, I will go,
When the fighting is over
To the Hopeful Land of George
Which I left to be a soldier
I will go, I will goooooooo.


No, really. I didn't listen to the State of Union rant last night, except for a few moments in the car while driving home from fencing. And even those few moments weren't very enthralling. I mean, where were the stirring phrases, the call to action, the emotion, the soul-stirring passages? Why, it sounded like a staged speech with "Applause" signs on the wall behind the speaker! Has the oratory of the world come to this?? Where are the thunders of Daniel Webster, of William Jennings Bryan, of Ralph Ingersoll, of Martin Luther King, of Patrick Henry, of Lord North, of Daniel O'Connell, of Padraic Pearse, of Rodney Claphart? Gone, all gone!

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis 'tis true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:04 AM

This new setup of Max' means I ca n load this whole thread in 5 seconds. Wow!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 11:46 PM

Actually, I don't think the ban was for anything I said or did. One of the admins seems to have a bit of a Napolean Complex and a great dislike for America Online. It apparently gives him a thrill to ban AOL members. It was implied that I could still play, but not from my current IP address. What a crock! As if anyone would want to continue contributing to a site where admins can behave in such a juvenile fashion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 11:32 PM

I think it means "I love you". It might mean "I love dick", but I suspect the former.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 11:21 PM

I think she likes you. :)

BWL, banned after three entries? What were they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 11:12 PM

I got it. All i need to do was log in and reset my cookies.

But now for my other delemia.

My sister which i was just reaquanted with this past week end for the first time in 15 years. Sent me a short story summing up her 9 1/2 hour journey, to here and back. She signed the story at the end with some German jargin i've been trying to translate with no avail.

Can any of you "cats" tell me what
                                     lch liebe dich
means??

Thanks. And maybe something i can hit her back with. lol

kindaloupehackenweez


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,kindalupehackenweez
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:27 PM

been trying to get on this thread for a couple days. messed with the computor and now have no problems. With the exception that now i come up as guest. Any suggestions???

today in 1940 the first social security check was issued to a Ida Mae fuller of Vermont.

1945 - Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since the Civil War to be executed for disertion.

2001 - A court in the Netherlands convicted one Libyan and acquitted a second in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland.

And what about that other "Mother" thread???

Signed mixed emotions
aka
kindaloupehackenweez


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:18 PM

As we said tonight, "Touche, mon vieux! Vous etes mort, Mort!" A quick counter-sixte, a short extension, a touch on the bicep, a small slash to cut the muscle, the drop of the epee, the recovery, the lunge,the blade passing through the lung, the pinkish froth of the wound and on the lips, the withdrawal, the final salute, the collapse, the surgeons, the whispered request for "Mercy," the miserecord through the jacket and into the heart.... Ah, another night at the Fencing Club!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:13 PM

Hi, Mom!

I have some great news! After a couple of months lurking at the Wikipedia parody site "The Uncyclopedia" (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Pageposting), I finally decided to post some stuff to it. Well, after only three contributions, I have been BANNED! My particular brand of BS has been deemed unworthy of the most blatantly bullshit website on the Internet! Yes, it's true!

The reason given for the ban is "Get a life, get a job, get a haircut, get whatever, but just get the fuck out of here!"

I love it!

My only regret is that I was unable to submit my article about the Flying Fucks before I got banned, so...


The Flying Fucks

The Flying Fucks were a popular circus trapeze act whose active career spanned the roughly thirty-year period from the early 1960s to the early1990s.

Personnel...

Like many circus acts, The Flying Fucks were all members of a single extended family. Though the actual personnel during any given year was subject to change due to drug busts, court-ordered rehab stints, and recuperation from gunshot wounds, the following family members all performed at various times during the family's career:

Elmo "Buddy" Fuck - The family patriarch and bus driver
Esmeralda "Mother" Fuck - The family matriarch and master tie-dye artist
Mercy Fuck - Daughter of Buddy and Mother, head money launderer
Butler "Butt" Fuck - Son of Buddy and Mother, chemist
Anita Quick-Fuck - Wife of Butt Fuck, attorney
Watt D. Fuck - Nephew of Buddy and Mother, mechanic and all-round muscle
Oscar "O" Fuck - Watt D. Fuck's twin brother, check forger
Theresa "Tit" Fuck - Sister of Watt and O, too perpetually stoned to be much good for anything

History...

The Flying Fucks came from a long line of circus people. Unfortunately, the line only included sideshow barkers, cotton-candy sellers, and elephant shit shovelers, not performers. How Buddy Fuck, a ticket-taker, and Mother Fuck, a popcorn vendor, ever got up the nerve to climb to the top of the circus tent and learn to fly on the trapeze is still a mystery, though legend has it that copious amounts of alcohol and/or illegal drugs were involved. Whatever the circumstances, the two Fucks continued practicing after hours and eventually became very proficient aerialists. As soon as their children, nieces and nephews became old enough, they too were taught the aerialist's skills, and by 1964 the family troupe began performing for packed houses. From 1964 until 1967, the Flying Fucks performed for the Ned Beatty and Soul Brothers Circus. Then, in January of 1968, during the circus's off-season, The Flying Fucks accepted an engagement performing between acts at a three-day rock festival featuring the band The Great Full Bed. That gig was the beginning of a decades' long relationship between The Flying Fucks, The Bed, and the band's followers who called themselves "Bedheads". The Flying Fucks' opening act and between-set performances were often the highlight of Bed concerts, the members of the band being too stoned to play more often than not. This relationship lasted until the death of the Bed's lead guitarist, Mister Potatohead, the result of a two-week binge of kitten huffing.

The Act...

The Flying Fucks' trapeze act was notable for two unique stunts. A few minutes into each performance, one of the Fucks would roll a six-foot-tall foam donut along a highwire and the other members of the troupe would dive from their trapezes through the hole in the giant donut. This was known as "A Flying Fuck at a Rolling Donut". The other unique stunt was always the finale' of a Flying Fuck performance. All the members of the troupe would dive from their trapezes in unison and each would pass through a large hoop with a tissue-paper moon stretched over it. This was known as "A Flying Fuck at the Moon".

Beyond the Act...

As a result of the Flying Fucks' association with the Great Full Bed and their Bedhead fans, The Flying Fucks eventually found themselves drawn into the underworld of LSD, MDA, STP, PCP, DMT, XYZ and a bunch of other letters as well. All of the Fucks openly experimented with whatever they could get their hands on, but after a few missed catches, mid-air crashes, and broken bones they decided that it made more sense to make the stuff than eat it. So, Butt Fuck took a correspondence course in chemistry and the Flying Fucks tour bus became a designer drug lab. The Flying Fucks' illicit products soon became the drugs of choice among Bedheads. Their best known products were two different types of blotter acid, one featuring a picture of the rolling donut from their trapeze act, and the other featuring a picture of the moon. People who took either of them were said to be either "Taking a Flying Fuck at a Rolling Donut" or "Taking a Flying Fuck at the Moon".

The End...

As previously mentioned, the Flying Fucks ceased actively performing when Great Full Bed guitarist Mister Potatohead died in 1994. They have all retired to an island off the coast of France where they raise sheep which they rent by the half-hour to visiting Scotsmen, Australians and New Zealanders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 08:39 PM

Ah well, chacun a son mauvais gout, as they say.

In other news it seems baboons need consoling when sad, and what you say effects half of what you see, AND (no big surprise here) people who don't know what the information behind their emotions is, use the emotions as information.

I like the part about the baboons best.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 05:15 PM

I am skimpy with references because I feel that you are intelligent enough to look 'em up your own self.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 01:25 PM

I recognize that piece -- Mere de Chaussee, I think...1961, Berkeley Pronuclear Press, Summat-under-Dawedder, as I recall. Sigh. For a librariarian you sometimes are skimpy with source references, Good Rapaire. IS this a sort of backlash from too much time spent Deweying much about nothing?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 12:04 PM

HAD we but Pu239 enough, and Time,        
These explosions Lady were no crime.        
We would sit down, and think which what        
To destroy, and pass our explosive out.        
Thou by the Indian Ganges side                 
Should'st U235 find: I by the Tide        
Of Humber would complain. We would        
Explode things ten years before, and flood:        
And you should (if you built a shed)        
Effect the Conversion of some lead.
Our mutated vegetables should grow        
Vaster then Empires, and more slow.        
An hundred years should go before we raise        
The shelter's lidded door and Gaze        
Out upon the blasted moor
Where once did frolick Fawns and more.        
But at my back I alwaies hear        
Times winged Charriot hurrying near:        
And yonder all before us lye        
Cities we did cause to Frye.        
Beauty shall no more be found;        
Nor, in their marble Vault, a sound.        
Now therefore, while the youthful hew        
Sits on thy skin like morning [dew]        
And while thy willing Soul transpires        
At every pore the nuckleer Fires,        
Now let us sport us while we may;        
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,        
Rather at once our Time devour,        
Than languish with our Awesome pow'r.        
Let us roll all our Strength, and all        
Our fissionables, up into one Ball:        
Thus, and we can make our Sun,        
Our own Sun, and we will make him run.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:51 AM

Ahh Amos, you need to refine your materiel, prefably using a gas centrifuge....

This is the original: from upsatirs:Les Barkers Administarium

Now lets's see if a few carefully chosen words, and the physics scarttered around here are enough to attract the attention of the FBI's computers. The decoder wheels should really worry them.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:23 AM

aha! like plumbum and lead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:12 AM

These are enough for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:11 AM

Same stuff, just using the Anglosaxon, rather than the Latin name for it. Go ahead and use it, if you like; it makes you look knowledgeable in an arcane way.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 10:01 AM

I thought Bs was Ballocksine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 06 - 09:16 AM

Ah. I wasn't aware of the discovery of Bs. I was taught the elements from 1 through 217, but that was years and years back and in my high school chemistry class. Granted, we had to create elements 104 to 217, but that wasn't a problem because back then we were well educated young people, not like nowadays when the students couldn't build a linear accelerator or a cyclotron or bevatron out of tinfoil and burnt matchsticks if their lives depended upon it. Why, did you know that Quantum Mechanics and Tensor Calculus aren't even taught in the grade schools anymore??? I was shocked, I tell you, shocked to my very core! Back in my day we only had a slide rule and/or an abacus to work out problems, but today, even with all the fancy calculators and computers you can't find a sixth grader who can integrate a nested trig function correctly! And as for matrices, well, just forget it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 06 - 07:24 PM

Bullshitonium (bs) has been around for a long time, Rapaire. It floats freely in atmosphere, but there are two conditions which unstabilize it. One is when a certain amount of gravity is injected into the atmosphere, which tends to make Bs expand unless it is the far rarer isotope known as Bs -g. That isotope tends to permeate and levitate in the presence of atmospheric gravity and dispel the density thereof.

The other destabilizing effect is when Bs -g encounters Administrarium which is composed of a high concentration of   Bs+G anyway; small explosions at random tend to ensue.

A


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