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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

CarolC 27 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 04 - 12:15 AM
Little Hawk 26 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM
Amos 26 Apr 04 - 04:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM
GUEST 26 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM
Amos 26 Apr 04 - 09:59 AM
GUEST,Don the Man 26 Apr 04 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 26 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM
42 26 Apr 04 - 07:22 AM
Rustic Rebel 26 Apr 04 - 02:12 AM
Little Hawk 25 Apr 04 - 11:15 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 11:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 10:28 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 10:27 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 10:26 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 10:25 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 07:49 PM
CarolC 25 Apr 04 - 07:11 PM
Kampervan 25 Apr 04 - 04:40 PM
CarolC 25 Apr 04 - 01:19 PM
GUEST,Big Brother Don 25 Apr 04 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 25 Apr 04 - 11:19 AM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 09:44 AM
Rustic Rebel 25 Apr 04 - 04:51 AM
Kampervan 25 Apr 04 - 04:50 AM
Rustic Rebel 25 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM
Rustic Rebel 25 Apr 04 - 04:44 AM
GUEST,Big Brother (Don the Man) 25 Apr 04 - 12:18 AM
Rapparee 24 Apr 04 - 10:42 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Apr 04 - 03:10 AM
CarolC 24 Apr 04 - 01:29 AM
Amos 23 Apr 04 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Apr 04 - 05:10 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 23 Apr 04 - 05:05 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Apr 04 - 04:51 PM
Amos 23 Apr 04 - 02:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Apr 04 - 02:10 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Apr 04 - 01:51 PM
Amos 23 Apr 04 - 01:47 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Apr 04 - 01:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Apr 04 - 01:53 AM
Amos 22 Apr 04 - 11:46 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 22 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 04 - 11:41 PM
GUEST,Hubba Bubba 22 Apr 04 - 11:01 PM
Amos 22 Apr 04 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 04 - 10:34 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM

No "Dykes on Bikes" there Bee-dubya-ell? We know some people who have seen people who ride with them. We've seen Klingons in Hotlanta, too. As well as other trekkie types. It's a strange place. Elton John lives there part of the time, in his boyfriend's penthouse condo (in Buckhead, I heard).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 12:15 AM

Why, thank you, LH. But modesty forbids me, etc.

Hot damn, I wasn't empanelled for jury duty! Off the hook 'til Thursday, and if I don't get empanelled Friday, they can't call me agin fer at least two years. (Just as well, too -- it was a nasty, nasty criminal case).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM

Here HE comes to save the day!!!! (No, it's not Mighty Mouse...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:37 PM

No big deal, BWL -- just tell Bubba they are a new stage of development in the life cycle of Khandu, and he'll rip their throats out!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM

I have returned safely from the wilderness of Atlanta and have disturbing news. The entire city has been taken over by Klingons!

The art show that we were in (The Inman Park Festival) has an alternative parade as part of its festivities. There were numerous organizations represented, like the gardening club which calls itself "The Dirt Digging Dykes of Decatur", "The Heterosexual Whippet Owners' Club" (membership = two), "The Inman Park Precision Attache' Case and Umbrella Drill Team" and "Tattooed Men in Skirts".

Well, there were about fifty Klingons in the parade calling themselves "The Klingon Attack Group" ("KAG" for short). They were obviously trying to pass themselves off as humans pretending to be Klingons, but some of us aren't so easily fooled. We know they were real Klingons and that they will soon be all over the place!

Oh! Who can save the Earth from total Klingon domination?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM

hey bubba-bubba! is they puppies yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:59 AM

Now, Rap, don't let them twist your neck like that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don the Man
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:55 AM

He would of come to your liberry in Idaho, man... but he got attrested first in Blind River. Too bad. I am gonna take Idiot-boy his clothes today. I am carrying them on the end of a long stick. They reek!!! I hope the cops let me in with them. I have hid a beer and 2 joints in his boots so he dont get depressed too much in that jail cell.

Don the Man (Shane's Big Brother)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM

The sadness. Throughout Idaho, sorrow. An entire State, over a million people (some of whom are even living in clumps called "cities") are mourning today.

For BDiBR didn't come visit our library, nekkid as a jaybird. Instead, Kampervan cricized the language of the MOABites. Using the linguistic skills acquired in a graduate course in linguistics (where else would you learn this sort of thing?), I treed K's comments so that I could determine what the actual message was -- without success. I next used an old linguistics trick and translated the comments to Antique Middle Dutch, AMD to pre-Viking Icelandic, and the result to contemporary Tagalog. Eureka! the result was one word! That word is "tolong" which when translated from Tagalog to English means "Help."

Thus, Kampervan's post was (and is) a plea for help. Exactly what sort of help is being requested and whether or not this plea comes from Kampervan is still being researched. The problem has been referred to the Idaho National English and Everything Linguistic Laboratory (INEEL), where the resultant word ("Tolong") will be rendered into ASCII and then to hexadecimal and run through INEEL's supercolliding supercomputer for numeric analysis, comparing the hexadecimal results with the same results from octal, binary, and other mathematical bases. The results will be presented here later in tabular format, assuming that the grant money holds out.

Being a shy and unassuming kid from the Great Middlewest, there is no need to nominate me for a Nobel Prize. No, really. Aw, shucks, go ahead then, since you insist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 07:22 AM

He IS William Shatner...just using a pseudonym.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:12 AM

Kampervan
Yes I do happen to drive one of those. It's a custom 1980, red carpet on the ceiling, fold out styrofoam (sp?) bed, with red curtains that enfold the entire entirety of the van. Aw-ha. I know what them kampervans are all about.
Hippy floating, love machines.
Ford made, driven hard, get it on and eat some lard.
Gas drinkin',
make you thinkin'
your a rich slobivalian
riden' with an alien...
vehicle of means.
Aw-Ha.

Amos..TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT! How can you justify beating William Shatner to the TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT? He must not have know how to spell TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:15 PM

Is it just you and me here or what? :-) How goes it with the crop circles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:07 PM

No, LH, he does not. Your confusion
Between real ruling, and delusion
Is sad, and makes one shake one's 'ead
And hope you find a private bed
Wherein to weave imagination
Into sad Shatneroid fixation!
At least, while you dear madness keep
You have a chance to get some sleep!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM

2800 posts, and Shatner still rules. Ain't it wonderful?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:28 PM

Number TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:27 PM

If you had a lack of spine
You might wear only 99!

But if with courage your blood thundered...

You'd proabbly wear...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:26 PM

If you were a critical moment
What you you wear
On the Day?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:25 PM

The time slips on, and wanders by!

Lo!! That the hour draweth nigh!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM

I sense the moment drawing near

The day -- the day!!

Is almost here....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 07:49 PM

Start from the top, Kamper, and when you get to the first post that is confusing back up one or two and come forward until you find the bewildering term or referent; then PM the author to get it clarified. Repeat until complete.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 07:11 PM

Hmmm... unfortunate luck for you I guess Old Bean. We're making it up as we go along. But if you read the thread from the very beginning, oh... maybe two or three times, by the third, or maybe the fifth time, you'll probably understand about 30% of it at least. If you don't bust a blood thingie first.

Good luck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:40 PM

Dashed decent of you to help me out here CarolC. Now where do I get hold of a MOABish-English dictionary?

Is it an ancient Middle-eastern language, as in the biblical Moab from the old testament, or could it be one of those colourful New World inventions from the Americas?

Anyway, it looks like a very interesting thread, so I would like to get into the Lingo it at all possible.

Toodle pip for now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 01:19 PM

Doesn't anyone on here speak (or write) English?

Not a one, Kampervan. You'll have to learn MOABish if you want to read this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:27 AM

He wants out on bale. Fat chance! LOL! I got better things to spend 500 bucks on this weekend than bale. He is gettin re-acwainted with cell # 9, and is sharing it with a big Indian from Serpent River who got atressted for bustin heads and raisin hell in Massey. I went to see the loser. (I mean Shane, eh?) (not the iNdian) He wants his clothes back. Well, I am gonna take pity on him tomorrow and take him those clothes but I think there was a skunk in the yard last night cos they smell kinda rank to me.

Don the Man


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:19 AM

DAGgone it! I went and got the cuttin' knives and brandin' irons out fer nothin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 09:44 AM

Thanks for the grin, Dan and Rustic. Glad to hear Shane has upped his comehaveance. I mean come to his haveuppance. No, that should be had up hiscomeance. No...wait....had his come-uppance!! Anyway, to hell with it, but thanks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:51 AM

Now wait a damn minute. I meant to say-
Naked soul.
Okay can I start over?

If laughing could spring him, he would now be running around a free naked soul.

I think I done drank all your liquor tonight Blind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:50 AM

I say chaps, what a terribly interesting thread this might be, if one could understand the jolly old language.
Doesn't anyone on here speak (or write) English?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM

Shit, If we had a censor on this thread he would delete the word cold for could, which is what I really meant to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:44 AM

if laughing cold spring him, he would now be running around a free nakes soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Big Brother (Don the Man)
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 12:18 AM

Hi people! I just wanted ya all to know that Idiot-Boy, my little brother who calls himslfe Blind Drunk in Blind River has got his sorry ass arrested again. Ha! Ha! It ain't like it hasnt happened before eh? But this was different. Ya know why? Cuz he did not get atrested for break and entering. No and he did not get arrested for drunk and disorderly or disturbin the peace or damagin' property. He did not even get arrested for sellin or havin' dope this time! He did not get arrested for driving half in the bag without no license neither. He did not get arrested for borrowin' other peoples' snowmoblies or their car or truck without askin'. NO Sir! Ya know what he got arrested for? Ya want me to tell you?

NUdity! Public nudity!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! He is already infemious in this town, but now he will be a FLIPPIN' LEGEND! I kid you not, Jethro. A flipping lenged of stupidity is what he will be.

He tried to get free beers at the Iron Horse by doin' a striptease for the waitresses. You hadda be there! Very funny! They threw him out. Then he went and done the same thing over to the other restaurant and they called the cops. When teh cops arrived he was dancin' around without a stich on in front of two of the local Jehovahs witnesses, and one lady fainted. The other one started throwin' copies of their dumb Watchtower magazines at him and tellin' him to cover himself.

The cops in this town know Shane real good, I am telling you. They love him like a dog loves a bad case of fleas eh?

So anyway, he got took off stark naked in the back of a patrol car. I have put his clothes on a dummy in the garden to be a scarecrow till he gets back. I figger if they fit one dummy they would fit another! Ha! Ha!

My little brother finally got himself arrested for somethin' that nobody else in Blind River has been dumb enought to do lately. Not in a lotta years has their been anyone in town this dumb I dont think.

Me and my buddies are gonna prepare a big party when he gets let out. ROTFLMHAO!!!!

Now he'll be sorry he called me Baldy.

- Don, the Man (Shane's older brother. I am the brains ofthis family and I have a job eh?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:42 PM

You come 'round my library buck nekkid and we'll rope your horn, dally up, throw a piggin' string on ya, inoculate ya fer footrot, cut ya, trim yer ears inta a jinglebob cut, an' slap an MPL brand on your butt afore we turn ya in with the other calves.

Drop around anytime and remember, you can get it at your library!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 03:10 AM

Hey Blind- The library sounds like a good place to start if you want free literary wannabe's. I would not suggest it if you want free beer. Will you just go get naked at a tavern, please the women, and get your drinks for free?

Amos, you keep doing that and no telling where I might get off tonight. I can visualize(sp?) your right sock coming off now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 01:29 AM

Hey Bee-dubya-ell. Wave hi to us as you pass by on your way to the big city. We're the last trailer on the left across from Fort Benning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:12 PM

Bubba will be late getting down to you, BeeDub; hesheit was last seen parading around Salt Lake carrying a poster that read "LDS -- The Other Choiesterol". So I speck as how he won't be down til after yu-all get back from selling in 'Lanna.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:10 PM

You are flippin LOST, man! I bet even your dog don't admit he knows you.

- BDiBR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:05 PM

Bee-Dubya honey, I got some goooooooooood news for ya! I know that it's good for me, and I jist know that you'll be as thrilled as I am about it.

You remember I said I met that delicious young man who gave me A Book? Well, I've gone and read all of it, and it has jist turned my life around. Especially Alma 39:4. And Morm.4:21. And D&C 132, too.

Anyway, hon, I've done gone and joined his church! Yes indeed, and I'm now offishully a member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! Ain't that swell?

Me and the Lab are moving down further South right away to be with his other wives, whatever that means.

Now don't you carry on none, ya hear? For I am saved, saved, saved, and I've gone and made the necessary 'rangements for missionaries to come visit YOUR house so you kin be saved too!

I'll be back later, hon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:51 PM

That is a flippin great idea, Rustic! I am gonna try it. But where? I gotta plan this strateegickally sos to get the best benefitt of the okassion eh?

AT the Iron HOrse?

At the liberry?

On mainstreet?

At the Legion?

At the wommen's shelter?

Decisions, decisions.

It's a flippin' KILLER idea in my opinyon. I gotta take a boom box along and do it to AC-DC so I got something to dance to eh? I figger I am just sober enough today to pull it off.

- BDiBR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 02:22 PM

RR:

Hey, watch!! I'ms gonna take off my left sock....


Sheeewwwooooooooooshhhh!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 02:10 PM

I must away to the wilds of Atlanta, Georgia to sell pottery to yuppies for the weekend.

Bubba Bubba - If you happen to find your way to my abode while I'm absent, please do not eat my cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:51 PM

What does money have to do with getting drunk Blind? Don't you know that if you do a little strip tease for the women you won't have to buy all night? Get with the program old boy. The century is 21. Now go out and give it a try tonight, I'll wait for you to report the results.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:47 PM

Well,Shane, when you get the right problem named, let us know, eh? I think you might have named the wrong one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:09 PM

So i guess none of you flippin retreads give a flyin' flip about my problums eh? Well...FLIP YOU!!!

There wasnt' no beer in th house last night eh? It all got drunk. My flippin brother and his bolthole friends done it. I hadda have a drink and ddint have no money. I went to the Iron Horse and they klikcle me out. I found a half drunmk bottle of CC but it had gone skunky. I hadda live through a WHOLE NITE with NO BEER!@

I nearly died eh? Man, I am Soooo not hung over. I can't believe how ugly this town looks today!

- BDiBR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:53 AM

Hey, I said it was a plan. I never said it was a good plan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:46 PM

Oh, that's a relief, BWL. I was worried about you. Glad you have a plan to hide out in the swamp...in a kayak...living on alligator. Right. Good, stuff, man!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM

CORKPULLER!!!!!! Some flippin retread drunk the last beer! I am pissed OFF!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:41 PM

Yes, Amos, I am making plans for Bubba Bubba's arival. I have the good fortune of living about a ten-minute drive from the infamous Calloway Swamp in the Blackwater River State Forest. I have obtained a topo of the swamp, a lightweight kayak, a portable GPS unit, a new snakebite kit and a cookbook with lots of recipes for alligator. I am confident of my ability to remain lost until that Hubba Bubba guy catches Bubba Bubba and takes himherit back to wherever hesheit belongs.

THIS is a rather interesting story of a locally famous occurence within said swamp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hubba Bubba
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:01 PM

Greetings, Earthlings

We are looking for our brister. Hisherit's name is ????? but we believe hesheit calls himheritself "Bubba Bubba" in your language. We have heard hesheit is en route to someplace called "Floribama" to consort with a human of low degree. We wish to intercept himherit before such coupling takes place. We have reason to believe that the offspring from such a coupling would view your species as an excellent food source and would consume all of you within a matter of a few of your months. It would not be any skin off of our ? if your species were to cease to exist, but our boss, The Galactic Overlord, has a soft spot for your kind for some incomprehensible reason and has ordered us to intercept ????? and insure that this coupling does not take place.

Your cooperation in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

??? (aka Hubba Bubba)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:41 PM

Bee Dubya, I got to know -- aren't you making any preparations for the imminent threatened arrival of this multiphasic creature of undefined and irregullar appetites? Like, airline tickets out of country?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:34 PM

Aw, dudes! Another fuckin' faux pas! How cool!!!

Needless to say, 2700=3x3x3x10x10 which makes it even more cosmic 'cause now it's got the ten toes and the ten fingers and it makes me even more of a dumbass.

Outasight!


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