Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 29 Nov 09 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 29 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM
Ed T 29 Nov 09 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 09 - 12:11 PM
Ed T 29 Nov 09 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 09 - 11:39 AM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 09 - 11:22 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 29 Nov 09 - 11:00 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 09 - 11:46 PM
Janie 28 Nov 09 - 11:33 PM
Ed T 28 Nov 09 - 07:50 PM
Amos 28 Nov 09 - 02:45 PM
Amos 28 Nov 09 - 10:58 AM
Acme 28 Nov 09 - 10:16 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 09 - 12:34 AM
Amos 27 Nov 09 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 09 - 09:25 PM
Acme 27 Nov 09 - 08:39 PM
Amos 27 Nov 09 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 09 - 03:40 PM
Ed T 27 Nov 09 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 09 - 02:32 PM
Amos 27 Nov 09 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 09 - 01:38 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 09 - 01:21 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 09 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 09 - 10:51 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 09:58 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 09:49 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 09:40 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 09:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 09 - 09:26 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 06:43 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 06:30 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 05:57 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 05:42 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 05:37 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 04:29 PM
Acme 26 Nov 09 - 03:49 PM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 01:42 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 01:25 PM
Amos 26 Nov 09 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 09 - 11:55 AM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 11:32 AM
Ed T 26 Nov 09 - 11:25 AM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 09 - 10:49 AM
Tweed 26 Nov 09 - 09:29 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 03:11 PM

It was warm and balmy this morning, and I thought I'd put up some holiday lights. So since then it rained and now it's getting cold. This is more typical for putting up holiday lights. I think I'll do a strange job, just a bunch of lights on an Italian cypress. All covered with lights.

Kind of a phallic look, providing a shift in the seasonal focus.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM

I did not own ALL of them flippin' snowmobiles, Hawk. They was borrowed from people that didn't use 'em enuff. You gotta use a mashine regular or it don't run right. I was doin' them a faver. Then there was the OPP boat. I flippin' STOLE that one and I ain't sorry about it neither! I would have took it and pond it if I had not hit the flippin' rocks first. I hate cops. Them flipheads are nothin' but trouble for desent people like me and most people I know. What is a cop good for? NOTHIN'! They are like a flippin' tooth ake dressed in a unaform. They are like a diseese lookin' for a host, man!

All accept for Offiser Dana. She is a flippin' angel in a uniforme and one day we will get marryed.

As fer you...RAPAIRE! You are a flippin' corkpullers' corkpuller!!! You ain't worth shit on a stick, man. One day I will get really ticked and yer flippin' useless life will come to a sudden flippin' end.

Flip. Don has just told me that its' illeagle to make flippin' death threats on the flippin' innernet. What the flip do I care? It ain't like I go arownd all the time tryin'to obdey every flippin' law, eh? Get real.

- Shane


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 01:04 PM

That is absolutely true, Ed. That bag was full of stolen weed: dandelion, poison ivy, mallow, and ramps, mostly. He once actually bought a bag some "good shit" from a guy on the street -- you know what happened -- and Shame actually tried to smoke it. Once he asked a guy who was lighting up behind Tim's in Blind River for a hit and the guy broke his nose, saying, "Sure, anything for you, Shame."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 12:55 PM

Don't worry about Shane suing you. He won't go near the law, as he has five outstanding DUI charges, and owes child support with three women. (Imagine little "future Shanes" out there lurking).

When he got caught by police rading a grow op house...he was stealing weed not growing it. Sure he ratted on the owners to get off, but they would never take him on. ..police did a return favour by turning a blind eye (at the time) to his other illegal exploits. And, they didn't even search his kit bags, he had full of stolen weed.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 12:11 PM

Shane has deep-sixed more snowmobiles by going through thin ice on frozen lakes and survived than anyone else in Canada! And he didn't own one of them either. He also managed to sink an O.P.P. speedboat once by running it onto some rocks off Manitoulin Island. These exploits have not gone unnoticed (specially by the police) and have gained Shane a certain measure of notoriety in the vicinity of basically Sudbury to Spanish to Massey to Blind River, perhaps even as far west as Sault Ste-Marie.

Can any of "youse" match that?

Ha! Didn't think so. His name is almost a household word.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 11:53 AM

Shane rifles through purses
And dreams of wet nurses
While women grow faint at the thought

And, he drools as he spits
More like alcohol fits
Trace his slime trail on back to his 'bode

Through mullety grease
His mind is at peace
'Cause his 'ploits got him through 'nother day

Soon snoring again
T'ill tomorrow's refrain
With dreams of port bottles and "bud"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 11:39 AM

Violence? Like kicking flowers in the park? Pounding his head against a brick wall? Denting an aluminum beer can with his might grip? Even...(gasp!) obtaining a weapon and soaking himself when using the water gun?

In the first case the Garden Club would beat him senseless, if anyone could tell. In only the owner of the wall would care, and then only because of the damage to the wall. In the third, a slight dent won't prevent the can from being recycled. And in the last, well, he's used to wetting himself.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 11:22 AM

I fear, Rapaire, that further libelous remarks of that sort on your part may drive Shane to some act of violence. Please desist!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 29 Nov 09 - 11:00 AM

You forgot to mention that even Shame spits up onto his bib and his some nice motherly type wipes the drool from his mouth while his rifles through her purse.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 11:46 PM

That Shatner scene is indeed legendary, Ed. We show it on the big screen every year at the Annual Shatnerization Weekend at the WSSBA in Orillia. Women have been known to faint watching that scene. Men have been known to lose coherency, and fall down foaming at the mouth. Dogs have been known to bark. A statue of the Virgin Mary wept real tears.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 11:33 PM

Beautious long weekend with family, MOM., plus sister Annie installed the programable thermostat for my furnace I bought a year ago and we cut down diseased dogwoods, and assorted other smallish and in-the-way trees planted by bird droppings over the last 40 years, walked all over town, browsed a terrific used bookstore I hadn't been in, hauled brush, mulched leaves and daydreamed some inexpensive renovations for if I ever have the money for inexpensive renovations.

I haven't caught up on the MOAB chatter except for a quick skim. I'm assuming a more careful reading of the last 3 days will reveal why the two Google ads at the bottom of the thread are "Parrot Training 101" and "Want Parrot Beginner Tips."

And NOBODY appears to have said "Howdy and Happy T-Day back at you" to Tweed.

"Tweed who?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 07:50 PM

We know that Shane likes to fight.

Amos and Rapaire oft came close to computer blows.

LH will stand tall for his maple-snowed (if not snow shoe'd)   ground...if given the call.

What 'ta fuck...we all like to watch a fight....it's the Testosterone in us (minus Janie).

Then there is William Shatner....the greatest Canadian (AKA American) fighter of all time...as seen here....possibly the greatest fight scene of all time (step back MMA, WBA or the WWF...and not he ecology wimps...the rreal WWF).


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1eFdUSnaQM&feature=youtube_gdata


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 02:45 PM

Oh men may boast, and men may talk
Of works of art that made them squawk
But none in the creative flock
Can be compared to Little Hwk!

The man refuses to get stuck!
When others stall, he onward trucks!
There's none quite like this bold Canuck!
(At least, to those who give a fuck!)

When he by Spaw as all dismayed
And thought he might not make the grade
He did not blubber, sad and limp.
He went and dreamed up Chongo Chimp.

And then to prove his inspiration
He then made up Shatnerization,
And Corridus the Hamster, too
From out his fevered spirit flew!

Success inflamed his fervid brain
And led him next to dream up Shane.
And thought brought murmurs from the bar,
From folks who thought he'd gone to far.

But Hawk no brakes would he put on,
He dreamed up Shanes big brother, Don,
And then he still refused to stop,
And brought us Dana, J--a cop.

And on he goes in endless hurry
Creating visions in a fury!
Not always delicate, by thunder,
But rich in blood and great in number.

All this would bring him endless fame
(Especially that asshole Shane)
But Hawk is not quite right, we feel,
When he asserts these dreams are real.

He poses them as full of pride
And angry feelings kept inside
And if one challenges their verity,
He blows his stack with great asperity!

And so instead of praise and glory
His characters grow pale and hoary
As people keep a safe remove
(As honest folks it doth behoove)

Not out of fear, nor condescension
They back away from his pretension,
But from his willdness, their defection
Is more to guard against infection!

Oh men may dream, and men may talk
Of the grandest schemes of Little Hawk,
But they stand well back from his confusion,
So as not to catch his sheer delusion.
And so preserve their normal sanity
From Chongo's slang, or Shane's profanity.

Winifred Simmilarion-Jones
Winsome-on-Occasion, Surrey, England
1987


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 10:58 AM

That was a fine job of versing, Hawkster! Mighty fine--well balanced and of good scansion, even artful! :D



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 10:16 AM

32647! Will that win anything, do you think? Here's the search but I don't think I'll get rich and I don't want to go to Northern Tool today.

Amos, sounds like a nice day. LH, Amos is lucky to have a friend to point out in such detail how lucky he is.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 09 - 12:34 AM

If Amos had a mind like Shane's
He'd have a much less busy brain
His relatives would live in trailers
He wouldn't talk like Norman Mailer

He'd haunt the donut shops and bars
And never drive a yuppie car
He'd get hung over frequently
And never drink hot Earl Grey tea

He wouldn't know the word "jejeune"
Nor would he hum a merry tune
While writing rhymes in clever verse
That prove his friend Rapaire's perverse

Instead going to the zoo
He'd go to jail for a month or two
And when they let him out he'd claim
That he had been unfairly framed

He'd say the cops are out to get him
Because they did refuse to let him
Make a 3 AM trip to the liquor store
With a chainsaw that "unlocked" the door

He'd cry and whine before the judge
"These fliphead cops have got a grudge!
"They hate me so becoz I'm cool.
"And cos I ain't no fliphead fool.

"They want me put in flippin' stir!
"It's really all becoz of her!
"Cos Jenny Dana loves me better
"Than she loves them! But they won't let her...

"...show off her love fer me, her hero!
"My love adds up to more than zero!
"And if I was let go, I'd prove it
"I'd win her love and not remove it...

"So let me go, judge, let me off!"
The judge at that point gives a cough
And slams his gavel down and hollers
"SIX MORE MONTHS IN AN IRON COLLAR!"

Then Shane is dragged from the courtroom, howling
As the judge sits silent, darkly scowling
And brother Don fumes at the bar
"That flippin' judge has gone TOO FAR!"

Yes, all these things could happen to Amos
And he might even become quite famous
In time if he'd been born like Shane
With a smaller, far less busy brain.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 10:55 PM

What a couple of days it has been!! A full house with MIL, sister-in-law and her best friend from Colorado in house. We gallivanted around shopping and such, idled away Thursday morning, dined royally in a brilliant crowd of software and chip designers at a huge ranch in Valley Center, and today wandered the hills of the incredible orry Pines state park and the TOrrey Pines beach, and explored the coast, and spent a couple of hours in a large outdoor garden called FreeFlight where Macaws, assorted other parrots, molluccan cockatoos, cockatiels and some cranes are all wandering about being fed and cared for while they recover. You can wander among them and pick them up--except the ones in the Biting Area -- and cuddle them and listen to what they have to say. Tonight we watched a two hour segment of the National Parks documentary, which was produced by Frank Burns. Wonderful job.

I am sore from hiking and ready for bed. I have no rhymes in me even.


G'night Mom!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 09:25 PM

Stayed home, mostly. Them clowns out there ain't my cuppa. Gonna fly back to Idaho tomorrow.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 08:39 PM

Sorry I haven't been here all day. Been dealing with the BSOD. Ugg.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 07:04 PM

Shane's mind and morals may be bent
Rancid his breath and foul his scent!
But hard though it be on this crass pretender
Take pity more on his daft inventor!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 03:40 PM

There was a young guy name of Shame
Who had only his own self to blame
For he thought he knew how
To use his "endow":
By waving it at passing trains.

Oh, his older brother, hight Don
Had tried to teach the young clown
What his endowment was for.
But he didn't get far,
Because Shame couldn't pour piss out of boot with the instructions printed on the heel.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 03:11 PM

When you're sad and lonely sweet
Take weight off cojones of your feet
And, when you see Shane's mullety hair
Mourn she that see's his mullet down there.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 02:32 PM

You're really going to get him angry if you carry on this way. I hate to think what could happen.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 02:30 PM

When you grow old, and sad and lonely
And mourn the loss of your cojones
Think of poor Shane, who took no fall,
Never having had any balls at all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 01:38 PM

I meant cojones...I don't know about the other.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 01:21 PM

They say that Shame has no shame. A logical impossibility!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 09 - 11:36 AM

Well, I suppose Shame has none.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 10:51 PM

Does Shame wear a mullet as a hairstyle to cover up his otherwise nauseating odour?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:58 PM

Oh. My. God. (!)

Even Shane would have second thoughts about taking her on. Besides...he can't afford her.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:49 PM

Not sure about this one:
http://graphicshunt.com/funny/images/mullet-12895.htm


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:40 PM

Sorry Sir Samuel, I lost you for a moment:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b5/Samuelholland.jpg


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:38 PM

Nor as handsome as the famous surveyor, Smuel Holland:
http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b5/Samuelholland.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipe


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:26 PM

Must look funny, since Shame's skull is flat from his eyebrows back, much like this one is. Mind you, Shame is nowhere nearly as smart or as creative as PDQ Bach was.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 06:43 PM

He has a mullet, not a skullet. Lots of hair in other words. You are sort of getting warm with that last picture, although Shane is a lot younger than that guy and he doesn't have the glasses.

Shane admires heavy metal rockers. Like most of those guys, he goes for the long haired look. He has become reasonably adept at air guitar, but is almost useless on the real thing.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 06:30 PM

Is this getting closer?


http://www.freakingnews.com/Redneck-Pictures-11701.asp


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 06:27 PM

What's his favourite cologne (for shaving, not drinking)?

Does he have a mullet or a   skullet (not much hair on top)

Sideburns?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 05:57 PM

That guy doesn't look at all like Shane. Let me describe the lad. He's got greasy blond hair, shoulder-length, in a mullet cut, and a greasy blond mustache, and five o-clock shadow like he hadn't shaved for maybe five days or so. He's got nicotine-stained calloused fingers and filthy hands that have clearly seen a lot of manual activity of one sort or another (probably not what you would call "work", though). He wears tattered blue jeans, cruddy old work boots, a lumberjack shirt and a really filthy old jacket. He wears a baseball cap backwards with "Go Leafs Go!" on it or else the one with "I'm With the IDIOT ---->" on it. Sometimes he wears a T-shirt with the motto "FREE SEX (enquire below)" on it. There's a red arrow pointing down toward his crotch under FREE SEX (enquire below) part. His shirt is usually half tucked in, half hanging out, and with a button or two missing or undone. His fly may be half open...or not...depending on whether he noticed yet.

If a young woman comes by, he leers at her suggestively and makes what he imagines to be clever flirtatious remarks. If she rejects his advances (and they all do), he calls her a "flippin' skank" and says he can do way better "anyways".

He is quite likely to ask if you "got smokes". He expects you to give him one if you do. He will be glad to go drinking with you anytime as long as you pay. He will give you advice on romancing women if you give him some money. He would gladly pay you Tuesday for a glass of beer today...but you won't find him anywhere when Tuesday comes. He sells homegrown at reasonable rates, but check for purity, because he sometimes cuts it with ground-up old dead oak and maple leaves from the backyard, and that stuff leaves a REAL bad aftertaste and does NOT get you high at all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 05:42 PM

Shane?
http://benandjanae.com/images/jay-the-jail-bird.jpg


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 05:37 PM

Shane... Maybe yes....maybe no?

http://backinasecond.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/jailbird.jpg


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 04:29 PM

Emerson sure got that right, Ed.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 03:49 PM

Janie,

You took the words right from my mouth last night. Getting ready for cooking today, and then, cooking today. I'm glad to see the boys are staying out from underfoot by playing on their 'puters. I'm taking a break (gotta take a load off--the feet and butt get tired with all of this walking, stooping, lugging, etc, in the kitchen).

Leftovers here won't be quite as elaborate, but the turkey, which will go in the oven soon (we eat late, to accommodate members of our clan who also go to two other T'giving meals early in the day today). We savor our hot open-face turkey sandwiches. Mmmmmm! I brined the turkey so we'll get lots of good gravy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 01:42 PM

"You that will have all solid, and a world of pig-lead, deceive yourselves grossly. You believe yourselves rooted and grounded on adamant, and yet if we uncover the last facts of our knowledge, you are spinning like bubbles on a river, you know not whither or whence, and you are bottomed and capped and wrapped in delusions."

Emerson, Representative Men.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 01:25 PM

Well, Amos, the sad truth is that the Canadian political scene is almost as futile and pointless and wretched as yours is in the USA. But it's not nearly as dangerous. I am thankful for small favors.

The last time Shane had a chance to vote in Blind River it seems to me that he was hesitating between not voting for "Bible Thumper" (the Christian Heritage Party, who usually cull about half of a tenth of a percent of the local vote) and not voting for "Bolthole" (the Conservative candidate) or "Flipface" (the Liberal candidate) and "No Hope" (the NDP candidate) or "Give Me a Flippin' Break" (the Green Party Candidate". "Bolthole" won as far as I know, but Shane didn't vote for any of them. He is waiting for a party that will promise free beer and smokes for all unemployed Canadians, plus enough pogey to live on comfortably outside of the free beer and smokes.

No official party has yet made such promises, but Shane remains hopeful.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 01:13 PM

Little Hawk has secured a soft and comfortable place in a small pond from which he can make decrees about all things about American politics and find them bad.

Fortunately, we have more than enough jaded pessimistic cynics of our own, so we don't have to import any extras.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 11:55 AM

Shame doesn't vote because he has to mark a ballot with an "X" and he doesn't want to write his name on anything.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 11:42 AM

Did Shane vote from jail?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 11:32 AM

Almost nobody "elsewhere" would be naive enough to vote for the Democrats or the Republicans... ;-) Although...most of them would have voted for Obama, that's for sure. I would have, given the choice. (but in doing so, I would have been ready and not very surprised to see the $ySStem soon bend Mr Obama to its unholy purposes once he was in office).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 11:25 AM

LH
Maybe they are voting for 'em in the USof A, but likely less so elsewhere:)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 10:49 AM

Hey, people are still voting for the Democrats and Republicans, aren't they? ;-) Don't be so surprised.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 09:29 AM

Happy Thanksgiving MOAB, and to all the Moabites.

I am astonished to find this thing still going.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 19 November 7:59 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.