BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 01:03 PM

I see. Fascinating. ;-) What I can't figure out is how one cosmic continuum can simultaneously contain both of you...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 01:05 PM

LH - you are probably the LAST person I would have imagined to have such a limited world-view.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 01:08 PM

Really? (blush) I feel so....special. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:00 PM

One? I have created more continuums that your weak and puny mind can concieve.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:19 PM

Is that right? Well, I know how to spell the word "conceive" properly and you clearly don't, so there, O omnipotent one!

"i" before "e", except after "c"...or when pronounced "ay" as in "neighbor" and "weigh".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:56 PM

Or whenever I say otherwise, small, insignificant, pedantic, and tedious one.

MY will will be done.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:12 PM

Old Bookman is on a porper tear of narcissistic indulgence today, I must say. You have to wonder exactly how, when and where these grandiose notions entered his poor furless skull.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:16 PM

Who said, in so many words, that having only one way to spell a word is a ridiculous approach to language? I thought it was Jefferson, but a quick search only comes up with a note to his daughter to defer to the dictionary.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:20 PM

I am prostrate here in adoration of your immense stupendiosity, Rapaire. And Amos's too, I hasten to add!

No God means as much to me
As the mighty Rapaire
He who rules our mortal fates
In ways we cannot estimate
His scintillating sentences
Ring out in awesome cadences
Indeed he is a famous whiz
Much like the peerless Amos is
No one can test their stunning grace
Without a crippling loss of face
And that is why they rule us all
In ways that are both great and small!

* Note that in the above verses I have assigned the proper rhyme to "Rapaire", because it is pronounced "Rap-a-ree". Only His true accolytes know this!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:23 PM

Seems it is an urban legend attributing it to Jefferson:

history of the quote which is variously worded, such as "I have nothing but contempt for a man who knows only one way to spell a word."

Considering the closeness of Jefferson's friendship with Merriwether Lewis, and said Lewis' many liberties with spelling, it is perfectly believable Jefferson might have said it at some point.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:30 PM

In the future I wish to be addressed as "My Lord And My God."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 06:33 PM

What a tidy little bit of research. Thanks, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 07:21 PM

'T would better have been writ:

"There is no God for whom i care
As much as our esteemed Rapaire"

since anyone who speaks English knows that the "aire" form is pronounced "ayer" or "air" depending on what part of the country you are in.

However, I am in a forgiving mood and dispenses Divine Forgiveness for all offenses, including Rapaire's offense of self-aggrandizement.

As a genuine Divinity, I do not mind what I am called by those who pray to, beseech, invoke, plead with, or ask for damnation for others from me. Titles are frivolous in the face of Infinite Being, don't you agree?


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 09:13 PM

That is true, Amos. And because you have taken My attributes upon yourself I am sending My minion, Cthulu, to dine at your place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 10:34 PM

I will tickle his palate with the smallest iota of my powers, until he rolls on the floor in a fit of giggles.

I shall return him to you a Convert.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 07:16 AM

Oh yes. You will indeed be converted.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 09:10 AM

Stop attempting to cover up your egregious errors with lofty sounding blathertwaddle, Amos. It's not befitting of a deity to behave in that fashion.

Now, write on the blackboard 5000 times:

I will always pronounce Rapaire as Rap-a-ree
I will always pronounce Rapaire as Rap-a-ree
I will always pronounce Rapaire as Rap-a-ree

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 09:22 AM

I'll consider it, when you can persuade yon Rap-air to stop twisting things. See how he inverted what I said in order to make himself look darkly overbearing? It's unmannerly, and unmanly. It stinks up the air of Mom's place with the flatus of overweening self-esteem. It suffocates the spark of open creativity and raises black iconic images tot he detriment of every soul who sees them. I'm all like, hoooo-hum.

What a golden-haired lad is our Rapaire. Sad, that his soul needs such repair.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 10:16 AM

Is the sea around San Diego stirring with eldritch Nameless Beings, Amos? Have various individuals with frog-like eyes been seen near your home?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 10:45 AM

Yes, indeed. They seemd to all be gravitating toward the COnvention Center downtown. It was, it turns out, the centennial Eldritch Hundredyear Gather and Celebration or some such. I stopped by to welcome them to America's Finest City but they kept interrupting me to ask which was the fastest route to Pocatello. Seems they had some kind of score to settle with someone. I told them to look you up when they were in the area, and they said no worries, they already had the MapQuest printouts ready.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 01:09 PM

I love to sit around and talk
WIth Stilly, Rap and Little Hawk.
I love to watch the charming posts
Of MOAB's children, and the ghosts
Of those who once, with language airy,
posted here more regularly.
I think, for sure, of ancient Tweed,
A giant heart in words, indeed,
And Rustic Rebel, and Khandu
And others who have once passed through.
With humor, joy, and even gaity
That exceeds most, amongst the laity.
But all this falls like clay to dust,
When Rapaire starts asserting Deity.

Winifred Spunephedd III
Doggerel of Happier Dogs
Lazy Days Publications,
Raizedd-on-Pablum, Kent

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 03:07 PM

MOM did comment the other day that the rhetoric is a little heated in here, and that the room smells like a big fart.

Or something like that. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 05:22 PM

" I stopped by to welcome them to America's Finest City "

Are you visiting Schenectady?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 06:13 PM

They must be in Stone, Idaho!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 06:45 PM

Sorry, kids, the label is already registered with the USPTO and it belongs to San Diego.

Let the girls of Pocatello,
And their self-inflating fellows
To their darkling homes away go,
Give me sunny San Diego.

None who hopes respect to see
Lingers in cold Schenectady,
Home of idle, vicious talk
Fit for such as Little Hawk.

And of chill Pocatello, there,
Let us leave poor cold Rapaire
Ranting with bookish velleity
Of his Wanna-Being Deity.

Let us lean back, sitting pretty
In America's FInest City,
Where the sun is not in fetters,
We do not wear boots and sweaters,

Let the other guys go starkers
With galoshes and with parkas
While we our carefree sunny way go,
Here in grace-lit San Diego.

You who practice stark delusion,
Bookish pride, nuclear fusion,
Where the bear and white fox yell
By the wicked lab Batelle

Or in rampant, mad up-stuckery
Carry out obsessed Canuckery
Leave me, where the deep blue waters
Sibilant with surfing's daughters,

Lies benignly in the sun,
Warmed and lit, like hot cross bun.
Keep your slush and driveways gritty,
I'll stay in our Finest City.


Rockin Dude AUstin MEllencamp, Jr.
Wave Dude Publications
Surf City, U.S.A. , 1980

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 08:17 PM

Once upon a finest city
While I pounded out a ditty
Suddenly there came a sloshing,
A growling, quaking, sliding, sloshing,
Burning through my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more.

          --Lucius K. Mosby, Short Ditties For Finest Cities
             (Ceres City: By Jupiter! Press, 2309)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 09:47 PM

Your ditty will not win a trophy,
Forecasting a catass-trophe.
You reveal, in sublimation
Cruelty of imagination,
Sneering visage, malign air,
Thus your depths are all laid bare.
And your life reveals its Ruler:
Your own inner Psycho-Drooler!
Oh, begone, thou wicked fellow,
Stay in freezing Pocatello!
Sunlit climes and gentle breezes
Come to those who act like Jesus.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 09:48 PM

Pretty snarky, Mike. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 08 - 09:56 PM

MOM!!!!! The kids are squabbling again!!!!




A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 09:20 AM

I was just ravin'.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 10:58 AM

Be thou ravin'
Nevermore
Ravin' at the Mudcats door!
For the love of lost Lenore,
Or an unpaid fine or four.
Ravin' o'er some sloppy fellow
From the North, from Pocatello,
Who, to be two bits a-savin',
Tipped accounts at Bookman's haven,
And began the Bookman's ravin'
On that distant frozen shore.
Little gains from misbehavin'
Oh, thou literary maven!
Do be still, and cease thy ravin'
Be thou ravin'
Nevermore.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:08 PM

MOOOOOM!!! Amos keeps outshining Rapaire with his brilliant doggerel. Make him STOOOOOP!!!!!!!!


Amos

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 05:22 PM

Mom! I'm gonna have my picture in a magazine and Amos isn't! Ha ha ha, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 05:44 PM

A "magazine?" Isn't that some part of a firearm that has bullets or other ammunition? The library where I work has us all out of the habit of talking about "magazines." They talk about serials and journals.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 05:55 PM

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious wiki of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping on my monitor.
`'Tis some error code,' I muttered, `tapping on my monitor -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember burnt a hole right through the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my wiki surcease of sorrow - sorrow for a lost music score -
For the rare and radiant notes whom the folkies named no more -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each googled curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with expectations never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis only some music entreating entrance at my monitor -'
But it was some Mudcat seeking entrance through my monitor; -
And I would ne'er again experience silence, peace, and nothing more.

               --H. Herkimer Schenectady, Plagaristic Poems
               (Fonda, New York: Po' Press, 1763)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 09:48 AM

Well, your plagiarism may be improving, I think, but I really wish you would debosist from stiboicking extra syllabobables into your conbostructions. It really seems to mess up the scanbosion somebohow.A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:27 AM

...Gasping on deck, because you soar too high, Bob,
And fall, for lack of moisture, quite a-dry, Bob!

... Scott, Rogers, Campbell, Moore, and Crabbe will try
'Gainst you the question with posterity.

...To keep one creed's a task grown quite Herculean;
Is it not so, my Tory, ultra-Julian?

More Byron, perhaps, Amos?

I want a hero: an uncommon want,
    When every year and month sends forth a new one,
Till, after cloying the gazettes with cant,
    The age discovers he is not the true one;
Of such as these I should not care to vaunt,
    I'll therefore take our ancient friend Don Juan --
We all have seen him, in the pantomime,
Sent to the devil somewhat ere his time.

Note the rhymes in the excerpts: "Herculean/ultra-Julian", "too high, Bob/quite a-dry Bob" and others. And even in the first stanze of the first Canto: "new one/true one/Don Juan." Brilliant! Byron tells us in rhyme how his hero's name is to be pronounced!

If it's good enough for Georgie Gordon then By Damn! Sir! it's good enough for me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:28 AM

26192.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:51 AM

He claims to seek a hero, who in truth
Would only bring a hero, found, sad ruth
For how's a hero, clean in mind and bod,
Supposed to treat with some narcissist clod
Who flaunts machinery against velleity
And loudly claims to be, himself, a Deity?
Were I a hero (and I am not, much)
I'd make a point of steering clear of such,
For fear my image, cast upon such glass,
Would shatter both, and make of both an ass.

William Valet Weights
Mad Visions of the Overblown
Putney, Inmoouth, Anbyte, pubs.
Dublin City, 1917

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:21 PM

Be warned, people. Your supposed monopoly on interminable sesquipedalian blathertwaddle here on this thread is being menaced by an up and coming pretender to the throne.

Shall I tell you which thread that is?

No. I think I'll just let you figure it out for yourselves. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:39 PM

You threatenin' MOM?? Huh? Are you? Either take that back or else!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:49 PM

MWahahaha. Little Hawk is projecting again. The only pretender in the lists for Sesquipedalian Blathertwaddle is he, himself; he is doomed to stare into the middle distance, brave of mien, for all eternity, ready for a foe who will never bother to appear....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:51 PM

LOL! So that is how you see me, is it? Sort of a latter day Don Quixote?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:54 PM

YEah, except you tilt at imaginary primates instead of windmills.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 01:00 PM

Works for me. ;-) Windmills are so, like, "last week", know what I mean?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 01:18 PM

26200!

Windmills are the wave of the future.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 01:38 PM

We make windmills here in Pocatello. Not like the Dutch ones, but the ones that make lectricity.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 01:49 PM

Oh, well that's different. To tilt against those would be the height of folly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 02:29 PM

You'd be as shocked as I was if you did.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 02:49 PM

No doubt.