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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Nov 08 - 10:52 PM
Acme 23 Nov 08 - 01:00 AM
Amos 23 Nov 08 - 01:28 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 08 - 03:35 PM
Acme 23 Nov 08 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 08 - 07:15 PM
Acme 24 Nov 08 - 05:24 PM
Amos 24 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM
Acme 25 Nov 08 - 12:33 AM
Amos 25 Nov 08 - 09:46 AM
Little Hawk 25 Nov 08 - 01:18 PM
Amos 25 Nov 08 - 04:33 PM
Little Hawk 25 Nov 08 - 04:41 PM
Amos 25 Nov 08 - 06:40 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 25 Nov 08 - 07:01 PM
Amos 25 Nov 08 - 08:25 PM
Acme 25 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM
Amos 25 Nov 08 - 09:26 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 25 Nov 08 - 10:07 PM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 09:38 AM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 08 - 12:08 PM
Acme 26 Nov 08 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 08 - 01:00 PM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 08 - 01:55 PM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 02:14 PM
Little Hawk 26 Nov 08 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 08 - 10:07 PM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 08 - 10:16 PM
Amos 26 Nov 08 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 08 - 10:42 PM
MMario 27 Nov 08 - 12:27 AM
Acme 27 Nov 08 - 12:37 AM
Amos 27 Nov 08 - 04:59 AM
MMario 27 Nov 08 - 07:43 AM
Acme 27 Nov 08 - 10:07 AM
Amos 27 Nov 08 - 10:10 AM
Amos 27 Nov 08 - 02:50 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 08 - 05:23 PM
Acme 27 Nov 08 - 05:41 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 08 - 06:56 PM
Amos 27 Nov 08 - 08:58 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 08 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 08 - 10:06 PM
Amos 27 Nov 08 - 10:40 PM
Acme 28 Nov 08 - 12:45 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 08 - 01:47 AM
Acme 28 Nov 08 - 01:55 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 10:52 PM

SOmetimes they used two of those Thracian bicycles side by side, with a big box balanced on the top in between them, to move goods and heavy objects. They'd tie a donkey to the front and make him pull them. Damn clever, these Thracians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 01:00 AM

Or an ox, as in Ox pulls a box. I actually was looking more for the "Thrace" end of things, but nothing. I couldn't tease more for the story out of that link.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 01:28 PM

Original story can be found here.

Bookmeister needs to hit the books to discover how a chariot differs from a bicycle (or an intergalactic scout survey vessel).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 03:35 PM

Glory be! I wonder how I missed that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 04:06 PM

Thank you! Very interesting.

I think MOM needs to get out and get some exercise today, it's going to get cold outside soon. Unless she's invited to go hang out in San Diego for a while and go kayaking with Amos?

Has she ever asked to get back in a boat again after that unfortunate incident when the Legion guys sank her and her Boston whaler a couple of years ago? It was inexcusable, to be discharging firearms and ancient artillery in the dark. Just cause MOM had a light over the water to attract fish was not an invitation to those idiots to fire at will at what they thought was a low-flying alien craft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 07:15 PM

Well, Mom shouldn't have yelled "Thar she blows!" either. You have to admit that not every Legion post in a land-locked state has a harpoon cannon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Nov 08 - 05:24 PM

MOM! MOM! Wake up--you've been dreaming that the Mudcat went away, and by golly, it did! You have to be more disciplined in your REM sleep!

Whew!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM

Harpoon cannon???? Hey--you guys interested in a little business deal with some Japanese colleagues of mine?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 12:33 AM

Naw, none of us is interesting in wearing mink[e].


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 09:46 AM

HEy Mom:

Today I am going to the Temple of the Medicos. I am not sure whether they want to canonize or sacrifice me.

But when the Temple calls, Eveyrman must answer.

If I don't come back, give my sense of humor to Rapaire and my humility and discernment to Little Hawk, and my earthy sensuality to Still. You can throw the rest out.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 01:18 PM

Gosh...I...I almost hope he doesn't come back...

Imagine if I could have Amos's humility and discernment! Whoosh. The mind boggles. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 04:33 PM

Wel, we'll have to share. The procedure was complete and successful. I am still surfacing from a purple haze of full-system anesthetic, but at lease I can write run-on sentences again. Why, you may well ask, given the various conditions of risk inherent in any modern medical procedure, and my own temperament, to which you all have been adequately exposed to establish at least a rudimentary familiarity, through our long acquaintance here at MOAB, should I have to, or at least now be enabled to, write sentences thought of as run-on in their grammatical construction? It had been cooncerned that they would send me home with a semi-colon.


But I will use what they gave me: a complete colon. And I shall strive: to us eit with care, and never abuse it, amongst those for whom I care: the children of the MOPAB.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 04:41 PM

I remember being cooncerned once. One of the bastards had me cornered in the garage. He demanded garbage "or else".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 06:40 PM

--
I am content to follow to its source
Every event, in action or in thought;
Measure the lot, forgive myself the lot!
When such as I cast out remorse,
So great a sweetness flows into the breast
We must laugh and we must sing.
We are blest by everything
Everything we look upon is blest.

Dialogue of Self and Soul, W.B. Yeats


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 07:01 PM

Hey, Mom! While Amos had people looking for his head, I went to Indiana! Here I am, Mom, in the Nation's heartland, back where Little Orphant Annie came to dream about the moonlight on the children's hole.

But the call of the Old West is strong, Mom, mostly because that's where my paycheck comes from, so I'll be going back there on Saturday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 08:25 PM

It was not who was looking there, Rapaire--it was a misled medico. He was disappointed in his search, though.

The temple bell
Stops ringing
But the sound keeps coming
Out of the flowers


Basho


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM

I gotta do the same thing in a few weeks. Will I have to write run-on sentences also?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 09:26 PM

I guess it depends on whether you end up with a repaired colon or a semi-colon. If it is just passing muster on inspection, so to speak, you may carry on as you wrote.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 10:07 PM

Shucks, I had it inspected last January. Doc said, "See ya in five years, boy."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 09:38 AM

Well, Mom, I am back at my honest labours despite having been through two medical invasions in five days. Thanks to my lucky stars and stellar core constitution, the tooth extraction is healed up and the other thing is all taken care of. Next month, ocular implants. We are the Cyborg--resistance is futile!! Getting old has its rewards, but it also has its penalties!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 11:47 AM

Not only did I go through a tooth extraction on Saturday and this damn alien probe operation on Tuesday, I also played a four-hour gig on Sunday, full of rowdy skippers and seadogs. I mean to tell ya, there's no rest for the wicked, Mom. Isn't that right? You should know.

On the other hand being Wicked has its own rewards, just as virtue has its own damnation. Just ask any candle how dark life would be if it couldn't be wicked.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 12:08 PM

The seven deadly virtues, those ghastly little traps
Oh no, my liege, they were not meant for me
Those seven deadly virtues were made for other chaps
Who love a life of failure and ennui
Take courage-now there's a sport
An invitation to the state of rigor mort
And purity-a noble yen
And very restful every now and then
I find humility means to be hurt
It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt
Honesty is fatal, it should be taboo
Diligence-a fate I would hate
If charity means giving, I give it to you
And fidelity is only for your mate
You'll never find a virtue unstatusing my quo or making my Beelzebubble burst
Let others take the high road, I will take the low
I cannot wait to rush in where angels fear to go
With all those sevn deadly virtues free and happy little me has not been cursed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 12:46 PM

Indiana seems to agree with you. Are your relatives wondering why you're off in a corner by yourself scribbling or googling for adaptation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:00 PM

"being Wicked has its own rewards"

I guess that's what impelled you to get involved with that disgusting simian slut, Chinga, was it, Amos? Have you noticed any odd symptoms appearing yet in the nether regions?

I had a wisdom tooth extracted a couple of weeks ago...my first tooth extraction ever...and I was expecting to be in some pain afterwards. Amazingly enough, I experienced no pain or swelling or any kind of unpleasant symptoms after the freezing wore off. I'd hardly have known that I'd had a tooth taken out, except I could feel the missing spot with my tongue. Once again the finest dental office in Canada lives up to its well-deserved reputation for excellence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:22 PM

As did the finest in Mexico. But, stay! What credence in yonder skeptic doth appear? It is belief in Chinga, bright as dawn, and Little Hawk the sun!! How now the overdone protests, the tearful plaints, the vows of unfair vilification! The author imputes fleas to those who copy his mongrel, and in doing so, asserts that they are fully as real as his own.

Scratch in peace, Little Hawk!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:55 PM

I've decided it's more fun to pretend she's real. ;-) (But she ain't Chongo's sister. She's a pretender to that throne.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 02:14 PM

You don't get to tell us what she is. Only her Author can do that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 05:03 PM

Well, I'm just giving you my opinion. I think she's a golddigging wannabee who wants to ride on Chongo's coattails, him being famous and all. It's not the first time that sort of thing has happened. Imagine what would occur if he suddenly got rich! I bet there'd be lost "relatives" emerging by the score.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:07 PM

You're ALL goldigging wannabees riding on MY coat tails to greatness.

But then, I created you all...well, I'll have better luck next time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:13 PM

Well, that seems highly improbable, given the cruel neglect of both her and her mom exercised by Chongo all these years. You can bet they wouldn't let the bum into their house OR their houses.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:16 PM

Fie on goodness, fie
Fie on goodness, fie
Eight years of kindness to your neighbor
Making sure that the meek are treated well
Eight years of philanthropic labor
Derry down dell
Damn, but it's hell
Oh, fie on goodness, fie
Fie, fie, fie

It's been depressing all the way (derry down, derry down)
And getting glummer every day (derry down, derry down)

KNIGHT 1
Ah, but to burn a little town or slay a dozen men
Anything to laugh again

ALL
Oh, fie on goodness, fie
Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie

KNIGHT 1
When I think of the rollicking pleasures that earlier filled my life
Lolly lo, lolly lo
Like the time I beheaded a man who was beating his naked wife

ALL
Lolly lo, lolly lo

KNIGHT 1
I can still hear his widow say
Never moving from where she lay
"Tell me what can I do, I beg, sir, of you
Your kindness to repay"

ALL
Fie on goodness, fie
Fie on goodness, fie

KNIGHT 2
Lechery and vice have been arrested

KNIGHT 3
Arrested!

KNIGHT 2
Not a maiden is evermore in threat
Virgins may wander unmolested

KNIGHT 4
Unmolested!

ALL
Lolly lo let
Gad, it's a sweat
Oh, fie on goodness, fie
Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie

KNIGHT 5
How we roared and brawled in Scotland
Not a law was e'er obeyed
And when wooing called in Scotland
We'd grab any pasing maid
Ah, my heart is still in Scotland
Where the lasses woo the best
On some bonny hill in Scotland
Stroking someone's bonny...

CHORUS
Fie on Scotland, fie
Fie on Scotland, fie

No one repents for any sin now
Every soul is immaculate and trim

SOME KNIGHTS
Immaculate!

CHORUS
No one is covered with chagrin now
Lolly lo lim
Gad, but it's grim
Oh, fie on goodness, fie
Fie, fie, fie

There's not a folly to deplore
Derry down, derry down
Confession Sunday is a bore
Derry down, derry down

KNIGHT 1
Ah, but to spend a tortured evening staring at the floor
Guilty and alive once more

CHORUS
Oh, fie on virtue, fie
Fie on mercy, fie
Fie on justice
Fie on goodness

Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:40 PM

Why, Rapaire!! A straight lift from Camelot!!! How positively charming!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:42 PM

Two, actually. Without a word being changed, Amos.

My Thanksgiving gifts to Mom and everyone: two songs that truly warm the very cockles and mussels of my heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 12:27 AM

I just thought he was channeling Modred.

Hey! How come the villians get all the fun songs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 12:37 AM

Have a good Thanksgiving, folks!

Stay healthy, and be sure to refrigerate that stuffing before it grows into raging case of food poisoning. You don't want MOM in the hospital again like she was a few years ago after the debacle with sausage and oysters in the stuffing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 04:59 AM

Barky's home. My wee bairnette has blossomed into a thoughtful, funny, insightful beautiful musical genius in her 20's. A pure joy to have around the auld hearth, I am telling you!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 07:43 AM

Mom just told my she hopes Amos is just suffering from insomnia - and Barky wasn't staggering home at nearly 2 am in the morning. she knows what it is to wait up for children.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 10:07 AM

My beautiful bairn will come rolling in with her boyfriend late this afternoon, hat-in-hand, needing cash to get more work done in the car. But it will still be wonderful to see her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 10:10 AM

Congrats to both of us!!

No, she landed at 8:50pm locql time, and I was just u[ in the night, yes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 02:50 PM

The kitchen is steaming with sweet smells, and barkie and her Mom are bustling thither and yon making up plates of sweet-smelling concoctions, salads and sausage and a huge turkey in the oven covered with fat bacon strips, and there is lovely rhythmic African world music playing n the itunes, and we are awaiting guests, and all is right with the world in this very moment in space and time; Mumbai and the economic chaos notwithstanding.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 05:23 PM

Humph. Some of us don't have family and friends with whom to spend the holidays. Instead we huddle in a cardboard box under the freeway, eating cheap ham-n-beans heated over a can of sterno, which we squeeze for a drop of holiday cheer after our meal is heated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 05:41 PM

Is that a Royal US?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 06:56 PM

We in Canada had Thanksgiving way back in October. You people are way behind the times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 08:58 PM

MWahahaha. DOwn here we call that premature celebration, LH.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:50 PM

I betcha we have our next national election before you too. But that won't be any cause for celebration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 10:06 PM

Yes, it's terrible to be alone and unloved on a holiday like Thanksgiving. But I give thanks that this is the third time in a row I've snagged a hundred.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 10:40 PM

Oh, ya, me too, Rapaire. We are all very proud of you for that, yepper.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 12:45 AM

Cold consolation, those century markers, when compared to hot turkey and warm smiles around a Thanksgiving table.

IMHO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 01:47 AM

Yes, but what about turkeys on Thanksgiving? Other than that one whom Sarah Palin pardoned, they have little to celebrate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 08 - 01:55 AM

Mostly, turkeys (in general) are upset that the Turkey Palin (in particular) is giving the rest of them a bad name.


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