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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Nov 08 - 04:25 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 04:20 PM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 08 - 04:08 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 04:03 PM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 08 - 09:05 AM
MMario 03 Nov 08 - 08:45 AM
Amos 03 Nov 08 - 12:04 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 08 - 10:02 PM
Acme 02 Nov 08 - 09:48 PM
Janie 02 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 08 - 08:44 PM
Janie 02 Nov 08 - 07:49 PM
Acme 02 Nov 08 - 07:34 PM
Amos 02 Nov 08 - 07:19 PM
Amos 02 Nov 08 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 08 - 06:11 PM
Acme 02 Nov 08 - 02:08 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 08 - 09:55 AM
Amos 02 Nov 08 - 09:19 AM
Acme 02 Nov 08 - 09:05 AM
Acme 02 Nov 08 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 08 - 12:01 AM
Amos 01 Nov 08 - 11:53 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:10 PM
Acme 01 Nov 08 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 08 - 10:43 AM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 08 - 09:59 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 05:03 PM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 03:55 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 02:52 PM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 02:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 02:16 PM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 01:06 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 12:19 PM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 12:11 PM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 11:33 AM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 04:25 PM

Now that Little Hawk has exposed his sentiments like a beery overweight football fan mooning from a team bus window, I am beginning to understand where the drag on Mom's best creative aspirations come from. It is clearly a conspiracy between Book Man and Beaver Boy, to bind her to the mediocre, chain her to the compromised plane of insufferable average thought, and tie her down to the inept and uninspired levels which only they can represent so well.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 04:20 PM

Progeny? No, certainly not...LH, you don't mean...That Man From San Diego might be...nah, it couldn't be...could it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 04:08 PM

There are few who can touch Julia A. Moore's poetic gifts, except, of course, for the great William McGonagall, he who has no peer. What a splendid couple they would have made, and THINK of the stunning collaborative works which might have resulted from such a match made in poetic heaven!

And they might have had progeny, the descendants of which would still be with us today, continuing to write.

The world has really missed out on something there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 04:03 PM

One more day; the Day of the CellPhone VOter is upon us....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 10:01 AM

A new low for Mom, indeed, Rapaire!! You may add another notch to your belt of down-scale milestones made by your own hand. That was truly abysmal, and free of any tinge of merit, either as BS or as poetry. You have outdone your most awful self. You verge on Personal Shatnerization, an evanescent state of transcendental medocrity which, I add hopefully, may be accompanied by mystic south-bound spontaneous evaporation, as befits such a crystalline pool of purest piddle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 09:40 AM

Now that my brother's October 8 birthday is long past (in fact the birthdays of both bothers are past), I will post this wonderful poem which celebrates another October 8 event very similar to my brother's birth:

The Great Chicago Fire
        Julia A. Moore

The great Chicago Fire, friends,
Will never be forgot;
In the history of Chicago
It will remain a darken spot.
It was a dreadful horrid sight
To see that City in flames;
But no human aid could save it,
For all skill was tried in vain.

In the year of 1871,
In October on the 8th,
The people in that City, then
Was full of life, and great.
Less than four days it lay in ruins,
That garden City, so great
Lay smouldering in ashes,
In a sad and pitiful state.

It was a sad, sad scene indeed,
To see the fire arise,
And hear the crackling of the flames
As it almost reached the skies,
And sadder still, to hear the moans,
Of people in the flames
Cry for help, and none could get,
Ah, die where they remained.

To see the people run for life;
Up and down the blazing streets,
To find then, their escape cut off
By the fiery flaming sheets,
And others hunting for some friend
That perhaps they never found,
Such weeping, wailing, never was known,
For a thousands miles around.

Some people were very wealthy
On the morning of the 10th.
But at the close of the evening,
Was poor, but felt content,
Glad to escape from harm with life
With friends they loved so well,
Some will try to gain more wisdom,
By the sad sight they beheld.

Five thousand people were homeless,
Sad wanderers in the streets,
With no shelter to cover them,
And no food had they to eat.
They wandered down by the lake side,
Lay down on the cold damp ground,
So tired and weary and homeless,
So the rich, the poor, was found.

Mothers with dear little infants,
Some clinging to the breast.
People of every description
All laid down there to rest,
With the sky as their covering,
Ah, pillows they had none.
Sad, oh sad, it must have been,
For those poor homeless ones.

Neighboring Cities sent comfort,
To the poor lone helpless ones,
And God will not forget them
In all the years to come.
Now the City of Chicago
Is built up anew once more,
And may it never be visited
With such a great fire no more.
------------
For your future enjoyment of this poem, note that it can easily be sung to the tune of "Puttin' On The Style" although you have to create your own chorus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 09:05 AM

All the universes are one to Amos.

It's simpler that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 08:45 AM

? Is Amos talking dirty? Sounds it, with sheafs, and eigenstates and new universes being created.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 08 - 12:04 AM

Glun only humps you , Rapaire, because you so uncertain. Mostly he likes to watch sheafs of possible eigenstates fall into symmetry and count the parallel universes thereby brought into being.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 10:02 PM

Find Gluon and send her/it/him, assuming you can get cooperation instead of leg humping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 09:48 PM

But this is where String Theory comes in handy.

Tie a string to a new worm and send it through to see where it comes out (or IF it comes out).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 09:20 PM

Yeh, I know. Those danged wormholes to other universes be so danged powerful they can even chew out the insides of the mighty oak!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 08:44 PM

The center of those oak stumps were probably already holes when they were cut down. That happens to big old oaks. Ma Nature hollows 'em out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 07:49 PM

Well, Mom, while the boys were busy sniping at each other I saw 4 private clients, cleaned house, including mopping both the vinyl and the hardwood floors, raked leaves, did the grocery shopping, and continued to ponder where to plant the beautious and exotic japanese azalea Bobert brought to me at the Getaway.

I also counted the number of trees of significant size on my 100x145 lot.

Twnety-two. Mostly oaks of some sort with a few maples, some long-leaf pines, and one old and sick looking hemlock. Plus a few redbuds and old dogwoods that are tall and spindly from not enough sun under the canapy of the larger trees. Sister Annie came down a few weeks ago, and we committed a texas chainsaw execution to a number of smallish white pines that had cropped up at inopportune locations.

There are some whopper stumps from old oaks that had hollowed out and were taken down at some point.    I suspect at least some of holes in the center of those stumps lead to wormholes. I need to figure out which ones by spring so I don't plant ferns in them. Wormholes hate it when you clog their entryways with fern roots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 07:34 PM

I'll pull out a box of photos and show some to MOM tonight. I have to find the photos I took in 2004 when Stan James was singing at the Rainy Camp I was able to visit that year. sniff


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 07:19 PM

BEsides a Belgian Waffle with fresh cream and strawberries on it.


So there.

And I sent money to Obama. Neeener. Even though I already voted for him.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 06:27 PM

I have provided her with many more wonderful opsts than you have, so I suppose that compensates for your imaginary foodstuffs.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 06:11 PM

I provided her with much nourishment: a rich assortment of croissants both regular and sweet, home-cured bacon and sausages, steel-cut oatmeal with maple sugar and pecans, and an apple streudel, with hot spiced apple cider to drink.

Amos provided her with nothing, nought, zero.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 02:08 PM

Well? Did you get Mom something to eat? It's brunch by now. Add some ham or breakfast sausage to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 09:55 AM

Au contraire, mon vieux -- zero is an Arabic invention. As I am sure you are aware, there is a difference.

I am sure, of course, that you are aware of the Paradoxes of Zeno of Elea and the discussion of zero therein, that Pingala (around the 3rd Century BCE, more or less) was using zero in calculations in India (where zero had been used as early as the 9th Century BCE), that it was used in Chiapas on the Long Count stela in 36 BCE, and that as long ago as the Song Dynasty mathematicians in China understood both negative numbers and zero (although they had no symbol for it). Naturally, by 130 CE Ptolemy, as influenced by Hipparchus, was using a symbol for zero.

But why should I go on? I'm certain you know all of this and likewise certain that you chose to ignore the multinational, indeed global, roots of mathematics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 09:19 AM

It make look like grace to you, but you will notice that the main component in all your graceful numbers is a big fat zero. And we all know that ZERO is a Muslim invention.

Why do you hate America, Rapaire?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 09:05 AM

I think MOM stayed up to watch the atomic clock change the time last night. She was looking kind of tired so I let her sleep longer this morning. Maybe Rap will wake her with some of those fancy-pants breakfast cakes and some hot coffee (in a mug of course, not a paper cup).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 12:28 AM

I wasn't here, but thanks for the thought.

Time to change my clocks and smoke alarm batteries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 08 - 12:01 AM

Amos, look at the mathematical grace here:

Base-2        110010110010000
Base-3        1022122222
Base-4        12112100
Base-5        1313000
Base-6        320212
Base-7        135542
Base-8        62620
Base-9        38588
Base-10        26000

and compare that to the ugly, ungraceful, inelegant:

Base-2        110010110010001
Base-3        1022200000
Base-4        12112101
Base-5        1313001
Base-6        320213
Base-7        135543
Base-8        62621
Base-9        38600
Base-10        26001

If I were you I wouldn't brag, but then I suppose one has to brag about the little one has.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 11:53 PM

Ha. HAH!!! 26001!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:12 PM

And I'll snag 26,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:12 PM

So I'll let her have the palindrome (26062), which is good one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:11 PM

And nobody except SRS and I have posted much recently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:10 PM

Mom's so close to 26K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:10 PM

Bill gives his money via State Libraries and most of it for techno stuff. Bookmobiles aren't techy enough for his bunch.

Maybe I'll ask out Congressional folks to put it into a money bill as pork. Everything else goes in, why not a bookmobile for us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 12:24 PM

Ask Bill Gates, maybe his foundation has a little cash. Get a bidding war going between the Gates and the Waltons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 08 - 10:43 AM

If I'm not paranoid, why do the voices in my head keep telling me to beware of that man who stands across the street staring at my house?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:59 PM

The paranoia mounts...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:55 PM

MWAHhahahahahahahahahahahaha!! You have been reading Little Hawk's posts again, haven't you????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM

Of course, if any of you has a spare $150,000 or so laying around (that's spare change for Amos) we'd be happy to name a Bookmobile after you.

You'd also make a lot of kids happy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 05:03 PM

Yes, an excellent book. Actually, Walmart's state money committee said to contact the national money committee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 03:55 PM

bookmobile - reminds me of a book my Mom had in the book couch; Parnassus on wheels - I think that was the title.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 02:52 PM

FIe! Fie!! Walmart is so...so...ANTI-Book! And that's ANTI-AMerican!! WHy does Walmart hate America?

(12)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 02:40 PM

Shame on WalMart!
(13)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 02:16 PM

Oh, I'd applied for a $150,000 grant in the name of the Friends of the Library from Walmart for a bookmobile. Less than what we needed, but I figured I could get the rest from other sources.

Damn. It'll be a little longer, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 02:03 PM

What grant was that ? Did I miss something?

(15)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:37 PM

We didn't get the Walmart grant!

S**t.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM

and people think Nostredamus was good at prediction. HE couldn't hold a candle to D. Gottwinkle!

(18)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:06 PM

Dear Mom, we're only nineteen posts
From the 26 of K;
And as we near that mighty peak
Your kids would like to say
That it really has beeen great to grow
In a house that's such a mess
Where every room, and every hall
Is lined with pure BS.

Dear Mom, we've all learned many things
From this flood of clever talk,
The plagiarism of Rapaire
And the dreams of Little Hawk
We've learned the wit of BW_Ell,
Who keeps pots against his brain,
The mystic light of Rustic Reb,
And the song of Bunnhabain.

We heard the lonesome blues of Tweed
Spilling into an ocher sea;
And Stilly's bravest words and deeds,
And young Gluon's cosmic glee.
There have been more worlds uncovered here
Than all Horatio's tomes
With duck-dogs, freds, and Chinga Chimp
Enlivening our home.

So Mother, sure, there is no doubt
That we really need to say
Thanks for the ride, as we all head out
Toward the 26 of K.
It is to you we turn our eyes
When burdens grow too great,
And we will grow your BS still,
When the Kays reach twenty-eight.

Raise up your mugs, you MOABites,
ANd give a rousing "Yes!"
As we salute our sainted Mom,
The Mother of All BS.

Donnifrew Gottwinkle IV
The Child's Weekly Reader, December 13, 1893
Vol 7, issue xc


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:39 PM

A nation in love with rust!! How the mighty have fallen...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:19 PM

I have a set of mugs at work which I use. I buy coffee in the motel-type filter packs so I don't waste things, and for the cups and stuff that we might use for public events, etc. -- the city buys biodegradable cups and paper plates.

The police are even using biodegradable ammo in biodegradable guns, only shooting biodegradable people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:11 PM

I'm posting this on a couple of threads, and I know MOM would approve because she ALWAYS drinks her coffee and tea out of mugs, not paper cups: The Trust for Public Land will get up to $20,000 if you pledge to drink your brew in a mug. Of course they're hoping to sell java, but I unchecked the box about receiving further information.

http://www.goodearthcoffee.com/pledge.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:33 AM

I have received a FedEx letter from Chinga in Chicago stating that she is getting in touch with a good lawyer, and plans to sue CHongo for alienation of family affection, slander, defamation of character, and fiscal malfeasance with campaign funds. Seems a couple of her Milawukee johns told her about a huge party in the Chicago Playboy mansion they had been to, where CHongo footed a very large bill and a lot of grabass was going on. She wanted me to know in case I got subpoenaed. LG, I guess you should be similarly alerted, just in case you have to give a deposition.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM

I carved two pumpkins last night, the old fashioned way. They have great big eyes and scary gaping mouths, and chafing-dish candles inside, and they look brilliant in the dark.

I learned from a young friend (20-something) that these days what the young folks do is buy a kit, complete with tracing stencils for design and special little knives. A KIT!! For making Jack O'Lanterns??!!!! Here's my kit: one grease pencil or marker, one long kitchen knife, one small kitchen knife, one big spoon, one pumpkin, one candle.

STENCILS?? Draw your own magic, I sez. We don' need no steenkin' stencils.

Ptui!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM

I started working on a new spot of garden last weekend, but this afternoon I'll have to go tidy up lest one of the idiots parents of the trick-or-treaters decides to take a short-cut across the lawn and trip and fall. The kids usually seem better about staying on the path than the parents. I have to put the dogs in for the evening and turn off the side light to keep folks away from walking in that new flower bed (it will be lovely, daffodils, irises, and Janie's poppies).


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