Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Mar 06 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 06 - 09:01 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 06 - 06:49 PM
GUEST,Veronica Rutledtge 11 Mar 06 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 06 - 05:47 PM
Amos 11 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM
Acme 11 Mar 06 - 11:17 AM
Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 06 - 10:00 AM
Amos 11 Mar 06 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 11 Mar 06 - 09:28 AM
Rustic Rebel 10 Mar 06 - 07:27 PM
Acme 10 Mar 06 - 05:41 PM
Acme 10 Mar 06 - 04:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 06 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 06 - 03:11 PM
Acme 10 Mar 06 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 06 - 08:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 06 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM
Acme 09 Mar 06 - 09:23 PM
Amos 09 Mar 06 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 06 - 07:11 PM
Amos 09 Mar 06 - 06:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 06 - 01:07 PM
Amos 09 Mar 06 - 11:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 06 - 10:41 AM
Acme 09 Mar 06 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 06 - 09:03 AM
Acme 08 Mar 06 - 11:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Mar 06 - 07:26 PM
Amos 08 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM
Acme 08 Mar 06 - 04:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Mar 06 - 03:22 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 08 Mar 06 - 03:00 PM
Acme 08 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM
Amos 08 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 06 - 09:03 AM
Amos 07 Mar 06 - 10:54 PM
Acme 07 Mar 06 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 06 - 10:14 PM
MOAB 07 Mar 06 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 06 - 07:34 PM
Amos 07 Mar 06 - 05:39 PM
MMario 07 Mar 06 - 04:16 PM
Amos 07 Mar 06 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 06 - 12:44 PM
Amos 07 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 06 Mar 06 - 11:27 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 10:49 PM

You call that a party? Over here in Tejas they round up the barbecue trailers and cook the goat, beef, pork, and chicken with lots of secret sauces. Same with bean recipes. Get a bunch of long necks in a bunch of coolers, set out under the picnic shelter or porch (or for many folks, the open garage) and have yerself a good time.

Where I grew up in the PacNW, however, we were always looking for excuses to barbecue or grill salmon or halibut or trout or steelhead, any of our good cold water fish. Mmmmmm!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 09:01 PM

Ronnie baby, you've never been to Southern California, have you? Never been to one of the parties they throw out there? Lemme tell ya, sweets, that it's not your drink-tea-with-your-little-finger-crooked English parties, but a party. None of those long dresses unless they're slit up to your navel and meets your decolletage at a tiny button. None of that fugueing chamber music, either. They aren't tea-and-crumpets things, Ronnie babe, but more like tea-and-strumpets. Why, if the cops don't come to a SoCal party it was a flop! You oughta attend one, babes. Maybe Amos'll invite you to the next one he has, but you'll have to really learn to like MD 20/20, Boone's Farm, and Cheez Whiz first.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 06:49 PM

Veronica my sweet, naive, old bag young thing. Those are the type of people I invite to my parties!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Veronica Rutledtge
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 05:55 PM

That's all very well, but if you want to be invited to people's parties and get togethers then it is imperative to remain in their good graces, isn't it? A complete lack of inhibitions should only be reserved for those private moments, in my opinion.

* Veronica


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 05:47 PM

... uninhibited... But then, I'm like, "What would people think?"

Tsk. If you were uninhibited you wouldn't care what people thought. Did Einstein care what people thought about his General and Special theories? Did Newton care what people thought about the calculus or his idea of gravity? Did Rene Descartes care about what people thought about his thought, and if he did care, would he have disappeared? Did Werner Von Braun care what people thought? Or Stravinski? Or Beethoven? Or Huddie Ledbetter? Or Adolf Hitler? Or Cecil Rhodes? Or Mother Theresa? Or John XXIII? Or Jack the Ripper? Or Charlemagne? Or Aristotle?

No sir! They were all uninhibited, just like everyone who has made a lasting mark on the world. They would skip naked among the hollyhocks just as frequently as they would do something to help the poor or depraved. Your inhibitions are caused by what you think people will think, and it is preventing you from reaching your full potential. Please, for your sake, remember that if you painted your body bright yellow and ran around town yelling "Choo! Choo! I'm a train!" no one would think badly of you -- they would know that you are a person of genius and would be envious of the impression you will make on the world.

Besides, you live in Southern California and no one would notice anyway.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM

Sometimes, like my noble friend, the esteemed and scholarly Rapaire, I too am tempted to release the thin edge of rule and go forth wild and free, unschooled, unkempt, undisciplined, uninhibited, uncompressed, untrained, unruly, unhampered, unafraid, and without barriers.

But then, I'm like, "What would people think?"

So I don't.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 11:17 AM

My next door neighbor just emailed this to me.

    How to install a wireless security system:

    Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work
    boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on
    top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside
    it, a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that
    says something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get
    more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr. Don't disturb the pit
    bulls. They've just been wormed and they are a little edgy."


I'm finished checking my email, I took my dogs for a walk and fed them. I still don't have a voice and I feel like crap and need to go sleep. You all carry on without me today.

Where'd I leave that netti pot? . . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 10:00 AM

But Rapaire-
Is not living the 'School of Life'?
Is not Moab the 'School of Life's Moral Teachings'?
Is not Mudcat Cafe the 'School of All Knowing, Seeing, Learning'?

:::School is in baby!:::


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 09:40 AM

I think you mean "and", not "so. Not so? And mean you?


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 06 - 09:28 AM

Hi, Mom. It's Satruday, so I don't have to go to school.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 07:27 PM

I'd like to do a little monkey-wrenching around these parts myself, with the loggers, billboards, beaver-trappers (fucks don't even eat the meat), snowmobilers, and land developers. Funny you mention monkey-wrenching. I'm just now into Edward Abbey's-The Best Of- 1984 copy of shorts. His writing always has a tendency to rile me up!

Shoot them bastards and plant 'em in the garden, it'll put eyes on yer taters, ears on da corn, not to mention enough shit ta fertilize the hole damn plot!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 05:41 PM

Hey, Mom's getting out a little these days. She was just over on another thread wishing MMario a happy birthday. Good for you, Mom!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 04:30 PM

It wouldn't be that difficult to hire people who know something about pruning, or to give them some training. Instead they seem to go out of their way to hire cretins who smash and slash their way across private property. I hear regular stories like this on the weekly gardening program I listen to on a local radio station.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 04:01 PM

Why, yes! Invite them in for a cup of tea. Just don't forget the hemlock.

I still haven't fully recovered from my run-in with the right-of-way maintenance guys from our local power company almost a year ago. They are supposed to be able to clear back twelve feet or so from directly under the power lines. They drove their machinery at least forty feet onto my property, smashed or cut down my wife's privet bushes and did diddle-dee-shit about cleaning up after themselves. Then they came to the back side of the property, which is where our power line actually comes in, and commenced using chainsaws to clear a path through some of my most productive blueberry bushes. They stopped when a very angry Bee-dubya screamed at one of them which almost prompted a physical altercation.

Every time I drive by one of their pieces of equipment on the roadside I get an urge to monkeywrench it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 03:11 PM

I'm certain that if you invited them over and explained everything to them they'd have a good laugh.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 01:25 PM

Sugar in the gas tank works as well as anything. Doc did that, along with cutting down the billboards.

The trees, alas, are gone. It's bare-naked out there, we can see through to the boulevard on the other side of the strip of land. And all of what they're stirring up is kicking my allergies into high gear.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 06 - 08:46 AM

You sure you want me to tell her how to do that? It results in all sorts of questions by assorted law enforcement types, and they can clean out the local doughnut shop in nothing flat.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM

The five-minute epoxy trick works okay, but it doesn't have the official George Hayduke seal of approval. For that, you need good old-fashioned TNT.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:31 PM

The probably don't take the bulldozer home every night. Sneak over and fill the ignition keyhole with 5-minute epoxy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM

Why would you want to break down a castle door? Why not just knock politely and ask to be let in? People are usually pretty nice if you ask politely, especially if it's raining or something and you just want a place to keep dry, even if it's just under the eaves or in the barn. But you have to remember to close the barn door when you leave and it's nice to maybe help with the milking or hog slopping or stall mucking-out. Besides, doors can be expensive and if you break one down you'll have to pay for it, just as if you broke a window throwing rocks or playing baseball. I know that if I owned a castle and someone broke down my door I wouldn't be happy about it. I'd probably call the cops, because breaking down some else's door isn't very nice.

I don't know about breaking down your own door. That might not be impolite, but it could certainly be stupid. Unless you forgot your keys, of course. Then you could break down your own door because you had to get into the house and maybe there wasn't anyone inside to let you in. So that might be okay, but it was still pretty dumb to lock your keys in your house.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:23 PM

I could use one of those guns about now. Take out the bulldozer driver in one shot. They're knocking down the woods across the road from me to build ugly little dwellings on puny little yards for people who are so stupid that they'd move into a community ruled by an unelected government called a Home Owners Association.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 07:36 PM

No -- a little fart of the brain.

Same root as petard, a small belching cannon by one's own of which one is often hoist, a specialty tool used in breaking down castle doors.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 07:11 PM

A little pet crane? Cranes are pretty big birds and I don't think they'd make good pets.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 06:44 PM

Well at a quantum level, you could be transporting your attention to Little Hawk's computer and seen his similar bookmark, you know; there's one way to tell. If your mental quotient of mass (experientially defined as the resistance of attention to acceleration) increased markedly when placing attention on the bookmark, it was Little Hawk's. If not, it was just fatigue and un petit pête de crane.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 02:47 PM

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

One of my bookmarks is for this Shakespeare quotation site. Its description on my computer is "William Shakespeare Quotations". I just happened to glance at that description while looking for another bookmark and could have sworn it said "William Shatner Quotations". Maybe it's time for a vacation from Mudcatland.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 01:07 PM

I'm having a sign made that reads "Check Your Pistols And Perversions At the Circulation Desk."

The mother and two grandmothers went outside to see if they could find out where the dude went. It was good that they didn't catch him -- I'd rather have the headline that was in today's paper than one that reads "Librarians Lynch Pervert".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 11:10 AM

I think there's a song there, somewhere -- the Pervs of Pocatello...du-de-dum...

Break out the steak knives, and bring your zip guns round;
we're going to the library, somp'n big is going down;
'Cuz the words gone out, to all the pervs
The librarian's out of town.


Hmmmmmmm... it has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 10:41 AM

Seems like all the shit happens while you're out of town, Rapaire. Do you think all the perverts in Pocatello have a website where they can post messages like, "Mike the Librarian's out of town! Let's go to the library and do something fucked up!"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:48 AM

As equally appalling as that confrontation is the inability of that television web site to proofread the article put up there.

The boy was lucky to be able to escape. That's one sick puppy walking around with a steak knife.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:03 AM

So is the Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center. I can say this because now I'm back on my own computer in my own house and not using the GOR&CC's supplied connection.

I did not care for the GOR&CC. Next years the Conference is at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. I haven't been to the part of the world since 1968, before the Grand Ol' Opry moved outa the barn (you oughts see it now!). I may go. Maybe.

Off to work. See this. It was my "Good Morning!" phone call yesterday.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 11:57 PM

Tell me about Gatlinburg. I worked one summer at Sugarlands Visitor Center, just outside of town. Gatlinburg is awful. That whole strip of towns from Sevierville and Pigeon Forge on through is a huge tourist trap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 07:26 PM

Actually, I lied. Nashville is a great place to drive through on the way to someplace else. Memphis is never good to drive through unless it's between midnight and 6:00 AM. Gatlinburg is a blight on the face of humanity. The rest of the state is okay, I guess, but I'm still glad I usually traverse it from north to south or south to north so it's all over with in about two hours.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM

a place to empty the bladder and fill up your drink cup with ice and water.

In the final analysis there is no luxury in life that can replace a pot to pee in and a cup to drink from, as long as one does not confuse the two.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:22 PM

It's a very pretty state, BWL. And if they ever iron it out flat that drive from east to west on the Interstate will actually look like it feels--three times the distance that it shows on the map. All of those ups and downs and you realize the map doesn't begin to express the distances involved.

Those eastern hardwood forests are always easy on the eyes. And places like Nashville are handy for a hotel, a quick bite, or at least a place to empty the bladder and fill up your drink cup with ice and water.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 03:22 PM

I am glad Rapaire is goin' home. Not that Nashville isn't a real nice place or anything. It's an excellent place to drive through without stopping while on your way to someplace else. So is Memphis. So is Gatlinburg. Heck, so is the whole state of Tennessee for that matter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 03:00 PM

More later, y'all....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM

You can come catch fish in my stream in my back yard, but I don't think I'd want to eat them. Too much urban chemical activity in the area. They'd probably taste better, though, cause they eat natural fish food.

I tossed a dead bird down onto the stream bank yesterday, food for one of our displaced foxes or coyotes. Food courtesy my dogs, who caught an apparently slow dove. I suppose I could have kept it and eaten it, but didn't feel like learning how to cook one medium-sized bird. Reminds me of the essay in Mama Makes Up Her Mind about eating road kill--late model, Florida tags, intersection of a road and a state highway. This one would be "back yard bird, Edgecliff Village, semi-plucked but no punctures, slobbery with slight bruising."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM

Perhaps Rapaire is becoming a Shatner -- that sub-race of twisted souls who lurk between worlds, using their dark powers to make people try to take dumps in the wrong places and at inconvenient times? They cause accidents throughout the world. He may be showing early symptoms.

In many countries of the world, children are bullied during their potty-training years with threats that the Shatner will get them if they don't practice regularly.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:03 AM

Mom!! MOM!! MOM!!!

I get to go home today!!

Like I told Stilly, Mom, I'm tired of thin women in spike-heel patent leather boots walking around with grossly overweight men and people in cheap fake cowboy hats and mostly, Mom, I'm tired of wannabees. I can't escape the sound of fountains and waterfalls and they won't let me tickle a catfish out of the fake stream (they're real -- and decent-sized -- catfish and carp) and clean it and nail its head to a post to skin it like Willy Nelson said to do and make a fire and cook it either. And the building with a sign on it for Gibson guitars and mandolins sells cheap souvenirs!!! and has plastic statues of two horses standing on their hind legs holding what I think are ukuleles and wearing straw hats.

Right after lunch, Mom. Right after lunch.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 10:54 PM

Well, I would have second thoughts about any guest who makes a habit of giving permission to people he doesn't know real well to poop in other people's soups, Stilly. It's like the guy who can't answer the old riddle about the difference between drapes and bum-wad. You don't want to ask him over.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 10:24 PM

Yeah, but that bowl of soup of Amos' isn't going anywhere near MY dining room table. . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 10:14 PM

See? Mom understands!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 08:25 PM

Why yes, Mmario, you may piss in Clinton's coffee.

You may also pick up to five items from the following list and piss in them as well:

Clinton's guitar case
Clinton's guitar
Clinton's harmonica
Clinton's hat
Clinton's refrigerator
Clinton's car trunk
Clinton's left ear
Clinton's closet
Clinton's corn flakes
Clinton's wonton soup

Love,

Mom


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 07:34 PM

You are free to piss in Clinton's coffee. You are free to poop in Amos's soup. You are free! Free! Free to do whatever you want to do! You need not ask permission, you are free!! You can run down the streets of Toronto stark naked shouting "WOO WOO WOO!" at the top of your voice. You can snatch the hat off an OPP and tinkle in it. You can blow your nose in a lady's feather boa.

Of course, you might get arrested, punched in the nose, and have even more unpleasant things happen to you. But you are FREE!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 05:39 PM

Yes, dear, of course you may, but remember not to drip on the linen.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 04:16 PM

{whinge mode ON}

MOM!



Clinton Hammond is a party-pooper! He's no fun at all. Can I May I piss in his coffee?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 03:15 PM

Rapaire:

As the world's greatest triple-tonguer, and world-class swordsman, and general all-around wrangler, freebooter and jovial freethinker and leader of men's souls, I recommend to you whole heartedly the film Don Juan de Marco, a real soul-toucher.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 12:44 PM

I am my Conn and my Conn is me. We are one.

I'll refrain from telling you how I used to...college...young women...trumpet...me teaching them...never mind. Suffice to say that trumpeters have an advantage over guitar players because trumpeters learn to double and triple tongue.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM

Yeah. He should get down and learn from a real trumpet person like Rapaire, who practices 24/7 and is truly one with his instrument.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 06 - 11:27 PM

That's 'cause Wynton Marsallis is a zombie and doesn't need to breathe.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 21 November 5:05 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.