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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 28 Nov 13 - 07:26 AM
GUEST 28 Nov 13 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 03:08 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 13 - 06:20 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 06:49 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 07:01 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 28 Nov 13 - 09:10 PM
Acme 29 Nov 13 - 02:09 AM
Amos 29 Nov 13 - 05:04 AM
gnu 29 Nov 13 - 06:29 AM
Pete Jennings 29 Nov 13 - 06:38 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 29 Nov 13 - 02:44 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 01:20 AM
Pete Jennings 30 Nov 13 - 04:17 AM
Amos 30 Nov 13 - 04:52 AM
gnu 30 Nov 13 - 07:01 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 11:57 AM
gnu 30 Nov 13 - 12:16 PM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 10:43 PM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 01:14 AM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 07:52 AM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 11:30 AM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 12:44 PM
Acme 01 Dec 13 - 02:47 PM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 06:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 07:08 PM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 07:11 PM
Acme 01 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 09:41 PM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM
gnu 02 Dec 13 - 02:10 PM
Amos 02 Dec 13 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 13 - 05:09 PM
Acme 02 Dec 13 - 11:56 PM
gnu 03 Dec 13 - 07:02 AM
Rapparee 03 Dec 13 - 08:51 AM
gnu 03 Dec 13 - 11:32 AM
Amos 03 Dec 13 - 04:33 PM
Acme 03 Dec 13 - 07:38 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 13 - 09:14 PM
Amos 03 Dec 13 - 11:36 PM
gnu 04 Dec 13 - 08:14 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 13 - 09:50 AM
Pete Jennings 04 Dec 13 - 10:41 AM
gnu 04 Dec 13 - 11:46 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 07:26 AM

Happy NFL Day to my neighbours south of the border.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 11:58 AM

It is indeed a day to be thankful, and Sham and Chonga should be the most thankful of all as I haven't had time to do those little freebie jobs. Some other time, perhaps, when I'm in the neighborbood. Or...since I'll be in Churchill on February 6 perhaps Sham would liek to prove himself a True Canadian and meet me there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 03:08 PM

True Canadians don't GO to where polar bears are. If they are born where polar bears ARE and they learn about how not to get ett, sure. But I would not want to be on CBC news as the tourist that had the bad fortune to be the subject of an enquiry about the safety of polar bear watching tours.

BTW, count the dogs... often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 06:20 PM

Sorry but the last guest was me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 06:49 PM

Nooo... beat ya to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 07:01 PM

I am becoming increasingly concerned about LH's lack of posting. Could it be he is getting a grip on reality?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 09:10 PM

Ya want I should call him?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 02:09 AM

Maybe LH is busy having a life instead of creating so many characters. :)

I pushed IE 11 back out again this evening. It doesn't display the Outlook web site properly. Even though I deselected WebLite it always showed that way. So I removed the update and the stupid machine went back to IE9. So I downloaded IE10 and now it looks just fine. Grrrr.

The turkey came out fabulous. You'd have all just loved it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 05:04 AM

HE may have gone back to Cuba, or off to a lamaserie in the highlands. He's unpredictable, independent, self-defined, fleet of foot and vivid of imagination. This is a dangerous combination.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 06:29 AM

SRS... did the counter surfer get any turkey?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 06:38 AM

Wherever he is, I'd like to see him back here where he belongs...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 02:44 PM

He knows where he belongs. Personally, I think he's just been stoned for all this time. He'll be back when he gets the munchies bad enough.

Of course, he could be in hospital, or have been foreclosed on and is now living as a homeless bum, or he could be in jail and sharing a cell with Shame, or be so business with his election campaign that he just can't get away, or be pounding sand down some frackin' hole, or be shacked up with some some floozie.

Ya never know about him, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 01:20 AM

I can hardly wait to get home so I can start practicing Canadian so I won't sound like a furriner and will be able to ask for beer. I think the last if "Tiene Usted any bierre?" or maybe "Ma chere, une Bleu, danke." See, Canada is full of loonies and ya gotta talk right to 'em or they'll laugh at ya, at least until you pull out a big wad of US dollars. Then they'll queu up because toilet paper is in short supply in the north. It helps to carry twenty fives "just in case."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 04:17 AM

"Un pression s'il vous plait" will do it, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 04:52 AM

I understand that many of them speak English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 07:01 AM

Most of us speak English. We jus choose not ta.

Rap... ya wanna impress the locals? Haul out a wad a Crappy Tire ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM

Is that what they call Canadian money?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 11:57 AM

The counter surfer (knock wood) didn't get any so far, unless it was offered. But he's so proud of himself because he protected us against a fox yipping in the back by the creek last night. He insisted on going out at 2am and racing down to the back fence to bark at it. The girls know that if you're comfy in bed in the house on a cold night that one doesn't NEED to go bark at coyotes or foxes who miss their canine friends, but I sent them out for a few minutes so Zeke wouldn't be down there by himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 12:16 PM

Chinese Tire Money


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 09:51 PM

Not Monopoly money then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 10:43 PM

So all of these things I've got with pictures of people like John Macdonald and Liz2 is worthless, eh? Ah, well, c'est la d'argent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 11:43 PM

Sell them on eBay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 01:14 AM

I gave them to my wife. She was surprised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:52 AM

WINTER STORM WATCH IN EFFECT

And it's highlit in yella! So, they are REALLY watchin!

nOW, IFFIN YA GO TO tHE wEATHER nETWORK, IT SAYS

Significant snowfall amounts and periods of freezing rain are possible tonight. ... Find out more ?

And it's lit in RED!!! So, it must be REALLY possible.

I might, possibly, watch too. After football, maybe. Maybe not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 11:13 AM

If I had wings like a turtle dove
I'd look so strange to you
They would drag me off from my own true love
And lock me up in a zoo.

Lightfooted Gordie Mooseesmith
Songs of the Appalachian Psyche


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 11:30 AM

Got up this mornin' (oh yeah)
Well, I got up this mornin' (oh yeah)
I got up this mornnin'
Put on the coffee, ate some food,
Took a shower, got dressed, went to work (oh yeah)

Well I worked all day (oh yeah)
Yes, I worked all day long (oh yeah)
This CEO of an oil company gig
Is all that's I thought it would be (oh yeah)
All that I thought it would be.

Got me houses in the Caymans (oh yeah)
Got me penthouses in New York (oh yeah)
Yachts at the yacht club
Servants ta kick around (oh yeah)
And my mattress is stuffed with C-notes (oh yeah).

Got a paper cut on a contract (oh yeah)
Well, I got me a paper cut on a contract (oh yeah)
But I made eleven billion dollars
So it was worth the pain
Dangerous bein' CEO of big oil (oh yeah).

       "Big Vault" Bucksmany, Oh Yeah Blues, 2013


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 12:44 PM

Woke up this mornin'
Well, I woke up this mornin'
At the crack a dawn
I woke up this mornin'
And I sealed the crack
I went back ta bed
And I slept instead
Oh yeah


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 02:47 PM

There once was a woman from Fort Worth
Whose dogs slept on beds, not on earth
Those beds were indoors
So one of her chores
Was rise early to let them go forth.



Probably doesn't scan the way it should, but it addresses the current topic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 06:11 PM

It's fine. More importantly, did you get the doggy doodoo offin a yer shoe? Or... scoopy doodoo?

Yes. It was a poor attempt. My attention span is... WTF was THAT? THROW THE FLAG!!!

JAYSUS H! I am in Moncton and I saw it! The ref was 15' away and HE didn't? WTF!!!!????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:08 PM

The Idaho Legion has been defending Earth from the sinister machinations and intentions of unknown space aliens for quite some time now (as seen in this photo of the Legion defending against a recent vicious attack).

But the Legion needs support, preferably monetary, so that it can buy the tools needed (you don't just go down to the local market and pick up yttrium-gallium-fluoride laser crystals). So please, for the sake of our Earth, give all that you can. I'll be happy to act as middleman for this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:11 PM

A lady from way down in Texas
Had doggies of various sexes
The would crap on the earth
Of her yard, in Fort Worth,
Where she trod, and declared, "Damn! That vexes!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM

Very good! I was in and out of it this afternoon as I mowed, but I think by the end more was smeared on the lawn than was stuck to my shoe.

Rap, if I were you, I'd head down to Harbor Freight or Tractor Supply and check out their yttrium-gallium-fluoride laser crystals. They're bound to be cheaper there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 08:44 PM

A.... hahahahahahahhahaa! I love it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 09:41 PM

I checked Harbor Freight, Sears, Walmart, CAL Ranch, Big R, and a slew of other places. I even checked online. Seems like ya gotta grow the blamed things and nobody seems to carry the seeds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM

Try these guys at Northrup, Rapp. One of the largest military-industrial fat cats around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 02:10 PM

I bagged 3 good deeds within an hour of hitting the fresh air mid morn. Got several more later on and one BIG one. I was up ta yer Sobeys fer a walk and ta pick up a couple a sets a Kissmeass dishes for presents on Merry Ho Ho. A man of about my age stopped a lad in his late teens who was wearing Sobeys garb. I was walking fairly close and I heard the man raise his voice. I made a beeline for him and said, very calmly (whadda you laffin about?), "Sir. I know this as he was speaking quite loudly and giving the lad a hard time. lad has only just started working here. Is there some way I may be of assistance?" He cocked head a bit and asked, "Do you work here?" I replied, "No sir. I come here for a walk when the weather is inclement so I walk here pretty darn often (insert head bob and slight chuckle for emphasis) and I could probably help you." He was obviously puzzled and said, in a tone I did not like, "Where are the potato chips and snacks and stuff. "Can't remember the aisle number but I can easily show you." and I wheeled my cart around and started walking, whereupon Nick said "Thank you Uncle Gary." After we were out of earshout, I said "Aisle 7. That lad is autistic." and I pulled a left and walked away.

Actually, it was two good deeds in one on accounta I wanted to go Wildebeeste on his ass. Well, I did scowl when I told him where to go. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 04:36 PM

The Gnu gets up off of the benches
And proudly walks into the trenches!
When he sees there's a need
He helps out at full speed,
The Canuckly king of all mensches!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 05:09 PM

The Gnu gets up off of the benches
And proudly walks into the trenches!
When he sees there's a need
He helps out at full speed,
Especially good looking wenches.

(Amos got it garbled.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 11:56 PM

I don't think I can top those rhymes. And I think I'll leave it there. :) Good job, gnu!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 07:02 AM

Whoa! Cut and paste and edit and still fuck it up!

""Sir. I know this as he was speaking quite loudly and giving the lad a hard time. lad has only just started working here."

I was walking fairly close and I heard the man raise his voice. He was speaking quite loudly and giving the lad a hard time. I made a beeline for him and said, very calmly (whadda you laffin about?), "Sir. This lad has only just started working here. Is there some way I may be of assistance?"

Still not as it should be but certainly less confusing. My apologies to all, including my former self.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 08:51 AM

Well, since you put it that way and since I know that you have many other "personalities", I accept your apology.

Hmmm...maybe I should have made you grovel a bit, but yeah, okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 11:32 AM

Hmmm... still asleep me, eh? Thanks for the compliments, guys.

Still no surfacing of any of the LHs. He (George that is) has been on Facebook tho he did say he had an ill PC for about a week. I kinda miss them. Well, most of them anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 04:33 PM

Yeah, he told me his puder had been down for a week. But if he can say that on FB he can say it on MOAB. In fact thatere are many more things he could say on OAB than he could on FB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 07:38 PM

I'm sure he'll make up for lost time.

We understood the story, gnu, even without the correction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 09:14 PM

Well, some of my long underwear for the Arctic came today. And I'm sorting through what I've got already.

gnu, do they still have Wooly Mammoth hunts up that way? Should I plan on one? I've also been told that furred snipe are good hunting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 11:36 PM

Iffen Rapp is going to the arctic he should take along his branding iron in case it turns out to be calving season, eh?

Standing right alongside those big bergs when they're calvin'' is about the bravest thing a man can do, and Rapparree is just the one to show them how it's done, innhe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 08:14 AM

SRS... I understand youse understood what I wanted youse to understand but I am having a hard time to accept that my understanding of my own writing is so deteriorated.

Rap... Wooly Bully season is closed but I am sure Manitoba DNR will take your licence application and the applicable fee for the upcoming hunt in 12,013, subject to global swarming, of course. Now, yer furry snipe season is on but ya gotta hire a guide with a furry snipe dog with proper documentation same as ya gotta, by law, have a dog fer huntin woodcock in my province, The Picture Province (my old man used to say 'underdevloped and overexposed'). Furry snipe dogs are hard ta find, let alone a guide what has one so ya had better bring one with ya. I suggest ya search at kijiji or ask that Craig fellah but buyer beware eh? Ya better check out the dog's papers with the authorities to make sure all is in order, on the up and up, lean and clean, legit, cool, and, above all, he's igloo broken.

I have just retrieved the weekly grocery fliers from Mum. It's windy, about zero and raining/snowing wet crap. I was at my back door and noticed the rats with wings on the power and com wires feeding my house. They looked sad as well as cold and wet, bobbing around to maintain their perches against the inclement weather. Got my first good deed of the day! I sang a few lines of the ear worm I have had for two days... No Rain by Blind Melon. I'm sure they agreed with the last line... I guess that only proves that I'm insa-a-a-ane (that's the way *I* sing it). None of them clapped but I know it's just that they are trying to stay as warm and dry as possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 09:50 AM

Gosh whiz, the temperature here has gone all the way plumb up to 1F (or -17.22 C., if you prefer). The wind chill is -12 F, or -24.44 C.

Cold? You couldn't HANDLE cold! Why, the sun shone for 45 seconds the other day and both Hill and Mountain Home Air Force Bases were swamped by calls reporting a "brightly glowing flying saucer."

Speaking of which, here's a photo of a recent attack made by space aliens against the once-thriving town of Muldoon, Idaho. Only that wall still stands, and framed in the empty window you can see the aliens making their escape in their interstellar battleship. Earth is under attack, and only the Idaho Legion stands between total conquest of our lovely Blue Planet! Please let me know how much USD you will contribute to the Legion's efforts...and then follow through on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 10:41 AM

6C here in the middle of England, positively balmy. Nice blue skies and sunshine as well! Coldest we've had was -14C on Christmas Day a few years ago, the day the central heating went on the blink and we ate the turkey wearing pullovers and coats...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 11:46 AM

Nah... too easy.


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