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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 27 Sep 17 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 28 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM
Donuel 28 Sep 17 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 17 - 02:05 PM
gnu 28 Sep 17 - 03:07 PM
Amos 28 Sep 17 - 11:58 PM
Donuel 29 Sep 17 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 17 - 10:09 AM
Acme 30 Sep 17 - 11:41 AM
Donuel 30 Sep 17 - 11:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Sep 17 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 17 - 06:37 AM
Acme 01 Oct 17 - 08:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 02 Oct 17 - 08:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 12:13 PM
Vashta Nerada 02 Oct 17 - 01:36 PM
Amos 02 Oct 17 - 01:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 17 - 05:02 PM
Donuel 02 Oct 17 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 03 Oct 17 - 09:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 17 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 17 - 08:56 PM
Acme 04 Oct 17 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 17 - 09:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM
Acme 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM
Donuel 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM
Amos 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Acme 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM
Amos 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM
Acme 08 Oct 17 - 11:51 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Oct 17 - 12:09 PM
Donuel 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM
Amos 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM
Vashta Nerada 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM
Acme 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM
Amos 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 17 - 11:24 AM

Hey Mom! I'm home from my extended GETAWAY trip - spent the week going to yarn stores and a dyeshop; then the 23rd and 24rth at Maryland Renaissance festival. Drove home monday and collapsed yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

I am investigating the REMARKABLE resemblance between Amos and Hugh Hefner. Will post results today, I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 12:39 PM

consult the book 'The Asshole in the Castle Beyond the Lagoon'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 02:05 PM

Conclusively proven! Amos. Hugh Hefner.

All these Years, hiding his real identity. Now, he fakes his own death so that he can live in obscurity in an obscure town in North Carolina for some obscure reason (actually, he's in the Obscure Witness Protection Program [OWPP, pronounced "OW Pee-Pee"] but using his real name). His motives for this are obscure, but he may have joined a right-wing political cult involving Yog-Sothoth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 03:07 PM

Hugh probably has children named Nug and Yeb but doesn't know it... ahhh... knew it.

RIP Hugh and thanks for all the orgasms. Ahhhh, I mean, great articles... like the in depth interviews with Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro, Gary Gilmore and hundreds of others. Hugh moved the consciousness of a generation (or three+) of many selling tits and ass and intelligence and compassion. What a business model! Pun definitely intended.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 11:58 PM

I am pleased to report that I ain't dead yet, unlike the Heff. When he was alive I harbored an ambition to wlk into the Chicago Mansion and demand the checkbook, but that dream has been OBE. Lo, how the mighty have fallen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 09:32 AM

So Amos is the half brother.
If its not one thing its another
With Hugh's brother Keith deceased
This makes Amos famous
Lets get plastered
You lucky bastard.

Maybe you'll inherit a car


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 10:09 AM

Of course you ain't dead yet! You've just killed off the Hugh Heffner persona so you can get back to your roots in the Cult of Yog-Sothoth, patron of North Carolina! Heff would never do that, so he had to go, and as Amos you "find" the millions and millions you put in various places around the state.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:41 AM

Amos probably left California so he wouldn't be the one stuck clearing out the mess at the old Playboy manse. I hear it's long in the tooth and needing much attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:48 AM

Trump calls it a dump


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 01:04 PM

I like Amos's hat better than Heff's yachtsman's cap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 06:37 AM

Of course. Them naughty-call hats belong on sailors. Amos ain't no sailor. He ain't climbed no ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 08:40 PM

A day without Internet isn't like a day without sunshine - because when you have no Internet you might as well go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I dug more sweet potatoes today. MOM, we need marshmallows. It's time for pumpkin pie spices in the sweet potatoes. Mmmmm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:54 AM

I've decided to get a tattoo that says, "I thought this tattoo was a great idea at the time."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:58 AM

Going home now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 12:13 PM

Rap, are you bringing any ice back with you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:36 PM

He won't need to go out for ice soon - It's October in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:57 PM

Hark! New voices ring in the dusty corners of Mom's shadowy manse!

Again, I must make amends for absence, but it is so time consuming being alive and well. Actually, I have been intermittently unwell in minor ways, and will certainly post requests for sympathy should anything serious develop. Sympathy is SO useful and healing, isn't it? But today's a good day and I send my spriteliest vibrations out to all those ever touched by Mom's gracious halo of influence.

Rapparree, all is forgiven. Go ye home, start anew!

As for sailing, I can only beg to differ with your uninformed, uncharitable, uneducated, mean-spirited and curmudgeonly remarks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 05:02 PM

In elementary school, I was told that the Vikings had a very hard time recruiting willing settlers for colonies in Iceland because the place's name, "Iceland", gave the impression that it might be a bit uninviting.

So, when a later bunch of Vikings discovered another large island that was just as cold, desolate, and uninviting as Iceland, they named it "Greenland". Settlers signed up by the droves.

The same principle has been followed by Florida land developers for decades. Would you rather live in "Holly By the Sea" or "Holly a Few Miles Inland From the Sea"? Guess which is the more accurate description of the place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 11:02 PM

OJ was released from a Nevada prison yesterday. Today, murder and mayhem in Los Vegas. Coincidence or Brietbart fact. You be the judge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 09:32 AM

I stand, or rather sit, corrected, Amos. I believe now that you have indeed crawled the ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit.

No, Bee-Dub, I didn't bring any ice home. You see, the glaciers are flat dab-smack on to of volcanoes! I tried, but I nearly burned my little pinkies off and then I couldn't play the liar Amos had made for me. (I thought it was spelled "lyre" but he said it was "liar.")

And Amos is not alone in suffering minor medical mishaps. December 4 I will have surgery (again!) for both cubital and carpal tunnel syndromes. Fortunately, it's my left hand so I'll still be able to swing a swath with my sword.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 10:51 PM

Mom!

I can't read what it says on my raisin bran box!

It's written in the Cerealic alphabet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 08:56 PM

????!

? ?? ???? ?????????, ??? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ????? ?? ?????!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 09:53 PM

Glad to see a nice mix of visitors in the parlor - the front porch is getting a little chilly, and the sleeping porch has extra blankets on the beds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 09:33 AM

Or, to put it another way, "Ama! Ezin dut irakurri nire mahaspasekin alegia!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM

Well, I certainly can't argue with that!

(Mainly because I can't be bothered with determining what language it is and, then, translating it. So' I'll assume it's something truthful and compelling, not meaningless gibberish.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM

So true! It's Basque, a language in which my fluency is legendary. I am fluent in Profane, Obscene, and Blasphemous but I try to restrain myself from demonstrating said fluency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM

But did it have to do with the weather I had just remarked upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

A sleeping porch in early October defended only by wool blankets.

That is so damn quaint


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM

Á veturna sefur mađur í innsiglishúđum og björnaskinnum, aldrei ull. Therefore I have provided Mom with the finest so that as the weather becomes chilly she can keep her old bones warm. Brennivín mun einnig halda henni vel eins og ţađ gerđi fyrir vikurnar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM

"Harnee, karnee, eekanarnee!"

Bullwinkle Moose, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, 1964


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM

Rapp, maybe this will be hard for you to hear--you are famous for the hardness of your hearing. But as a friend I have to tell you: using Google Translate to say things in foreign tongues does NOT make you seem exotic, alluring, mysterious, worldly OR wise. There is another set of adjectives that DO come into play for such behaviors but I forebear (out of kindness, I suppose).

God bless all who walk these hallowed halls!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

Actually, Amos, I have excellent hearing aids AND bluetooth accessories courtesy of the Veterans Administration. I also have an iPhone now, and an iPod Touch, and I'm thinking of an iPad (just a little one). But if I go to an iPad what do I do with the Acer and Asus little computers I have? The Asus even comes apart to I can use part of it as a tablet.

You're correct about using Google Translate. So I leave you with this thought, translated by my very own brain: Dondé esta las cervezas? Yo tengo muy, muy sed. Y yo tengo hambre, pero no por su cuerpo, por carne asada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM

Google translate gets to be fun when you take one bit of text, translate it through several other languages, then back to English to see what comes back. We've conducted that game in the past, but since the software has gone through revisions, we ought to give it another test.

That paragraph, above, "translated" below. I didn't write them down as I selected the language to translate to, and I think I broke Google Translate. It stopped working a couple of times till I switched browsers.

French
Google traduit devient amusant lorsque vous prenez un peu de texte, traduisez-le dans plusieurs autres langues, puis retournez en anglais pour voir ce qui revient. Nous avons mené ce jeu dans le passé, mais comme le logiciel a révisé, nous devrions lui donner un autre test.

German
Google übersetzt macht Spaß, wenn Sie einen kleinen Text machen, ihn in mehrere andere Sprachen übersetzen und dann zurück ins Englische gehen, um zu sehen, was zurückkommt. Wir haben dieses Spiel in der Vergangenheit geführt, aber als die Software überarbeitet wurde, sollten wir es noch einmal testen.

Yiddish?
Google iberzetsung shpas ven ir makhn a kleyn text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. mir hobn geshfilt dem shpil in der fargangenhayt, ober ven di veykhvarg iz riveyzd, mir zol prubirn es vider.


Slovak
Google iberzetsung sa vyskytne po kliknutí na text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. zrýchlit hubu, ktorá je viditelná v kanáloch, ktoré sa nachádzajú vo vzdialenosti od mora.

Spanish
Google iberzetsung aparecerá después de hacer clic en el texto, iberzetsn es en etlekhe andere shprakhn, una demolición geyn tsurik tsu Inglés tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. para acelerar el cubo, que es visible en los canales que están situados a una distancia del mar.

This is supposed to be the same thing, back in English:
Google iberzetsung will appear after clicking on the text, iberzetsn is in etlekhe andere shprakhn, a demolition geyn tsurik tsu English tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. to accelerate the cube, which is visible in channels that are located at a distance from the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM

I do not use Google Translate. If one of my posts appears to be in some language other than American English, you can rest assured it is 100% gibberish. No translation is necessary. Or even possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM

Facebook translates the late Chonga Chimp's "Ook ook!" as "Tsk tsk." But lately, I don't know where or how, I have lost all my mirth and everything seems nothing except barren earth, a miasma of foul odors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM

Chonga who was Chongo has never lived down his/her shame at the way he/she treated his/her mother and his/her sister Chinga. So it is no surprise he or she is subject to episodes of acute depression. If only s/he could face up to his or her regrets and guilts, he/she could be made whole again. But nooooo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:51 AM

Looks like Tropical Storm Nate is drenching BWL about now. MOM predicted this, said Ma Nature wasn't going to quit until she clobbered all mudcatters living around the rim of the Gulf this summer. It took four tries, but I believe many of us have gotten wet now. AND as a bonus, Nate might push some extra rain up over the top of Gnu's house if it travels as projected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 12:09 PM

Nate was a near non-event for us. Two or three inches of rain. Lots of dead limbs down but no trees. I removed the fabric from the portable garage we keep my wife's car under and moved the car to a treeless area. Sure enough, a big limb that could have punched through the fabric and damaged the car was resting inside the garage frame this morning. We need a bit of wind every now and then to clean the dead stuff out of the trees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM

Acme you have revealed the exact same problem extraterrestrials have with translating Earth languages. Naval intelligence still has problems letting ET translators know what they have been doing wrong.
The movie Arrival shows the difficulty in translating temporal differences in language. You have shown the difficulty in multilingual translation between two planetary languages. I bet 'they' did better in the days of old Latin. Or did they give us that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM

It's even raining a little bit up here in North Carolina, but we forge bravely on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM

oh my amos' gutters are running with water whatever shall he do i hope he survives this cataclysmic preview of maritme Armageddon oh my i just saw on the news that he could have gotten as much as 0.001 inches of rain i have notified the red cross and fema and the salvation army and all about this disaster all of mom's kids should collect old clothes and old food and stuff and send it all to amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM

They say one shouldn't send clothes these days, one should send cash. But if you sent cash, would Amos use it for clothes and shelter, or would he buy another guitar or a kayak for his nearby river?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM

Booze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM

Send your old food. The stuff that's been in the back of the fridge for months, if not years. If you can tell it, "Go to Amos' house!" and it does, it's probably old enough.

But don't send him cash or any equivalent thereof. He'd only spend it foolishly on things like food, shelter, and clothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM

If all be true that I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends, good wine, or being dry
Or lest we should be by-and-by,
Or any other reason why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM

AS I endure cruel fortune's lash
My friends around me rally true
And when they ask what they should do
I tell them simply, "Send me cash."

Nor food nor clothing I desire
As fortunes evil voice doth heckle
But I will endure hard Fortune's fire
If all my friends contribute shekels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM

Oh, Amos, I wouldst fain to see thee lashed by cash or muddled by mere money! Here, here is some good advice which I give thee for nothing, and stash these few precepts in thy memory!

Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel, but do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy; for the apparel oft proclaims the man, and they in France of the best rank and station are of a most select and generous chief in that. Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM

Facebook is having issues since 11:12 AM EDT. Are you also affected? Leave a message in the comments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM

FB is up again. Good thing I checked. I wanted to delete a post from, and ban a member of, a group before his comments became a content problem with FB. One bad apple can spoil the group. Now, back to membership requests.


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