 muddy |
||
|
||
BS: The Mother of all BS threads
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Apr 05 - 11:55 PM Solve the Anagram: LIMALIW RESTNAH SI PRICNOMABAEL |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 11:37 PM Mmmphhh....BECOME? I am sure in my good friend's case it is far too late; strangeness has become terminal. Besides at the moment it is dark out and I want to stay inside. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bunnahabhain Date: 04 Apr 05 - 11:19 PM No, let them play in public. It wasn't computer stuff, or any of the really bad things. Besides, without our restraining influences they'd become strange... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Apr 05 - 11:14 PM Go outside and play, you two. It's a nice day out. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 10:38 PM c"est pas juste, maman -- c'est LUI qui l'a commencé!! Vraiment!! C'est pas ma faute, ma parole!! A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MOAB Date: 04 Apr 05 - 08:45 PM Rapaire! Amos! How many times do I have to tell you? If you must play games that the other children can't understand, do it in your own rooms! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 06:00 PM Oh, Rapaire, you put on such airs!! :D Zoanoma agapo to you too, buddy. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 04 Apr 05 - 05:37 PM Well, Amos, "Παντα ρει και ουδεν μενει", you know. Or, perhaps apropos, "Δεν πρέπει να επιδιώξουμε να αφαιρέσουμε από τις αποτυχίες των μεγάλων κανόνων Ελλήνων και Ρωμαίων για την ορατή μορφή μεγαλοφυίας εφ' όσον δεν μπορούμε να τους αντιπαραβάλουμε με τους ελληνικούς βλάκες." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 04:46 PM Shame he had to beat his own brains out with a 2x4 in the end. It was the Electrolux treatment that did him in, they say. Damn gobstoppers. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 04 Apr 05 - 04:35 PM "The Mom Always Rises" is a book by Hernie Emingway. He also wrote "The Bread Always Rises," "The Rise Always Rises," "The Raised Always Rises," and other such books. Hernie wasn't one to let a good title down. He learned that after writing "The Old Man Who Could See"; that was followed by "The Old Men And The 'C'," "The Man And The Old Sea," and others along the some line. Hernie always beat a plot line to death, too. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Apr 05 - 01:27 PM oif course MOM is at the top. Mom always rises. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Apr 05 - 01:12 PM I see MOM is back at the top, that's good. Sorry I wasn't here to help with the lifting for a couple of days--the phone went out on Saturday (and still hasn't come back yet. . .) Phone company ran some sort of diagnostic and then asked if I had any dogs in my back yard. Typical phone company non sequitur, eh? I assume they think the phone problem is MY fault--I suspect that one of their minions turned off my switch at the box up the street when they were working up there. Anyway, MOM, this may be a brief visit--I just called my house from the office and the answering machine didn't come on, so I think I'm still out of DSL there. Hold the fort, snotty or otherwise, guys. SRS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 04 Apr 05 - 12:56 PM Actually, I already knew what it meant and where it came from. I, like all truly literate people, read Lucius Annaeus Seneca daily. In Latin, too. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 12:50 PM Where you find things is your own choice, good Rapaire. I was merely clarifying where it came from, and what it meant. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 04 Apr 05 - 11:16 AM No, I found it in Philip Sidney's Defense of Poesy, something I read and re-read almost daily. I say "almost" because sometimes I read the Summa Contra Gentiles or my Batman comics. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 09:26 AM Rapaire offers: "The savage ruler who wields the sceptre with a hard hand/ Fears the timid, and thus fear returns to its author." from Seneca Oedipus 705-6. Rustic: I am doused in glory's own blush by your sweet remarks; however it needs saying that all that post was a quote, from the opening page of Ulysses, a scene from Joyce set on a ruined tower on the edges of Dublin. I was simply providing a correction to the strange palimpsest committed by Vincent in the earlier post. David Gergen and Bert, indeed. Humph!! :>D A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 04 Apr 05 - 08:58 AM Qui sceptra saevus duro imperio regit, Timet timentes, metus in auctorem redit. --Seneca |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Apr 05 - 01:10 AM Bravo Amos!! Me hat and me particles of anything resembling anything, off to you,! Dear poet of the mother that has weaned your poeticness to a state of pure absolutesness! I deem it safe to say you are the dream within the dream, that only the true dreamers redeem a viable dream unto themselves. Ah-ha I believe it to be true. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 12:46 AM Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned: -- Introibo ad altare Dei. Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called up coarsely: -- Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit! Solemnly he came forward and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding country and the awaking mountains. Then, catching sight of Stephen Dedalus, he bent towards him and made rapid crosses in the air, gurgling in his throat and shaking his head. Stephen Dedalus, displeased and sleepy, leaned his arms on the top of the staircase and looked coldly at the shaking gurgling face that blessed him, equine in its length, and at the light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak. Buck Mulligan peeped an instant under the mirror and then covered the bowl smartly. -- Back to barracks! he said sternly. He added in a preacher's tone: -- For this, O dearly beloved, is the genuine Christine: body and soul and blood and ouns. Slow music, please. Shut your eyes, gents. One moment. A little trouble about those white corpuscles. Silence, all. He peered sideways up and gave a long low whistle of call, then paused awhile in rapt attention, his even white teeth glistening here and there with gold points. Chrysostomos. Two strong shrill whistles answered through the calm. -- Thanks, old chap, he cried briskly. That will do nicely. Switch off the current, will you? He skipped off the gunrest and looked gravely at his watcher, gathering about his legs the loose folds of his gown. The plump shadowed face and sullen oval jowl recalled a prelate, patron of arts in the middle ages. A pleasant smile broke quietly over his lips. -- The mockery of it! he said gaily. Your absurd name, an ancient Greek! He pointed his finger in friendly jest and went over to the parapet, laughing to himself. Stephen Dedalus stepped up, followed him wearily halfway and sat down on the edge of the gunrest, watching him still as he propped his mirror on the parapet, dipped the brush in the bowl and lathered cheeks and neck. Buck Mulligan's gay voice went on. -- My name is absurd too: Malachi Mulligan, two dactyls. But it has a Hellenic ring, hasn't it? Tripping and sunny like the buck himself. We must go to Athens. Will you come if I can get the aunt to fork out twenty quid? He laid the brush aside and, laughing with delight, cried: -- Will he come? The jejune jesuit! Ceasing, he began to shave with care. -- Tell me, Mulligan, Stephen said quietly. -- Yes, my love? -- How long is Haines going to stay in this tower? Buck Mulligan showed a shaven cheek over his right shoulder. -- God, isn't he dreadful? he said frankly. A ponderous Saxon. He thinks you're not a gentleman. God, these bloody English! Bursting with money and indigestion. Because he comes from Oxford. You know, Dedalus, you have the real Oxford manner. He can't make you out. O, my name for you is the best: Kinch, the knifeblade. 56 He shaved warily over his chin. -- He was raving all night about a black panther, Stephen said. Where is his guncase? -- A woful lunatic! Mulligan said. Were you in a funk? -- I was, Stephen said with energy and growing fear. Out here in the dark with a man I don't know raving and moaning to himself about shooting a black panther. You saved men from drowning. I'm not a hero, however. If he stays on here I am off. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 04 Apr 05 - 12:41 AM God, Vincent, that is amazing!! If the line about Plump, stately Buck Mulligan wasn't etched into my brain in deep stone letters I would believe it WAS Joyce. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 03 Apr 05 - 10:48 PM It is now Daylight Saving Time and I have managed to waste the first hour of extra daylight by sleeping through it. I had a headache and decided to take a brief power nap and next thing I knew, it was dark! I feel I should apologize, but I don't know to whom. All those people turned their clocks back an hour so I could experience the miracle of being fooled into thinking I was watching the sun set an entire hour later than it did yesterday and I blew it! And, to top it all off, I still have the damned headache. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Vincent T.Gaugin Date: 03 Apr 05 - 09:19 PM David Gergen frowned at the lather on his razorblade. He hopped down from his perch and began to search his trouser pockets hastily. "Good grief," he cried thickly. He came over to the gunrest and, thrusting a hand into Bert's upper pocket, said: "Lend us a loan of your noserag to wipe my razor." Bert suffered him to pull out and hold up on show by its corner a dirty crumpled handkerchief. David Gergen wiped the razorblade neatly. Then, gazing over the handkerchief, he said: "The bard's noserag. A new art color for our Irish poets: snot green. You can almost taste it, can't you?" He mounted to the parapet again and gazed out over Dublin bay, his fair oakpale hair stirring slightly. "God," he said quietly. Isn't the sea what Algy calls it: a grey sweet mother? The snot green sea. The scrotum tightening sea. Epi oinopa ponton. Ah, Convy, the Greeks. I must teach you. You must read them in the original. Thalatta! Thalatta! She is our great sweet mother. Come and look." Bert stood up and went over to the parapet. Leaning on it he looked down on the water and on the mailboat clearing the harbor mouth of Kingstown. "Our mighty mother," David Gergen said. And you all know where this came from I reckon. Joyce could see a hundred years into the future and into Holy MOAB. A man of incredible vision for being as blind as he was. Hmmm....well yaz..., that's as astute as you'll ever find me. The tide's going out and my cone is deflatting considerbley..... Tweed (formerly the Artist known as Renoir McSweeney) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 03 Apr 05 - 05:06 PM That's 'cause Rapaire has had a cold for the last 10 days. And he never washes his hands because to do would remove the lovely patina that protects him from germs and viruses. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,T.Salvadore Renoir Date: 03 Apr 05 - 03:59 PM We are the onliest sane ones, Amos. I still habv my wits due to the cable being messed up and habv not watched the tube in three weeks. I am getting this wierd feeling like mebbe I don't need to know what the hell is going on everwhar at once! Yaz, get the net, thet is not right thingking at all....o, well. Rapaire's hands are full obv snot. Now that IS newsworthy!! Yores, T.Salvadore Renoir K.O.T.R.Obv.T. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 03 Apr 05 - 03:28 PM Criminy -- we have a major asshole running the country, we are battling Shiites, Sunni, and other strange tribal clumps in hot battle, the nation dances on the bedside of vegetables, and we have a dearth of BS????? I don't THINK so!! A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 03 Apr 05 - 07:55 AM Do not fall, dear Mother, 'Tho others help thee not! I am here to catch thee 'Tho my hands be full of snot. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 02 Apr 05 - 02:29 PM Lo, she staggers, but will not fall, Tho' swords and backs are pressed t'th wall We'll stand until the final post And stand still for dear MOAB's ghost. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 02 Apr 05 - 12:13 PM There once was a lepton, all graceful and fair Who fell for a quark full of charm She gave herself to him, though she couldn't tell where But the next day she learned, in alarm No phase at all, no phase at all She'd married a quark who had no phase at all Worse than a bull with a Moebius ball Is to wed to a particle with no phase at all. She tried hard to cure him with rhythmic tunes And by making him focus on the change of the moon And he tried hard all day, but by the nightfall The bugger still proved ha had no phase at all No phase at all, no phase at all She'd married a quark who had no phase at all Worse than a bull with a Moebius ball Is to wed to a particle with no phase at all. The lepton kept striving for a couple of years Her days full of hope, and her nights torn to tears Drum lessons, and metronomes, quite useless did fall On the ears of a quark who had no phase at all. No phase at all, no phase at all She'd married a quark who had no phase at all Worse than a bull with a Moebius ball Is to wed to a particle with no phase at all. She finally decided, that poor little lass That this life would soon turn her to drinking and mass She could not endure it, neither future nor past So she hooked up to an electron, and got away fast. No phase at all, no phase at all She'd married a quark who had no phase at all Worse than a bull with a Moebius ball Is to wed to a particle with no phase at all. So all you new particles, born out of space As you wiggle your charms, and put glow on your face Remember the lepton, who came to a fall By wedding a quark who had no phase at all. No phase at all, no phase at all She'd married a quark who had no phase at all Worse than a bull with a Moebius ball Is to wed to a particle with no phase at all. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 02 Apr 05 - 04:01 AM don't forget, bongo player shit. It has come to my alertness, given the present state of an inactive mind that pretends alertness, that everything is an=a energy particle of an inactive piece of cow turd. It really doesn't matter if the cow turd is black or white because generally it is brown, anyway. Now where was I?........ I think I was saying Bongo Players are affiliated with the repeating notion that the whiter shade of black can be glimpsed with a respect that all bongo players play with their drums better when the moon is at half phase than at no phase at all... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 02 Apr 05 - 12:35 AM That type does. And decorator shapes, also. "Dung beetle sphere" is very popular. A well-shaped case-hardened ball of shit, taking it's shape from the joint activity of insect mandible manipulation and rolling for yards and yards until it can be shoved into the beetle's, er, um, hole. Nest. Something to do with the underground. Out of sight. I just realized I don't know where the beetle puts the darned ball of dung. Shit. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Apr 05 - 07:35 PM BS comes in decorator colors? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 01 Apr 05 - 06:25 PM Would you prefer those pellets to be baby-shit-yellow or baby-shit-green? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 01 Apr 05 - 06:21 PM Baby shit is only cute to those who have never changed a diarrheal diaper. Kids should be required to shit nice firm little pellets like rabbits. (There's another omission from the BS list: "Bunny Shit".) Then instead of diapers they could just wear a little collection bag and you could dump it in the flowe bed at the end of the day. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 01 Apr 05 - 06:00 PM NPR came up with a colossal batch of BS today on All Things Considered: New England Suffers Maple Woes. The page says the audio for this story will be available later this evening. SRS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Layah Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:51 PM And baby shit. "Awww, look at the cute wittle baby shit" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST Date: 01 Apr 05 - 03:01 PM you forgot: Bengal Shit Budgie Shit Bass shit boogeyman shit belgian shit bavarian shit bellarussian shit barbados shit bengali shit benini shit bolivian shit bosnian shit botswana shit burmese shit burundi shit bulgarian shit belizian shit |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Apr 05 - 02:54 PM Announcement by Opera, the Good Browser people: http://www.opera.com/pressreleases/en/2005/04/01/index.dml |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 01 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM It has occurred to me that throughout the history of the MOAB, we have equated the term "BS" with "Bull Shit". While there can be little doubt that the "S" does, indeed, represent "Shit", the "B" may, in fact, represent a number of shit-sources. So, if you ever feel that your post doesn't quite measure up to "Bull Shit", please feel free to choose an appropriate "BS" from the following list: Buffalo Shit Bison Shit Bullmoose Shit Bird Shit Butterfly Shit Beetle Shit Badger Shit Bat Shit Buzzard Shit Boa Constrictor Shit Bonobo Shit Burro Shit Bandicoot Shit Boar Shit Bear Shit Bigfoot Shit Beluga Shit Beaver Shit Bacteria Shit Barnacle Shit Beagle Shit Basenji Shit Basset Hound Shit Bug Shit Bedbug Shit Bee Shit Bloodhound Shit Brontosaurus Shit Buck Shit Bulldog Shit |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Apr 05 - 01:14 PM You talk good, Mister Big Eetee. But when did you step up and offer us a goddamned choice, huh??? A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 01 Apr 05 - 01:11 PM Chuckles - I believe you have run across our freds, ralphs, martians or Vegans - they never see MOM coming. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Chuckles Date: 01 Apr 05 - 12:59 PM What sort of place is this? Now I am experiencing a much warmer than normal metabolic temperature, my olfactory organ is secreting a greenish mucus, and my corporeal parts are aching. I am also forceably expelling air and mucus droplets in spasms of muscular contraction. There is also reverse peristalsis. My dendrial mycotes are drooping! And you people choose to LIVE here??? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Apr 05 - 12:41 PM THAT's what I'm talking about, Miss Sage!! Yas'm!!!! Dining al fresco on the patio while browsing the Journal of American Antipathy and other scholarly collections. Rapaire, you takin' notes?!!! I love the philosophical insight, Rapaire -- when one window opens, another closes, or whatever. It's like, like, ya know? Happy 4-1. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 01 Apr 05 - 12:23 PM I'm so glad that I can pass along some wonderful news regarding improvements in a U.S. library, and hope the progress will spread. Rapaire, be sure to note the coffee bar expansion story. I think we'll go ahead with that one at my university library. This is the kind of stuff that makes the MOAB so great! SRS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Apr 05 - 12:08 PM Give it up, Amos. Let it go. You'll be better for it. Tomorrow is another day. When one window closes another opens. Let the dead past bury its dead. Remember to put the seat down. Look both ways before crossing. Don't play in traffic. Stop, drop, and roll. Never run with scissors. Wear your rubbers. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 01 Apr 05 - 11:05 AM it's a sickness. called money. the root of all evil - and sometimes of BS. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Amos Date: 01 Apr 05 - 10:50 AM And you will of course be there, to help them!! What better job could there be than to provide help to an endless line of slavering ineptitude, woebegone catastrophes in shoes, accidents that stopped waiting to happen, dumbkopfs disguised as staff members, users of many substances, the lost, bewildered and confused, the unable and the staggering many? Broad shoulders indeed, for such an Augean task!! All praise to thee, helper of many a fool!! I -- on the other hand -- help no-one, earn no pay, and produce nothing! I do cook hamburgers for my bride when she comes home from the office, though.1 Yet, I strive to find some role where I will be as burdened with responsibility as you are. Why is this??? **bg** A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 01 Apr 05 - 09:29 AM would that I were kidding, Amos. The dastard actually has done this! (posted the stuff - the voice recognition bit is of course BS - in honour of the day. But the bloody idjits trying to use it will call the helpdesk!!!!!) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Apr 05 - 09:25 AM That is an inspiring public safety message indeed Rap. I hope you provided MM with condoms. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Apr 05 - 09:16 AM MMario, I wouldn't have any idea. My days are counted as "Do I have to go to work today or not?" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 01 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM rap - what is today's date? the problem is - most of the users of the machine won't remember either. |
