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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:44 PM Rapaire: Why destroy elegance just for the sake of a trivial clarification? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Feb 05 - 05:48 PM "Harmony though BS." I can support that, Amos, with one minor, teensy-tiny change. Let's make it "Harmony through BS, and vice-verse." Besides, GUBS requires it (section 43.22.0.6). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:07 PM I think the problem is one of disparately designed resonant surfaces resulting in disjoint reality constructs. What we need to establish here is a Hutchins Consort Effect. This will do away with obsessive individualism and acheive Harmony through BS, which should also be our slogan, I think. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:18 PM For maximum effect, please imagine the following post being read by Billy Bob Thornton in character as Karl from "Slingblade". Hmmmph... Tecks too long fer this thread t' load. Cain't be wastin' time puttin' birfday wishes here. I already tol' th' boy Happy Birfday over t' thet other thread. Hmmmph... It were uh good thread. Lotsa folks said "happy birfday" t' th' boy. Hmmmph... Don' see no sense puttin' th' same stuff here on th' MOAB. Hmmmph... Well, Ah gotta go work own uh lonmower. Hmmmph... I lack th' way ya'll tawk here on this thread. Hmmmph... 'Cept fer thet Amis boy. He tawks funny. Hmmmph... Gibs me uh headache t' try an' read whut ee sez. Hmmmph... Wunner if T'reesa's readin' masheen haz uh "Karl" settin'? Hmmmph... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Feb 05 - 11:43 AM My GUT was my birthday gift to MOAB. I'm changing the name, by the way, from BSGUT to Grand Unified BS Law, or GUBS Law, or just plain GUBS when you're speaking among us plain folks. It'll be easier that way, and you can actually pronounce it. I have also forwarded the change to the Nobel Prize Committee. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 12 Feb 05 - 11:02 AM Gee-- one HAppy Birthday and the whole hall turns silent. Someone start the violins up again!!:) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:38 AM And HAAAAPPPY BIRTHDAY to all the Rapaire Wanna-be's out there in Bibliolandia!! Sorry SRS, I was out in the wild rain at the most unusual concert, I will have to start a thread about it, most unusual and delightful. A family of violins ranging from teeny soprano down to a super-large contrabass all built at the same period by the same artist, tuned to the same intervals as a violin. Very strange and lovely. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Teresa Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:26 AM Happy b-day, belated to the Rapaire-one. Oh happy MOAB. Yes, I suppose I could just as well talk about nuffin here as anywhere. :) Teresa |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:23 AM Here I am, pulling the MOAB up all evening like she's a staggering drunk while you guys are out talking about nothin'. Nada. Zip. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:28 PM Geez, like, it's Friday night. Are all of you out at Rapaire's birthday party except me? Howcome no one told me about it? Huh? Huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 10:06 PM I bet he sang a pretty rousing version of Happy Birthday To You to people (like Rapaire, for example). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM Ciardi had a better speaking voice. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bunnahabhain Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:28 PM 6260 Yes he does. However, what he rules is actually a small island in the Sub-Antartic, which only penguins call home... I met a man whose brother said he knew a man who knew the Oxford girl.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Feb 05 - 06:56 PM Shatner STILL rules! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Feb 05 - 06:38 PM Not only is is possible for John Ciardi to write to Amos, the BSGUT predicts that he (Ciardi) must do so. As in Chicago voting, just because you're dead doesn't mean that you can't post to MOAB. See my post on BSGUT, section 13.2.7.18. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 06:17 PM Wow! John Ciardi is writing to Amos? (Who else could "J." be?) Does it matter if he died many years ago? Can he still contribute to MOAB? Good Words to You! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Layah Date: 11 Feb 05 - 05:48 PM When I first learned my computer could record sounds I spent a lot of time recording things and then playing htem backwards, learning to say them backwards, recording that and turning it back around. It sounds really weird, because the words are recognizable but the emphasis and rhythm is all wrong. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 05 - 05:48 PM Dear Mister CIardi: The condescending erutximda of your administrative style is equalled only by the maglama of coprophilic minicephalic troglodytes who work for you. Thanks for your kind attention to this matter. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Feb 05 - 05:22 PM Personally, I prefer "amalgam" to "admixture", primarilly because "amalgam" spelled backwards is "maglama". It doesn't mean anything, but it's a lot easier to say than "erutximda". |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Department of Redundancy Dept. Date: 11 Feb 05 - 05:04 PM To: Amos Re: word overuse Dear Mr. Jessup, It has come to our attention that you have used admixture at least twice in the proceeding 100 posts. You're overdoing a good thing. Please pick up a Thesaurus and peruse the contents next time you're tempted to use that word if the MOAB has not exceeded 7500 posts. Thank you for your cooperation. J. Ciardi Director DRD |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:08 PM Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo, et mundabor: lavabis me, et super nivem dealbabor. That's especially for Rapaire, whose admixture of obfuscation is without peer in the known universe. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Teresa Date: 11 Feb 05 - 01:21 PM Don't get your particles in a twist ... we are merely affirming with more BS the true nature of bS and demonstrating that it is infinite, o yes we are. :) teresa |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Feb 05 - 01:18 PM Bson to Nrth Dkota |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Feb 05 - 01:13 PM I post the single most important message in the history of the Universe, and you people make jokes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Feb 05 - 01:00 PM Nah. Those weren't Bson in Catalin. Just ordinary everyday Catal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:49 PM Haven't they recenlty moved a whole herd of Bson from Catalin to Wyoming? Or was it Idaho? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:48 PM well - if they have two or more right angles then they are ephipanies triangles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:45 PM is evident from the foregoing discussion, the Bson becomes reductable only at temperatures -n° K. Since by our definition 0° K would mean that all Bson activity ceases, it becomes impossible for the Bson to reduct at any “time” or, because of the Law of Interdimensional Mass/Space/Time/Energy BS Conservation (discussed and proven at 3.4.2.1, above) any “where.” Ergo, when Einstein stated that “God does not play dice with the Universe” he was, as both Dirac and Heisenberg have shown, both correct and incorrect. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bunnahabhain Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:44 PM I know pedantry is frowed upon, but as these threads are supported at both ends, and have some weight to them, they will form a parabola, not a hyperbola..... Bunnahabhain |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Teresa Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:40 PM epiphanies triangle? I thought they were isosceles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:39 PM 6242 I thought trisection had been made illegal? Or is that only when the Penguins are gay? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:35 PM I see your point, Amos. Alternatively, one could trisect an angle by merely bisecting it twice, yielding four equal angles, and then telling one of them to get lost. That would leave a vacuum within the original angle which, since nature abhors a vacuum, would cause the remaining three angles to swell equally, resulting in true trisection. Dee epiphanies jus' keeps on rollin' in, duzn't dey? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 12:14 PM BWL, you'll need the next size up J-box for all of those hyperbolic threads and hot wires, or you'll burn down the house AND the pottery shed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:51 AM That's easy in this new realm you have unleashed, BeeDubya. 3*7= 21, as we all know, and 21/7=3. So if 2x2=7 then dividing the triangle into four equal parts three times, easy to do with a compass and straightedge, will enable you to combine it into thirds. QED!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:28 AM 2+2=10 or sometimes 8 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Bee-dubya again Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:27 AM Frickin' Mudcat! So I posted that message on .org and it decided to just sit and spin for two or three minutes and act like it wasn't going through. So I closed the window and came in throught the backdoor and, nope, it wasn't on the page. So I posted it again and VIOLA! The original message had somehow finally made it through cyberspace. Maybe it was just so profound that the .org server had to mull over it a bit before posting it to the thread. But, hey, it's a great message. It deserves to be posted twice. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Bee-dubya the Genius Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:20 AM Eureka! I habv fount it! First, I must apologize to my brother Rapaire for my hastiness in belittling his GUT post. Little did I know that his post would provide the impetus for my own Eureka moment. Now, as we all know, in the world of particle physics, terms like color, up/down, flavor and spin are merely analogs. They serve as convenient means by which to talk about properties that can only be truly expressed mathematically. "Spin" to a particle physicist is not the same as "spin" to a kid playing with a top. The kid with the top would have a hard time conceiving of a spin of ½. Nobody can really conceive of a spin of ½. It can only be expressed mathematically. Likewise the "colors" of quarks are merely conventions. They aren't really red, blue or green. Honest. Nor do they stand up or lie down. Now, how does all this relate to BS? Simple. The conventions of BS are also merely metaphors or analogs for underlying principles that can only be expressed mathematically. The sheep, the spatulas, the rutabagas, the mangelwurzels, freds, are merely conventions that we use to spout BS. We use them so we can communicate ideas to each other, but what we're really talking about are basic underlying mathematical concepts. So, just as a Grand Unifying Theory in physics can only be expressed mathematically, the Grand Unifying Theory of BS must be expressed mathematically as well. But there is one major difference between the two. In physics, a GUT must be expressed in a single equation, otherwise it's not really unifying, is it? But, since BS is infinitely more complex than particle physics, the GUT of BS must be expressed in two equations! Here they are: 2+2=3+1 and 2+2=7. I await your applause, lauds and congratulations with bated breath. Please post congratulatory messages to this thread. Send me a private message if you would like the address to which to send money. Now, I'm off to figure out how to trisect an angle using only a compass and straight-edge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:19 AM Eureka! I habv fount it! First, I must apologize to my brother Rapaire for my hastiness in belittling his GUT post. Little did I know that his post would provide the impetus for my own Eureka moment. Now, as we all know, in the world of particle physics, terms like color, up/down, flavor and spin are merely analogs. They serve as convenient means by which to talk about properties that can only be truly expressed mathematically. "Spin" to a particle physicist is not the same as "spin" to a kid playing with a top. The kid with the top would have a hard time conceiving of a spin of ½. Nobody can really conceive of a spin of ½. It can only be expressed mathematically. Likewise the "colors" of quarks are merely conventions. They aren't really red, blue or green. Honest. Nor do they stand up or lie down. though I'm sure a charmed quark is, in fact, quite charming... Now, how does all this relate to BS? Simple. The conventions of BS are also merely metaphors or analogs for underlying principles that can only be expressed mathematically. The sheep, the spatulas, the rutabagas, the mangelwurzels, freds, are merely conventions that we use to spout BS. We use them so we can communicate ideas to each other, but what we're really talking about are basic underlying mathematical concepts. So, just as a Grand Unifying Theory in physics can only be expressed mathematically, the Grand Unifying Theory of BS must be expressed mathematically as well. But there is one major difference between the two. In physics, a GUT must be expressed in a single equation, otherwise it's not really unifying, is it? But, since BS is infinitely more complex than particle physics, the GUT of BS must be expressed in two equations! Here they are: 2+2=3+1 and 2+2=7. I await your applause, lauds and congratulations with bated breath. Please post congratulatory messages to this thread. Send me a private message if you would like the address to which to send money. Now, I'm off to figure out how to trisect an angle using only a compass and straight-edge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:07 AM Rapaire, be sure to get a good J-box (find them in the hyperbolic wiring department of Home Depot or your neighborhood Ace Hardware) to stuff all of those loose ends into or you'll burn your house down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 05 - 10:54 AM Any politician knows that True Science demands some sacrifices, right? I am sure Bush knows this and if ever anyne's particles needed a little acceleratin' ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bunnahabhain Date: 11 Feb 05 - 10:40 AM You do realise an important product of this research? If we finally understand BS, and its generation, we will finally have a way of understanding Congress/Parliment/appropriate national collection of troublemakers. And if it is necesssary to put all of them through a particle accelerator, to provide experimental conformation.... Bunnahabhain |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Feb 05 - 09:39 AM Sorry -- I got all excited and forgot to turn off the bold. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM By the thirty-eight hands of the fourteen Holy Helpers, Bee-Dubya, I was using that as an example!!!! of a GUT!!! NOT what I am doing, which will, I am certain, explain the important stuff!!! Right now, at this very moment, the Final Experiment is chugging alone, doing exactly as the GUT predicted!! Taro root, immature extremophiles, two kinds of compost, a quart of beauty quarks, n-dimensional fictons, a pint of p-n junctions, and a lot of other stuff are stewing away in a caldera out on The Site, monitored by astute physicists and chemists and biologists and other lackeys and serfs. Ye gods, man! Did you think I was trying to explain something as simple, as elementary, as childish, as quantum mechanics??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:22 AM Easy to say, and to the True Practitioner, easy to produce. But what IS bullshit? Teresa, in her usual Zen way, has indicated the tantalizing truth, just beyond the Mind's ability to grasp or articulate. True bullshit is spiritually postulated anti-fact, the created knowledge of the soul yearning for freedom, the nuclear rainbow of the mind battered overlong with spacetime. I submit it comes in grades of admixture with mere twists and distortions and semi-facts, which is a good thing, also. Because no human mind can handle too much of the 100-proof straight stuff without blowing a sidewall and flipping into one-winged loony-bird antics all over the playground. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:02 AM and it's the s'rettihsllub that know, you know just what your talking about Teresa! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Teresa Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:50 AM That's it, RR! Bullshit. It is the all-pervasive force that makes nonsense out of the sensible, sense out of the nonsensical. it is paired with Truth in some dangerous and tantalizing ways. Particles of these two great forces should not touch, or they will annihilate each other. I tried it once. Ok, a few times. Teresa |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:40 AM Bullshit |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Feb 05 - 11:56 PM What???? Oh fer Gawd'a sake, Rapaire!!!! Everybody already knows all that QED & QCD & Hawking Radiation stuff. You think we's a buncha uneducated half-wits? We wanted a Grand Unified Theory of BS!!!! A theory that explains the true nature of the relationships between sheep, goats, tires, root crops, curcurbits, buzzards, lawn chairs, Mississipi, accordions, porta-potties, aardvarks, armadillos, Lewis Carrol, trebuchets and a small, seemingly inconsequential island somewhere off the coast of Nebraska. Get back to work! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 10 Feb 05 - 11:55 PM The kids are in the other room watching Amalie. All of a sudden it doesn't seem as surreal as I thought. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Teresa Date: 10 Feb 05 - 11:29 PM Amos said: "Those who assume that space is merely a viewpoint projected from a spiritual decision to know things dimensionally have a much easier time surfing the paradoxical nodes and all that, but they are useless when pragmatic matters come up." I think I resemble that remark. :) Teresa |
