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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 12 Apr 12 - 01:43 PM
Little Hawk 12 Apr 12 - 01:41 PM
Amos 12 Apr 12 - 01:18 PM
Little Hawk 12 Apr 12 - 12:57 PM
Acme 12 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 12 Apr 12 - 12:24 PM
Little Hawk 12 Apr 12 - 12:07 PM
Amos 12 Apr 12 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 12 Apr 12 - 10:04 AM
Amos 12 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM
Acme 12 Apr 12 - 02:46 AM
Acme 12 Apr 12 - 02:42 AM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 11:44 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 08:22 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 06:52 PM
Acme 11 Apr 12 - 06:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 06:43 PM
Jeri 11 Apr 12 - 06:24 PM
Acme 11 Apr 12 - 06:12 PM
Bill D 11 Apr 12 - 06:03 PM
MMario 11 Apr 12 - 06:02 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 05:55 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM
Acme 11 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM
Richard Bridge 11 Apr 12 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 04:22 PM
gnu 11 Apr 12 - 04:14 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 03:59 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 03:55 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM
GUEST,Kassogtha 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM
Ebbie 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM
Dave Hanson 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM
Megan L 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM
Musket 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM
Janie 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 01:43 PM

My brother got fluid in his chi once but the doctor gave him some shots and cleared it right up. His chi was burning and hurting like crazy but the shots worked. Got it from a lady he'd met in a suave, sophisticated Asian restaurant outside of Bangkok. He'd been enjoying pho when she came over and sat down and...well, after that he stuck to Campbell's Chicken Noodle because he HAD a chicken noodle (so to speak).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 01:41 PM

I am merely attempting to give you a few gentle little nudges in the direction of enlightenment and liberation, Amos. ;-) You'll thank me one day.

Bangkok, eh? Funny about that name. It seems quite suggestive. I hear the place is overflowing with western perverts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 01:18 PM

YEah, I have a better plan. Take your savings and fly to Bangkok. Immerse yourself in the pleasant vibrations of a Buddhist culture in a modern city. Wander the shops and parlors of Phuket. Get yourself massaged and scrubbed and s****d and f****d until your knees give in and you become fluid in youe chi.

Let us know how it goes. At least it will get you off this dastardly obsession with disloyal disharmony.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 12:57 PM

I don't think they'd like that. ;-) And it would hurt my ears.

So...you're just thinking in terms of a brief affaire, right? Enough to drag me away from the keyboard for a few days?

Hmm.

I suppose it's an option worth giving some consideration to. But I don't think the strategy you're suggesting is exactly the right one.

Perhaps Amos can come up with a better plan. He's brilliant. I'm sure he can work up something. I await his suggestions with bated breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM

Yeah, but they don't have table jukeboxes where you can attract a potential hook-up (I won't push you into a long term relationship) with the lure of a seductive (or raunchy) song that lays it all out for you. I suppose you could go into your swank-yet-smooth Asian restaurant with your iPod and play your song through your earbuds so loud that people around you would hear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 12:24 PM

"check around for a truckstop with the old table juke boxes and find one with that song in the play list. Sit yourself down with a cuppa coffee and a honeybun and play it real loud, see if you catch any woman's eye as you have the day's caffeine and carbs."

You must be joking! ;-) I don't even like places like that. I avoid them most of the time. They're noisy, and the general level of company sucks! My kind of place is a quiet Asian restaurant where they serve me a big pot of Green tea and a rice dish of some kind or maybe Vietnamese Pho (soup) or Japanese sushi, and I sit there quietly for an hour or two, happily reading a book on Buddhism or Taoism or esoteric Christianity or international politics or philosophy...and nobody bothers me...and I bother no one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 12:07 PM

To be quite frank, Stilly, I have discovered over the past few decades that acquiring a new lady friend can be a hazardous undertaking that, although it surely has its inspiring and happy periods, it can eventually utterly overturn one's peaceful life, destroy one's peace of mind, and drive one finally to complete desperation. It is not the answer for enduring happiness, at least not for me. Perhaps it is for some. But if people think that someone or something outside of themselves is going to make them "happy ever after"....they're deluding themselves.

And, hey, no one believed that more fervently than me...back when I was younger! I went looking everywhere for that special "someone". I found myself a lot of heartache and trouble. I lost myself a few times in the process.

She ain't out there. She's inside me, quietly waiting for me to find her. She has always been inside me.

I realize most people won't believe that. They'll keep looking for the rest of their lives on the outside for what they can only find within themselves. That is the common condition of humanity. Jesus talked about this a lot. He said "look within". So did Buddha. So did all the great Masters. They were not whistling in the wind.

I'm not saying partnerships aren't good. They are. But you have to find happiness within yourself first...not look to find it in a partnership. If you ARE happy within yourself, then a partnership will probably work quite well, and its whole will be greater than the sum of its parts.

****

As for you, Amos, all you are doing is once again defending an ossified orthodoxy that you have long erected in your own mind...namely, the supposed sanctity of this gigantic, rambling, meaningless thread, characterized in your mind as an imagined "Mom"...the supposed Mother of all BS. And it's a complete fiction. And you know it. Yet you upbraid me for suggesting it ain't real??? Fie, sir! Fie! You are insincere in your protestations. You couldn't possibly be silly enough to believe them. You're too smart for that. Cease, therefore, your ridiculous quasi-religious posturing, go off and make some burnt offerings or something at the shrine of Mom to impress yourself and the other true believers here, and cease your efforts to get me arrested and crucified for daring to point out that your Holy Temple of MOAB has been erected on a foundation of sand, and put together with straw and rubber cement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 11:20 AM

The notion of a Dewey-headed index-card shuffler and toter of tomes prescribing Higher Knowledge strikes me as faintly ludicrous. But just faintly, like the walking ghost of Red Skelton on a castle parapet at midnight in October by the Rhone, or something.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 10:04 AM

I have returned to my place in the High Mountains, grasshoppers. Nay, mayflies (save for those with XX chromosomes), whose lives are measured in hours and whose entire Time is spent looking to reproduce. Oh ye Unknowing Ones! Do you not know that all BS is one, just as time and space and mass and energy are Unified? Cannot your minds accept this simple fact? You are all one with BS and BS is one with you. This you must accept if you are to reach The Higher Knowledge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM

THe Hawkster, he fell on his face
When his Mom put him hard in his place.
He'd tried to undo her,
To utterly screw her!
He was surely one hard-bitten case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 02:46 AM

Little Hawk, your case is even worse than I imagined earlier. I suggest you check around for a truckstop with the old table juke boxes and find one with that song in the play list. Sit yourself down with a cuppa coffee and a honeybun and play it real loud, see if you catch any woman's eye as you have the day's caffeine and carbs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 12 - 02:42 AM

MOM reabsorbs her own, obviously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 11:44 PM

If you were only paying attention in real time, LH, you would notice that the posts were from two of you bastardly concoctions, which appear now to have been folded into Mom as a reminder of your fatuous and dastardly lack of constancy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 08:22 PM

I've done a search for Uncle Harold, Mom's elder brother. He seems to have vanished! Well, I mean, his thread has. This is quite disturbing. However, I did predict that his would be only a brief moment of recognition...and it turns out I was right. Yes, once again my omnipotent powers of prediction have proven to be 100% correct. Uncle Harold had a very brief moment in the sun, as it were, and he has now faded back into obscurity, with a family that doesn't care, and only his dog loves him. It is almost as if he had never been (Unlike his younger sister, Mom, who insists on acting like only SHE matters! What a terrible case of an ego gone wild. If she was William Shatner, I could see it...but she isn't. And that's all there is to it.)

It's tragic. (sob) Let us all bow our heads and say a prayer for poor Uncle Harold, just another unappreciated member of Mom's very large extended family...none of whom get any respect around here, because she insists on hogging all the glory herself.

Why, it's almost like they were related to Nurse Ratched. They should get family counseling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM

Great song from the Willburys, Stilly. ;-) Yeah, if that happened, I'm sure it would eat up some of my computer time, all right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:52 PM

Have you become unhinged, Amos? Your last 2 posts make it appear that you are arguing with yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:50 PM

Little Hawk, some fetching young woman (younger than you, but not anyone born after about 1970) needs to pay you a visit and play her favorite horny old guy song and win your heart. And convince you that a little time away from the computer is a good thing.

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:43 PM

BillD - "Is it inherently possible that rhetorical questions can be used to obfuscate the consideration of relevant societal concerns in such internet fora as this?"

I'm not sure, Bill. It may be possible. Many things, after all, are possible...although they may still not be terribly likely. What would you rate the probabilities at on this one?

Have we just seen the denouement of the denuoement of all BS threads? Or haven't we?

How can anyone sleep until we find out for certain???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:24 PM

Stilly snagged 44444. Curses!
The fonts have to translate to the other people's computers. I'm pretty sure most Windows users have Comic Sans, but do Macs translate it? Does Linus? (or Lucy or Charlie Brown or Schroeder, for that matter). If I have a really serious computer, it probably won't understand "comic" anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:12 PM

LH certainly has a novel way of bringing new blood into the old thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:03 PM

Is it inherently possible that rhetorical questions can be used to obfuscate the consideration of relevant societal concerns in such internet fora as this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:02 PM

LH - MOM is weeping over this thread and you know how upset she gets when her gin gets diluted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:55 PM

Then, sir, why do you grace them with your inept efforts at imitation?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM

Jeez, you broke-dick mammalucca, cancha do somp'n productive? This stuff is BS to such an exponent as to lose all tangibility, all connection with the spirit of good BS. I try and try an try an where does it get me? I might as well be talking to a wall, I swear.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM

I prefer comic sans ms for BS, but it isn't the default in my browser. Several years ago I set my browser to use that as the default for a while, and got tired of looking at it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:25 PM

43?


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:22 PM

Oh! Such lack of faith!


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:14 PM

No.


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Subject: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:12 PM

Could this be it? Could this be the one thread that finally and completely unites, summarizes, and provides the answers to all the vexing questions that have been raised in all the other BS threads that have ever been launched on this forum? Could this be the one thread that resolves them all?

Could it????

If so, it could mean the end of BS as we know it!

Tune in every hour on the hour to find out the stunning truth and share in the culminating revelation of all that is BS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 03:59 PM

Better, I think, than thine own specious ramblings, sir, which are as bits of fluff drifting in a gentle breeze, mostly just tedium, and alike, no substance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 03:55 PM

The font of all BS is akin to the Fountain of Youth, Amos. Men ever seek it, yet they do not find it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM

YEt you cannot name the font of all BS, or dare not. I, whose heart is pure, have the strength of ten therefore, and name it without fear:

Bookman Old Style 14


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM

Pish-tush and pshaw to your puerile imitations, Sir Hawk. They are as dross in a high wind, all excitement and no substance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM

Amos plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-promoting delusions of grandeur and his esteemed entitlement as a supposed inner acolyte and faithful servant of the Mother. His ashes will one day join those of others like him, mouldering under the dust of forgotten centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

or...until his next lifetime! I predict he will be born as the son of a long-bearded and harsh Mullah in some small village in Afghanistan. He will grow up under stern direction, becoming deeply devout, and will devote the rest of his years to destroying invader infidels, keeping women behind the veil, resisting all forms of innovation, blowing up symbols of western decadence, and venerating Allah in every way possible. That is...Allah will have replaced "the Mother", you see... ;-)

I, on the other hand, will have reincarnated as an idealistic Norwegian woman who takes up a career in art and music and has a simply marvelous time. ;-) Our paths will not cross in that lifetime. I've already paid off all that karma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM

Little Hawk plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-caused plunge into ignominy and ill repute for having tourned his back on the Mother. His ashes will join the dust of centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM

I am being ware at this very moment, Amos. And what a lovely feeling it is! ;-) Everyone should be ware as often as possible, in my opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM

LH:

Thou dost mock, and yet knowest not that thou mockest. Such is the dark and bewildered fate of he who transgresses against the font of all BS. Beware, oh foolish mortal, beware.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM

Who are you addressing, Kassogtha? I don't recall mocking you. Are you acquainted with the Great Old Ones? Or dread Cthulhu? If so, I wouldn't dream of mocking you. The Necronomicon has made it quite clear that that sort of thing is unwise in the extreme!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kassogtha
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM

Do not mock Us, puny one, lest We devour you through all time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM

How things have changed. I remember when our Killing the Thread thread got killed for unwieldiness.

Now we will be watching for the magic moment when MOAB collects 44444 votes. Almost as exciting as watching one's dashboard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM

Wow. Impressive stuff, Rap. Keep in mind, though, which Mother we are talking about here. I have no quarrels with the Mother of All Being...that is, the Divine Mother, as spoken of in the Hindu traditions...or Mother Mary, as spoken of in Christianity, for example.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM

Fanny's your aunt and Bob's your mothers brother.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM

Look, even in the Cthäat Aquadingen it is written, "Thy Mother is thy Mother, and to abandon Her wilt bring upon thee the wrath of The Thing Without A Name, and It shall eat thy soul and purge it through Its awful body, and then thou shalt be picks up and thy Mother shall give thee a good shaking and throughout Endless Ages thou shalt be eaten and shat forth by That Without A Name."

This does not sound pleasant, but well, to each his own....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM

Look, LH. It's written in 4 Corinthians 36-38:
Do not annoy thy parents, especially thy Mother, for should thou do so thy time upon the Earth shall be nasty, brutish, and very short."

And in the "Tao T'chin" Lao Tzao said, "Your parents are your connection to Eternity. Do not offend them if you would achieve the Infinite."

Buddha wrote, "There is but One Mother for All and the All derives from that One Mother. This is the Greatest Wisdom and those who do not understand it shall be on The Wheel forever."

Every great thinker the World has ever known is against you. You are accumulating bad Karma and Mortal sins hand over fist. Your choice....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM

Now Little Hawk remember Granny Dom comes frae Bonny Scotland she is no Little Hawk but a flamin great Golden Eagle. As for uncle Tam weel he wis a riviter on the Clyde they wan day asked him to have a try at thon new fangled welding weel as usuall got a bit carried awa and cut the hull of 534 clean in half of course the pit her back thegither and never did tell Queen Mary her namesake had for a brief time been QM 1 and 2


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Musket
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM

Most kids where I come from had lots of "Uncles."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM

Ahhh.

It is good to know that some things never change.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM

Well, yes, Rapparee...I admit there is a danger that it could go that far.

But I really don't expect that it will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM

Think it over?


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Subject: My Cousin-In-Law's Girlfriend's Cousin of MOAB
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM

See? It could become "The Hairdresser of My Cousin-In-Law's Best Friend's Aunt's Great-Half-Uncle's Maternal Grandfather's Great-Aunt's Mother of All BS Threads" -- or worse.

STOP, Little Hawk, in the name of love!


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