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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rustic Rebel 18 Jul 06 - 01:47 AM
Rustic Rebel 18 Jul 06 - 01:20 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 06 - 10:00 PM
Acme 17 Jul 06 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 06 - 05:23 PM
Amos 17 Jul 06 - 05:06 PM
GUEST,Mother MOAB 17 Jul 06 - 04:41 PM
MMario 17 Jul 06 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 06 - 03:04 PM
Amos 17 Jul 06 - 02:51 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 06 - 01:40 PM
Amos 17 Jul 06 - 12:52 PM
Acme 17 Jul 06 - 10:46 AM
Amos 17 Jul 06 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 06 - 09:01 AM
MMario 17 Jul 06 - 08:30 AM
Amos 17 Jul 06 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 16 Jul 06 - 05:55 PM
Acme 16 Jul 06 - 05:36 PM
Amos 16 Jul 06 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 06 - 11:35 AM
Acme 16 Jul 06 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 16 Jul 06 - 10:38 AM
Acme 16 Jul 06 - 10:12 AM
Amos 15 Jul 06 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 06 - 09:12 PM
Acme 15 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM
Amos 15 Jul 06 - 12:04 PM
Acme 15 Jul 06 - 10:43 AM
Amos 15 Jul 06 - 09:52 AM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 11:47 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 11:29 PM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 09:39 PM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 07:01 PM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 06:29 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Jul 06 - 06:03 PM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 01:39 PM
Acme 14 Jul 06 - 11:39 AM
MMario 14 Jul 06 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 11:25 AM
Acme 14 Jul 06 - 11:22 AM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 09:42 AM
MMario 14 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 09:33 AM
MMario 14 Jul 06 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 14 Jul 06 - 09:14 AM
Amos 14 Jul 06 - 12:40 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Jul 06 - 01:47 AM

Simply told a story of poetic justice
That which bears the name of man's injustice
Tell the tale and flee for substance
Forefathers warned us of living in a stream of incontinence,
believe what will be will be
But, is there a conscience?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Jul 06 - 01:20 AM

I wept up the water
on the flour pastry
that was really meant for bread upon the aboriginal structure
of the promising poetic feature
that sprung from a Stilly River
and as it sang,
a poetic stream of quarky rhythm,
it sprung life
to her refrain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 10:00 PM

It's cleaned out. I ate most of it. Contrary to popular opinion, when she's gone I usually eat at home -- meals that I made, not takeout.

Since the beginning of May, Pat's been home about 17 days, max. She's tired of suitcases and more than ready to spend time here. Of course, she's about ready for another free airplane trip from Southwest, but!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 09:11 PM

That's all well and good,
but is the fridge cleared out
of the spoiled food from
two weeks ago before Pat left?

(Doesn't scan worth a damn, but looks like a poem. hehe!)

Give her a hug for all of us tomorrow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 05:23 PM

Because I could not stop for BS
BS kindly stopped for me.
The carriage held just the two of us
And immorality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 05:06 PM

It is clear that between our Mom and our DuckDog, and our deep sensitivity to the Higher Truth, we are absolutely immortal here in the safe bosom of MOAB. This is better than "Old Shep" and "Leave It to Beaver" rolled into one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mother MOAB
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 04:41 PM

Children, please keep your eyes upon The Truth!

For what is
real, and what
is aboriginal,
cannot be
fucked with.



And dear Gluon agrees.

Quark!


Quark!


Quark! 



Quark!


Quark!


Quark!



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 03:06 PM

As clearly stated in the various qoutes from the book of MOAB earlier in this very conversation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 03:04 PM

There is but one crystaline well; only one fountain from which springs, pure and complete the finest, the premium, the exquisite, top-notch, transcendent, high-grade, terrific, groovy, BS and that is (all bow) MOAB, and those who think otherwise will be hung, shot, beheaded, drawn-and-quartered, garrotted, and made the centerpiece of an auto-de-fe, right after Mom spanks them for their heresy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 02:51 PM

Thanks for adding the correct attribution, Rapaire. I omitted it in error. But, then, the QUALITY of the BS makes it clear that it is drawn from one of the few really pure wellsprings available.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 01:40 PM

Yessir, I believe everything that comes out of The Onion. It is my way, truth and life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 12:52 PM

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
August 17, 2005 | Issue 41?33

KANSAS CITY, KS?As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.


Enlarge Image

Rev. Gabriel Burdett explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity?which is taught to our children as a law?is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall?just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 10:46 AM

105 here today. Humidity this morning is 55%. It doesn't feel good. It's probably pretty warm in D.C. but Pat will notice the dryer air when she gets home.

Does it cool off in the evening? That was one thing I thought very attractive about the Manzano Mountains, east of Albuquerque when I almost moved there a few years ago. Sunset meant a lot more comfort. Not so here in North Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 09:32 AM

LOL!!

Rich!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 09:01 AM

The humidity isn't to be scoffed at. Up on the bench at the Legion Hovel there was a terrible tragedy. Saturday afternoon was the annual "All You Can Drink Beer Festival And Potato Bake-Off." The Bake-Off was cancelled due to the heat (as it is every year), but the beer drinking was carried off in its usual superb form.

Unfortunately, the humidity at Hovel was -12.4%, it being higher up than the weather station on the valley floor. The moisture was sucked right out of the beer as soon as it left the keg, leaving nought but a slushy compound of beer residue in your cup, stein, flagon or barrel. When this was consumed, as it was of course, it sucked the moisture out of the surrounding tissues. Downing one of them left a human raisin, two of them left a freeze-dried body, and three of them left a pile of dust to be swept away by the hot sirroco wind.

We lost Slim Chance, Geralo Fats, River Silt, Half-Gun Sam, and Short Rope to the wind. They're now somewhere out on the Snake River Plain, pushing up potatoes. The others were taken to American Falls Reservoir and dunked repeatedly until they were back to their abnormal selves. Then they were taken to the Drunk Tank in the Hovel to sober up; it was the first use of the DT since the pink elephants and blue snakes that decorate the walls were refreshed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 08:30 AM

11% humidity? you lucky lucky person. I feel like I've been breathing water the last two days. 95 degrees and something like 97% humidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 12:01 AM

...and it will make for super brownie points with her if everything is shipshape and put away, I expect!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 05:55 PM

97F. Humidity's 11%. I've finished the grass, unloaded the bags of topsoil, and have blown the porch and patio clean of grass, etc. Now just laundry and picking up and putting away and...Pat comes back on Tuesday evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 05:36 PM

Mom, you're looking a little toasty here in the middle of the page. Come on over under the shade and have a glass of freshly made iced tea. Here's the chair I always move around to the shady spot, right next to the wading pool. Don't worry about the dogs, they'll just drool on your lap a little before they lie down again. And Cinnamon will probably take a dip (it's her pool). You can dangle your feet in it if you want, we clean it every couple of days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 12:03 PM

Feel free, Mike. What the hey.

If you do, fix the punctuation for me, would ya?

...condescending.

...some mending.

Ta.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 11:35 AM

Seated at the oaken table, in the hall without a roof,
Eyes ensanguined from perusing tomes of eldrich, arcane lore
Comes the slowly, soft unfolding from the pigeons overhead
All you know and need e'er know, wisdom's straight unvarnished truth,
Splattered o'er your chairs and parchments,
The meaning of the Raven's "Nevermore."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 10:57 AM

Amos will be famous!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 10:38 AM

In fact, with proper attribution, I'd like to post it at the Library and share it on the Idaho library listserve. Okay with you, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 10:12 AM

It was a gem, Amos. Worthy of appropriation for that other thread about poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 11:58 PM

Jaysus, ya fling pearls an' all ya get back is complaints about yer aim...sheesh.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 09:12 PM

Oh no! We still use catalog cards and still maintain the card catalog. In fact, we use both a computer catalog AND a card catalog. And the catalog cards are written in the "library hand" using crow-quill pens and that good ink that doesn't fade or go brown. Technical Services insists on doing this, and they have a 55-gallon drum of ink in the back that's never been tapped along with several hundred pounds of new catalog cards. Out here in Idaho, a very "red" state, we don't hold with all them new, unproven, things like typewrites and stuff. We wouldn't have the IBM-PCs we have if the State Library hadn't bought 'em for us. And a danged good thing they bought us all them 5.25 inch floppy disks at the same time, too, 'cause there's only a couple stores around here that sell 'em anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM

Index cards? What century is your library in, Amos? The only index cards I've seen recently are for the tons of federal documents that aren't cataloged in the computer system in our library. That catalog is a novelty, a conversation piece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 12:04 PM

A library without a roof
Is good -- it brings perspective
Enjoins the seekers after truth
From haughty, cold directives
And stays them from pretence, aloof
And condescending,

To walk among the whispers there
Of ages wise and good, while overhead
The local star goes by, and summer air
Reminds the scholars, looking up in dread
From curls of complex, mental snares
Into whose coils they have been led,
That life does not happily bless
The unbending.

And if, immersed in tides of facts
And paradox and half-moved arrows,
The scholar, rumbling in his tracks
Should be distracted by some sparrow
Or a humming bird's sudden attack
And finds the world had grown less narrow
And fields, more than fences, could use
Some mending.

This would not be a bad thing, in truth
I think I'd like to study there--
A hall of books without a roof,
Where dew can fall on students hair
Where stars can visit in the listening booths,
And winds can turn the leaves in pairs
And send the index cards awry, in a dance
Unending.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 10:43 AM

What are your plans in lieu of having a roof on the library, Rap? Will you provide pool chairs and lounges and charge people fees to come in and get tan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 09:52 AM

Whoops...must overr-deflected and had to circumnavigate a couple of circumlocutory circumbendibuses.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:47 PM

Your deflective skills are in top form. Good luck!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:29 PM

No, to keep from looking up when they start tearing the roof off the Library on Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:05 PM

I see right through you, good sir. You're practicing up, aren't you? To go into Politics? As a Republican?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:39 PM

...stiff-necked...

Well yeah, I've been that way for about a week. But I went to the doctor today and she manipulated my neck and prescribed a muscle relaxant for me to take at bedtime. Hopefully I won't be stiff-necked much longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 08:22 PM

You, sir, are obdurate, incorrigible, wilfiul, unfeeling, intractable, adamant, stiff-necked, bullheaded, dogged, obstinate and hard-boiled, hard-hearted, hard-nosed, harsh, immovable, implacable, indurate, mean, perverse, relentless, rigid, thick-skinned, unbending, uncooperative, unrelenting,inflexible, iron-skulled, unsympathetic, callous and mulish.

But I like you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 07:01 PM

I didn't know that Durham Cathedral was the home of 404 errors. Is it some old curse or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 06:33 PM

Try this one, Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 06:29 PM

You're going to visit a 404 error?? Let me know how it is...I've been curious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 06:03 PM

I'm off to here for a week, bashing rocks and such like. Maybe even learning stuff too.

This is the other side of hadons wall, so I will be out of phase with Moab for some time, and if I attempt to make any posts, Gluon will eat them....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 01:39 PM

If you look to see whether Gluon is on the bed or not, you will be disappointed by the unreliability of the observation. Once you observe him, he immediately looks just like a cat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:39 AM

Tea. Cuppa tea. I've been trying to cut back on the caffiene. I have a little headache. I'll be back later (the cat wants me to go take a nap with him--maybe I'll take up that invitation, and it sounds much more restful than sleeping with Gluon on the bed).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:30 AM

stilly dear - have some coffee. using his REAL name woudln't have worked....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:25 AM

Are any of you aware of the newly discovered "fat" particle, the shatnor? It's one dimensional, has an interesting spin, covers its "up" with a cloud of quarks, and sometimes goes out of phase.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:22 AM

Isn't he Spiner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:42 AM

A boson is a particle,
A sort of tiny article
But a boatswain may be what you're thinking
Of (unless you have been drinking).
Not an officer, wears no hat,
Much too competent for that!
Bosn's know the ins and outs
Of evey line and rope about
And where's the lead, and where's the brush
And red-lead needed in a rush
And how to parcel, serve and splice,
ANd other talents not so nice.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM

yes, along with the clavicle and the herpologist


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:33 AM

I thought a spinon was a type of piano.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:17 AM

And it was Brent Spinon that played Data on Star Trek TNG.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:14 AM

Isn't a boson a ship's officer or something? I thing s/he has her/his own chair as well as his/her own whistle. And didn't hadron build that wall in Britain that seperated it from Scotland or someplace? (I only ask these things because I'm an aware person.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 12:40 AM

A was going to write a flowery pentametric sonnet concerning Rapaire's duckdob and it's relationship to the boson's hadron.

But my heart wasna in it.

I think Stilly has made a wise observation, also.


A


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