BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM

Congratulations to all MOABites, everywhere, and to ou rown heroic Rapaire for defending the 3500th post from the encroaching talons of all has-been wannabe actors (other than himself, of course!). :>))

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM

Hey, when I last trod the boards it was with top billing in a work by George Bernard Shaw, no less!

Androcles and the Lion. Cast in order of appearance: a lion....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 05:55 PM

I spoke to Bill about post 3500. He said, "Naww...I'm going to go easy on them and let someone else have it this time." He is a model of generosity and compassion which it would behoove us all to follow. The Man is virtually egoless. It's a very rare thing in Hollywood.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:00 PM

Hollywood my sweet Anglo-Saxon tushie!! Little Hawk, you are lying through your teeth! You just made that up!! Admit it!!

(Why do I let this &)+_@#$@$#^^&)(* annoy me?)


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:26 PM

Little Hawk never lies. He's from Orillia.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:35 PM

Heh! Heh!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:45 PM

See? See?? You can see it in the way he types that little laugh of his!! Orillia shmeelia!! He's a dog biscuit.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 10:01 PM

Ho!

What is this dog biscuit? Amos, if you are a man, why do you not cleave this Little Hawk from helm to gullet? And if you do not like this actor person, stake him out with a Blood Eagle and let Huginn and Muninn carry the news of it to Valaskjalf's master.

If you are truly offended, there can be no kin retribution.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 11:30 PM

Thanks, friend Harald!! Consider it as good as done!! Ho!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 07:00 AM

finally saw our friend W.S. in his perfect role...smarmy beauty pageant host...he was perfect! almost as fine a performance as the "Rant"

J

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:10 AM

So that means you watched the movie Miss Congeniality, right? Funny thing about that, Shatner was probably playing himself straight and Candy Bergen was hamming it up for her role. :) Michael Caine was pretty good.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:21 AM

What was the stupid cop movie that BS played himself in? (cop and actor doing a tv show; BS hired as a consultant (god knows why))

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:29 PM

No, this movie came out a year or two ago, with Sandra Bullock. I don't remember what the cop show was, but you can look it up in the IMDB.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:37 PM

in Miss Congeniality I was hoping BS would catch the bomb and get blown up...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:42 PM

Blow job????

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:52 PM

Reg'lar humbucker!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:04 PM

You could hire William Shatner as a consultant on practically anything. He has a chameleon-like ability to match the terrain perfectly and yet remain inimitably and unforgettably Shatnerian at all times. He is like a force of Nature...ineffable, unstoppable, indescribable, irresistible.








Heh! (I can see Amos going slowly mad as he reads the above...)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:54 PM

I see right through you, Little Hawk. I am not going to chase your puffed-up straw tiger. YOU are the very little man behind the curtain, creating this meretricious and pusillanimous fantasy-icon in the hopes that others will confuse it with reality. You fool no-one with your overblown hyperbole. You should get an honest job as a journalist for Fox news. Perhaps your friend Shatner will offer to give you a reference as a good PR-smoke-and-mirrors man.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:27 PM

Amos -- are you implying that William Shatner was created by LH, like the "Wizard" was created by the dude behind the curtain in the Emerald Palace? That Shatner is Little Hawk (and, of course, vice-versa)?

Oh, my.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:29 PM

nah - couldn't be. BS is obviously older the LH. And LH come up with much better characters (and more believable ones) as witness 'chongo'

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:36 PM

There is a real Shatner, whimpering and withered in the corner somewhere. The image that LH keeps trotting out is purely a figment and nothing to do witht he actuality. It is this will o'the wisp that LH uses to lure people into paying attention to him.

Do not be fooled.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:00 PM

Are you implying that I couldn't survive without your puny attention?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:01 PM

Okay, I see. Shatner is a poor, withered, old man, his skin sere and blotched and white from imprisonment in a moldy damp dungeon, one rotten tooth left in his blackened, scurvied gums with which he attempts to consume the swill he is allowed. And LH parades the name around like a will-o'-the-wisp, deceiving and misleading those who might follow.

Got it.

Perhaps a "Free Shatner" movement is needed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM

I have it on good authority that Bill will be sitting happily on his spacious deck this weekend, barbecuing steaks and reading fan mail, while his beautiful daughter will be managing his website. He will bask in the comfort of his well-earned golden years, surrounded by the fruits of a glorious career. He may deign to stop in and post to this pitiable thread. You never know. I've got my fingers crossed.

Chongo says "thanks!" for the compliment, Mario. He says you are "top banana" as far as he's concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:26 PM

I have it on good authority that LH is being used as the definitive paradigm case in a studio of pathological obsessive fantasy management.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM

I assert that my "good authority" is inherently superior to yours. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:37 PM

I have it on the very best authority that your authority is under investigation for fraudulent projection of illusions of grandeur.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 05:16 PM

Cocka-Doodle-Doo!!!

Wheedawgs
and Yowzah!!

Ahhh...I'm off for a few days and had to let that loose somewhere. Thank you MOAB.

Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM

Gentlemen! Let's not have this degenerate into a common "Mine's bigger than yours" argument. I suggest that you settle this like the gentlemen you are: by the duel.

As it cannot at this time be determined who gave the first offense, you will fire at the same time. Weapons will be hande gonnes of .69 caliber or larger, fired at a distance of not less than 50 meters.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM

Well, of course we will fire "at the same time". Isn't that what is usually done? I would not want to fire, say, 30 seconds after the other guy. Not unless he missed. Hmmm. Gotta think about this. If he missed, I could take my time, aim really carefully, and...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 07:14 PM

No, no! It is a duel au signal. One of the seconds, chosen by lot, will clap once and both will raise arms. Three seconds later, s/he will clap again and aim will be taken. Upon the third clap, three seconds after the second, both parties will fire at the same time.

If anyone is standing after the first fire, the seconds will determine if the principals (Amos and LH) are equal by having the principals "whip it out and prove it." If the principals do not agree to this, a second fire will be performed, and so on and so on and so on and so on, etc. ad nauseum.

Should both still be standing after the forty-third fire and no reconciliation is yet possible, the principals will have at it with chain saws having blades at least thirty-six inches in length, from the same distance from which the fires were done. This will continue until the principals are pooped.

Note: no provision is made for powder, shot, or gasoline (petrol).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 07:43 PM

Ha! Amos is no doubt shaking in his little booties. I am ready for the challenge, yes, chafing at the bit. I will atomize his California oranges and defoliate his peach groves and leave him totally fruitless!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 08:55 PM

I am so tempted to fall into this lizard brained chest thumping hairy-chested glare-fight. But I am of a higher order, and I don't resort to violence to resolve issues of verbal behavior. Sorry.

LH, if you find the plane of Agreed-Upon Reality, do let me know. We can use it as a starting point and evolve a wonderful understanding about something or other. I look forward to that point in your evolutionary advance.

Very best regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:31 PM

I am pleased to observe, however, that I have finally gotten Little Hawk's goat, which he most richly deserves.

Nice to see they are letting Canadians use familiars from the armed forces over here. A good exercise in diplomacy.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:36 PM

Damn, and here I wanted to see a couple of guys standing better than fifty meters apart, swinging great big chain saws.

Oh well.

Here's something else, instead:

An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital during the
Great War. At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a
number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to
examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer
sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak
your place, painch tripe or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as
lang's my arm."
    The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient,
and immediately the patient launches into: "Some hae meat, and canna
eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit."
    This continues with the next patient: "Wee sleekit cow'rin
tim'rous beastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start
awa sae hasty, Wi bickering brattle I wad be laith to run and chase
thee, Wi murdering prattle!"
    "Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see
you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."
    "Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the
Serious Burns unit."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 10:52 PM

Ach, Rapaire....I really appreciate the chance to review this classic bit of humor. It reminds me of some really great times past, swapping jokes with you. Musta been...what....five months ago??   :>))

How time flies when you are having fun. Since I reused the Navy Goat it is only fair, I suppose.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:47 PM

Farradh gach fíor, is fuíoll níor fágadh,        
Dearbhadh díble ar Bhíobla an lá san        
Cúis dar ndóigh ná geobhaidh tú saor tríd,—        
Cnú na hóige dá feo le faolras        
Is easnamh daoine suite ar Éire—        
Do mheath led chuimhne an síolrach daonna;        
Is folamh is is tráite fágadh tíortha,        
An cogadh is an bás gan spás dá ndíogadh,        
Uabhar na ríthe is ar imigh thar sáile        
Nuair ná deineann sibh tuilleadh ina n-áit díobh.        
Is náir d'bhur n-iomad gan siorrach gan síolrach        
Is mná ina muirear ar muir is ar tíortha,        
Connsaí chorpartha is borracaí óga,        
Is bonsaí bhrothallach fola agus feola,
Lóistigh liosta agus leigithí shásta        
Is mórgaigh shioscaithe d'imigh i bhásta;        
Is trua gan toircheas stollairí den tsort seo,        
Is trua gan tórmach brollaigh is bóta iad,        
Is minic iad ullamh an focal dá bhfaighidís        
Ag titim dá mogaill is molaimse a bhfoighne.        

                                     --Merriman

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:57 PM

Why don't you excuse yourself until you can breath normally?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ironmule
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:46 AM

So, if a tree falls in the forest, and no woman is there to hear it, is it still the husband's fault?

Jeff Smith ;^)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 07:17 AM

yes

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 07:27 AM

Okay, but why?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:05 PM

Couldn't think of anything funny to say, Ironmule? Ah well. Keep trying. You'll come up with something eventually.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 12:09 AM

what a day. Best I can do is a neutral boost back up to the top.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 01:33 AM

Flash! Mother De-vaporizes!!

Completely Out of Steam

The Mother of All BS thread barely missed catastrophic fall-off late today, a fate it has not suffered through all its hundreds of incarnations. It ran completely out of steam, and was flaccid and dull for a half-dozen posts, during which time it nearly fell off the days' lists. Fortunately a stout-hearted regular, though bored and exhausted, managed to pull it back up with her last wrist-fillip before crawling off to an exhausted and mortified sleep.

Film at 11.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 03:26 AM

Ironmule-Welcome and please feel free to participate in our week-end- "Get to see your body in a different view" week-end.
This week-end, we will view the feet.
Everyone , remove your shoes and stockings.
Bring your feet up together, (this is not only a good strech practice, but it will also air you out)
Now, look at your heels.
Imagine an ass.
An ass that can move cheek to cheek.
An ass that is supple and vibrant.
Let your heels be the ass.
Go with the flow.

This ends our session for the week-end of June 19-21, 2004.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 03:32 AM

P.S. I forgot to mention....
Stay tuned for next week-ends edition of... viewing the face.... eyebrows first.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 10:52 AM

Welcome back, RR! Off the wall as usual, and refreshingly different!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 11:13 AM

counting down (or up?)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 11:13 AM

..49

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 11:14 AM

3550!!!