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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 27 Nov 07 - 10:31 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 10:23 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 08:48 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 05:22 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM
Acme 27 Nov 07 - 03:21 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 07 - 02:26 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 02:19 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM
MMario 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 09:17 AM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 12:40 AM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 07:01 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 05:38 PM
Janie 26 Nov 07 - 05:33 PM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 04:47 PM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 01:38 PM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 01:21 PM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 12:28 PM
Donuel 26 Nov 07 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 11:43 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 10:47 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 10:28 AM
MMario 26 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 09:05 AM
MMario 26 Nov 07 - 08:52 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM
Amos 26 Nov 07 - 12:27 AM
Acme 26 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM
Janie 25 Nov 07 - 11:10 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 06:35 PM
Amos 25 Nov 07 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 07 - 04:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:31 PM

Fools rush in where angels doubt,
To match the foe with hasty clout,
No need then to hesitate,
Two-oh-seven, six and eight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:23 PM

Just the thing the bark to leaven:
Twenty, seven, six and seven!!
Such a number fair should pinch
Rapaire's urge to be a Grinch!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:12 PM

Congratulations, Rapaire. I am sure all the sibs join me in saying no-one deserves an award of this kind more than you do. You brown-nose.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 08:48 PM

Dear Mom,

I received an award today. So did the Library. Same one.

"In recognition of your devoted contribution and outstanding service to the making of the 2007 Field of Heroes...."

The FoH is a project of the various local veterans' service organizations. A white cross, with a name, rank and date of death, is placed in cemetery order for everyone killed in Afghanistan and Iraq. It makes quite a show, and brings the casualties home with a gut punch.

Pocatello is the only city in the US that does this on this scale.

So, the vets' groups wanted to film it -- the Library of Congress had asked them for a video of it.

I said that the Library would pay $500.00 for one of the videos. That was the opening bid and enough was raised to do the videotaping. Unfortunately, there isn't enough to do more than to make the rough cut DVD of 15 minutes. More money (about $5,000) is needed.

I think that they gave me the award because the Library has the center for finding grants and they want me to find the five grand.

Kinda neat though, getting an award.

Just thought I'd let you know, Mom.

The next award will be a Grammy.

Your wonder boy,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 08:07 PM

Well -- if you say so, arlet-vay. That's not where it was when I knicked saw it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 05:22 PM

No, it was over on the left side. Under the dresser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:41 PM

I can only infer that you style yourself a Most Collectible Varlet, Rapaire. If so, I commend you on your collectibility and hope that some distant traveler collects you in the near future. And congratulations on discovering your Inner Varlet nature, and your MCV status.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM

But I am, you know. I am very much so. And without doubt I am the finest specimen and would be eminently collectible, extraordinarily valuable.

As for the other thing, I haven't any idea who took it. Amos may, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:21 PM

They're doing carpentry and caulking around the house today, MOM. It isn't as noisy as before, but it is a distraction. Be sure to watch where you're stepping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM

YEah, I hear that's what Rush Limbaugh was saying right up to the end, too...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:26 PM

They tried putting me on meds. The fools! It had no effect whatsoever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:19 PM

Or, to put it yet another way,

Alop-say Ochon-cay! Ourdrez-Fay Oi-may leway Aix-Pay!! A-tay Oeur-say Isse-pay Eue-Blay!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM

But from another point of view, I can only repeat the oft-voiced sentiment:

Ie-Fay, Ie-Fay, Apair-Ray. Ogay Otay, Arletvay!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM

Well, in a way it is comforting to see you are maintaining the scale and range of your endeavours. When people in public talk like that book, they get rounded up by social services, you know, and put on meds.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM

Good thing Pratchett's Librarian doesn't speak Pig Latin....

everything he would say would turn out as ook-ay


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM

Don't worry, Amos. You still have worth and are a good human being. Mom still loves you, even though you can't think of everything. And Stilly and MMario and everyone, even me, will take good care of you. Now here's your Teddy Bear and Mom will be here in just a moment to tuck you in. So dry those tears and I'll read you this nice story about a man who was a big hero and killed a monster!

    Węthay! Eway Ardenagay       in eardagumgay,
    eodcyningažay,         rymžay efrunongay,
    uhay ažay želingasęay       ellenay remedonfay....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM

YEs, Rapaire, even I, your loyal combatant, must admit that, within its scale and range, this is a brilliant innovation on your part.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:17 AM

I think it's quite an accomplisment to post Latin in pig latin, especially since it never before occurred to me to do so.

This opens up whole new worlds of obnoxiousness...Icelandic in pig latin, for instance:

Mosaay er éttlįturray brżšisamurafay.

Or maybe Finnish:

Mosaay on ohtuullinenkay rkaay.

Or Klingon. Or Dutch. Or Polynesian. Or Obscene. Or Profane. Or....

Sorry, Mom. I got carried away with the moment.

By the way, Salmon River Sally found Pibsco last night. At Dirty Dani's Devilish Den. You can now use his hide as a sieve, if for some reason you wanted to do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 12:40 AM

Rergapergaire ergis erga bergig ergostergentergatiergous shergow-ergoff, Mergom.

Mergake hergim stergop!

Sergo thergere!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 10:59 PM

Mom, you're slipping. Probably that silly pig-latin stuff. It's one thing to say it, but another entirely to try to read it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 07:01 PM

Ha, Umusfay, racoday agusmay
Coluitinay aremay.
Usitlay utumnalalay'licilay
Aritimomay Analohay.


Hooha!! The chorus to "Puff the Magic Dragon" in Latin as pig latin!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM

Oh, Anie-Jay!! You say the eetestsway ingsthay!!

Mosaway


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 05:38 PM

I didn't see your thread, Still -- even though I usually hunt down every semicolon you post like a ravenous lynx -- but I saw Paul's performance on You Tube a few weeks back and it slayed me.

What an evening for him!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 05:33 PM

Maggie,

I think either method would work, but the age may need extended to 60 or so;^)

I wish you guys would limit your use of foreign languages here to those I can read and understand.

Let's see, that pretty much limits you to pig latin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 04:47 PM

MOM, none of the boys has turned up to visit my other little thread about a contest in the UK. Here's a YouTube link, and if you poke around on the side you'll see the second performance and the final competition. There is also a video with the announcement.

MOM likes stories with happy endings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 04:42 PM

If one looks at modern politics, the evidence is unmistakable that one can be penalized for making a decision as easily as if one can't make a decision.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 03:55 PM

...the other is the penalty for being able to make a decision.

Should oughta be a "not" in there somewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM

Reminds me.

Salmon River Sally was in town last night. Naturally, she dropped up to the Legion Hovel, her bein' a Legionette and all.

Being a Legionette is no different at all from being a Legionaire. It just depends upon which box you check on the application and/or annual renewal form. Some folks check 'em both and pay double dues. Some folks don't check either one and pay triple dues. The first is the penalty for being a wise ass and the other is the penalty for being able to make a decision. Of course, dues are twenty-five cents per year (or one hundred hours of community service if you don't have any money).

Anyway, Sally was looking for Pibsco. Seems like he took off from home about a week back and hasn't been seen since. Or heard. Or, as is usual, smelled. And Sal was packing a sawed-off ten gauge. They'd apparently had some marital difficulty or other.

Pibsco hadn't been around the Hovel; probably figured that was the second place Sally would look with the first being the outhouse. Ol' Pibsco spends lots of time in there, mostly because it masks his own odor. In fact, an old outhouse smells downright refreshing after Pibsco.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM

'S alright; I though you were being an umlout, and took the error as a confession.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 01:38 PM

My, my. I note that I misspelled "umlaut" and used the wrong "here" in my last post.

Well, us folks out here in Idaho STILL don't need no fancy ~ or ^ or anything like that! If it was good enough for the Declaration of Independence it's good enough for us!

And we agree with Ben Franklin, too! Let's make German our national language!

(We could make the turkey our national bird, too, only we already have enough of those in the White House and the Congress.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 01:21 PM

Did we answer your question, Janie?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:28 PM

Hear? Hear?

And that was a circonflex, mon vieux. If you can't take the accent, stay away from the language.

Anyway, I am glad to hear you have learned to raise the seat. That's progress. I recall back in your Legionairre days, the only time you raised the seat was to pray.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:22 PM

better yet:

gay muslim for choice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM

Besides, I don't have all them fancy-schmancy carets and accent marks and umlouts and stuff. Out here in Idaho we don't hold with all that. Good plain letters was good enough fer our forefathers and by God! they're good enough for us!

(Survivor: Idaho (TV show proposal): Driving a pink cadillac with California licenses plates on it and a bumper sticker that reads "I'm gay and I'm hear to take away your guns.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 11:43 AM

You badmouthin' my aim? I always put the seat up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 10:47 AM

I hope Rapaire's aim is better than his French, that's all I can say. C'est pas sa tête qui est plein de merde, mais peut-etre son âme.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 10:28 AM

Not too firmly, I would hope; I get sympathetic flinching just thinking about it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:45 AM

Abagail has him pretty firmly in hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:39 AM

Millard -- in your heart you wonder on the other hand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 09:05 AM

Millard Fillmore -- in your heart you know he's right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 08:52 AM

Hi MOM! 1842 is lovely as usual - I got to meet Charles Dickens! And President Polk. Mr. Mayor Millard Fillmore was sick most of the weekend - but Mrs. Fillmore kept everyone hopping with caroling and stuff to impress the President. (She's asked Father Christmas for a white house for Christmas - I guess Millard is going to have to buy some paint - 'cause their house is beige....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM

I subscribe to the theory that ALL children should be nailed into barrels when they turn 12 years old and fed through the bunghole. At 18 you can decide whether or not to drive in the bung.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:27 AM

As the old blues says:

There just ain't no....
Ain't noooo understandin'
That ole testosterone
.

Course, how I know is (1) I been there and (2) I wrote them blues.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 07 - 12:08 AM

No. My mother subscribed to the idea that they should be stuffed in baskets that hang on the wall, and let out at age 21.

Funny that these ideas should have come from two mental health professionals, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 11:10 PM

MOM, urgent question. Is it true that boys should be chloroformed somewhere between age 12 and 14, then kept under glass until they are at least 27?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 10:36 PM

Oh!! I'm sorry. You meant Malibu.

Malibu is about ninety miles away from here. So no worries.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 10:33 PM

They were put out a couple of weeks back, as I recall.

Are you still carrying them around? Or are you having to watch reruns on the news bwcause of the writer's strikes?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 06:35 PM

How're you doing with them fires, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 06:00 PM

Wal, you know what they say, John -- when a man's gotta go, he's gotta go...eel or no eel.


I am home nopw, Mom. I spent a delightful weekend at Mudlark's quiet ranchito out under the moon near Paso Robles on the Central Coast. Beautiful country.

I am glad to be home, but I had a wonnerful time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 07 - 04:04 PM

Jaysus....


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