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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 27 Jul 07 - 04:45 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 07 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 07 - 01:11 PM
beardedbruce 27 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 07 - 12:36 PM
MMario 27 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM
Acme 27 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM
beardedbruce 27 Jul 07 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 07 - 09:26 AM
Amos 27 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM
beardedbruce 27 Jul 07 - 07:34 AM
beardedbruce 27 Jul 07 - 07:23 AM
Acme 27 Jul 07 - 01:27 AM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM
Acme 26 Jul 07 - 05:46 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 04:37 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 04:35 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 04:33 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 04:24 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 04:22 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 04:18 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM
Acme 26 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 03:40 PM
Acme 26 Jul 07 - 03:30 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM
Amos 26 Jul 07 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM
Acme 26 Jul 07 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 07 - 09:20 AM
MMario 26 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM
Acme 26 Jul 07 - 01:14 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM
Amos 25 Jul 07 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 07 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 07 - 03:14 PM
MMario 25 Jul 07 - 03:11 PM
Amos 25 Jul 07 - 02:58 PM
Acme 25 Jul 07 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 07 - 01:21 PM
MMario 25 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM
John Hardly 25 Jul 07 - 12:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 04:45 PM

She has never been proud of fraud, Rapaire; that's the one lesson she tried over and over to teach you, both in and out of public toilets!! "Do not deceive, lie or pretend." I can't count the number of times I watched her haul you off by your left ear, rapping your skull with her thimble, in an effort to get this simple lesson across. Yet here you are quoting Beowulf in the original as though intimate with the tongue. Nay, nay, sirrah, it is never too late. Reform!! Recant!! Repent!! Rethink!! Recast your life in the paths of virtue, I do entreat you!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 02:02 PM

Womens always laughed at me and even guys did in the public toilets!

This is the opening line to an email I just received. I feel so sorry for this poor guy that I replied with the name of a good psychiatrist. I know all too well what it is like to be laughed at in public toilets, and I know too that a good psychiatrist can fix him right up. (I also included the name of a good grammarian.)

I did this to make Mom proud. I know she's proud of me, so I used Amos's email address.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 01:11 PM

Or the old Irish poems:

Duan Amhairghine
Am geth tar na bhfarraige
Am tuile os chinn maighe
Am dord na dathbhe
Am damh seacht mbeann
Am drchtn rotu ngrin
Am an frich torc
Am seabhac a nad i n-aill
Am ard filidheachta
Am laine bhlithibh
Am an t-eo fis
Ca an crann agus an theine ag tuitim faire
Ca an dhamhairina cloch neamh shnaidhite
Am an rin gach uile choirceoige
Am an theine far gach uile chnoic
Am an scath far gach uile chinn
Am an sleagh catha
Am nm tonnag srthintaghav Am agh gach uile dhich dhaman
Ca fios aige conara na grine agus linn na isce
Ca tionl na rinn aige, ceangladh na farraige,
cor i n-eagar na harda, na haibhne, na tatha.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM

No arguement, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 12:36 PM

Note the beauty of the internal rhyme scheme in this extract from
Volvndarkvia
:

at spyrr Nvr
Niara drottinn,
at einn Volvndr
sat i Vlfda/lom;
nottom foro segger,
neglar vro brynior,
scildir blico eirra
vi enn scara mana.

Or this, from Beowulf:

    Gewat a neosian,         syan niht becom,
    hean huses,         hu hit Hringdene
    fter beorege         gebun hfdon.
    Fand a r inne         elinga gedriht
    swefan fter symble;         sorge ne cuon,

    wonsceaft wera.         Wiht unhlo,
    grim ond grdig,         gearo sona ws,
    reoc ond ree,         ond on rste genam
    ritig egna,         anon eft gewat
    hue hremig         to ham faran,

    mid re wlfylle         wica neosan.
    a ws on uhtan         mid rdge
    Grendles gucrft         gumum undyrne;
    a ws fter wiste         wop up ahafen,
    micel morgensweg.   

We don't need no steenking end rhymes when we got rhyme schemes like these!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM

I always thought the line was "Spout SPout damn Poet!"

But that's what I get for thinking...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM

Out! Out! Damn Poet!

Take this to a poetry thread. This is a BS thread. Mom sez so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:33 AM

I would hold, sir, that the repetition of the repeated rhyme is what gives it its legitimacy.

"Repetition of a sound, syllable, word, phrase, line, stanza, or metrical pattern is a basic unifying device in all poetry. It may reinforce, supplement, or even substitute for meter, the other chief controlling factor in the arrangement of words into poetry. Primitive religious chants from all cultures show repetition developing into cadence and song, with parallelism and repetition still constituting, most frequently as anaphora, an important part in the sophisticated and subtle rhetoric of contemporary liturgies (e.g., the Beatitudes). Frequently also, the exact repetition of words in the same metrical pattern at regular intervals forms a refrain, which serves to set off or divide narrative into segments, as in ballads, or, in Iyric poetry, to indicate shifts or developments of emotion. Such repetitions may serve as commentary, a static point against which the rest of the poem develops, or it may be simply a pleasing sound pattern to fill out a form ("hey downe adowne"). As a unifying device, independent of conventional metrics, repetition is found extensively in free verse, where parallelism (repetition of a grammar pattern) reinforced by the recurrence of actual words and phrases governs the rhythm which helps to distinguish free verse from prose (e.g., Walt Whitman, "I Hear America Singing"; Carl Sandburg, Chicago, The People Yes; Edgar Lee Masters, Spoon River Anthology).
The repetition of similar endings of words or even of identical syllables (rime riche) constitutes rhyme, used generally to bind lines together into larger units or to set up relationships within the same line (internal rhyme). Such repetition, as a tour de force, may be the center of interest in a poem, as Southey's "The Cataract of Lodore" and Belloc's "Tarantella," or may play a large part in establishing the mood of a poem, as in Byron's Don Juan."

"The repetition of a complete line within a poem may be related to the envelope stanza pattern, may be used regularly at the end of each stanza as a refrain, or in other ways. The multiple recurrence of a line at irregular intervals as in Catullus' 64th Ode, or the line "Cras a met qui numquam amavit, quique amavit cras a met," which occurs ten times in the 92 lines of the Pervigilium Veneris, illustrates the effect of a repetition of a specific line apart from a set place as furnished by stanzaic structure. Rarely a line may be repeated entire and immediately as a means of bringing a poem to a close, an extension of the method of bringing a sequence of terza rima to a close with a couplet:


And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

(Frost, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening") "

In a single stanza poem, the re-use of a word as its rhyme is to be avoided. I fear the only way that you may prevent this stain upon your poetic ability is to produce further stanzas. In addition, one should write poetry (here, of all places!) for the sheer joy of expression.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:26 AM

I prefer the Petrachian sonnet form or, failing that, the Shakespearian. In point of fact, I think that the internal rhyme schemes of Old Irish (Celtic) and Old Norse are quite comme il faut, and the modern propensity to use only end rhymes inhibits poetic development and create boredom for the reader/reciter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM

I would argue, sir, that replicating the use of a word -- not because of some poor impulse to rhyme, but because it contributes to the architecture of the poem in some luminous way -- is a long-proven and accepted poetic device. "Knocking on my chamber door", and "Bells, bells, bells" spring immediately to mind. As for the desire for multiple stanzas, while this would not be a difficult request to satisfy, I only write on demand for those who give money to the Mudcat, or to me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 07:34 AM

So, what is the next stanza???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 07:23 AM

Actually, it was ababaBB.

But it is generally accepted that the use of the same word for a rhyme within a stanza is the mark of a poor poet.

To establish it as correct, the poet needs to have multiple stanzas, with each showing the repeated rhyme scheme. Otherwise, it indicates a lack of effort on the part of the writer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 01:27 AM

How about MOABBA instead. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM

What? Literary and librarian geniuses all, and not recognize an ABABABB rhyme scheme, a classic Neopolitan verso reductio in the best tradition of the Medihumarian school of pre-sonnet forms? For fie!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM

"Song" would have worked too.

So would have:

dong
long
shlong
bong
cong
gong
pong
wrong
tong

and many others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 05:46 PM

He didn't--he used "strong" and "strong." He might have tried something a little naughty like "thong" but he was in a race to bag that number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:37 PM

Hey Amos - just had to dash back to say it's cheating to rhyme "stong" with "strong"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:35 PM

And even Mother grows a little old,
But somehow flourishes again, five hundred strong.
By Eighteen K five hundred posts made strong.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM

When summer days have come, but still seem cold.
And summer nights are pale, but never wrong...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:33 PM

That time of Thread thou mayest in me behold,
When posts are short, and threads are much too long....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:24 PM

well Mom, I'm off to go yell at the phone company (now in my fourth day of no service at the house) - the guy never showed last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:22 PM

Which is much more tasteful (though not as tasty as:)

Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
      Beau?ootiful Soo?oop!
      Beau?ootiful Soo?oop!
Soo?oop of the e?e?evening,
      Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

"Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two
pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
      Beau?ootiful Soo?oop!
      Beau?ootiful Soo?oop!
Soo?oop of the e?e?evening,
      Beautiful, beauti?FUL SOUP!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:18 PM

They may not taste good, but I am told they have good taste;

Except occasionally they insist upon a Quadrille. with Lobsters.

"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle - will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance -
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France -
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM

YEs, they are rare, and they glisten in the moonlight like mackerel; but they do NOT taste good and are not good for the brain.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM

ooo - Red Herrings are pretty rare, most herring are a really pretty silvery-blue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM

Red herrings, MMario.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM

Maybe *you* will "gracefully leap the hurdle" - but I think I'll just walk around it. Too much effort to leap.

and I've been meaning to ask, who built the dang obstacle course between here and 18500? Please, after the hurdle is another obstacle every post or so.

A Piranha tank? a tablefull of Micky-D food blocking the way! And what's with the "Complete Postings of Former Mudcat Members" with the sign on it marker "Read me"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 03:40 PM

It won't be long until we gracefully leap the hurdle of eighteen thousand five hundred posts, and come around the long turn for the home stretch into 19K. This is truly AWE-INSPIRING!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 03:30 PM

And a sharp-shooter shovel, I hope. Makes the job easier.
If I could train my dogs to dig where I want them to dig instead of where they feel like digging I'd never have to till or dig a garden again. And they do it for fun!

Cinnamon chased a possum up on the fence last night. I had to go thump it with a branch to get it to move along and out of sight or I was going to have this dog pestering the neighborhood all night. I found a spot in a different (dog free) part of the yard this morning where the dopey critter apparently thought he'd come to a barrier (the fence) so decided to try digging under--until he figured out to move over 18 inches and go around the end of it. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 01:23 PM

Thanks, amigo. But I have muskles.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM

I have a small garden tiller (electric) which can be converted to dig a trench. I'll let it to you if you come get it and bring it back as soon as you're done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM

Mom, yesterday I brought home a whole kit of equipment for inspecting pipes and such and ran an inspection camera with color-TV-display through the whole sewer system of our house. I realize sewers are not the ordinary topic of polite conversation, and some would not feel particularly interested in them, but it was really interesting to inspect the inside of the sewer by remote camera, see where the new piece had been out in five years ago, and very satisfying to notice that there were no significant chokes or blockages through the whole length down to the city's connector.

Then I went down and bought 100 feet of 1/2" sprinkler line and about 50 assorted joints and couplings to exptend the sprinkler system. I delight in mucking about with such things but I really do not want to dig the trench I will have to dig. But I will anyway, 'cause that's how you waised us.

I remember you saying to me when I was very small, and have never forgotten it:

When you get up to it,
And you cannot do it,
Then there you jolly well are....aren't you?
1



Thanks for that life-lesson, Mom. You're the best.


A

1 Actually a quote from the inimitable Lord Buckley, hipster extraordinaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 10:06 AM

Eschew nose talk.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM

...or other parts of your anatomy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM

Not if you talk through your nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:29 AM

I thought she said to eschew with your mouth closed (it works, doesn't it!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:23 AM

Take the palindrome!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:20 AM

Even Jell-o? Pureed bananas? Soft ice cream? Or did she mean "byte"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM

MOM has always said one should eschew each bite a hundred times or you might choke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 01:14 AM

Mark Twain said

"Eschew surplusage."

He didn't have the MOAB in mind at the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM

Or as they said in The Iliad, "Τυρί αυτό η αστυνομία!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 08:25 PM

Or as they say in Casablanca (the untranslated version), "Fromagez-le!! Les flics!!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 04:12 PM

As we used to say when we'd swipe stuff from the grocery, "Cop it! The cheese!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 03:14 PM

That's like...like...a wet dog in a henhouse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 03:11 PM

I thought he'd had one of those reckless metaphors reduced to an inappropriate simile?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 02:58 PM

"I just called this in. Mister, this poetic license was suspended twenty-two years back for scansion violations, and you have six outstanding instances of dangerously poor rhymes, writing with non-functional allegories, three citations of reckless metaphors, and one charge of using moribund imagery. What the heck you trying to pull here, anyway? Step away from that keyboard, Mister. We're going down town."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 02:12 PM

Officer: "I'm pulling you over for doing spatula in a natural zone."

Librarian: "But but but. . ."

Officer: "Let's see your license. Your poetic license."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:21 PM

One can sputter with a putter in the gutter, should one wish to do so. One can act natural with a spatulal, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM

the bootom - where the thread gets kicked (or "booted") off the current thread page.

I've never found it to be lonely near the bottom - at least not the bottom of the gutter. Lots of people in the gutter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 12:30 PM

We were buddies once upon a time
And then you took off on your social climb
But fortune only brought you misery
And now you're cryin' out for sympathy

Well, it's lonely at the top
Yea, it's lonely at the top
Well, if this workin' man were you
He'd just enjoy the view
'Cause it's lonely at the bottom too
Lonely at the bottom too

You're livin' high on easy street
And we're just tryin' to make ends meet
If you get tired of the grind
We'll I'll take your place and buddy you take mine

Well, it's lonely at the top
Yea, it's lonely at the top
Well, if this workin' man were you
He'd just enjoy the view
'Cause it's lonely at the bottom too
Lonely at the bottom too

Like a kitten in the neighbor's tree
Climbin' up to see what you could see
Now you're cryin', 'cause you need some help
Well, everybody's got to help themselves

Well, it's lonely at the top
Yea, it's lonely at the top
Well, if this workin' man were you
He'd just enjoy the view
'Cause it's lonely at the bottom too
Lonely at the bottom too


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